Ch: 6 Training with a Drunk Lady Pt 1

An: Hopefully I can keep this short. I will personally pm anyone who wants me to the reason why Naruto is so close to Hinata, this pm will involve SPOILERS. I know I am being a hypocritical bastard but most of the reviews I get see only the 'then' and 'now' parts of the story. Not the long term goal in effect. I don't know if I just didn't leave enough clues or something but it's simply stupid how many people think this is a Hinata fic just because Naruto is getting close to Hinata. While Hinata and Naruto being together is my favorite pairing, I knew it wouldn't fly in my story and had planned what to do to change it from NaruHina to Naruto and mysterious character not as of yet named.

Also, I get it. Naruto is a complete asshole. But imagine your parents not simply saying I love you for all of your childhood and that the city you live in hates your guts and everybody beats the shit out of you because of things you couldn't control. Then come and tell me you would be miss sunshine like canon Naruto.

Alright, rant over and the AN is long. Just read the chapter and yell at me for being mean in a review. Ole Mad.

"Hello" normal talking

"Time to die" mental thoughts

"I like donuts" biju/demon/jinchuuriki using biju chakra

"I shall lace the donuts with poison" mental thoughts of biju e.t.c

Ch: 6 Training with a Drunk Lady Pt 1

"What is this!" I exclaimed, angrily thrusting the mission scroll forward.

"That," Mikoto spoke cheerfully, "is a mission for you to bodyguard me on my trip to Tanzaku town."

"But..." I began to splutter, "I need to train for the chunin exams and you're a ninja yourself! You don't need a bodyguard."

"On the contrary Naruto-kun, I am no longer an active Kuinochi and while you think you need to train, it's more likely you need a vacation. There is also the fact that even though three-fourths of your team are fighting in the chunin exams, your team is still active. Since your teammates are both training with certain people, Narumi training with Kushina-san and Hinata with her father and Kurenai, that leaves only you to represent your team," Mikoto finished with a grin.

I fumbled through my jumbled thoughts, searching for a counter-argument but could think of nothing. There also might be the slightest chance that my only real reason for not wanting to do this mission was because I felt extremely guilty just being in Mikoto-san's presence. This woman in front of me held my greatest respect and was more of a mother to me than Kushina ever was. This wonderful lady had even comforted me, ME, after I had murdered her son. Let's just say I felt I owed her a debt and I also felt really unworthy of being around her.

By the time I had wrenched myself from my thoughts, and plugged my sensitive senses with a good deal of chakra so that I don't smell a wisp of perfume that's a mile away and distract me from my conversation, Mikoto-san was already walking out the gate. I chased after her, and stood dutifully and silently a few feet behind her.

"Oh, come on Naruto-kun. Cheer up! I heard Tanzaku town has many gambling attractions and a good deal of pretty women..." Mikoto continued to chatter on about the qualities of the town, her own face smiling and happy. Each and every second I looked at the smile made my head throb and my heart ache. I had killed this woman's son. Why didn't she hate me? Why did I feel so guilty? Why did I feel so happy in her presence, like a warm blanket had surrounded me? It all just didn't make any sense.

"Hey, Naruto-kun... Naruto-kun," was the words Mikoto finally broke through my thoughts with. "Yes, Mikoto-san?" I returned. "Stop with that Mikoto-san business, makes me feel old and I know you. You're not just some stranger. Call me Mikoto-chan! Say it with me, Mi-ko-to-chan," Mikoto ordered

"I get Mikoto-san," I quickly changed what I was saying after looking at Mikoto's glare, "I mean Mikoto-chan. So what exactly are we trying to get from Tanzaku town? I doubt we are going there to gamble."

"I," Mikoto dictated, a strange stare from her pointed directly at me, "am going to meet up with some old Uchiha contacts to get some items. While we wait for the items to be delivered to town, the two of us will stay together at a hotel. Maybe while we're there we'll sample some of the fun, Naruto-kun?"

