Sorry for the wait. I've decided to make these one shots longer, if I can. Here's what's been earning my brain for the past couple of weeks.
...
Harry sat at the window in his room, waiting, once again for summer to come to an end. He was once again trapped down in the hellhole that Dumbledore called his home, and was questioning the judgement of the entire Order who sent him here. As soon as he was offered a home- from a man who had been suspected of killing his parents not five minutes before- he accepted, and they didn't think to ask why. They didn't think to look beyond their rosy conceptions of the life of the Chosen One. Even Sirius didn't think to ask about the Dursleys. Harry supposed that it was because he didn't really understand the concept of proper treatment of children from his own childhood, and didn't hold it against him. It did no good to revile the dead, after all. That train of thought send him spiraling back down into depression, so he consciously started thinking of something else.
I wonder how Hermione's doing...
...
In the middle of a desert, a large wooden homestead stood. It had a haphazard look to it, and looked beaten by the sun and stand, but it was still sturdy. The only person for miles, who happened to be the inhabitant of the house, sat on the porch and watched the cattle grazing in the scrublands. His gaze was attracted to a speck in the distance. It got closer and closer until he was able to make out that it was an... Owl?
"Now you don't see one of those often..." He murmured. He turned to his familiar, a somewhat argumentative kookaburra named Echo who he had adopted several years ago.
"Go see what it wants."
Echo took off in a squall of chattering and circled the owl a few times. He escorted the owl back to the building and perched on the railing while the owl flew up to him and offered him a scroll. He opened, noting absently that it was from Gringotts.
Strange. Gringotts didn't operate outside of Europe. And he was definitely outside of Europe.
After reading the note, he snapped his head back up and looked at the owl scrutinizingly. He rubbed his chin and thought, then scribbled a few words on the back with a grimy pencil he retrieved from his pocket. After giving the letter back to the owl, and he watched it disappear and then turned to his familiar.
"Come on, Echo. We need to be civilized for the next week, so you need a bath. So do I, probably."
...
Harry looked at the man at the door in confusion. Bill Weasley stared right back.
"Are you going to let me in, Harry?" He asked.
"You know how my relatives feel about wizards." He replied.
"Official Gringotts business. I need to take you with me for the afternoon."
"My aunt won't let me."
"If she doesn't let you, she is in danger of losing her guardianship over you, for meddling in the affairs of an Ancient and Noble house."
"What House?"
"The will reading of Sirius Black. With multiple sightings of Peter Pettigrew this year, he has been declared innocent. I repeat, please come with me, or your family forfeits guardianship." "They'd love that." Bill sighed. The Weasleys knew how the Dursleys thought of Harry, and hated that they couldn't take him away. He gave a half smile- well, now he could.
"I, as a employee if Grungotts bank, temporarily assume guardianship over one Harry James Potter to bring him to the Will Reading of the heir of an Ancient and Noble house. So it be. Come on, Harry."
...
The room was dark, lit only by lamps that shone a sickly shade of green. There was a round table in the center, and at the table sat three goblins, Bill, Harry, and a man with a bird Harry had never seen before. It occasionally chattered to him, and he would answer back as if it has spoken words.
"All rise for the honorable Ironspear, legal matters associate." A goblin proclaimed. Another goblin, in holy formal armor, entered the room and sat down.
"The Will of Sirius Orion Black: I, Sirius Orion Black, being sound of body if not in mind, give everything in my vaults to Harry. However, Grimmauld Place and all Black family properties are to be given to my distant cousin, Eridamos Black. Bugger you too, buddy. I also petition for Harry Potter to be placed in the custody of Eridamos, since he actually likes magical children. Over and out."
The man, Eridamos apparently, straightened and made a rude gesture at the paper. He turned to Harry and sighed.
"I'm guessing you're the kid that Siri talked about so much?" He spoke, with an odd accent.
"Yes."
"Well, then, where would you like to go? With your relatives, or with me?"
"You, sir." Eridamos raised his eyebrows and looked troubled before nodding.
