Raphael and I made our way back to their home. Splinter was no longer sitting in the kitchen. I assumed that he was probably off mediating, trying to come to peace with the situation just as I was. So much had happened in just a few days, and it was hard to believe any of it was actually real. I excused myself to go and use the bathroom even though I really just wanted a moment alone.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time. Small dark circles were starting to form under my eyes from lack of sleep and stress. My bangs needed to be trimmed, as they were starting to hang too low on my face. I wiped at the corners of my eyelids, taking care of the smudges that hard formed due to the crying that had just taken place.

I hadn't even known the brothers that long, but I still felt like a completely different person. It was a cliche, but it was the truth. Not only was my appearance showing signs or wear and tear, but it had been a while since I had spent everyday with someone else. It had also been awhile since I'd kissed someone. Those feelings were at least somewhat familiar to me: I'd been apart of a family before. I'd been in love before.

And yes, I had run away from all of that when I had left California, but at least I knew what to expect this time around.

It was the fear and the worry that I wasn't familiar with. Those emotions were heavy weights to bare, and really, I didn't know what to do. I could let them swallow me. I could give in and let them crash over me like the tide. I could let them rip me away.

Or I could become someone who was tough. I could become the type of girl that I had never believed that I could be. I could stay, and be with Raphael.

If he only knew how weak I really was... He'd probably want nothing to do with me. Raphael was the strongest person I'd ever known. Not just because he had muscles, not just because he was a trained ninja, but because somehow, he'd lived his whole life down in the sewer. He had let himself believe that no one would ever see him as a human. He had convinced himself that he was monster. And yet, despite all of that darkness, he'd still become loyal, brave, and though I knew he tried very hard to hide it, he had become someone who was kind.

Honestly, it was unbelievable. Most people would have broken. Most people would have let those feelings of self-doubt, and maybe even self-hatred, destroy them from the inside out.

When I finally started to make my way back towards Raphael's room, I could hear the sounds of him hitting something. When I opened the door, he was mid swing, and I watched as his fist connected powerfully to the punching bag that hung in the corner. At least he was taking his aggression out on something instead of someone for once.

"Have you ever read the book Fight Club?" I asked him as I leaned up against the wall and watched.

"No."

"I'll get it for you. I think you'd like it." I said, and he didn't seem to notice the fact that I was teasing him - either that, or he just didn't care.

Right above my head was the area that he had punched the day before. Now that I was actually taking the time to observe the spot, I saw that he done a lot more damage than I had originally thought. There was actually a hole in the wall. He caught me staring at it and stopped hitting the punching bag.

I ran a finger over the jagged rock. "You know, you're pretty scary. I'm glad I'm on your good side." I said, raising an eyebrow playfully.

He smirked at me. "For now."

I laughed as I went over to sit down on his bed. I pulled my legs up to my chest and leaned by back against the headboard, watching as he started to remove the extra binding that he had wrapped around his hands. As I did this, I remembered the very first time I had come down to the sewer, seen the turtle's home, and met Splinter. I remembered falling asleep next to Raphael, with my head resting on his shoulder, and then waking up in this very bed. I remembered seeing him asleep out on the couch, no mask, no weapons, just Raphael.

I wondered if he ever thought about those events, and if they made him feel the same way that they made me feel. I wondered what falling for someone felt like to him.

Did he feel the same as humans do when they fell in love? Or was it different for him?

I would have given anything to know what his thoughts were like. Half the time I pictured them just being bright flashes of anger, but in these quiet moments, I figured there was more going on inside of his head than I would ever really understand.

Raphael took a seat on the bed with me, sitting closer to me than he ever had before. He was practically touching me, which felt like some kind of achievement.

I studied his profile. Since our kiss, he no longer looked the same to me. I found more comfort in his green eyes than I had before, and his shell didn't appear to be as big or as awkward. I guess, to put it simply, I was just growing more accustomed to these abnormalities. It wasn't like they had ever really bothered me, and now, I hardly even noticed them. I had feeling that soon, they would all but disappear to me.