"S-s-sure Mikoto-chan, whatever you want," I stammered back. I felt even guiltier for just thinking I might disappoint Mikoto-san, I mean, Mikoto-chan. So no matter had bad my guilt was, I would try to please Mikoto-chan during this trip and do what she wanted.

…...Konoha...Narumi perspective...

Sometimes I didn't get people. I mean, why was everybody so mean to each other and why did everybody act so funny about simple stuff. If you want to tell someone something just say it. It would save minutes of pointless conversation. I just wished everybody would be nicer. But, I knew that would be really hard to make happen so I needed to become really strong and make it happen with my big brother.

I loved my brother. He's so very handsome and strong. He also was one of the coolest big brothers ever. He may seem really mean and cold, but he just didn't understand how much he cared for everybody. Especially Kaa-san, Tou-san, and me. He was always really cold around me and kaa-san and tou-san. I didn't quite understand why.

I mean, I know when I was younger didn't exactly act very nice to my nii-san. I was actually kind of mean, but no one told me I was being mean. I also didn't know what to do most of the time and didn't know how to react. One such time was when I saw the nice ramen people hurting Nii-san. I didn't know how to react or what to do so I stayed quiet and just ignored it.

I may have also as a child told everybody to not play with my Nii-san. Not because I didn't want him to have friends, I just wanted him all to myself. My Nii-san was too good for other people. But later when I had joined the academy and learned about things that had happened to my nii-san I felt bad. So I tried to make it up to him the only way I could. I tried to get him to sit next to me and be friends with my friends. I tried to hug him and spend more time with him. But my Nii-san was always so busy.

But then my nii-san and I were put on the same genin team! It was awesome. I finally had my Nii-san all to myself(well, if you don't count Hinata and Kurenai). But if anything, my Nii-san grew more distant. Then when we returned from wave, we were almost immediately swept into the chunin exams.

Almost all of the exams were a blur for me. I remember a really hard test and then being in a jungle. Then I fought a red-headed girl from Kusa and when I did we had a weird conversation. All through the fight we talked about my Aniki and then the chick made me really mad. She said she wanted that, and I say this in her own words(no matter how true they may be), "Glorious piece of man-meat all to herself". That pissed me off, so I charged her and punched her until she gave up.

It was as she laid panting on the ground that I told her I was willing to share my nii-san and walked away. I know it's not exactly normal to love your Nii-san in the way that I do, but, I love my Nii-san. I just wished he would love me the way I would love him. He was just so... so... words just can't describe his amazing-ness. I truly loved my nii-san.

Anyway, back to the exam, after tou-san talked to everybody, he stopped nii-san and had a weird conversation with him. I only heard snippets from my hiding spot behind the wall, but I heard enough. Kaa-san and Tou-san had done something to Nii-san and I planned to find out what it was!

…...Kushina's perspective...

I bit my nail as I sat in front of the Yamanaka man. I couldn't take the raw guilt I was feeling. There had to be a reason why I had mistreated my son in such a way. There simply wasn't a logical reason why Minato and I had suddenly just stopped paying attention to our child. I sniffed a nasty plot about that was a decade in the making.

"So let me get this straight, you want to look through your own memories by having me send you into your own subconscious?" The Yamanaka slowly drawled.

"YES!" I exclaimed.

"This isn't cheap you know, you are going to need to pay a pretty penny for this."

"I know," I replied, "it's worth it."

"Alright," the Yamanaka sighed, "prepare yourself, forced entry into one's own subconscious is pretty painful." The blond man then snapped through three quick seals and the last thin I saw was the man sitting down and pulling out a magazine.

The pain I felt as I was shoved into my subconscious was every bit as painful as the man promised. Like bits of glass pushed into the very ends of your nerves and left there while someone punches that spot where the glass is. But every second I hurt because the technique I yelled at myself that I deserved it for being a horrible mother to my son.

