I'm baaaaaack!
More romance, more plot, more drama, and more angst. It's Willowleaf, come on, there's going to be angst. Plus, even the most perfect relationships can't be perfect! ;) Sorry that this chapter is kind of a downer.
I don't own Warriors!
Chapter 5: Beyond the Stars
"A lousy trip," said Mouseclaw, depositing the small vole on the fresh-kill pile. He stretched, and Willowleaf could see how he gritted his teeth from the pain of even moving. She stepped closer to steady him if he needed it.
"You're doing wonderfully," said Willowleaf. "You can't blame yourself for having a bad day. You haven't hunted in at least a moon."
"Still, I'm a warrior, I shouldn't be so out of practice." He yawned. "Look at me. I'm getting sluggish and fat."
"You're not…" chided Willowleaf. "At least you're not sleeping the entire day away."
"I would like to be," said Mouseclaw. He smiled wearily at her. "Thanks for bearing with me."
Willowleaf smiled back up at him, a twinge of guilt in her heart. A little over a moon ago, the last earthquake had struck, and Willowleaf had passed out in order to help the others stop it. Mouseclaw had gotten hurt saving her from falling rocks, so hurt that his broken ribs had pierced his lung. That was a deadly injury, but Willowleaf had given up her spare life to save him. As far as anyone else knew, it was a strange miracle. Mouseclaw just knew that he was grateful to Birdpaw and Jayfeather for keeping him alive. For Willowleaf, it made it harder when he leaned over and promised that he really would have given his life for her.
"Willowleaf!" In part grateful for the distraction, Willowleaf glanced over to see Birdpaw hurrying up to her. "Hi, Mouseclaw. How was your hunting trip?"
"Pitiful," said Mouseclaw. "Willowleaf keeps saying it's great improvement, but that doesn't make it any less pitiful."
"Nothing hurts?" asked Birdpaw.
"Well, everything hurts," said Mouseclaw. "But it's not the type of pain it was before. I'm not going back to bed rest!"
Birdpaw laughed at that, turning to Willowleaf.
"If you have a minute, Lionstar wants to speak with you."
Willowleaf read the polite tone as hiding the real meaning – really, Willowleaf had no choice, did she?
"Go on, oh official one," said Mouseclaw, nudging Willowleaf's shoulder. Willowleaf glanced up at her…whatever he was…and saw a flash of pain in his eyes that she knew wasn't caused from his healing ribs. "I'll be here when you're done being important."
"Hey, Mouseclaw…" said Willowleaf, but Mouseclaw was smiling and waving his tail at her as he padded over to talk to Berrynose and Toadstep.
"He's getting tired of it," said Willowleaf, following Birdpaw towards Lionstar's den. "All my mouse-dung."
"Maybe you'll have to tell him," Birdpaw said. Willowleaf's eyes widened. Could she tell Mouseclaw the truth – all of it, this time? What would he even say?
"Oh, good, you're here." Before Willowleaf could figure out a reply, she was facing Lionstar. Willowleaf sat beside Littlefalcon, accepting her brother's gentle smile as the best greeting she could get from him.
"We're here to discuss RiverClan," said Doveheart. "I'm sure all of you know about the foolish move Ivypool and Mountainstone took a few sunrises ago." Her words were accompanied by a glare. Mountainstone shifted from beside Skysong.
"Willowshine is no longer our ally; she's turning RiverClan against us," said Jayfeather. "Apparently, though, we still have an ally in Rushpaw."
"Y-yes," said Birdpaw. "Rushpaw and I have been sharing dreams lately. Not often, but enough so that he trusts me enough to be wary of what StarClan is saying."
"Rushpaw's word won't be enough to overcome Willowshine's," said Lionstar. "We had best prepare for RiverClan being hostile."
"RiverClan is already hostile, and they're trying to scare ShadowClan out of supporting us," said Ivypool. "That's what we learned from our mission. Mistystar essentially told Oakfur that he was too weak to fight."
"Blackstar won't take kindly to that," said Jayfeather.
"Blackstar's aggressive, but he isn't stupid," said Skysong. "He knows his Clan is suffering, too. He won't risk a war."
"What about Tigerheart?" said Lionstar.
"Tigerheart?" said Mountainstone.
