Shit, guys, has it really been three weeks? I'm so sorry. My motivation has just lacking exponentially and then two days ago my laptop stopped working. Like literally…it won't even turn on. Nothing. Nadda.

That said, the end of this chapter was written at work with dogs barking the entire time and the phone ringing off the hook. Despite that, I think it turned out well enough, but will probably being going back and editing it once my laptop is back up and running.

Also, Sucker Punch's one year anniversary is coming up July 7th! I can't believe it's already been a year since this was published, but we've still got a lot to get through, so keep your heads! And don't go crazy from the lack of updates! ;)

Chapter Twenty-Three: Round Three

The Netflix and ice cream marathon didn't seem to have the same effect it did before, unfortunately. The entire day, Elsa was unusually quiet—stoic, even—and she hardly reacted to anything we watched, be it comedy or horror. And yes, we really did watch a comedy and horror back-to-back. Mean Girls and The Ring will never be the same to me, honestly; yet, Elsa just sat there, eyes fixated absently on the screen, eating bowl after bowl of ice cream like a robot. When I tried to stimulate her for conversation, I was just rewarded with a distant "hmm" or "yeah."

When I start playing an episode of Bob's Burgers—a show Elsa hates for some unknown reason—and she still doesn't react, I knew it was serious. Muting the show, I take the half-full bowl of ice cream from her lap and place it on the table in front of us. Only when Elsa hits her leg with her spoon, does she finally break from her trance.

"Wha-?" she blinks down at her lap before looking at the TV, her eyebrows furrowing curiously. "Why are we watching this?"

I roll my eyes. "Because I knew you weren't paying any attention," I reply dryly. "Seriously, what's the last thing you actually remember watching?"

She cringes slightly and looks anywhere but me as she answers, "About the middle of The Ring."

We had watched two Disney movies between that and me putting on the current show.

I sigh heavily, yet place a comforting hand on Elsa's knee all the same. "Didn't help this time, huh?"

Elsa sighs herself and lets her head fall back on the couch. "Not a bit," she grumbles. Pausing, she sits up and rubs her stomach. "How many bowls of ice cream did I eat?"

"Six."

A huff.

"How many cartons?"

"Two and a half."

She groans and doubles over. "I don't feel so good."

"Do you want to cancel tonight?" I ask. "You don't need to push yourself."

"Of course I want to cancel tonight," Elsa says. "I'm ready to crawl back into a hole and forget the world, but I know you won't let me."

I frown at her choice of words. "I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to, Elsa."

She finally looks at me then, notices my expression, and tucks her head under my chin.

"I'm sorry," she mutters. "I didn't mean that."

"It's okay if you did," I manage to utter. "I feel like all I've done since I met you is push you in the deep end repeatedly, even though you've told me over and over you can't swim."

Weird analogy, but I have to roll with it.

Elsa grasps my shirt and emits a soft whine. "No, Anna, please don't think that! Y-You know I'm really grateful, r-right?" Pulling back she looks at me, flashing a meek smile. "This is just the fear talking, y-you know that."

"Is it though?" I can't help but retort somewhat bitterly.

"Yes!" she cries then, even shaking me for added effect. "Anna, I love you! I want this, really! I'm trying so hard to be brave, but the fear just keeps pulling me back! Every step forward feels like I'm taking ten steps back. But I w-want this; I do! Please believe me."

I look down at her and she takes the opportunity to kiss me, probably hoping desperately I'll see she's telling the truth through her actions.

"Through better or worse, right?" she whispers against my lips.

That elicits a laugh out of me and Elsa grins.

"We're not married, silly," I tell her cheekily.

"Doesn't mean it can't apply to relationships," she quips, kissing me again swiftly.

I roll my eyes again before I pull her back against my side. Huffing, I let my arm trail up and down her left arm, smiling slightly when Elsa hums in content.

"I just…can't help but feel sometimes that I'm forcing you to do all of this because I think I know what's best for you," I attempt to explain. "Then I feel like you go along with it because you know I love you and you don't want to let me down. But if you ever feel like that, I want you to tell me. You won't let me down, Elsa; no matter what you do. You won't let me, your parents, or the entire world down doing what you think is best for you. I want you to understand that…"

"I do," she replies. "But I honestly needed the push, Anna. You may be constantly pushing me into the deep end, but—to continue your analogy—I needed that push. I could swim the entire time; I just needed someone to help me get my feet wet."

