"This will never do!" The sorceress stormed around her darkened laboratory, tossing bottles and vials filled with various colors and thickness of liquids here and there as she went. "If I can't have the crown, I at least want to find a way to get rid of these crows' feet around my eyes."
"Uh," her lumbering companion followed quickly behind, catching the potions before they could make a mess on his newly cleaned floor. "You know, it doesn't matter what you look like on the inside. It's what's on the outside that counts."
Whipping around, she nearly fell the gentle giant with her cold stare. "Have you seen my 'inside'? Do you really think that's the way to go with this?"
His face fell and shoulders dropped. "Good point. Well, maybe," his face took on a look of deep thought, "we could find some makeup that could help? You know, a good concealer, some nice foundation…"
"I AM wearing makeup, you twit," she yelled back, knocking everything out his hands on her way to the table nearby. "No, what I need is something stronger than cosmetics."
He nodded. "Dolly Parton's plastic surgeon?"
"Dolly who? Plastic what?" She stared at him for a moment. "Never mind. I need a potion that will reverse the signs of aging, and I've finally found the recipe. The trick is to find the correct ingredients."
"Okay, but I just have to ask. Is this going to involve trying to kill the king again? Because, if it does, I have to remind you that it didn't go very well for us the last time, and it took you a year to figure out how to get out of the form of a cat." He shrugged. "Maybe you should just be happy the king didn't kick you out of the kingdom?"
She rubbed at her temples, trying to slow her headache. "No, I am not trying to kill the king again," she replied very slowly in the hopes the big oaf next to her would be able to catch on. "Besides, the king won't do. The main ingredient is very specific."
He leaned over her shoulder to get a look at the unrolled parchment in front of her on the table. "Uh… okay, remember when I asked if you were planning to kill the king? Let me rephrase that. Are you planning to kill anyone because…"
"Enough!" She pounded the table and rounded on him. "You're either with me or not. I need to know right now whose side you're on because, if you're not on my side, I'll have to do something with you."
He winced. "Not the box again."
"Yes, the box," she confirmed with a slow nod of her head. "And you won't get out of the box until I return."
Swallowing hard, he shook his head. "Okay, so where is this person you need? It is a person, right? They're not like half bird or something, are they? Because that would actually be kind of cool. You know? You could just fly wherever…"
"Kronk."
"Yes, Yzma?"
"Go pack. We're going to a place called Storybrooke."
"Oh, right, packing. On it. Uh… do you know what kind of weather this place has? Where is it in the kingdom? Maybe I can figure it out or ask my squirrel friends. They always know the weather patterns…"
"It's not in this kingdom. It's not even in this realm." She pulled out another scroll and unfurled it. "It's in a place called Maine in a realm very few return from."
"But we're going to return, right?" Kronk stared unsurely down at old woman. "I have to teach a squirrel translation class next month, and I already promised to do it, sooooooo…."
"We will return once we have what I need. I've already arranged for a portal there and one for our return. It took some doing, but I managed to procure two beans for our journey." She held the large, somewhat translucent beans up for him to see.
"Those look like really big kidney beans. Are we… supposed to eat those or something?"
"They're not for eating. They're for… Oh, for crying out loud, Kronk. Just go pack, and make sure it's something warm. I understand this place is colder than what we're accustomed to."
He nodded, straightened his back and turned toward their rooms. "Right! I'm on it."
"Get your own fries," Jane hissed as she pulled the basket out of Maura's reach. "I'm eating all of these, and I'm eating all of this burger, drinking all of this shake, and then I'm having a piece of that apple pie with ice cream."
"You're going to be sick at the rate you're going," Maura replied with a chuckle. "I do admit that the pie looks delicious, though. I may splurge and have a piece with my coffee after I finish my meal."
"Eugenia's apple pies are good, but mind are much better," Regina cut in by way of stepping into the two women's conversation. "I finally won the pie bakeoff this year, which I consider one of the more importantly won battles in my life."
"Oh! You cook?" The doctor moved over to allow room in the booth for the mayor to join them. "So do I. Jane's mother has been teaching me how to cook authentic Italian recipes off and on for a few years now, and it's so much fun."
"Italian?" Regina looked across the way to Jane, who was giving her a surely look over the rim of her milkshake. "I also make a decent lasagna, though my son would have you believe it's the best ever made."
"Henry," Jane asked with just a hint caution.
The mayor startled. "Yes… Henry." She shook her head in confusion. "How did you know my son's name?"