It was a strange thought. I would never understand why I was so drawn to Raphael, and I knew that no matter how much I could try to convince myself otherwise, he was not human. He never would be human. Wanting to be with him went against everything ethical and rational in my mind, yet I found it easy to push those doubts aside.

After all, it had been a human who had held me at gun point, and it had been the mutant who had saved me.

"How did you get that scar above your lip?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side as I observed him some more.

"Mikey." He replied flatly.

"Ah. I probably should have known that." I chuckled. "Why is there tape on your shell?"

"It's cracked. Old injury." He answered. "What's with all the questions?"

"I've asked two questions, Raph. Don't be dramatic." I scolded, kicking him lightly with my foot.

I could see the way he reacted to me calling him by his nickname instead of his full name. It seemed like it pleased him.

I'll have to remember that.

"You know, you can ask me stuff too." I added.

He was quiet for a moment. "What's your favorite color?"

Of course that had to be the question he would ask.

"Uhmmm..." I pondered, chewing on my bottom lip.

"It's not a hard question." He stated impatiently.

I sighed. "Don't be mad... but it's purple."

"Oh."

"But," I continued quickly. "Green is my other favorite color."

I could tell that he was fighting to hold back a smile.

"What does the symbol painted on your shell stand for?" I asked, wanting to quickly change the subject, and also figuring that it was my turn now.

"Family." He replied.

I smiled. "I see. Ask me something else."

I leaned forward a bit, bringing myself ever-so-slightly closer to Raphael, and waited for him to come up with something.

"What is your favorite animal?" He finally decided. "And please, don't say it's a turtle."

I burst out laughing, shocked that he'd actually made a joke. "You're in luck. It's not a turtle. I like wolves."

I tapped my fingers against my chin, trying to come up with my next question. I wished that there was music playing or at least some kind of noise to fill the silence as I thought.

"This is kinda random. But, why don't you have a TV in here? Mikey has one in his room."

"I used to have one." Raphael answered.

"What happened to it?"

"I broke it."

"How?"

"I hit it."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

But, before he could answer me, someone began to knock urgently on the door. Raphael got to his feet and went to see who it was. Donatello stood before us, his eyes wide behind his glasses, seeming like he was incredibly freaked out.

"What?" Raphael demanded.

"There is something on the news that you need to see." Donatello stated quickly, then started to hurry back down the hallway.

I followed him and Raphael curiously, an uneasy feeling forming in the pit of my stomach. Mikey, Leonardo, and Splinter were already gathered around the TV in the living room, all of them staring at the news report that was currently spread across the screen.

"We've just received word about a robbery that took place earlier this afternoon. It seems as though a supply truck for a local gun store was taken down by a group that is calling themselves the Foot Clan. Everything inside of the truck was stolen. Luckily, no one was injured during the attack. The city's Gang Task Force will be investing the robbery to find out more about this so called Foot Clan. As of right now, we have no further information, and are assuming it to be a one time crime. We will update you as soon as we hear more. Stay tuned for April O'Neil covering the -"

Leonardo muted the TV, his mouth set in a grim line. I swallowed hard, afraid to look at Raphael's expression. I assumed it would not be good.

"Why would the Foot Clan reveal themselves?" Donatello said, asking the question we all had on the tip of our tongue's.

"I do not know, my son." Splinter said softly.

"This is bad." Leonardo stated. "We can't let them get away with this, Sensei."

"We must learn their motives before we can decide upon a course of action." Splinter replied.

"How are we supposed to do that while we're stuck down here?" Raphael said sharply. "They're gonna start killin' people if we don't do somethin'!"

"Yeah!" Mikey chimed in, nodding his head in agreement.

"I fear that the Shredder's plans are far more complicated than we could have ever imaged." Splinter mused, pulling at the long hairs of his beard, ignoring the urges of his family.

I took a step away from the group, feeling out of place in the conversation. Obviously, I wouldn't be able to offer them any sort of help on the matter. I had to keep my distance from Eric Sacks and the Foot Clan now.