I laugh. "So perhaps I should have walked you from the shallow end to the deep end rather than throwing you off the diving board."

"Who knows how long that would've taken though," she chuckles.

We both snicker at the ridiculous nature of the conversation, despite it being completely true and real under the surface.

"But really, Anna," Elsa says after a while of us watching Bob's Burgers on mute, "I think I'm ready for tonight. I can't promise what will happen minutes before I go on, but…"

"I'll be there to help you through it," I finish, kissing the top of her head.

"I wouldn't want you anywhere else," she mumbles. "I hope you know that."

I squeeze her against my side harder.

"I do."

XxXxX

It's a quarter to nine, Elsa and I have arrived at the television station, she goes on in fifteen minutes, and now she's disappeared.

"I'll find her!" I shout to the quickly-becoming-frantic cast, dashing out of the filming room and taking off down one of the floor's many hallways.

Elsa had ended up calling Channel 4 a few weeks prior and had gotten a space on the channel's night time talk show, The Magic Lamp. She had said at the time she thought the atmosphere would be more relaxed than if she were to do an actual press release or something like that. Now, however, the cold feet was obviously setting in, regardless.

Apparently Elsa had been telling the truth earlier when she said she couldn't promise her state of mind minutes before the show started.

"Elsa?" I call as I open one of the three bathroom doors on the floor. "You in here?"

I pause to see if I can hear any labored breathing, sniffles, or gasps, but I'm greeted with nothing. Still, I venture in further to look under each stall, just to double check. After doing the same to the other two women's rooms, I'm half tempted to search the men's bathrooms as well.

Then I happen to pass an empty conference room and see Elsa sitting against the far wall—which, essentially, is a floor-to-ceiling window—with her head in her hands. The room is dark and the only light comes from the hallway and the city life around us.

"Elsa?" I call out softly.

Even from across the room, I see her tense, and I know I have my work cut out for me to get her back to the filming room in less than ten minutes.

"Elsa, hey," I whisper gently as I carefully approach her. Every step I take, I see her curl further in on herself and unbidden tears spring to my eyes at this. "Look, I can easily go tell the cast to call this whole thing off, okay? I'm sure Genie will understand."

'Genie,' full name Gene Williams is the host of The Magic Lamp and a very kind, hilarious man. I had been with Elsa when she spoke to him about appearing on his show, and after telling him the entire story, he looked almost shocked—yet immensely proud—that Elsa wanted to share her past with all his viewers. He understood this was no small task, and so I'm certain he'd understand if Elsa couldn't go through with it yet.

"Everyone will think I'm a coward," she cries, her voice so broken it freaking starts to break my own heart.

"Hey, no, wait," I shush, immediately going to her and kneeling before her. "No one's going to think you a coward."

"Yes, they will!" Her voice cracks, and I can see for the first time how truly distraught she is. Looking up at me, tears run in rivulets down her face, her cheeks are a dark red, and there's a glimmer in her eyes that lets me know she's not one hundred percent here at this moment. "Maybe you won't, but you should! I've seen the commercials about me being a guest tonight; what will everyone think when I chicken out?"

"You shouldn't care what anyone thinks, Elsa," I tell her. "All you should care about is how you feel about this. I know you're probably at war with yourself, and that in itself can be frightening; forget the immediate task at hand." Pulling back errant strands of her hair, I brush a few tears from her cheeks. "And I will never think you a coward. You are the strongest person I know."

She shakes her head and chokes back a few sobs before burying her face back in her arms, bringing her knees up to make a protective ball. "You should," she repeats in a strained voice.

"Well, too bad; I'm never going to," I state even firmer.

"But I am!" she yells. "Don't you see that meeting you was some fluke? Had we never crossed paths I'd still be living my reclusive, cowardly life! Hiding away where it was safe; where I didn't put myself out there to please someone. Ever since meeting you my life's been a continuous, tortuous roller coaster that I just want off of!"

