LONG A/N! PLEASE READ! INFO ON FUTURE UPDATES!
Wow, guys, I'm so sorry about the wait for this chapter. I feel especially horrible because within the past two weeks or so, I have received four pieces of fan art for this piece and have been truly humbled. Sucker Punch's new cover art is by jungie14295 on Tumblr, who not only did this work, but one of Elsa that's similar, and another of Anna. Seriously, jungie, I am truly, truly flattered.
Then there's asksillysisters, also on Tumblr, who made a hilarious gif of Anna getting her ass handed to her by Elsa. XD
But anyway, why I was late updating. You all know I have school. Well, not only that, but I am graduating from university in May and therefore my workload is only increasing as the month nears. So, updates may be sporadic because of that. Next, last week was my Spring Break—yes, I know it's still actually winter—and I was out of town. Lastly, if you read A Never Ending Note, you will also know I suffer from depression. Well, it suddenly decided to return with a punch to the gut, and I honestly haven't felt like writing much lately at all. Seriously, it's amazing I was any fun on our trip last week. All I've wanted to do lately is sleep and eat…
So yeah, school and depression… Not a good mix. Anyways, hopefully I'll be on a new medication soon and we won't hear from my depression for a long while. That leaves school, and, hopefully after May—despite hopefully getting a full-time job—updates will become weekly if not faster.
Seriously guys, we have a long way to go, and I intend to finish Sucker Punch no matter how long it takes. Hope you all will continue to stick with me for the duration and I can't thank you enough for the support I've received so far. :)
Okay, long A/N over. I'll let you read on in peace. But first…
FROZEN FEVER COMES OUT FRIDAY! I CAN'T WAIT!
Chapter Sixteen: Round Two
When I wake up the next morning with an arm draped across my stomach, I actually don't freak out. Last night is still beautifully engraved in my mind and so the weight I feel can only be one thing—or one person.
Turning my head slightly, I really do have to do everything in my power to keep from squealing.
Elsa Arendelle—beautiful, perfect Elsa Arendelle—is curled up against me, nose pressed into my chest, arm drawing me close to her, and small smile present as she still slumbers away.
Too. Fucking. Cute.
When I can't feel my own left arm, I search for it and discover Elsa probably spent the better part of the night sleeping on top of it. Wiggling my fingers, I see them pop up behind Elsa and I smile, not being to help resting them against her as I pull her closer to me. She hums at the pressure and snuggles even nearer if that's possible. I'm blushing bright red by this point, but have no intention of waking her up. I'm on cloud nine here.
Unfortunately, Elsa's alarm just has to go off at that point, and she's rolling over and off of me before I can tell her to let it ring; I just want to cuddle more.
"'Morning," she mumbles with a yawn, turning back to face me.
"Hi," I reply, trying not to look as her NYU shirt slips off her shoulder slightly.
Not to mention the fact that she hadn't worn her brace to bed last night, and so I'm doing everything in my power to keep my eyes off her stump at the same time.
"Did you sleep okay?" she asks, now looking at me with a smile. Chuckling, she adds, "Although with that bed-head, I'm going to assume the answer is yes."
My eyes pop open and my hands scramble to my head as I hop from the bed. Shit! How ridiculous do I look?
I hear Elsa laughing behind me as she watches me try to tame my wild mane before a mirror, and despite my burning embarrassment, I can't keep the smile off my face. After managing to get my hair somewhat under control, I spin back around.
Immediately upon seeing Elsa sitting up, shy smile on her face as she giggles behind her hand, everything hits me.
I woke up next to Elsa. We shared a bed. Her bed. We slept together; and while we might not have "done anything," I find that doesn't even matter. Elsa could probably get anyone she wants, and last night she basically had to beg me and then drag me to her room. Me.
Now, the girl of my dreams is staring at me with a small blush of her own, and I'm doing everything I can to not snap and tackle her back to the sheets and kiss the life out of her.
Instead, I stiffly walk back to the bed before lowering myself back down to it.
"It doesn't look bad," Elsa says, and I have to actually think about what she's referring to.
Oh yeah, my hair.
"I think it looks cute."
