I am a dirt bag when it comes to updates. You all know this. School kinda slapped me in the face and now I have to do college stuff, so maybe after December I can finally finish the beast -_-'

I did apply to all of my colleges. Now I just have to get into one...piece of cake (or not. Probably not).

Disclaimer: For the 22nd time ehem I AM NOT THE OWNER OF FAIRY TAIL OR ITS RELATED CHARACTERS! That would be the wonderful person known as Hiro Mashima. So, please don't sue me.

"Why did I say yes?" Levy groaned, patting her bloated stomach in a (pointless) attempt to assure herself that she hadn't gained a pound or two during her morning of cake testing to play pretend about getting married. After the news that Levy and Gajeel were going to tie the knot, Jet and Droy had bucked up and offered to help plan the wedding. They bluntly ignored Gajeel and Levy's wishes to have an event that was "small, totally insignificant, and barely noticeable," and instead decided that they were going to throw a huge party that rivaled Fairy Tail back when it was a guild filled with drunken and destructive wizards. Levy had to admit, their energy was incredible; it hasn't even been more than a day since the (fake) engagement and had a quarter of the wedding covered. Right now, they were doing something considerably easy: getting Gajeel a suit.

Considering the whole ordeal was supposed to be fake, neither Levy nor her "fiance" were particularly enthused.

"I wish you hadn't," Gajeel squeaked over to her, wincing every time the shoes he was wearing touched the floor. Well, it was either his noisy shoes, or the fact that his air supply was cut off because of the suit and tie he was wearing. Levy looked up and couldn't help but laugh; the suit, black and fancy, was completely contradicted by the metal piercings that dotted his face. Sadly, laughing only made her full stomach worse. She rolled off her chair and braced for impact, but Gajeel plucked her from the air before her face could make a nice indent on the carpeted floor.

"This is it," she wheezed in his arms, "I'm dying. Think fondly of me, Gajeel...make sure to bury me with books..." her voice had dropped to a breathless whisper. She put a hand on his cheek and allowed the other to fall to her forehead. "And don't let Jet and Droy creep on my grave," she added as an afterthought in the same tone. Her fake fiance rolled his eyes at her dramatics.

"Yer not going to die, Shrimp," he put her back in her chair and ignored the ripping sound that came from the suit. Neither of them had the money to pay for it, so he was just going to pretend his freak dragon slayer ears didn't pick up any sound and pray that there wasn't a rip to be found... (A/N: This happened to me once when I was trying to get out of a prom dress. Luckily the lady didn't see anything and I left the store and never returned. Whoops?)

"Why isn't it working?" She groaned. "Their spirits were supposed to be crushed!" This make her sound like a terrible person, but in all honesty, the pair wouldn't have gone this far if the two would have fallen for their earlier ploys. But nooooo, they had to be persistent. So really, it's their fault...right?

"I dunno," Gajeel grunted, shrugging as much as the tight suit would allow. "You think they're trying to call our bluff?" The two looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter at the thought that those two adorable (although stalkery sometimes) knuckleheads would think about calling their bluff. They can sometimes be bright, but not that bright, especially when it comes to Levy.

"Oh god, don't make me laugh," Levy wheezed, "or I really am going to die," tears were coming out of her eyes and she fell forward, smacking her forehead on Gajeel's forehead with a loud "CRACK!" They both rocked back and tried to hold back the tears of pain that threatened to fall. Well, that's what Gajeel was doing, anyway. Levy was trying to cool her heated face down. She had been so close to his face, to his-

"If anyone is going to die," the tailor walked in, giving Levy her needed reprieve, "Its those criminals who were arrested. Who would have thought that so many people would commit treason! Especially since they were...well, you know," she forced Gajeel to stand up and started to circle him, having a satisfied look on her face until her eyes traveled high enough to see the man's hair, which was tried back in a low ponytail today, and piercings. "My God, dear, why would you do that to your face?" She gasped. The next couple of minutes were spent ignoring what her opinions were on the subject of appropriate body piercings.

"Wait," Levy interrupted the tailor's little rant, "was everyone arrested a former guild master?" She noticed her slip up when the tailor winced at the word "guild". Whoops.

"Most of them, yes," the woman said cautiously. Levy had a very concentrated look on her face.

"What is it, Shrimp?" Gajeel asked as he struggled to escape from the clutches of his tie.

"Something isn't right," She grabbed her phone, her keys, and Gajeel's hand. "Come on," she said, "we have some investigation to do."

The bells in the store went off when they tried to go through the front door.

"Right after we pay for your suit."