"I have no idea how much he knows," said Doveheart. "He knew about Willowleaf giving her life up for Mouseclaw. He and Flametail are up to something involving WindClan."
"Towards the end of his life, Littlecloud hallucinated," said Jayfeather stiffly. "They may be using some of what he said as an argument to convince Kestrelflight."
"I thought ShadowClan was on our side," said Willowleaf, turning to the older warriors. "WindClan and RiverClan are being hostile to us, but Blackstar refused an alliance with Mistystar, right? That's the point of Mistystar threatening him?"
"ShadowClan may or may not be on our side," said Lionstar. "Either way, I don't think they're an ally to RiverClan."
"Does that mean Tigerheart is trying to help us or not?" said Willowleaf.
"I'm going to go with a strong not," said Ivypool, ignoring that Doveheart had gotten very quiet. "He'll only speak to Doveheart, and when he does, he wants to be cryptic about what he knows. There's no way I'll rely on him."
"He warned me about a war, and now there is one," said Doveheart. "He could be useful."
"Maybe someone else should try and use him," said Birdpaw. "If he's only talking to Doveheart, he can't really want to help us. If we can get him and Flametail to tell the truth to someone else, then…"
"We can trust them," agreed Jayfeather. "Good thinking, Birdpaw."
"Maybe I can help with ShadowClan?" suggested Skysong. "Well, I was thinking, since Littlefalcon and Doveheart are doing deputy training, Mountainstone and Ivypool are on probation, and Willowleaf is busy helping Mouseclaw, there's nothing else for me to do, is there?" Willowleaf winced at the barb in her voice.
"I want to be helpful," said Skysong at their silence.
"That's a good idea," said Lionstar. "Make sure you check with me before you decide to do anything foolish."
"Another issue," said Ivypool. "We have to figure out how to stop the barrier from dissipating."
"We need to ask for help," said Mountainstone. "While we're just sitting around thinking of ideas, that barrier is going down."
"Maybe Fountain will be able to help," said Doveheart. "He was the one who spoke to Rushpaw, so he's getting involved again."
Willowleaf hesitated. Fountain? She remembered the wolf and the way he had called to her. Had he been a resource all along that the others had used?
"We should seek him out," said Jayfeather. "He'll be a much more reliable source of information than StarClan."
"The wolf?" said Skysong, making Willowleaf wonder if her sister had read her mind. "Are we sure the wolf is our ally?"
"It seems that way," said Lionstar. "His information has been reliable."
"We should go right away," said Doveheart. "I'll be able to find him."
"I want to go, too," said Willowleaf. She blinked, surprised at her own voice. She hadn't even come to the conclusion of wanting to go, but it then made sense. She needed to go, for her own closure if nothing else.
"You should bring someone else," said Lionstar, narrowing his eyes in concern. Willowleaf already had a choice in her mind, but she didn't dare say it aloud.
"Jayfeather, would Mouseclaw be cleared to go?" said Doveheart. Willowleaf, half-amazed at the way her guide could figure her out so well, held her breath as she waited for Jayfeather's response.
"I suppose that would be a good idea, as he has met Fountain," said Jayfeather. "How did your hunting patrol go earlier, Willowleaf?"
"Fine," said Willowleaf. "I mean, Mouseclaw wasn't happy with it, because he lost a mouse, but he wasn't hurt or anything."
"It may be a bad idea to have Mouseclaw on display as healed," said Ivypool. "That's something Willowshine and the others are attacking."
"They'll attack it either way," said Birdpaw. "The medicine cats are scared by this recovery, and they're not going to let it go easily."
"Very well, I won't object," said Lionstar.
"It does make sense, as Mouseclaw and Fountain have met before, and we know Mouseclaw won't ask too many questions," said Doveheart.
"Alright, go ahead," said Jayfeather. "Be careful."
"We will be!" said Willowleaf a little louder than was necessary.
"Go right away," said Lionstar. "It shouldn't take long."
"We should be back by tomorrow," said Doveheart. Willowleaf let the deputy pass before following her, a giddy skip in her step. Doveheart cast a look over her shoulder as they exited.
"I guess you're excited about this, then?" she said.
"He'll be so happy to be taken seriously," said Willowleaf. Doveheart nodded, but for a fleeting second, Willowleaf wondered if there was something Doveheart wasn't saying – something about why Mouseclaw, and why Willowleaf, and what was really going on.