My cheeks instantly flush at that and, with an embarrassed groan, I roll over so my face is in the pillow.
Elsa just giggles once more. Damn it, she's enjoying this too much. Peeking over to her from the pillow though, I realize I don't have anything to use against her. The girl looks perfect just minutes after waking up. How in the world does one manage that?
"Shut up," is the pathetic grumble I shoot her instead.
She lets out a little snort at my mumbled retort before I feel the bed shift under me, signaling Elsa leaving its comfy confines. I choose to instead continue laying where I am even though my face isn't burning from embarrassment anymore. Did I mention how comfy this bed was?
It's only Elsa's gentle, soft—nervous?—voice that finally gets me to roll over and look at her, finding her standing at the bed's foot. She's absently rubbing the stump of her arm while she gazes at the floor with a far off look in her eyes, those perfect teeth showing themselves as they worry a supple lip between them.
I go over the previous description and internally roll my eyes. Damn, I really do have it bad for this girl. Supple lip? When have I ever described anything as supple? Do I even know what that word means? Did I use that right?
Anyway, off topic; back to the goddess.
"Anna?" she asks again when I take forever to reply—because, like any normal person, I was talking to myself in my head and griping about my word choice.
That was sarcasm, by the way.
"Yeah?" I answer quickly this time, not letting my still-sleep-ridden mind to wander any more.
Elsa refuses to look at me when she says, "I want you to meet my parents," in a small whisper.
Oh, I think before it hits me like a Mack truck.
Oh.
Sitting up, I crawl down to where Elsa's standing, taking her hand in mind. That gets her to finally look at me, and I smile. Something similar flashes across her face before it's replaced by a look of uncertainty.
"Really?" I ask gently. "This is a big step, Elsa, and while I'd be happy to accompany you and am flattered to have the pleasure, I want to be sure you're ready for this."
She nods, bringing my hand up to her lips and kissing it softly. Another blush automatically lights up my face.
"I'm ready, Anna," she tells me, and I note the confidence present, even if fear and despair are still doing their best to suppress it. "They… They really would have loved you, I know it."
My smile grows. "Thanks, Elsa."
We get ready in silence. I want to talk, to reassure Elsa in some kind of way that everything's going to be okay, but unfortunately, I can't really back that up with anything but wanting to be kind and cheer her up. Is she rushing things? I mean, going to visit your parents' graves alone is one thing, but bringing someone along? The person you just shared a bed with who happens to be falling in love with you?
Shit, I knew these kinds of questions were coming, but I never really expected them to be this hard to answer. Or to come this fast.
But, I keep telling myself, if Elsa is truly ready, then who am I to stop her, right?
I finish changing in the bathroom to find Elsa in her bedroom and adjusting her brace in the mirror. She sees me enter and flashes me a small smile. I return one instinctively before I come up behind her.
"When… When was the last time you visited them?" I'm asking before I know it.
Elsa's eyes cloud over, and I want to punch myself in the face. You don't just ask someone that. Gods, I'm an idiot.
Elsa surprises me, however, when she actually answers.
"Honestly, not since a month after I left the hospital," she mutters, completely ashamed.
Yet, I can hardly blame her.
"I didn't mean to stay away," she's explaining. "Every time I went to visit, I'd just…stop in front of the cemetery's entrance and could never go any further."
"Were you close with them?" I ask next, figuring I'll know if I cross any lines.
"Incredibly," she responds with a nod. "My father particularly, though I don't want to take anything away from my mom. I loved them both. They were both very supportive of me boxing, and couldn't have been happier and proud the first time I went to the Olympics. I think they both cried when I came home with the silver."
She's smiling as she recounts the memories, yet a single tear still escapes and rolls down her cheek. I reach to stop it, but she stops my hand, acting to wipe it away instead. She meets my eyes with a grateful smile though, which I again return heartedly.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Elsa?" I can't help but ask again. "When I said I'd help you yesterday, I didn't mean we had to jump right into it."
"I know," she tells me with a wet chuckle. "But I'm ready; honest, Anna. I've been living like this for fourteen months, it's time I start this journey, and I believe this to be the first step. I want to do this. Today; with you."