The day after Natsu and Lucy's fight, Lucy woke up in the afternoon feeling refreshed and incredibly happy with her life. The sun was shining through her window and it wasn't burning her eyes, the birds morning chirping wasn't annoying, Natsu and Happy were sitting on her couch...

Wait, what?

"WHAT THE HELL?" Lucy screamed, throwing a pillow at the intruding pair. Natsu calmly muted her TV and moved to dodge the fluffy projectile.

"Finally," Natsu said as a greeting, stretching his arms as he did so, "we thought you were never going to get up."

"How long have you been here?"

"An hour or so," Natsu shrugged like breaking and entering was no big deal. Oh, wait, to him it really wasn't.

"...I should just give you guys a key," she sighed. Natsu nodded and went back to watching her TV while she got dressed. It was odd that they had been here for so long without blowing anything up, but it was still kind of early. Anything could happen. However, Lucy decided to ignore her apartment's fate and watch something mindless with her two best friends.

"You know, it's weird," She hopped over the couch and narrowly avoided landing on a sleeping Happy. Luckily, his owner had been paying attention and was able to pluck him out of harm's way just in time.

"What?"

"You're my best friend," she stated simply. Natsu looked at her like 'so what' and she rolled her eyes. "I've known Levy, Erza and Mira and my other friends since freshman year in college, but I've barely known you for six months and you're my best friend."

"Seriously? You don't have any childhood friends or whatever?" He asked in disbelief.

"No, my father...well, after my mother died, he wanted me to focus on my studies," Lucy shrugged like the most lonely part of her life was no big deal. She saw Natsu's hand ball into a fist and his jaw clench at this fun little factoid. "So," she clapped, trying to change the subject, "what about you?"

"Well, I've known Gray, Gajeel, Mira and the others since we all grew up together in Fairy Tail. I was pretty close to Mira's sister, Lisanna—" Natsu abruptly stopped talking when he said her name. It still brought back flashbacks...

"But?" Lucy prompted, looking at him curiously.

"But now we aren't anymore," Natsu looked pointedly at the TV. The conversation was obviously over. Lucy was curious, but she decided to drop it. After all, she was holding back things about her own past, so who was she to call the kettle black? They sat in awkward silence for a couple minutes, not used to the heart to heart. Natsu even grabbed her phone and started playing this new game that she got called "Trivia Crack." Then, Lucy's stomach started to growl. So, with a groan she rolled off the couch (literally) and walked over to her fridge, imagining bacon with eggs and a side of toast and answering the questions that Natsu read out to her. When she opened her fridge, she was met with the most horrible thing imaginable: it was...empty?

"Natsu," she called out, eerily calm. She didn't see from her spot in the kitchen, but both Natsu and his cat froze where they were. At this crucial moment, they couldn't make a sound: any sudden noise would eliminate any and all chances of survival.

"Yeah?" Natsu squeaked.

"Where is all of my food?" Lucy asked as she slowly made her way out of the kitchen and towards the couch. Natsu didn't know what to do, if he should confess or try to play dumb. Either way, Lucy was going to end up as a seething mass of rage and hunger. Luckily for him, Lucy wasn't in the mood for explanations; instead, she stepped in front of him, reached in his vest pocket, and grabbed his wallet and counted how much he had. Ten dollars was enough to buy her a bagel at the coffee shop a block away. With a hand motion that either meant "stay here" or "I'm going to crush you," Lucy walked out the door, not even bothering to bring her key or phone with her.

"Holy shit," Natsu whispered when she was gone. "I thought I was going to die." He looked over to his cat, who seemed to be too traumatized to talk so he only nodded.

"Why did your plan to make her leave have to be so crazy?" Happy asked when his voice returned.

"Well, how else were we going to get her phone?" Natsu was already scrolling through her contacts, copying down the numbers of her friends that he would call later for Lucy's surprise. He must really like that blonde if he was willing to shorten his lifespan by 50 years just so that he could make her happy. Wait, but not like like, he liked her as a friend. That's all she was: a friend. Well, his best friend, but- whatever.

"Natsu, why are you blushing?" Happy asked, snapping the boy out of his thoughts.

"I'm not blushing!" He snapped, although a quick inspection revealed that his face was definitely feeling warmer than usual.

"Are you thinking about Lucy?" His cat asked, giggling deviously. Natsu didn't answer the question and decided to smother the cat with a pillow instead. The blue feline was crying for mercy when the doorbell rang. Deciding that he couldn't get into any more trouble by answering the door like he lived there, Natsu hopped up and answered the door. However, when he opened the door, no one was there, just a creamy white envelope sitting on top of Lucy's flowery doormat. Natsu picked it up and inspected it on his way back to the couch. It looked like the letter that Lucy had gotten from her quote unquote father; actually, it looked exactly like that letter.

