Hellooo People of earth!:)

It's incredible how long my exams and my vacation held me up :O

But FINALLY here's the new chapter! It's very Sam-centric, but I hope you still like it. :) I'll try my best to come up with more Seddie-ish stuff soon!:)

Love! :)

Sam was raging. Her insides felt like a raging sea with gigantic waves of anger crashing down on her. She tried her best to keep it in, she really did.
People would wonder about her, if they knew how she felt, she knew that for sure.
Her mother had died only two weeks previously, had been burried hardly a week ago. It would have been likely that she was angry because of her loss, that it was her way to cope with it. But it wasn't. She was sure about that.
Her friends were doing everything for her and her twin sister, they were carrying them through this hard time - sometimes even literally. She was so lucky to have those people. And she knew she was, she appreciated everything they did for her. That was why she was trying so hard to keep herself under control, to ignore her burning insides and the crashing waves of fury.
But it was hard.
During the funeral she hadn't left her uncle Carmine's and cousin Chaz' side for a single time so she didn't have to deal with her friends. The only one she could bear having around her was Melanie, because Melanie needed her. But there was Chester, Sam could leave her to him when she didn't feel like having her sister around her with her teary eyes and shaking hands.
Uncle Carmine and Chaz were different. They had gotten permission from the prison's Head to attend the funeral of their sister/aunt. Sam knew they had just blackmailed him, but she appreciated the gesture anyways. They had almost crushed her and Melanie in similar bear-hugs and only asked them, if they were okay and told them to not let anything get them down. Ever.
Sam smiled slightly at the memory as she sat on the hill in the park, not far from the graveyard, that she had visited first when the funeral was over. It was weird how well her relatives knew what she needed to hear, when they saw each other hardly every two month for an hour.
The blonde she-devil had thought that it would've been her friends that she saw every day that would get her first. She wasn't really disappointed that Gibby, Spencer and Chelsea hadn't gotten her. She had never expected them to. She wasn't even angry at Carly and Melanie, who were supposed to be her best friend and her freaking twin.
No, she was most disappointed and angry with Brad and... well, Freddie. Those two usually read her like she was the morning newspaper in a matter of seconds. But now, when she needed nothing more but to be read, they didn't do it. Or couldn't. Or heck knew what. Maybe they read her wrong for the first time since... since they first met.
Sam sighed again. She knew it wasn't fair to expect them to understand her 24/7, but she couldn't help it. Usually, they just did.
She didn't need all the pity, the sorry and understanding looks. Ugh, how she hated this understanding. They understood nothing! God damn it! Nothing! She was so angry with them again all of a sudden, that she slammed her fist onto the dirty ground beside her. She didn't need to be understood as a grieving teenager who had lost his parent. She didn't need to be hugged ten times a day from ten different people! She didn't need everything to be done for her so she wouldn't have any stress! No! She wouldn't be crying every five minutes or pour her heart out to all of them every day, like Melanie did and like everybody seemed to be expecting of her. They waited for her to break and she knew it.
But she wouldn't. There was nothing to break into. She had cried her tears the night that the hospital had called. She had cried them into Freddie freaking Benson's chest! And she hated herself for it, because he out of all people seemed to watch her closest. But he didn't understand. He told her he would be the first to be there when she broke down. He had told her that after the funeral when he had come to find her on this particular hill, hidden beneath bushes.
And she had broken in some kind. Against her will she had broken her resolve to stay calm and not take her anger out on her friends. She had blown up on him - like hell she did. Her throat had still been sore the next day from her screaming. She had told him she didn't need him and his pity, his fucking understanding, because he didn't understand anything, that he had always been so proud of reading her like a book, but that he had - obviously - failed in reading her this time, that he had failed in being her best friend. She screamed at him that he had failed worse than Carly or Melanie, that he had failed just as bad as Brad, because they were supposed to be able to tell, but they couldn't. Enventually, she had heaved a breath - she was panting now - and told him to go, because she didn't want to see any of them for some time, that she needed to be able to be like she was, without being judged for it and misunderstood. And he had left.
She had been terribly sorry for yelling at him like that and telling him all this shortly afterwards and texted him her apology only few hours later.
But he had proven that he really couldn't read her, that they weren't them anymore. Because he had texted back that it was okay and that he understood.
Sam sighed. She didn't need any of that. She was a little sad for her mother's death, of course, who wouldn't be. But she was okay with it, after all she had had been prepared to get that hospital call for years. She had cried her tears, now she was almost relieved, because the worrying and the trouble and everything was over. The funeral had been her last step into a new part of her live which would - hopefully - be easier than the first.
What she really needed now was normalcy.
She gritted her teeth in anger and balled her fists. Her insides had clenched at the thought before that and hadn't unclenched yet.
They weren't them anymore. That was maybe what hurt her most. She had obviously fallen in love with the nerdish quarterback, she had been proud that she had fallen for someone that could read her like she read him. That they truly understood each other. But it seemed he couldn't read, couldn't understand her anymore... She hated the nagging feeling in her stomach that was so sickeningly girlish. That feeling that let her fear that they had lost this connection forever, that they could never return it and that it wasn't smart to be in love with him if they had lost what connected them. Sam hated that feeling. Her brain told her that it was stupid and girly-girlish and so drama, but her stomach screamed at her, that she had never been smart anyways and that she might better be starting now, because she was alone and almost eighteen now. She would be an adult in mere months. She would have to figure out what to do after school and start working hard for it.
Sam bit her lip as the chorus of her momentary favourite song rang in her ears.

You will remember me, remember me for centuries.

It was joined at once by Uncle Carmine's words.

Never let anything get you down. Ever.

Sam took a fresh breath and looked down over the graveyard before her. They were right. She wouldn't let her fury drag her down, she would smile over it and act as usual as possible and for once - wait it out. She needed to start acting smart. The blonde narrowed her eyes at the thought. Then she shrugged. She would wait out the Freddie-thing, too. Who was she to not forgive him the one time that he really disappointed her? Maybe the reading would come back? Who knew. She wasn't going to worry about unnecessary things. She was going to figure out what she wanted to do after school. Because people would remember her. She was Sam fucking Puckett!
So Sam fucking Puckett stood up, pulled her earplugs out and set off for the library to research what she wanted to do with her live.
She smiled as she walked down the hill.

Uncle Carmine and Fall Out Boy - an unbeatable combination.