"I should go... I'm sure you need time to talk about this..." I said.

"I'll take you home." Raphael replied, beginning to follow me.

I shook my head. "No. I'll be fine. This is more important."

"Keep your phone on you at all times." Leonardo told me firmly. "Call if you see anything suspicious. Anything."

"Of course." I agreed.

I gave Raphael one last look, and then turned to leave.

Working in the party planning business had never been a dream of mine. After years of working retail and food service jobs, I'd had plenty of customer service experience to put on my resume when I'd started looking for a job. I hadn't been picky - I'd just wanted to leave California. I'd searched Craigslist from top to bottom, applying to literally everything that was posted. I didn't even remember the business that I applied to most of the time. They had all began to blur together.

And then one day, The Special Event had called me and wanted to do a phone interview. That had then lead to a Skype interview, and I had been hired to work the front desk. After only a few months, I got promoted to a Coordinator in training for the big parties. I hadn't expected to enjoy the work as much as I did, but I found myself actually happy to go to the office everyday. Not to mention, the slight pay raise from the promotion had been enough to get me off of my Top Ramen diet once and for all.

Now, it all seemed like some kind of sick cosmic joke. Who would have thought that the job I had once enjoyed would become the thing I was now deeply dreading? Who would have been able to guess that I would take a job for the man who had mutated four turtles and a giant rat that I would eventually become friends with?

No one, that's who. Because most people don't have those kind of problems in their life.

As I sat at my desk, I was supposed to be calling our invitation printing company to get an order placed for a wedding we were doing. Instead, I was on The Special Event's website, staring at the words "Owned by Sacks Industries." I knew that I would never be able to focus until I got some answers, and so I went to the office of my boss.

"Come in!" She called when I knocked on the door.

"Oh, Lily. Everything going okay with the Holden Wedding?" Jen asked me when she looked up from the stack of papers on her desk. She was an older women, with short grey hair and dark brown eyes. She always dressed in an extremely classy manner, usually in a suit or a skirt and blouse. She looked like the kind of woman you could trust to plan your special day.

"It's going great. Just need to order the invites, and hopefully figure out what kind of menu she wants. The soon-to-be husband has an impressive list of food allergies." I replied.

Jen chuckled. "It's always something, isn't it?"

I nodded. "But actually... I have kind of an odd question for you. I know that Sacks Industries owns this company. Do we ever plan events for him? It's just that in all the time I've worked here, I've never actually heard anything about him."

"Well, Sacks Industries bought us out quite a while ago. I believe the story is that he was looking for a company to handle his private house events, but we've only ever done a few parties for Sacks Construction. I've never even met the man myself." Jen explained, turning her attention back to the papers before her.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh. I was just curious."

"It's funny you should ask that though." Jen continued just as I had turned to leave.

"Why?" I questioned.

"I just got a call not ten minutes ago about planning an event for Sacks. Supposedly, the rich are going to get richer, and so he needs to throw a party." Jen replied.

I could tell that she was trying to be funny, and I knew that I was supposed to laugh, but all I could do was stare back at her in shock while forcing a smile.

"Oh. Interesting." I manged to say. "I'll let you get back to work."

I closed the door to her office and went back to my desk. My heart was beating wildly. I tried to rationalize the situation inside of my mind: just because we were going to be planning a party for him, that didn't mean I would have to see him. After all, Jen had never even met him. There was no reason to freak out.

There is no reason to freak out.

I would just have to repeat that to myself until I started to believe it.

That night I found myself laying in bed, absolutely terrified.

Every noise, every creak and squeak, made me think of the Foot Clan. I'd tried to watch TV before going to sleep, but every news station was talking about the attack on the gun truck. Apparently, the police department was taking the robbery very seriously, not wanting to let yet another New York gang gain any hold over the city.

Little did they know, the Foot Clan wasn't just an average gang looking to fight over turf and drugs.