I swallow hard, an unbidden knot rising in my throat.

"You don't mean that, Elsa," I mumble. "It's just the fear talking again."

"What if it's not?! What if I mean every word, Anna?!"

Against my better judgement, anger rises within me.

"So, what, you're saying you regret everything now?" I snap. "That if I were out of your life, everything would go back to normal?"

Elsa blinks and new tears fall before her head's buried beneath her arms once more.

"I don't know…" she whimpers. "I don't know anything!"

Repressing my rash, unwanted anger, I take a deep breath before gently prying Elsa's arms away from her face. She looks up at me, broken and defeated, and I can only flash a smile, hoping she sees only the person who loves her, not someone else she falsely believes she needs to please.

"Elsa," I say, softly, gently, "you know more than you think. You're braver than you think, and you're more capable than you think. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you've just got to believe that you can do this. No one's going to think any different of you, and if they do, then fuck them." I see a smile flash across her face before I press my forehead to hers, our unspoken method of comfort; of knowing the other is there. "You do this tonight, and you never have to be scared to go out in public again. You do this tonight, and another weight is lifted from your shoulders; forever. You do this tonight, and that fear will never haunt you again."

"B-But there's so much more to come…" she rasps.

"And we'll conquer it when it comes, but tonight isn't the night to worry about that." Pulling back, I place my hands on her shoulders and look her dead in the eye. "Tonight, you go out there, you tell all those people what they want to hear, and you become even more of a hero to them because you're showing resilience; that you're fighting through your struggles; that you're in control of your life, not fate, not God; and, most importantly, that you're back."

I can see Elsa struggling internally, her emotions at turmoil inside of her to determine how the rest of this night proceeds. Squeezing her eyes shut, she grabs me in a big hug, and my heart lifts a bit when she expels a huge breath by my ear.

Pulling back, I grin when I see the hardened glint of determination and pride at the forefront of those blue orbs, only an inkling of fear lingering in their depths.

"O-Okay," she breathes, and I can't help but crash my lips to hers. She kisses back hungrily, eagerly, conveying all her unspoken thanks she couldn't possibly string into words.

Before we get too much further—'cause, hell, I'm tempted to—I pull back and without thinking, whisper huskily, "Go get 'em, baby."

Both of us blushing scarlet, I pull her up with me, and we walk back to the studio hand in hand. Elsa still tenses upon entering and I hear her gulp audibly beside me, but when I tighten my hold on her hand, I feel her relax—if only a bit—beside me.

"Ah, Miss Arendelle," Genie greets us with a warm smile. "So glad you decided to return."

Elsa's blush lingers as she glances to me before addressing him. "You have her to thank."

Genie's smile widens as he shakes his head, "No, my dear, we only have you to thank. No one, despite what you may think, could have willed you back here but yourself."

A look of consternation crosses Elsa's face and I hide a laugh behind my hand. This guy's more philosophical than Milo.

"Sorry we didn't make it back here by nine," I offer as an apology, seeing the clock hanging above the set says nine-seventeen.

Genie looks at the clock as well but shrugs. "It can't be helped," he sighs. "Good thing that silly basketball game is in overtime, eh?"

So, I think with a grin, we didn't even miss a thing. Genie won't be able to go on until after the game anyway. Looking to Elsa, I see her looking slightly relieved, although I'm sure she was also hoping to get on with it and get it done as quickly as possible.

Now she has more time to think about everything.

"There's a table of refreshments over there," I point out, hoping to distract her until she goes on. "I think I saw pizza and chocolate."

Elsa huffs out a laugh before letting me pull her over and I'm handing her a slice of pizza before she can protest.

"A stomach full of ice cream may not be the best way to go on a show," I tell her with a grin. "You haven't eaten anything substantial all day, and as your amazing girlfriend, I won't let you do this unless you eat."

I'm half convinced she's going to simply retreat back into the dark shroud of fear and say that she simply won't eat in order to get out of tonight, but instead she gives me a grateful smile before taking a bite of the food.

"Thanks, Anna," she mumbles with a blush. She looks around the set briefly before leaning over and pecking my cheek. "You're too good to me."