Hmm, to open it or to not open it...

"Uh, Natsu? Isn't that Lucy's mail?" Happy asked as he watched his idiotic owner open Lucy's letter. The boy offered no response, instead carefully opening the envelope and extracting the letter. He read it for a couple of minutes, groaning at parts that sounded especially sappy, until he reached a certain sentence:

I am glad to hear that you are doing well. I was wondering if you would be interested in coming home this weekend? It will be your mother's birthday, and I think that she would have wanted nothing more than her husband and daughter to be together on her day.

"He wants her to come home," Natsu deadpanned. Happy looked at him with a confused expression, so Natsu decided to elaborate. "The dead beat dad wants her to come home and used her dead mom as an excuse! Who the tell does that?!"

"Natsu, don't you think you should just leave this alone?" Happy asked nervously. Natsu had been happy five minutes before, and now he was trying to stop himself from burning the letter to ashes. This is the exact behavior that had started his fight with Lucy last time, and now it seemed like the two were stuck in a vicious cycle. And yes, he understood that he probably should leave it alone. He probably should just put the letter back in the envelope and pretend like it never happened.

But then he thought about those days alone after Igneel left him. And he'd burn before he let the same hurt happen to Lucy.

"Nope," Natsu said. He put the letter back in the envelope and slid it in his inside jacket pocket. Just in time too, because just as he did, Lucy opened the door and threw a bagel his way. As the blonde filled him in on her coffee shop experience involving a Great Dane and an expresso, Happy shot his owner a glare, one that Natsu ignored.

He was protecting Lucy. Just like he will always do.

"What are we doing here, Shrimp?" Gajeel asked, the most bored expression on his face.

"For the last time Gajeel, stop calling me Shrimp!" Levy whisper-yelled. The librarian at the front desk, aka her boss, gave her a dirty look. Can I just point out that the old, wrinkly woman was located at the other end of the library? Because she was, and still thought it was necessary to shush Levy. Crazy bat-eared lady.

"Sure, Shrimp," Gajeel smirked at Levy's annoyed expression. "Seriously, why are we here?"

"Do you know what is in the library, Gajeel?"

"My afternoon snack?" He asked, staring at the iron decorations with a longing expression on his face. Levy loudly slapped his arm, causing her boss to shush her again.

"No," Levy wanted to cry. Why was she marrying this idiot? Well, it was fake, but still...

"Books?"

"Yes," she said slowly, "books. And do you know what kind of books?" He gave her a blank stare, making her sigh in exasperation. "Reports, Gajeel! Something weird is going on in the Underworld. Aren't you a little curious?"

"Not really," he shrugged. She wanted to bang her head on the table. This is why she has Lucy accompany her with this sort of thing. The curious blonde would already be pulling books of the shelves by now, trying to solve the puzzle that captured their attention. But, Levy was stuck with this lump of iron instead.

"Well I am," she whispered while rolling up her sleeves, "and I'm going to find out what's going on. You can help me or you can-" She was cut off by loud snores that seemed to be coming from right next to her. She looked down to see that Gajeel had conked out, using her bag as a pillow.

"Fine," she sighed, and got to work. Taking out her trusty magic glasses, she began to read the first of a hundred police reports dating back for the last couple of months. This was going to take a while.

"Master?" Wendy Marvell tapped on the old door hesitantly. She knew he had a long, tiring day, creepily staring at his grandson while simultaneously trying to figure out what exactly said grandson was plotting. After hours and hours of thought, he finally stood up and stormed out of the room, barking an order at Wendy and Romeo, who had come in to see what he was up to, to gather a select group of people. After rounding up everyone on the list he had given them, they had returned with the most mismatched group ever: two drunkards, a woman who kept talking about the wonders of love, and a scary looking woman who looked like she could skewer someone in any moment. The famous (or should I say infamous?) Erza Scarlet had arrived at the guild yesterday, huffing and puffing and demanding to talk to Makarov again. After a long conversation, she ran back out, only to return again today. She was already in the office, and Wendy could hear a whispered conversation behind the master's door.

"Come in Wendy," a tired voice called out from the other side of the door. Wendy exhaled in relief and led the group into Makarov's office. The members of the group bowed their heads in respect as they met the old man's gaze. Well, most of them did.

"Hey old man," one of the drunkards hiccuped, smiling big. Makarov had to mentally restrain himself from crying; he called in for some reinforcements to help him deal with his troublesome grandson, and this is what he gets.

"Hello everyone," Makarov started, "now, I know this is a little sudden-"

"Not really-" the drunkard interrupted. Makarov fought back the urge to punch him. His children's violent tendencies were starting to rub off on him.

