AN: Alright, another chapter. Nothing to talk about, this sentence is pointless, I like pudding. Pudding is not pointless however.

OH! Wait, there is! I'm going to attempt a chapter entirely in third person. If you like it, I will change the format to incorporate it more.

Akatsuki pairs: Without Itachi, my Akatsuki has different teams and stuff

Pein and Konan

Orochimaru and Zetsu

Hidan and Sasori

Kakuzu and Deidera

Tobi and Kisame.

Naruto made his way down the road, his hands situated in his pockets. It had been about two months since he had gone rogue from Konohagakure and he was bored as fuck. Seriously, at least there he could make emo speeches and stab people there. But in the land of Demons all he had run into so far was a bunch of priests.

Well, the priests and some asshole who kept saying "Jashin" this "Jashin" that while an old hunched over dude said they really needed to move faster. They were going to some sort of meeting or something about something or the other. Boring.

Just as Naruto was about to die of boredom, he felt something stir in his mind. It was the Kyuubi attempting to speak with him again. After Naruto had left the shitty village hidden between the shitty leaves, she had been busting his balls day and night, and not in the good way.

Every other word was 'power' this and 'I'm Kyuubi' and other useless nonsense. Sure, he would've lapped the shit up like a lost puppy back before he had absorbed his other personalities, but with their knowledge, and the admittedly new traits he had received from them, he knew what was what.

Let it never be said the Naruto enjoyed being a lap dog, even if the treats were sweet. Nothing more sweet than crushing the skull of your father, if that's the treat that you wanna eat.

To return to the subject, the Kyuubi had been trying to pierce the wall Naruto had made to stop her. It was now apparent to him that his wall might be broken. Which would suck, because who the fuck likes building walls. Have you seen the prices for mortar and bricks? The shit's not cheap, especially in feudal Japan era mangas!

…...Back in Konohagakure (Said in cheesy 1950s superhero show voice)...

"So, Narumi, I know you have been really busy training to bring back your brother and all but..." Sasuke stated shyly.

"Not now Sasuke, I'm busy! Come back later!" Narumi all but yelled.

"It's One AM, Narumi. How much later can it get," Sasuke groused.

Narumi had the tact to look embarrassed.

"Eh, what is it Sasuke-San?"

"Well... d-d-do you... wannagoonadatewithme?" Sasuke blurted.

"What did you say?" Narumi asked, unable to understand what Sasuke had said due to the speed in which he had protruded sound by vibrating his vocal cords while also using his tongue and lips to form certain sounds in which to form words in the English language, even though the manga and anime is set in Japan-esque world.

"Oh, uh, never mind... I have to water my cat! I mean brush my plants! I mean, ah fuck it! Bye!" Sasuke screeched before running away.

"Someone's a bit weird today, I wonder if he found the mushrooms that Uncle Jiraiya hid in his jacket somewhere. Those mushrooms were pretty tasty. Maybe Uncle Jiraiya has more?!" All training forgotten, Narumi set out to find the perverted Sage and his drugs.

Sasuke on the other hand was staring creepily at a picture of Narumi in an alley while also thinking of various ways to murder Naruto. A productive day really.

…...In the Hokage's office...

"What am I to do Sarutobi-San? Jiraiya is too busy with his network, Tsunade is bat shit insane, and Mikoto is pissed at me? Who else knows Naruto enough to tell me how to help him?" Minato asked.

"Well, I do know someone who could help... but it would require the use of a forbidden jutsu," Sarutobi grumbled softly, his pipe never leaving his lips. " Tell me, Minato-kun, have you ever heard of Edo-Tensei?"

…...In an evil cave of evil...

"So, Leader-Sama, as I was saying, this lazy Jashinist wouldn't stop doing his rituals every thirty seconds, so that's why we're late," Sasori mumbled.

"It's fine, just step up onto your finger so the meeting can begin," Pein glowered.

"WHY do we have to stand on fingers? I mean, chairs could work too," Kisame added.

"Just be silent so the meeting can begin!" Pain commanded.

"Hai."

"Anyway, our informant in the Leaf has informed us that the Kyuubi container has left the village. We need to know where all of the Jinchurikki are, so as of now, all of you are to find and bring me the Kyuubi container. Who ever brings me back the container first will have the choice of which biju they wish to go after regardless of previous assignment," Pein ominously commanded.

"Hai!" Kisame, Tobi, Sasori, Hidan, Orochimaru, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Deidera replied.

…...Back in the Hokage's office...

"Hokage-Sama, it's nice to see you again. How's Naruto-Kun?" Itachi asked.

"Well, Itachi, he's not currently in the village. He is on a... training trip of sorts," Minato replied carefully. It's not his fault that Itachi had such a creepy stare even without his Sharingan activated.

"So, why exactly have you brought me back to life? I had fulfilled my purpose before I died. I had given Naruto the power he would need to kill you."

"You gave him your eyes... so he could kill me?" Minato asked.

"I thought would be apparent, your son was never one for subtlety and I gave him a powerful tool... and latent suggestions via Sharingan hypnosis. But that is besides the point, he wanted to kill you before I had even met him. I just gave a helping hand."

"Well, I need to know how to stop him, and to bring him home. I have used Edo-Tensei to bring you back, so I command you to tell me! Tell me how to end all of this shit!" Minato raved, before suddenly becoming calm once more.

"I literally had him standing in front of me, right after he had killed Hinata Hyuuga. He told about all the stuff happening in his skull. Of multiple personalities, and the Kyuubi trying to use him for her own goals. I...I was tired. I had tried to what little I could to make up for what I had done. But the Genjutsu that had made Kushina and I abandon him, it just made it impossible. So I told him to leave.

What was I supposed to do?" Minato implored

"Excuse me, Hokage-Sama, but what body am I using to be alive right now," Itachi asked.

"Why, Hinata Hyuuga's, of course."

"Did Naruto-Kun tell you why he had killed Hinata?"

"HE did not," was Minato's reply.

"I assume it was for the Mangekyo. I'm afraid if you don't want your son to go blind, he will need to do one of two things. Either replace the eye I gave him with my other eye that I gave him, creating an Eternal Mangekyo. Or, as he probably thinks he needs to do so, take Sasuke Uchiha's eyes."

"Also, Minato," Itachi said, "The person who laid the illusion that ruined your life was..."

An: And that's all folks... for now...