When I finally hit my 'inner mind' all I saw was the giant rock that the Kyuubi was once impaled to in my mind and the ankle deep water-floor thing I was standing on. After the Kyuubi I had been released from me by the strange masked-man, I wasn't able to return to this room, or my mind at all.

Over on the wall though was something new, a door. The door itself was nothing impressive, just a cast-iron door about the size of a door you would see on a building and was rusting. It was just the thousands, and I do mean thousands, of seals swirling about the door in a counterclockwise movement. From the few seals I saw, I easily deduced it was the Yamanaka's jutsu at work.

I made my way over to the door and entered through it. Everything went dark as soon as I stepped through the passage way. Then small pin pricks of light started to appear. First there was only two, then four, then they kept multiplying until there was a million of them all rushing towards me. As the pricks got closer, I saw that they were not lights at all but... broken shards of glass flashing something.

When the shards finally stopped, they completely surrounded me on every side. Millions of little bits here and there, small flashes of colors and things passing through the screens of the shards. I grabbed one and surprisingly it didn't cut me. I looked closer and suddenly got a strange idea. I lifted the shard and slammed into my hand. There was no pain, or blood. The shard just slipped into my hand like it never existed.

I simply floated there in the middle of black space before all the glass shards started vibrating. Then the shards moved. Every shard flew in front of my vision and started interlocking, somehow coming together to form one giant curling screen, the humongous glass object making a perfect round visor that took up all of my vision.

Somehow I knew the screen was perfectly matching my vision, that it was like looking at things with your eyes normally with the one-hundred and twenty degree view. That nothing of the screen was being left out. Then the screen lit up. A close up of Minato's face when we had been so much younger. I remembered this memory. This was the day Minato had saved me from being kidnapped.

It was strange. Somehow while the screen played the memory in perfect clarity and the words spoken by myself and Minato floated through the air, actually making noise, the memory played through my head. If I thought inwardly I literally saw my self watching the memory. This all was very strange and confusing.

I reopened my eyes and watched the memory. When Minato finally stopped talking the screen exploded back into a million pieces and surrounded me once more. I looked at my hand and the shard I had stabbed myself was sitting in my palm. I understood now, I understood how to view all of my memories.

…...Minato's perspective...

I clawed at my hair. It kept swinging in front of my eyes and blocking my vision. After the conversation with my son, I felt even worse. My guilt was ripping my stomach asunder. I hadn't eaten in five days and barely drank a sip of water during each of those days when my son was in the forest of doom that was the forest of death. During those days, I had completely renovated Naruto's room. I first made the room bigger with some quick construction. I then got a new and bigger bed and a new desk for him. I also bought a large amount of remakes of that black outfit of his and filled his closet with them.

I had spared no expense, even though I knew that physical objects weren't going to fix what I had done. Then when I finally got a chance to speak with my son, he declared he wanted not only me dead, but Narumi and Kushina. No matter how much I want my son to get what he deserves, the peace and resolution he craves, I couldn't let him hurt Kushina and Narumi. The boy could destroy Konoha for all I care, Kami knows most of the citizens deserved it. But I needed my family.

So with the help of Jiraiya-sensei, we had slaved over this damn seal in front of me for hours. The seal was simple. It would seal all the hatred Naruto held toward Konoha and put it towards the Akatsuki. It would also lock away all memories of abuse and neglect by myself and Kushina and Konoha's citizens. It also had a fail safe. If Naruto somehow over-powered or unlocks the seal, it would immediately teleport my own self to the boy so I could fix the seal.

The only problems now was on how to get the seal on the boy and how to make the guilt I was feeling go away. I knew I needed to put the seal on the boy, but I wondered if it was the right thing to do.

…...Naruto's perspective... Two days after leaving Konoha...