I swallow a knot in my throat as I nod.
"Okay."
XxXxX
We take a subway to Brooklyn and are standing before the gates of the Green-Wood Cemetery before we know it. We come to a stop before entering, and Elsa grasps my hand. I think to myself this must be how far she's ever gotten before turning around. I find no shame in that though. I can't imagine visiting my parents' graves. Hell, I'm about to tear up just imagining the prospect.
"Okay," Elsa breathes.
I tighten my grip on her hand for a kind of silent reassurance and semblance of encouragement before Elsa takes a step forward and we walk through the entrance.
The cemetery is beautiful, and you can see Manhattan right across the Hudson. Across the bay, you can also see Jersey City, and the cemetery itself almost sits right on the water. Despite not having been here in fourteen months, Elsa leads me through the maze of headstones and graves like a pro. We walk to the furthest point north, downtown Manhattan looming even closer.
"Here," Elsa exclaims, dropping my hand as she folds her arms across her stomach.
I look down at our feet to see two headstones side-by-side, the sunlight reflecting off the charcoal marble and making it shine.
Adgar Arendelle is inscribed on one; Idunn Arendelle carved on its twin.
Elsa reaches for my hand again and I take it before I step back slightly, trying to give her some notion of privacy without leaving her completely.
"Hi, mama," she whispers brokenly. "Daddy."
Two tears escape me before I can stop them, and I swallow the burning in my throat as I glare at the ground. I can't cry. These aren't even my parents, and I need to be strong for Elsa here.
"This is Anna," she says, pulling me back forward slightly. I find it's good manners to look back up at the graves as if they were there before me as Elsa continues. "She's a boxer like me. I…wanted you all to meet her because she's helping me get back on my feet. I know it's what you both would have wanted and I'm sorry it's taken me so long, but…"
She looks over her shoulder at me, and I smile, eyes burning, nodding to signal she should continue.
"Anna's helping," she manages to finish. "I'm stronger with her, mama, daddy; I'm healing."
She lets go of my hand long enough to place the flowers we bought on the way in a vase between the two graves before she has ahold of it once again. A smile slides onto my face, though it is a somber one. The flowers are half orchids and half sunflowers, Elsa's father's and mother's favorite flowers respectively.
"You're doing great," I whisper to her.
I hear her laugh softly at my words as well as she clutches my hand a bit more to show she heard me. She stands still for a while then, and a gentle breeze blows through the site. Elsa's braid is picked up by it and swirls behind her before landing on her opposite shoulder. My twin braids are just blown about haphazardly and I wish I had as much control over my hair as Elsa seems to. But complaining about my hair in a cemetery is kind of weird, so I put a stop to the thoughts and just fix them back over my shoulder once the wind dies down.
"Elsa?" I inquire after another moment of silence passes by. "Do you…want me to give you some space?"
I step up next to her as she nods her head in the affirmative. I mirror her nod and carefully extract my hand from hers.
"I'll be right over by the tree, okay?"
Another silent nod is my answer. I also take my leave in silence and trek over to a cherry blossom tree I had scouted on our walk over. My eyes scan each and every grave I pass, my silent respects going out to those buried despite me not knowing anything about them. Upon reaching the tree, I lean against its trunk and look back to Elsa, who has now sunk to her knees before her parents' graves.
I can see her mouth moving, but her voice doesn't reach me. As she's talking though, she glances my way once to see me looking back at her and a blush warms her face upon meeting my gaze. Averting her attention back in front of her, I see her bite her lip as she continues addressing her parents. I let a subtle grin be cast across my face.
She's talking about me again.
I strain to hear what's she saying; curiosity winning out over the aspect of privacy.
I don't get much, but what I do ignites a blush of my own across my face. I even feel it reach my ears.
"…in love with her…"
She has to mean me, right? That's not just me being blindingly optimistic again, is it? I mean, who else could she be talking about? She said herself that I was the first person she's interacted with, let alone talked to in the past fourteen months!
My stomach clenches at the idea.
Elsa might be in love with me; or at least falling for me.
And I already know for certain I'm in love with her.