"No I'm not," I retort playfully. "Just wait until Valentine's Day; your stuffed bear is going to be so big it'll barely fit in your apartment."

Elsa's smile turns coy. "Then your box of chocolates is going to need a crane just to get the lid off."

My mouth starts to water at the simple thought.

"Don't tease me with such delicacies, Elsa."

Winking, she replies, "Just you wait."

Shit, hurry up, February!

Unfortunately, our playful banter is cut short when a young, tanned boy wearing a headset approaches us.

"Miss Arendelle," he says, "my name is Aladdin; Genie's assistant and producer. If you're ready, we'd like to set you up with a mic. As guest of honor, you'll be going first."

Elsa pales slightly at that tidbit of information, but the calming presence of my hand on her shoulder keeps her resolve hardened.

"I'll be right over here," I tell her, indicating I intend to stay put with the refreshments. "And then, when you go on, I'll be right off set, so you can always see me, okay?"

Now staring the set down—a simple desk which Genie sits behind, organizing the papers for the night's show, a plush chair in which the guest sits, all in front of an outlined Manhattan skyline—Elsa nods imperceptibly, but I can feel the waves of gratitude coming off her despite it. Giving her shoulder one last squeeze, Elsa follows after Aladdin, who seems to fidget slightly now that they're more alone as he stammers, "I'm…really a huge fan, Miss Arendelle; and I think what you're doing in amazing and honorable. No matter what it is… I-I won't think any less of you."

I smile as I see Elsa blush at his kind words, and hope against all hope that this kid's awe of her will help her confidence rise. After all, there's only so much I alone can do.

Regrettably.

Scowling at my lack of being a superior human being, I stuff my mouth full of chocolate chip cookies. Elsa will call me over before they're ready to begin. In the meantime, I have to think of more ways to go above and beyond for this girl I would give the sun, moon and sky for if I could. And chocolate helps me think.

Sure enough, as the show is about to start, Elsa calls me over. Heading to her quickly, I break out into a grin in hope to alleviate any lingering nerves as she takes my hand.

"Anna," she begins, biting her lip as she averts her gaze from me, "i-if Genie asks…I don't know if I can…a-admit what you really are to me."

I suppose I can't really blame Elsa for that, but an indignant spark of hurt rises within me all the same.

"So I'm just the best friend again?"

"No!" she immediately cries, doing her best to keep her voice down as the show's begun and Genie's started introducing what the night holds. "Anna, please understand; this doesn't change my love for you. I just… I'm already admitting a lot tonight…do you really expect me to come out too?"

"Wouldn't it just be easier to get it all over with along with everything else?" I ask.

"If people think wrongly of us, I don't want anyone to come down on you," she says.

I can't help but roll my eyes. "Elsa, this is New York City, not some rural county in Alabama or something; anyone against gays probably know better enough to keep their mouths shut. And I grew up in Kentucky knowing I was gay since I was thirteen; you don't think I know how to handle or ignore people's spiteful hate?"

"Look, I just don't think I can do this now, okay?!" she basically shouts at me. Well, as loud as shouting can be when it's whispered.

"Okay," I whisper back, mostly to placate her. "If you don't want to, you don't have to. I understand."

"But I do want to, Anna," she tells me. "It's just I don't think I can."

I shrug. "It's still okay," I reply. "We'll work on that later, okay?"

Hesitating to meet my eyes, she asks, "Do you still love me?"

Chuckling, I kiss her forehead before pulling her to me in a hug. "Of course I do, Elsa."

"I'm sorry I'm so much trouble," she mumbles against my shoulder, still wrapped in my hug.

"You're anything but trouble. Just because you can't do something I could doesn't make you a nuisance or diminish my love for you." Pulling her back, I stroke her cheek before saying, "We'll take more about this later if you want, alright? For now, just go out and there and do what we came here to do."

Elsa nods and takes a deep breath. I go to stand behind her and start to rub her shoulders. Hearing her sigh pleasantly, I grin.

We remain like that until Aladdin comes over to us again. Damn that kid for always interrupting us.

"Genie's about to go to commercial break, but as soon as the show returns, you'll be up," he explains.

"Okay," Elsa breathes. "I'm ready."