When we finally reached Tanzaku town, Mikoto had almost immediately abandoned me to wonder around while she went to meet up with her contacts. It was as she ran off that she pointed at a hotel and told me to meet her there at about midnight. I simply nodded and watched her run off.

Then I was bored. Bored beyond all measure. With nothing to do and time to kill, I decided to get some food. So I looked for the closest restaurant and it turned out to be a half bar half diner place called Tanzaku's cup. I entered it and made my way to a bar stool and sat down.

Before I knew it, the hours had passed and it was seven O'clock and I had nearly three dozen bottles of alcohol, empty of their contents, sitting around me. I wasn't drunk of course, the Kyuubi made sure of that, but I was pleasantly buzzed. That's about as much drunk as I can get. Regardless of how much I drink, and I have tried, I have never been able to get more than a buzz.

It was while I was attempting to persuade the bartender to give me another bottle that the door flew open and someone marched in. I didn't even glance at the door, completely ignoring whoever had opened the door. I heard the slight depress of air as the cushion in the seat next to me was sat on. The pale white hands next to me with red nail polish gingerly held a large dollar bill. Not large in size, but in amount.

The woman next called out loudly, her voice filled with annoyance and what I guessed was depression, "Bring me the strongest bottle of whiskey you got!"

I simply turned back to my own bottle I had swiped from a passing waitress when it was apparent the bartender wasn't going to give me more sake. I sipped straight from the bottle, completely ignoring the spotless saucer in front of me that I was given when I had bought my first bottle of the day.

I heard the door swing open again, much more easier and gentle than the woman next to me had, and the soft soprano of the woman who called out surprised me.

"Tsunade-sama, you need to stop running off when you lose a game of cards. Those angry gamblers nearly turned TonTon into bacon."

"Oh, shut up Shizune," the newly named Tsunade growled, "I'm not in the mood."

With my sharp hearing I heard Shizune mumble, "but you're never in the mood." The woman then stepped forward from the door where I had pinpointed she was still standing and walked across the few dozen feet between her and this Tsunade next to me. I snorted for a moment because a funny thought I had entered my head. The thought that the obvious drunkard next to me might be Tsunade of the Sannin.

I laughed once more quietly to myself.

"What're are you laughing about shrimp," the woman next to me snapped.

I guess I had laughed a little too loud. "Just a thought that doesn't concern you miss, now leave me be," I threw right back.

"Who do you think you're talking to brat!" Tsunade screeched. "I'm Tsunade of the Sannin I'll have you know.

I fully turned to the woman and got a good look at her. A beautiful woman who appeared to be in her late twenties was what my eyes saw. What my nose saw was a different matter. My nose saw an old woman in her fifties who while is still pretty, is not exactly the ten out of ten I was looking at.

"Ha! You, Tsunade of the Sannin. All I see is an old drunkard hiding under a henge trying to threaten me," I returned with equal fire. The woman looked slightly taken back by my exclamation before glancing at her large pile of empty sake bottles she had drunk in the small lapse of twenties minutes between when she had sat down and when Shizune had showed up.

Her finely manicured eyebrows then furrowed, "Well, all I see is a stupid Gaki hiding under a cloth mask and stupid sunglasses pretending he can dictate facts to his betters. Why don't you go cry to your kaa-san you idiot."

I stood up slamming my fists into the bar table, "Why don't you go cry to your assistant about your troubles you old bitch!"

Drinking made me a little less patient when it comes to annoyances.

"WHO YOU CALLING A BITCH?!" Tsunade screamed.

"OH, I DON'T KNOW! MAY BE THE OLD SAGGY, WRINKLY, BITCHHHH RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!" I returned with equal fervor, completely enraged by the blonde woman.

Suddenly I was flying through the wall and slammed against a brick wall. I jumped to my feet, flung my arm out to allow a ball of lightning to appear and then turn kunai shaped before charging straight back into the building and stabbing the now once more drinking woman in the back before flying through several dozen bottles of alcohol, the blonde bitch screaming at the sudden shock of my attack.