"Come, then. We need to get your things."
...
Later, after a sort conversation with the Dursleys who were all too happy to hand Harry's worldly goods over to them and send them on their way, Eridamos looked toward Harry.
"Would you like to stay in England, or come to Australia. I live there, in a rather remote place; I understand if you want to stay here."
"Will I still come to Hogwarts?"
"Probably."
"Then I don't really care."
"Australia it is!"
...
"Welcome to Kookaburra Outpost, so named after my friend Echo here. It's better than it looks, a nice house out here is a tad suspicious. Put your stuff in the room upstairs and come back down, I have some stuff I need to tell you so you don't die before school."
"Like what?"
"Unlike Britian, which civilized itself centuries ago, Australian magical creatures are ancient, strange, lovely, and homicidal half the time."
"... Oh."
"Oh, indeed. Crash course: the only critters that you'll see nearby are Bunyips, because I can't keep them out, and Rain, who's a friend of mine. He has rainbow hair.
"Rain's by brother in all but blood, he won't hurt you; It's the Bunyips you need to worry about; they're large, black, and hang around waterholes to try and drown the unwary. They're spirits of the dead that were too bitter to pass on. You see any, go in the house."
"If you say so, Eridamos."
"Call me Eri. Eridamos is much to stuffy."
...
"Hello the house!" A man called to the homestead.
He walked up to he porch and hollered, "It's Rain, don't attack me!"
Harry, who had been reading his schoolbooks in the front room, went to the door and peeked out. The man was in his late teens, but he was surely not a boy, despite his rainbow hair; he was a man, you could see it in his eyes. His eyes were much too old to be a boy's, and spoke of the desert and time long past. Eri walked up to the door, let him in, hugged him, and spun him around to face Harry.
"Rain, this is Harry, my... Well, let's call him my cousin for ease."
"Hello, Harry! I'm your cousin's adopted brother, Rain."
"Adopted brother?"
"Eh, it involves Bunyips and a lineage from the prison colony." Rain flipped his hand casually.
"Prison colony?" Harry had to ask. Eri cut in, with a lecture he seemed to have been preparing.
"Harry, you know the Blacks. Did you thank they would come here by choice? No, they were sent here as a punishment. They were prisoners, less than commoners. After two generations, they acted like everyone else. Fast forward a hundred years and you get me, last of the Australian Blacks. Australian Blacks are a breed apart; we hardly have any nobility at all. As such, European Blacks don't like to acknowledge our existence. We got along better with the American Blacks before they intermarried into the local populace enough that we lost track of them."
"Wow."
"Wow indeed. My mother couldn't bear children after me, so I was a bit lonely when I was young. I explored around a lot, almost got caught by Bunyips a couple times." Rain cut in and took up the explanation.
"Mister Explorer here was in the middle of a swamp with no supervision. I was also in the swamp, but I have not needed supervision for a while. I found him ready to slip under the water. I decided that the Bunyips needed a lesson about taking children, again. They only learn for about five years each time." Rain looked like he was building up a head of steam on his impromptu speech, but Eri cut in, with the ease of years of practice.
"He killed the Bunyips, gave me a scolding, and brought me home. And never really left."
"Hey, I'd been bored for years! You were interesting."
"You killed something?!" Harry backed away quickly. He shouldn't have trusted so quickly. Especially a Black.
"Hey, get back here! I won't hurt you, I promise!" Eri looked panicked. So did Rain.
"Murderer! Get away from me!"
"Kid! I don't kill people!"
"You said you killed them! You killed souls!" Harry backed up against a wall, wishing he had his wand. He hadn't retrieved it from his things yet.
"Kid, I only hurt or kill for food or to protect myself and others. It's the law of the wild." Rain tried to calm him, like he would a wild animal. Echo the kookaburra flew to land on his shoulder and spoke, in a strange, mocking voice.
"Not murderer. Protector." Harry shook the bird off and tried to run, but Eri grabbed him before he got very far.