Holy shit.
How do I address this? Should I not say anything and let things run their course as if I hadn't overheard her in the first place? Do I make a move of my own now that I know she feels the same? Do I let her make the first move? Will she, given everything else that has happened and is about to transpire in her life?
Damn, here come the questions again. I cast a glance up at the sky. Okay, God; I know I've doubted you before, but if you're really up there, I could go for some advice right about now. I'm a freaking eighteen year old kid; I've no idea how to maturely enter into a relationship without letting my hormones get the best of me. But I can't fuck this up. Damn it, I love this girl; I really do. I'm not going to mess this amazing opportunity up just because the entirety of my being wants to kiss the life out of her until she's breathless and begging for me to take her.
Wow, that sounds horrible and pathetic, doesn't it? I swear I'm not as shallow as I'm coming off as.
Guess I better just prove that, huh?
I hear the crunch of leaves and I fight my flushed, heated body back to normal as Elsa approaches. Looking up, I take her in. Her eyes are red, but no more tears have fallen, and better yet, she's smiling.
"So?" I prompt.
"We can go," she tells me. "I've…said all I needed to say."
I smile. "This is a beautiful place for them, you know?" I want her to know. "It's so peaceful. That's not creepy, is it?"
Her smile grows a bit as she shakes her head. "It is beautiful," she agrees. "And peaceful. My father always wanted to be buried here. His parents are in this cemetery as well and he loved that you were able to see Manhattan atop the hill and across the water. He took my mom here once to visit his parents, and she too fell in love with the area. Dad always said he wanted to be able to see Manhattan from his resting place. It let him feel like he would never have to leave, ever."
"My dad wants to be cremated," I feel a bit obligated to explain. "We take an annual trip to Lake Cumberland in Kentucky, and he said he wants us to cast his ashes into the lake. Mom refuses to think about what she wants at all."
"It may come when she least expects it," Elsa mumbles.
Taking her hand once more, I grasp it tightly.
"I keep trying to tell her that," I mumble as well. "I'll make sure to hound her even more now."
Elsa scoffs out a small chuckle before she turns to look over to the Manhattan skyline. I look as well, and take in the city from afar. I may not have lived here long, but several buildings immediately pop out to me. Namely the Empire State, Chrysler Building, and One World Trade Center, but a few others are becoming more and more familiar to me as well.
It's so different from Louisville, and I'm torn as I start to think where I would want to be put to rest. I can't help let my mind go down that path with the events of the morning, and find myself faced with yet another difficult question. What's home to me now? Where do I feel more of a bond? Granted, Louisville, Kentucky is my home and I have so many memories and ties to the area, but I've always wanted to move to New York City, and now I have. This is my home now, but does that mean Louisville no longer is? Can you have two homes?
I start to get a headache with the rampant thoughts my mind is trying to process all at once, so I shake my head fiercely to dispel them. There are other things to think about than death. Work; boxing; Elsa. I try to focus on those instead.
"You okay?" Elsa asks me, and I blush when I realize what that must have looked like to her, me randomly shaking my head at nothing.
"Yeah, fine," I reply with a quick huff. "Just…thinking."
"Don't hurt yourself."
"Hey!"
I bump her side with my own and she giggles in turn. We're both laughing in the middle of a cemetery, and maybe that seems strange to outsiders, but, to us, it doesn't matter. Life is what you make it. Light is where you bring it. If laughing in a cemetery makes Elsa more at ease when visiting her parents, then what's the harm?
"Oh," I exclaim as our laughter dies down. "Before we leave Brooklyn, I have to take you to this amazing burger place Kristoff showed me."
Elsa grins. "Sounds good; I'm starving."
As we make our way back to the entrance of the cemetery, Elsa leans over and plants a gentle kiss on my cheek. Needless to say, I immediately erupt in red once more. Damn it, and that last blush had just faded.
"Thank you for coming with me, Anna."
"Anything for you, Elsa."
Still hand in hand, we make our way to the subway slowly, simply basking in each other's company and taking life as it comes. Glancing to the girl beside me, my smile grows; my courage and spark of hope building more and more.