A car alarm sounded in the distance, and I almost jumped out of my skin. I'd already checked the locks on my windows and front door about a hundred times. Obviously, nothing was going to make me feel better.

There is one thing that might.

The idea had been floating around in my head for a while now. It was a stupid idea, one that would probably embarrass me to the point of wanting to die. But, I couldn't think of any other options. I needed to sleep. I was starting to feel crazy and unhinged. A good night rest would probably ease my nerves and help me be more rational.

Having made up my mind, I climbed out from beneath the covers and gathered up a few things that I would need for a night away from home. Then I headed towards the sewer.

If I thought being alone in my apartment was bad, walking alone at night and then going underground was horrifying. I looked over my shoulder so many times my neck actually started to hurt, and I had a layer of sweat on my skin from the nerves. I knew I probably looked like a hot mess, but it was too late to turn back now.

I was already at the turtle's front door.

I crept into their home slowly, knowing that I wouldn't see any of them up at this hour. I stood outside Raphael'd bedroom for a good five minutes, deciding if this was actually a smart idea or not. I contemplated just crashing on the couch, but if I was being honest with myself, that wasn't the only reason I had come here.

I needed to feel like I was safe. There was only one person who could make me feel safe from the Foot Clan.

I knocked on the door quickly, steeling myself for Raphael's attitude. I assumed he would not be happy to find me outside of his bedroom in my leopard print pajamas.

I saw the light flick on and heard him move across the room. The amount of shock in his expression upon seeing that it was me almost made me laugh out loud.

"Surprise." I said weakly, smiling at him awkwardly.

"What the hell, Lily?" He muttered.

I steeled myself for the anger that I could already sense growing. And then his eyes traveled over me, taking in the sight of what I was wearing and the backpack hanging over my shoulder.

"Did you walk down here like that?" He asked incredulously.

"Yep." I replied. "I couldn't sleep."

"And this is where you decided to come?"

I nodded. "I have a favor to ask you."

Raphael's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "One that couldn't wait til mornin'?"

"My favor is asking if I can sleep here tonight."

There. I had said it.

It was hard to keep my expression casual. I was thankful for the dark hallway since I was sure my cheeks were bright red.

"Did somethin' happen?" Raphael asked, his tone now full of concern.

"Nope. Just... Don't really feel like being alone." I admitted.

"Okay..." He replied slowly.

As usual, he didn't seem to believe me. Of course, I was totally lying. Some thing had happened. But I didn't want to get into all that so late at night.

Raphael stepped aside and I walked past him into the room. I dropped my bag to the floor and then climbed into his bed. It was still warm from when he had been sleeping in it only minutes before. Already I felt my muscles loosen, my breaths even out.

"Do you need anythin'?" He asked, still standing in the doorway.

I shook my head 'no', and then he started to leave.

"Where are you going?" I asked quickly, unable to hide the desperation in my voice.

"The couch?" Raphael replied, sounding a bit confused.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Uhm...yeah. So, when I asked if I could sleep here tonight, I meant... with... you."

Raphael had an incredible poker face. If what I had just said freaked him out at all, he wasn't letting it show. My words hung in the air for quite a while before he turned out the light and then finally came back over to the bed. My eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark yet, but I felt the bed move as he settled beside me. I was careful to leave plenty of room between us as I laid down and got comfortable as well.

"Thank you." I whispered.

He didn't respond, and so I figured he was just trying to get back to sleep. The quiet room was a much needed escape. The sound of his breathing was just as comforting as I had thought it would be. I had just begun to drift off... and then I heard him speak.

"Why did you come here?"

"I told you." I answered. "I didn't want to be alone."

"But why did you come here?"

"This is the only place I knew I'd feel safe." I said truthfully.

"I'm sure that's not true."

"It is." I replied firmly.

Raphael sighed heavily, and I could sense there were a lot more things that he wanted to say to me, and possibly even argue about, but he didn't. Thankfully, he just let me rest.

And I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not when it happened, but I could have sworn I heard him murmur 'sweet dreams'.