Within five minutes, Elsa's standing just off set, waiting for her cue to walk out and to the guest chair. Within five minutes, everything Elsa's spent the last year and a half struggling to hide is about to be brought to the surface. And not to just some redheaded girl she fell in love with; the whole world.

Or, the entirety of Genie's audiences, but you can bet the news will still spread fast regardless, and in no time the entire world will know, but you get it.

"And now," Genie's voice breaks my internal ramble, "our first guest this evening is someone who has kept herself hidden from public eye for over a year. Until now. Please help me in welcoming Olympic gold medalist, Elsa Arendelle."

The live audience in the studio begins to applaud madly and I throw in my own bout of clapping for the hell of it, hoping Elsa can hear it and know I still have her back despite the fact that I'm not on that stage with her. She shuffles quickly to her seat, yet I'm proud of her when I see her look out to the audience with a soft smile, and not immediately scuttle back off stage.

Not that I thought she would actually do that, but with how much she was fearing going on, the thought still persisted in my mind.

"Thank you, Genie," she says once she's seated, and I'm sure I'm the only one who could detect the slight waver to her voice.

"It's my pleasure, Elsa," the host responds. "It's not every night I get such an idol on my show."

Elsa looks away and blushes and I can't help but smile at her mannerisms. God damn, she really is too adorable for her own good.

"So," Genie begins with a sigh, "shall we get straight to business? I hear it was quite an accomplishment to get a slot on my show tonight to say what you want. Something that caused a former star to suddenly disappear, not only from the spotlight, but from the general public period, must really be something."

Elsa nods and I see her rub her hands on her jeans as she gulps and looks to the floor. She's up.

"I-It is," she stutters before clearing her throat. "I never…intended to 'go into hiding' or something, but then again, another part of me never wanted to let others know what had happened."

"What provided the final push?" Genie asks with a smile, and the one on my face grows in turn.

Elsa blushes again and looks back at the floor. "Not what," she mumbles. "Who."

The audience "oohs" at this and Genie's doing his best to act like he had no idea what was coming.

"A special someone for our Elsa?"

She nods and looks out past the cameras and audience and spots me among the rest of the crew. Since she had walked on, I had made my way back here so she'd be able to see me during her time on air. Giving her a reassuring, loving smile, I wink.

"Y-Yes," she stammers from the surprise of my flirty wink—that was mean of me, I know; sorry—but then she fixes Genie with a proud stare, and in the firmest of voices, asserts, "She is."

There might not have been any emphasis on the "she," but regardless, I'm incredibly proud of Elsa. Despite her earlier fears, she basically just outed herself to the entire viewing audience, even if she doesn't think she did because it wasn't as blunt as I think she was thinking she'd have to be.

Wow, that was a jumble. Did that make sense?

Genie's just smiling like a child, and I immediately think of Olaf, wondering if he, Marshall, and the rest of the kids are watching this with their parents at this moment.

"Well, let her know we're all incredibly indebted to her," Genie jokes.

Elsa chuckles briefly, her confidence subtly on the rise. "Oh, she knows."

The audience laughs a bit at that, and although Elsa blushes once more, she manages to look back out to the crowd briefly before her attention is back on Genie.

"So, the story?" Genie prods gently.

Elsa sighs. "The story."

During the next few minutes, I had never been so proud of Elsa. Everything had changed for her. All of her shadows and regrets, all the secrets she worked so hard to bury deep inside of her and her past, were laid bare; and this time it wasn't to someone she had come to form an intense bond with, but a bunch of strangers she would most likely never learn the names of.

The past was in the past.

I had been intently watching the audience's reactions to her story and therefore noticed the numerous gasps, looks of pain, and morose understanding that moved across them as Elsa told her tale.

When the time came for the biggest reveal of all, Elsa went above and beyond by actually removing her brace completely, leaving her stump—scar and all—exposed for any and all to see. This surprised me even, as Elsa had not told me she was considering doing such a thing. Regardless, this only made me more proud of her. After she had fixed the brace back in place, she looked back at Genie, patiently waiting for what he had to say and how he would address this—despite him having already known and giving his sincere condolences.

