Malibu Mall Madness
Disclaimer: "Dammit, Dale!" - Hank Hill, King of the Hill
Chapter 5: Villainous Plotting!
The skies over Malibu
"BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!" The Surf Master cackled as he soared over the skies of Malibu, California. "WHOO! God, I love this board!" The mad inventor smiled as he just let the wind blow through the hair that his helmet allowed to go free. He could hear a slight beeping from the visor of his helmet. The HUD of the helmet alerted him to a group of people on the ground below him. "Hello..." His smile broke out into a grin. "Looks like there's some people down there. I'd better give them a looksee." Just like his sensors indicated, there were five people hanging around in a clearing.
"Well, it looks like a bunch of us have decided to hit this here mall." A man in a heavily-padded brown-and-yellow costume remarked. His costume also had silver gauntlets covering the forearms, leaving his fingers and thumbs free. He was Herman Schultz, the Shocker. A regular foe of Spider-Man, Shocker's trademark was his vibro-gauntlets, wonderous devices of his own design that could fire powerful vibrations and shockwaves. The unique look of his costume was due to the padding he needed to protect himself from the vibrations. "I guess I wasn't the only one who decided to try and hit a place in a town where there were no superheroes."
"Well, I have an actual need for capital." A woman stated. Her curvaceous frame was covered by purple figure-revealing full-body armor that had thick yellow stripes on the calves and upper arms. The stripes had a black circuitry pattern on them. Her face was covered by a yellow faceplate with glowing red eyes. The armor was completed by a green cape and hood. She was Cylvia Anita Cyber, aka Doctor Cyber. A foe of Wonder Woman, Cyber was a brilliant scientist. Embittered with the scientific community's horror about her theories and experiments in cybernetic enhancement, she made herself into a cyborg to prove her theories, and to get revenge on said community. Her cybernetic implants allowed her to stretch her limbs, and her armor, also self-designed, came with a forcefield, enhanced her strength and toughness, and was also fitted with various weapons. "I need money for my experiments and research. The rest of these clowns are merely here just to cause mayhem."
"Excuse me, Doctor?" A man raised his eyebrow underneath his goggles. The man wore a red-and-yellow costume with built-in body armor. The costume had an emblem of a flame on the chest, and sleek yellow-and-gold gauntlets covering the hands and forearms. On his hip was a small scabbard, with a hilt of a dagger peeking out of it. His eyes were covered by red goggles. His name was Dan Springer, but the authorities also knew him as Flame, an arsonist-for-hire. "I am not here to cause random mayhem. I was hired by a business operating in the mall to remove several rivals that are also operating within the same mall." 1
"Really?" A Hispanic woman inquired. She was wearing a yellow and purple costume. The cowl of her costume let two black braids run loose. The woman was a member of the group of snake-themed supervillains known as the Serpent Society. Her name was Teresa Vasquez, but she was the assassin-for-hire codenamed Fer-de-Lance. Thanks to chemical treatments, she had enhanced strength and durability. Her costume was also equipped with her trademark weapons: a retractable 8-inch razor-sharp omnium steel claw-like blade on each arm. Her boots were also equipped with 3-inch retractable claws. "Let me guess, you were hired by the manager of that pizza joint, right? Uh...Petey's Pizza, right?" Her voice showed the inflection of her native Puerto Rico.
"Why, yes." Flame raised an eyebrow. "The manager there hired me to torch the Crazy Sal's pizza place."
"I was going to rob that place." Fer-de-Lance explained.
"Ah." Flame nodded. Doctor Cyber chuckled.
"Looks like you have a problem here, Flame." Flame glared at the cyborg after her little show of smarmy humor. Shocker just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Oh, fer God's sake..." The yellow-and-brown-wearing man muttered.
"Actually, Doctor, I would have no issue with Fer-de-Lance ransacking the store." Flame scowled. "My employer doesn't care about the store's money. He just wants the store burned to the ground."
"Just as long as you don't burn me to the ground, apuesto." Fer-de-Lance smirked. 2
"Are you two going to flirt with each other now?" Doctor Cyber groaned.
"I don't give a damn, as long as those two focus when they need to." Shocker scowled at Doctor Cyber. "Now, since we got similar goals, I figured that we should join forces. You know, like the heroes do when they decide to beat on us?"
"Sure, why not?" Fer-de-Lance shrugged.
"I see no problem with that." Flame agreed.
"If I must." Doctor Cyber grumbled.
"Hello..." The four villains stopped and looked up. They saw the insane Surf Master floating down towards them on his flying surfboard. His wild grin threatened to split his face.
"What is-?" Doctor Cyber gaped.
"Who the hell-?" Shocker blinked.
"Hello..." The Surf Master greeted again. "I heard you guys wanted to ransack that mall."
"Who are you?" Doctor Cyber growled.
"I..." Surf Master took a dramatic bow. "...am the Surf Master! The Big Kahuna of the skies!" He laughed.
"Surf...Master?" Fer-de-Lance struggled not to laugh.
"Who is this guy?" Shocker muttered in disbelief.
"Friend of yours?" Flame shot mockingly at Doctor Cyber. The cyborg cyberneticist glared back at the arsonist.
"Does he look like a friend of mine?" She grumbled. She turned back towards the insane inventor. "What is it that you want, Surf Master?"