"Sheriff Swan explained how she came to be in Storybrooke while we were on our way back into town," Maura explained. "Isn't it odd how life sometimes turns out? Who would have guessed that your son's biological mother would become the elected sheriff of the town in which you are the mayor?"
"Yes, fate's funny in that way," Regina replied dryly. "What else did the good sheriff tell you about our personal life?"
"She mentioned something about roommating with your son's teacher," Jane offered, throwing it out there to see how the mayor would react.
True to her well trained nature, Regina simply shrugged it off. "Yes, they seemed to get along well, and, if our son is going to spend the night somewhere other than his home, then I'm glad it's with two people I know I can trust."
The detective seemed disappointed in the answer, or perhaps the reaction. "You know, for a mayor, you're out of your office a lot."
"Jane," her friend admonished, but Regina brushed that off as well.
"I feel it's very important to speak with my constituency and to ensure they are aware that I am here and available to them. I'm frequently out of the office as I go about town speaking with local businesses and community leaders to ensure the needs of my town are met. That said," the mayor added with just a hint of amusement, "it IS Saturday. Even mayors get a day off."
"Well, I think it's very gracious of you to come speak with us on your day off, Madam Mayor," Maura replied before Jane could continue to needle the other woman. "From what we can tell, Storybrooke is a lovely place."
"Thank you. I certainly like to think so." Regina smiled warmly. "If you'd like, I could arrange for our local historian to give you a tour of our town. Do you know how long it will take to repair your car?"
"No clue." The detective grunted. "The mechanic said it'd be with him at least overnight, though."
"I would actually very much enjoy a guided tour from a local historian. That sounds like fun." Maura gave a pleading look to Jane. "Don't you think so?"
"Belle is a lovely young woman who has a real passion for our local lore and literature." Regina tried to push without it seeming that way. They really needed the two women chaperoned at all times, and, if they decided to go exploring on their own, who knows what kind of chaos they might run into?
"Jane, I think that would be a good way to end the day, don't you? We could tour the town and find things to do for tomorrow while we wait for the car to be repaired." Maura was practically bouncing in her seat. "Since we can't seem to get an outside line to reach our family in Boston…"
"Yeah, about that," Jane cut in. "What gives with the cell towers being down and the long distance service not working here?"
Somehow, Regina managed to pull off looking embarrassed. "The internet is down, too, I'm afraid." She convincingly winced. "Our local towers have been out for a few days. I've been working with several people to get the situation resolved, and our internet service is always a touch spotty because of our location. We are forced to use satellite connection for our internet usage, and the dish occasionally goes down. As far as the long distance service goes, well," she glanced away, schooling her features to look frustrated, "The phone company is working on the lines about six miles out of town and managed to cut one."
"So, basically, what you're telling me is there no way to get in touch with the outside world?" Jane scoffed in disbelief.
"Well, detective, you could always write a letter," Regina offered with a saccharine sweet smile. "I know it's terribly inconvenient. Believe me, I understand completely. Driving into a different town just to make calls isn't ideal for me, either. Hopefully," she quickly added, mentally kicking herself for offering up that unintentional option without knowing if the two strangers could even get out of the town, "your car will be repaired in a day or two, and you'll be able to return home."
"Yeah, here's hoping," the lanky brunette replied as she popped a fry into her mouth and began to chew slowly.
"Madam Mayor," Maura stepped back in, tired of the odd back-and-forth the other two women were having, "Do you think Belle would mind giving us a tour of your town?"
"Not at all. It's rare she has a chance to share her knowledge of the town with someone who doesn't live here. We're," the mayor gave her best self-depreciating shrug, "a touch outside the normal traveling routes, and not many people are interested in the history of a quiet little town like ours."
The detective snorted. "Because it's full of quiet little people?"
"Jane!" Maura rolled her eyes. "It sounds wonderful. Where can we meet her?"
"I'm actually going by the library next to drop off a book after I pick up my coffee." Regina raised said book and pointed to the coffee waiting on the counter. "I'll let her know. I'm sure she'll come right over."
Maura's smile grew. "Thank you, Madam Mayor."
"Yeah, thanks," Jane grumbled as the woman stood to leave. Under her breathe, she added for her companion to hear, "I'm eating my pie first, though."
Well, this has been fun! It's been so long since I marathon wrote something, I'd forgotten how neat it is to do it. Thanks for all the reviews and replies. I'm honestly have a great time reading them all, and I appreciate the time you all are taking to leave them. Also, thank you so much for the welcome backs. That does wonderful things for my writer's ego. ;-D
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