XXX
"So, what are we asking the creepy wolf again?" said Mouseclaw a touch nervously as they hiked the last hill between them and Fountain's usual hunting grounds.
"I'm sorry, it's hard to explain," said Willowleaf.
"Would you try?" said Mouseclaw. Willowleaf blinked at him. "I'm sorry, but my sides hurt just from running through the forests, and you've decided to drag me on some official mission. I think I should know why."
"Mouseclaw…" said Willowleaf. She turned her eyes to the ground, not really knowing what to say.
"Hey, you two!" said Doveheart. She stood up the hill a ways, and glared down at them. Grateful for the distraction, Willowleaf dropped the conversation and followed, trying her best to ignore the frustration radiating from Mouseclaw.
"What's the matter?" said Willowleaf.
"There are cats nearby," said Doveheart. "Not WindClan." She glanced at Willowleaf, who took a deep breath.
"Willowleaf?" said Mouseclaw. "Willowleaf, these must be…"
"I can't find Fountain, either," said Doveheart. She gave the two a significant look. "We may need their help."
"We're beside you, Willowleaf," said Mouseclaw, taking a step closer so his pelt brushed hers. Willowleaf let herself stay there until the heat in his fur threatened to stifle her.
"Alright," she said. "I'm fine."
Doveheart nodded, and they moved past the Moon-tree and into the trees beyond. Willowleaf remembered walking here, what must have been moons ago, tripping and falling, her tears clinging as icicles on her chin. Now she walked with no tears, and on steady paws, but she could see her breath fogging in front of her. That wasn't supposed to happen, not in Greenleaf. Willowleaf focused on thinking about ThunderClan, and about Mouseclaw and Doveheart – not the wide-eyed screams echoing through her memories.
The last time she was here, the rogues had taken her into their little family, and three moons later, she had killed four of them and become a resident demon. Then Doveheart had come for her.
"Hey," said Mouseclaw, bending close to her and shivering at the chill in the air as he got near her. "Hey, it's okay. You're not at fault. You're fine."
I'm not at fault. I'm fine.
Except they would meet Fountain soon, and Fountain knew very well that those happy whispers were untrue. Last time she had spoken to the wolf, he had told her of the shadow dust infecting StarClan warriors, and how the shadows had to stop. He had promised her that she had a choice to make, one that could save or destroy them. He had called her Willowpaw, not a destroyer, but his predictions…
"Show yourselves," said Doveheart suddenly. "We hear you."
There was a moment, and Willowleaf was jerked awake by the sound of rustling bushes. A growl began in the back of Mouseclaw's throat.
"Please, do not hurt us." Willowleaf blinked as she recognized the young black tom. He had grown since she had last seen him.
"Ocean?" she said.
"Hello, Willowpaw," said Ocean warily. Willowleaf didn't bother correcting him. The use of the name was only a formality – she could hear in-between his words what he really meant…demon…murderer…monster.
"What do you want?" said Doveheart.
"What do you want?" said Ocean. "Cats like you do not wander into our woods."
"We're looking for the white wolf Fountain that roams these lands," said Doveheart cautiously. "We mean you no harm."
"What do you want with the prophet?" A second cat, a pretty grey she-cat appeared, her eyes sparkling. "Why have you brought the demon with you?"
"Creek…" began Willowleaf, but Creek flinched away.
"Don't call her that," said Mouseclaw, and he stepped forward, towards the two cats, hackles raised. "Don't call her anything."
"She killed my best friend," said Creek without flinching. "I'll call her what I like."
Mouseclaw turned around, freezing in place as if Willowleaf had cast a spell upon him. His blue eyes narrowed in wild confusion.
"She hasn't told you?" said Ocean savagely. "She's a monster. A murderer!"
"Enough of this," said Doveheart as Mouseclaw and Willowleaf stared at one another. Willowleaf wanted to badly to drop his eyes or to take him back with her through time and set him in place, back when she had done all these things. To make him see. How could she possibly explain to him what she had done?
"Your he-wolf has fled these lands," said Creek. "He left me with a message to give to cats who go looking for him – he has gone towards where the sun rises, where he can escape the words of Old StarClan. Does it mean anything to you?"
"Old StarClan?" Momentarily distracted, Mouseclaw glanced back at Creek.