The two of us ended up going through the kitchen of an old cat lady's house and onto the street outside of the cat lady's home. Tsunade grabbed me and through me away down the street and I tumbled before regaining my feet. The woman held her limp shoulder, no blood actually spilling from the wound. Her hand was glowing green and felt annoyed. The woman might actually be Tsunade.

It didn't matter. A Sannin was kage strength. This could allow me to find out if I could fight a kage. That, and my real reason was I wanted to punch the smug bitch's face. I charged her my hands flying through seals. As soon as I was a dozen feet from the woman, her fist of her newly healed arm slammed into the ground causing a massive crater. I simply jumped in the air, finished the last two seals of my jutsu and opened my mouth to allow several water bullets the shape of fists fly towards the woman.

The blonde female easily smacked the attack away and reared her hand back before flinging it into my face and I once more soared backwards. As soon as I hit the ground, I sprung back up and began to think. What could I use to fight the woman. Most of my ninjutsu were out because they were either too weak or too destructive. I doubted a genjutsu would work on the woman unless it was an Itachi level one and I didn't have twenty minutes to form all the seals for a jutsu like that.

Same with Fuuinjutsu, I just didn't have the time to make the seal I needed to stop the woman. That left taijutsu and whatever the Kyuubi gave me with her stupid demonic blood. I had already attempted taijutsu and that just got me punched in the face. So Kyuubi stuff.

I reached up a hand and tapped the tattoo on my neck through the cloth. My fingers directly hit the white-furred fox and a quick burst of the abilities I got from the demon blood ran through my head. It actually wasn't all that much. Advanced senses and reflexes, a little more chakra, and easier access to the Kyuubi's Chakra. A good boost to my healing factor, and then the sage jutsu or senjutsu.

I still hadn't figured out what senjutsu was. Not a single book in the Konoha library for ninjas even mentioned it. I had even asked Kyuubi but she had just smiled and went back to sleep. All I knew was that the knowledge in my head told me to sit still for five minutes and draw in the natural essence of the world. I didn't particularly know what it meant by that, but I felt this was my key to beating Tsunade.

I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts by a falling blue fist and barely dodged the punch. I spawned a dozen shadow clones and a half-a-dozen explosive shadow clones. I then kawarimi'd with some nearby leaves and sat down on top of a tree. I used a genjutsu and completely hid my presence.

Then I sat there, trying not to move. I watched Tsunade tear my clones apart and summoned in more and more to replace the dead ones.

Then I felt a tug on my mind and was drawn into mind.

…...Naruto's mind...

"KYUUBI! What are you doing! I am fighting a Sannin and I need to concentrate!" I screeched, nearly hyperventilating from the thought of my defenseless body sitting on a tree with no protection.

"Ara, ara, calm down Naruto-kun. I am just going to help you use this sage jutsu," the Kyuubi replied, though where she was, I couldn't see her. I looked around the cage for a moment and finally found her, in that strange Hinata form again.

"Hey, why do you have to be so creepy and look like people I know and hate ,Kyuubi," I asked still feeling slightly nervous about my body being unattended.

"What, you don't like these," and then the strange Kyuubi/Hinata form lifted her hands and squeezed the budding girl's chest. I blanched. I would pay to un-see that. Not only was it completely creepy seeing as how the being in front of me was the Kyuubi, it was worse to think quiet, mousy, introverted Hinata would ever do something like that.

"How bout this?" and Kyuubi's form changed and it was Narumi with Kyuubi's red eyes. The Narumi form she had taken though was of the one time when I was eleven and I had seen Narumi in a bikini. I clawed at my eyes.

"Don't take that bitch's form. You know I hate Narumi!" I yelled.