"Well..." Surf Master jumped up to his feet on his board. "I overheard you guys wanting to wreak a little bit of havoc. Well, just so you know..." He paced up and down on his floating board. "I created this little board and sweet little suit of armor because I wanted to wreak some havoc."
"I...see..." Doctor Cyber blinked.
"So I figured, being the genius I am..." He started to do a handstand on his board. "...maybe I could join up with you guys and wreak some havoc." Shocker sighed.
"Guys, huddle." The five supervillains did what Shocker suggested. Surf Master started to float towards them. "Not you, you idiot!" The insane inventor floated quickly back to his place. "Okay, you guys. What do you think?"
"He is clearly insane!" Doctor Cyber whispered harshly.
"We can use him, though." Shocker explained.
"For what?" Fer-de-Lance blinked. "To get shot at?"
"Exactly." Shocker grinned underneath his mask. "Hear me out, guys. We use him to bother the cops, we'll be able to do our jobs."
"And if we're lucky, they'll shoot him." Doctor Cyber shrugged. "I say we bring the idiot along."
"Yeah, he might be good for a laugh." Fer-de-Lance shrugged.
The Malibu Mall
"Hmmm..." Robert "Bobby" Drake rubbed his chin in thought as he looked over the shelves. He was in a bookstore. The Iceman wasn't necessarily known as an avid reader, but even he was not immune to the seemingly magical lure of a good book. On this day, he was looking for one that appealed to his particular tastes. "Let's see...where is it...where is it...ah!" The young mutant smiled when he eyed one particular spine and read the writing on it:
The Adventures of Sam Starwin: The Jade Guitar Adventure
"The new Sam Starwin novel..." Bobby smiled. "About time they released it." The cryokinetic was a huge fan of the Sam Starwin novels, a series of books that told the adventures of Sam Starwin, an intergalactic archaeologist who solved mysteries, fought villains, and romanced beautiful women. Bobby had read all the books in the series so far, and he was eagerly awaiting this latest novel. "This F.D. Robertson guy is an awesome author." Bobby chuckled to himself. He had been meaning to get his friend Sam "Cannonball" Guthrie into the series, as Sam was a big fan of science fiction, particularly Robert Heinlein. The young mutant's hand reached out and gripped the book between his fingers, when another hand, this one feminine, ended up touching his hand. Bobby blinked and turned his head.
When he did, he found himself looking at one Lila Cheney, the Superstars' keyboardist/occasional guitarist/vocalist, and unbeknownst to the X-Man, the West Coast Misfit codenamed Starway for her power to teleport across interstellar distances.
"Oh..." The dark-haired waif mumbled, her cheeks slightly reddened, her voice showing a Cockney lit. "...sorry about that. I was waiting for that book to finally come out..."
Ah hell... Bobby groaned. Lila Cheney. One of the last people on Earth I wanted to see. He sighed and swallowed some bile that he felt in his throat. "...Hello, Lila." Wow. Bobby found himself thinking as he looked at the British girl. I've never really gotten to see her close-up before, but she's actually really beautiful...Wait, what am I doing?! Come on, Drake! She's a rock star and she beat Dad up. He shook his head slightly. Besides, you still gotta figure out a way to win over Lina Chakram.
"Hey..." Lila smiled slightly. "Nice to see you again, Bobby. You look well."
"Uh, yeah..." Bobby sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks, I guess." He took a breath. Cool it down, Drake. He reminded himself. "...What you doing?"
"Oh, I was just picking up the latest Sam Starwin novel." Lila answered with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of her head. "I'm a bit of a fan." Bobby blinked in amazement.
"...you're serious." The ice-maker mumbled.
"Yeah." Lila smiled. "I picked up one of the novels while at an airport in Denver a few months ago." Lila explained. "I figured it'd be a good way to kill a couple hours. You know, read a cheap cheesy airport novel."
"...which Sam Starwin novel?" Bobby inquired. "There's been a bunch of 'em. At last count, there's been about fifteen."
"The Curse of the Crimson Nebula." Lila answered. "I fell in love with F.D. Robertson's novels right there. As soon as I could, I scooped up as many as I could find." She smiled warmly at her fellow mutant.
"Yeah..." Bobby blinked. I don't get it. What is with me? The ice-maker thought to himself. A minute ago, I wanted to tear into her. I wanted to get into her face and scream at her about how much she ruined any chance I had to get back in good graces with my family, but now... He looked at the interstellar teleporter. She does have quite the pretty face...
"Hey, Bobby. You alright?" Lila blinked. "You seem lost in thought."
"Uh, oh, I'm fine." Bobby mumbled, shaking his head. He then took a breath. Okay, Bobby, you can do this... "Look, Lila." The ice-maker steeled himself up.
"Oh..." Lila blinked. "I know what this is about. The concert, right?"
"Yeah." Bobby nodded.
"Yeah..." Lila nodded. "As long as we have the opportunity, we might as well talk it out..."
Well, well, well! Looks like things are kicking up! What insanity will happen next? Will the villains' plans succeed? How will the conversation between Lila and Bobby go? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!
1 – Flame is an actual Marvel Comics supervillain. He first appeared in Dazzler #23 (January, 1983). He would not appear for a couple decades, until the last Heroes for Hire miniseries, where he got Skrull organs transplanted into him.
2 – Handsome, in Spanish.