"Yes," said Doveheart wearily. "Yes, it does mean something to me. Thank you."
"You'll be going now, yes?" said Ocean.
"As soon as possible," said Doveheart. She flicked her tail at them. "Mouseclaw, Willowleaf. Let's go."
They settled at the base of the Moon-tree, before then saying nothing. Upon arriving, Doveheart took a seat and sighed.
"We'll have to go track him down," she said. "This journey will take longer than just one day."
"Old StarClan?" said Mouseclaw, turning to look at Doveheart. "A murderer?" He stared at Willowleaf as if she had suddenly sprouted another head. "So, what you're telling me is that everyone – Sorreltail and Molewhisker, RiverClan and ShadowClan – they're all right?"
"What do you mean, Mouseclaw?" said Doveheart suddenly, wearily. "Do you mean to tell me you're surprised your Clan leaders have been hiding something from you? Maybe, why Willowleaf came back? Why she ran off to find Fountain? Why she passed out in the earthquakes and why you survived saving her?" She huffed, lashing her tail. "I'm going to sit at the border and pass the message on that we're going after Fountain."
"Doveheart," said Willowleaf desperately, but the deputy was already padding down the hill, waving her tail as the only promise of her return. When it was just her and Mouseclaw left, Willowleaf tucked her tail around her paws and stared at it – the white tail tip brushing the white paws. White, the constant marker of the ice powers that had started this mess. She wanted Mouseclaw, but could she ever really have him? How could he even begin to trust her?
She had gotten good at masking her sobs, so now her tears fell noiseless too the ground. She wasn't so upset they froze into icicles; she was just…so tired, so out of hope that the water came instead of the ice.
"Are you ever going to tell me the truth?" Mouseclaw's voice was the same way – tired, hopeless. Willowleaf shrugged. "A murderer, Willowleaf?" She gave a shaky laugh, unsure what to say on that front. "That's not right."
"I'm not denying it, am I?" She laughed out the words.
"Willowleaf…" Suddenly, his tail was propping her chin up, so that she had to look into his intense-blue eyes. "Sometimes I don't…know…"
"Who I am?" whispered Willowleaf. She could see that the accusation had him pinned. "You've never known."
"I thought I did," said Mouseclaw. "I thought you were my apprentice, and you were my best friend. I thought you were thoughtful and kind and warm."
The last word made her laugh so hard he took a step back.
"I've never been warm," she said. "Right down where it matters, I'm as cold as it gets."
"But you need someone to help you," said Mouseclaw. "I thought…that was true. I thought you needed me. Do you?"
"Yes," said Willowleaf. She sighed. "I do."
"Then trust me."
"Trust me, for now, please?" Her heart was heavy. She hated seeing him back away, seeing him look to the side as if the decision was difficult. He would leave her, too, even though he had promised that he wouldn't. Willowleaf felt her tears returning as she struggled with the urge to reach out and scream – I gave my life for yours! I love you!
"I trust you," said Mouseclaw at last. "I can't stop trusting you, even though…"
He didn't need to finish. The look in his eyes said enough.
Even though you don't know who I am?
Willowleaf could nearly see herself stepping forward and pressing her muzzle to his and whispering the words she had on her mind.
Mouseclaw, you do know me. I'm your Willowleaf! We laugh a lot, and we hunt together, and you taught me to be strong. We have fun, and we don't worry about anything. I'm worrisome and fragile and difficult, but I love you. I love you. I love you.
She knew that the Willowleaf that laughed and didn't worry was still sleeping in a bed in ThunderClan, warm and safe, where she didn't need to think about anything but Mouseclaw's recovery. He had recovered, though, and here they were, beneath StarClan's great symbolic tree.
Willowleaf wondered what "recovery" really meant, if she was ripping his chest open all over again.
Yeah, I know that Mouseclaw's chest didn't actually get ripped open the first time. Shhhhh.
So, we're off to talk to Fountain and find out how to save the Clans! It's always about saving the Clans, isn't it? Even if RiverClan is evil now, and WindClan isn't far behind, and ShadowClan is "too weak" + has sketchy Tigerheart causing mischief.
We'll see more of Fountain soon, but FIRST, let's go back to the Clans and talk about Mountainstone! Next chapter will be around soon.
Thanks for reading everyone, and if you liked it, don't forget to review/favorite/follow!
~Elsi