"Kid. A magical guardian is guilty of breaking a binding magical oath if they ever hurt their child. I couldn't hurt you even if I wanted to."
Rain stayed further away, but he kept his hands in sight and his voice low.
"I'm his brother. His oath applies to me as well, since I am secondary guardian."
"But killing is evil. Only Death Eaters kill."
"In England, maybe. I kill for food, to feed myself and my friends, and to protect myself and my friends from evil. From what I hear, those Death Eaters kill for fun, and that is an abomination to the Earth, the Sky, and their ancestors." Eri raised his eyebrow.
"Rain, I'm fairly certain they kill because of their ancestors."
"Then they have Bunyips for ancestors. Evil spirits." Harry looked between them, confused. They didn't sound evil.
"But the Headmaster and the Order don't kill." Rain and Eri exchanged grimaces. Eri spoke.
"Headmaster Dumbledore believes in too many chances. He believes in redemption, and will not see that it costs lives."
"What?" Harry didn't understand. Rain cut in again.
"Let's put it this way. Say we have a Death Eater. Let's call him Alvin. He encounters Auror Smith in a raid, who stuns him. He goes to Azkaban, and breaks out within the month, if he even gets there. He goes on another raid, and kills more people until he is caught again. It's a vicious cycle. However, consider a Death Eater, name is... George, who goes on the same raid but encounters Auror Jones, who kills him. He cannot hurt anyone else." Harry nodded slowly.
"Okay." Rain continued.
"We will teach you to defend yourself, how you do is at your discretion."
"I won't kill."
"I respect that, you've seen too much death already. Tomorrow, we start your training."
...
Much later
Harry stood to face Voldemort. What no one noticed was the charm he had activated not a minute before, calling for aid. He'd kept it beneath his shirt, for such a thing was uncommon in Britian. The charm was attached to a clay pendant, painted with colorful dots. It called for aid from a certain serpent and his brother.
A rumble filled the air. In the distance, a speck appeared; as it got closer, it solidified into a mass of color. Eridamos appeared beside Harry and turned to him.
"He wanted to make an entrance." He said dryly. There really was no mistaking who the "he" referred to, as the mass of color resolved itself into a snake the size of the Hogwarts Express.
Voldemort seemed confused, but stepped forward nonetheless. The snake raised itself up to look down upon the Dark Lord.
"Noble serpent, have you come to aid my cause?" The serpent looked enormously offended, if a serpent can look offended, and looked at Voldemort as if he was a small vole which ran out into his path.
"No. You are an abomination to a creator such as myself. I have come to hinder your cause as much as possible. First, you definitely need to die." And the creature bend down and bit Voldemort, delicately. Voldemort screamed and died. A black smoke rose out of his corpse, as well as Nagini and Harry's scar. The serpent turned and looked at the Death Eaters.
"Who's next?" He rumbled. Some put up a resistance, and suffered the same fate as their master. The majority surrendered.
The serpent then turned to Eri and shrank down to a familiar man with rainbow hair.
"We should come to England more often! I haven't had that much fun since the Great Emu War!" Grinned Rain.
"I don't think we'll be very welcome for a while, though." Eri replied dryly. Sure enough, the Order of the Phoenix was looking at Rain in horror. Rain laughed.
"Oh well. See you at the end of the school year, Harry!" And both men were gone. Harry stared at the spot where they had been standing.
"Thanks, I guess. Though you owe me for making me explain." He said dryly. Ron hurried over.
"Harry, mate! What was that?!"
"Well, that was my legal guardian and his brother. You understand why I wasn't too afraid of forgoing the protection of the blood wards when the Headmaster brought them up earlier this year..."
...
notes:
Eridamos is a constellation from the Southern Hemisphere. I though the Blacks might continue the celestial names tradition with different celestial bodies.
Australia was a prison colony after America declared independence and Britian had nowhere to send prisoners. Since the Blacks were renowned troublemakers, I imagine that at least one ended up there at some point.
If I'm remembering the mythology wrong, I'm sorry.
And doesn't every author have to write at least one fic about Sirius's will?