"Fine," Kyuubi deadpanned, "try this on for size." Kyuubi morphed once more and it was Mikoto. She of course still had the demon eyes of the Kyuubi. But Kyuubi had changed one certain thing. She had changed what Mikoto was wearing. Rather than the somber clothes Mikoto usually wore, this Mikoto Kyuubi hybrid was stark naked.

I clenched my eyes close, I had never seen Mikoto naked so I wondered how Kyuubi could make her naked. I also had far too much respect to look at the Uchiha woman's nude body like a letch.

This was simply madness. "Why are doing this to me, Kyuubi?!" I mumbled through my hands covering my face.

"What, I thought for sure you would like to look at your pseudo-mother's form. I even went through all the trouble of sifting the memory from the very woman's mind so I could match perfectly down to the... very... last... curve and... fold," the Kyuubi giggled at her own perverseness.

I felt the Kyuubi's fake Mikoto body lean against my back, her bare body making the woman's chest very apparent. I focused only on the fact that I needed sage jutsu to fight Tsunade. "You said you would teach me how to use sage jutsu. Teach me," I demanded.

"Oh, I did didn't I. Well, first of all it's sage mode, not sage jutsu. It's where you take the natural energy of the world and meld it with your own chakra. The toads of Mount Myoboku have their own version of this, highly inefficient of course and most of their practitioners end up turning themselves to stone toads. The fox clan however figured it out eons before the toads and had nearly perfected before they all died out due to the death of your clan. Anyway, to do this, you need to sit down in a Seiza position and become perfectly still. Before you sit down of course, it would be best if you remove your shirt," Kyuubi lectured.

"Why do I need to remove my shirt?" I asked.

"You want to learn don't you?" Was Kyuubi's sly reply.

I cursed inwardly. What happened to the fear I had inflicted into her oh so long ago when she drew me into the seal to talk about me living and dieing. "Fine, but try anything funny and you'll be locked in a thousand chains before you could say Gomen."

I then did as the biju said and knelt in the traditional pose and removed my upper clothes. I felt soft hands slowly fix my sitting position to fix slight mistakes and then the woman got extremely close, her bare breasts brushing against my back.

"Do not move even a thousandth of a millimeter. If you do you will have to start over. Sit perfectly still and imagine nature filling you. Fill nature's power. Let it come to you, do not try to take it," all these words she spoke were said in soft whispers, her bare body still pressed against me.

For five minutes I sat like that, not moving at all. I was lost in the sway of the powerful energy I was feeling, that wasn't from the Kyuubi. It was far more peaceful, far more primal and old and seemed to be even more infinite. I felt myself nearly choking in the energy but didn't try to control it or force it in, I simply let flow within.

Then Kyuubi spoke, "Mix your chakra with the energy. Make sure that every last drop of it melds with the sage energy and once it has, slam the door close on the entering nature energy. If you take even the slightest sliver more than you can meld you will end up losing all of your natural energy you had collected as well as nearly all of your own natural chakra. Attempt this carefully, fully focus, and do not let me be a distraction."

I did as the Kyuubi told me, slowly and carefully melding the energies. With each small sliver mixed I felt more powerful, more energized than I had ever had before. When I somehow felt, for I didn't know I knew until it was over, that I couldn't take anymore natural energy and stopped all of the energy trying to enter me. I don't really know how to explain what I did, I just slammed an invisible gate shut and the energy stopped entering.

"Now slowly stand up, breath carefully and use the least amount of energy you can. If you don't you'll end up using all of this acquired energy on just moving your pinky finger," Kyuubi seemingly blew the words into my skull, her body no longer seeming corporeal as I stood up.

I used the barest amount of energy I could. As soon as I closed my eyes I heard Kyuubi bellow the next words, yet somehow be a whisper at the same time, "Now go and win."

AN: Whew that was a chapter to write. Anyway, I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish this chapter in my next thousand words or so, so I split up the chapter into two parts. You see, my goal for each chapter is about 6,000 words give or take a hundred. So review and tell me what you like, sorry for the cliffhanger.