"Well Elsa," he says, "I'm sure there is nothing we can say to truly bring back what you've lost, and I'm sure you're already on your way to knowing there was nothing you could have done to avoid these unfortunate incidences; but I'm sure I can speak for my audience and the rest of the viewers at home when I say how sorry I am that this happened to you. Someone as young and innocent as you doesn't deserve something like this. I'm sure you have many fans and even complete strangers who will rally behind you as you continue your journey through grief and to recovery."

Still studying the audience, my smile grows as I see several audience members nod in agreement to Genie's statement, some even going as far as applauding Elsa's bravery. Despite have shown her injury in its rawest form, not one person bears a look of disgust; rather, the only thing I can gather from everyone's reaction is sympathy. Pure, unbridled sympathy.

"So, what's the next step for you, Elsa?" Genie asks next.

"Well…" Elsa pauses and searches for me again. Locking eyes, I see the question present in her and give a subtle nod. A smile flickering across her face, she answers. "I'm hoping to get a prosthetic. I know it's going to be a difficult task, and perhaps the hardest part of this entire thing has yet to happen, but I know…" She blushes and finishes in a rushed mumble, "As long as she's by my side, I can do it."

I beam as the audience "awwws" before applauding once more. Even though it's now more obvious that this "special someone" is a girl and there may very well be romantic feelings present, there hasn't been any immediate outcry nor has anyone voiced their displeasure. I mean, I honestly wasn't expecting any as New York City is a pretty "gay-friendly" city. At least from what I've gathered in my months here.

Genie's smiling dreamily and I muffle a giggle at his expression. Good to know Elsa and I have our own fan base gathering.

Elsa remains on air for a few more minutes as Genie asks her a couple more questions. Now that everyone knows what happened to cause Elsa's disappearance, the next question on the world's mind is: will she ever return to boxing?

"I hope so," is Elsa's reply. "Boxing is actually how I met…her, and I've been missing it an awful lot lately. Even if I can't compete at the level I used to, I'll still be ecstatic just to compete at any level again."

"Well, here's hoping everything turns your way in the end," Genie says. "We're all rooting for you, Elsa."

Blushing yet again, Elsa mumbles out a thanks. Genie beams once more as they both stand.

"Elsa Arendelle, everyone! Let's give her a round of applause, huh? Tonight took a lot of guts!"

Not only does she get a round of applause, but the audience gives her a freaking standing ovation, and I have to jump just to see over everyone's heads. My face hurts from smiling so much, but I pay the pain no mind. It's worth it if it means I know Elsa's now free from so many demons of her past. And sure, we both know there's still hell to come—after all, we haven't even started the process of getting her prosthetic—but this brief bereavement is definitely not going to go underappreciated.

Elsa's long off the set when the audience finally settles back down enough the Genie can continue the show, but I'm no longer paying attention as I run back offset to search for my girl. Seeing her downing a bottle of water, another grin splits my face as I run to her.

"You did it, Elsa!"

She drops the water as I grab her and pick her up, spinning her around like they do in those cheesy romantic movies. But damn it, this is a big fucking deal, so I'm going to be as cliché as I want to be.

"I'm so proud of you, Els!" I cry as I continue spinning us around. Finally setting her down, I kiss her hard on the lips, not caring who's around to watch. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she tells me after I've pulled away.

"You even told everyone about me!" I exclaim. "Even if you didn't mean to, that's big!"

"I guess it just slipped out," she mumbles with a blush. "But you've played such a big role in all this, being by my side since the beginning, you don't deserve to be hidden away."

I give her a peck on the cheek as I repeat, "I'm proud of you."

She beams and hugs me again, and soon I hear soft sobs coming from her as she buries into my hoodie.

"I'm just so relieved this is over," she sighs, trying to catch her breath.

"You never have to think of it again," I point out.

"And did you see everyone's faces? No one looked revolted or anything!"

"Everything's great, Elsa," I agree. "We can take the next several days to just relax and live our lives before we conquer the next hurdle. You deserve it."

Smiling somewhat shyly, yet also managing to be flirty, she whispers, "As long as you're next to me for every second."

Blushing and grinning, I reply, "I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else."