"-but I have a favor to ask all of you."

"Whatever it is," the scary lady with the dark hair and sword started, "Mermaid Heel is behind you."

"So is Lamia Scale," The pinkette, who was drawing hearts on her hand with a pink marker, chimed in.

"And Cuatro Cerebus," the male drunkard yelled, shaking his flask in the air.

"And Blue Pegasus," the second drunkard reported, "Hibiki would be here, but he has to go find another job to cover rent."

"Thank you, Cana," Makarov turned to the rest of his ragtag leaders, "Thank you, everyone. I know we have a lot to talk about, but time is of the essence..."

"Huh," Levy sat back in her chair. Her eyes felt dry from not blinking for so long, but at the moment it didn't matter. After looking through report after report, Levy noticed an unsettling correlation. A while ago, there was a spike of gang activity, but after that, gangs started dropping off the map. Those who were regularly caught with theft or street fights suddenly became angels. Those who didn't were found beaten up and caught by the police. A widespread disappearance like this wasn't normal, and if they were all disappearing, then maybe they were all going to the same place.

"Gajeel," Levy hit her companion with a bundle of files, "I said, 'huh'!"

"What?" Gajeel groaned. Actually, he practically growled.

"Look," Levy showed him her notes. After a minute of scanning her script, he gave her a 'so-what' look. "If these groups are disappearing, then what if they're moving to the same place?"

"What, like someone is building an army? What does that have to do with the guildmasters?"

"I don't know, but there is one person we can ask," Levy looked over the reports, "Master Makarov. He's the only one who hasn't been arrested yet."

"Gramps?" Gajeel's eyes widened.

"You know him?" Levy asked, curious.

"Yeah, I grew up in Fairy Tail," Gajeel straightened up, finally interested. "I mean, we were going to talk to Gramps anyway, so might as well go now."

"What are we waiting for, then?"

Makarov heaved a sigh before beginning again (I say again because more than half of this group has the attention span of a goldfish and he had to repeatedly explain himself), "I think my idiot grandson was planning something, and that something has something to do with the guildmasters being arrested."

"Was?" The scary mermaid Heel woman, Kagura, asked.

"Two nights ago, he showed up in my doorstep in a coma. According to Miss. Scarlet, yesterday morning he was at a meeting with a king, and that meeting resulted in the arrests."

"But if Laxus was in a coma..." Cana trailed off, not wanting to hear the truth. Ugh, more Laxus Dreyers? Isn't the world filled with enough jackassy brooding adults?

"Then there is a man impersonating my grandson, "Makarov finished gravely, "and, according to Miss. Scarlet, he has it out for the crown."

"What are we supposed to do?" The weird heart woman asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Makarov cocked an eyebrow, "We're going to war."

"But how do we know when to attack?" Baccus burped.

"Laxus is supposed to go to some banquet Monday," Erza spoke up, "Important officials are supposed to go, and I think the king attends as well."

"That sounds like our day," Cana nodded.

"How is he going to do it, though?" Erza asked.

"Master?" Wendy Marvell knocked on the door, making the conversation come to an abrupt halt.

"Yes, Wendy?"

"Gajeel-san is here and has something important to tell you."

"Okay," Makarov repressed the urge to sigh. This better not be about Natsu and Gray-

"Gramps," the black haired mongrel burst into the room. "Shri—I mean, my friend Levy here has something to tell you." He stepped aside to reveal a blue haired girl who was clutching a bundle of manila filing folders. She immediately stepped forward and, in a voice much louder than expected given her small side, described her findings, how there is possibly an army of gangs massing for some unknown reason.

"Well," Erza said grimly when the short woman was done explaining, "that explains some things."

Makarov did sigh then, and started to form a plan while Gajeel and his friend were filled in on the details.

Hey guys, it's like I'm back from the dead!

…

Yeah, okay, I am SUPER DOOPER sorry for not updating. Its just, between this whole college thing and the rest of my life, writing had to take a little backseat. But no worries, I do not intend on abandoning my baby! Which, btw, I forsee four to five chapters left? So hey, maybe I'll finish it before we all turn 80!

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and patient waiting! I know its asking a lot, but please keep them coming? They are definitely motivators to update. Seriously, without the support, I wouldn't have thought about this chapter at all this break.

Also, since it has been so long since I've updated, please please please tell me if I messed up something with a detail or with the timing. I know its kinda sad that the author can't keep track of everything, but...well...

MOVING ON! So, I hope you guys have a lovely day. I'm going to try to get the next chapter written up by next Friday. Until then, my lovelies!

~NeverMakesSense