Chapter 2: Memories and Nightmares

Poe was quietly petting Beebee-Ate, his loyal red bloodhound, in an attempt to relax the excited dog. Being a bloodhound, Beebee could smell Rey all over the parlour and began frantically searching for her. Poe fondly remembered when his companion would disappear from his side whenever Rey visited the base. One moment he was by his side and the next the bloodhound was running off to the carriage that clearly had Rey as a passenger. He broke out of his reverie when he heard the parlour doors swing wide open and there she was, the slight, brown-eyed girl—no, she was no longer a girl…

Poe's eyes widened in shock as his mind attempted to process that the Rey he knew before was the same beautiful young woman standing before him. She was elegantly dressed in a pale blue Empire line dress made of the finest silk. He noted that her usual three-bun hairstyle was replaced with a fashionable up-do, her dark curls gently framing her face. She had a warmth to her cheeks that reminded him of when she used to race him on the base and a brightness in her eyes that craved for adventure. This wasn't the Rey of almost two years back. There still was an innocence in her air but today there was a self-confidence and pride that was lacking in the past. Her brown eyes promised mischief and practiced wit. He could not believe that the woman before him was Rey, and as was his custom he knew exactly what to say to taunt a reaction out of her.

"Rey… Is it really you? I don't quite remember you being so cleaned up. You're usually running about in riding clothes for men," the mirth in Poe's eyes mixed with his cheeky words were enough to rile Rey up.

"Oh Poe it's just like you to ruin our meeting after being separated for so long! You clearly just miss me," two can play at this game she thought. "You're a day early, it seems someone is quite desperate to see me," she added with a smirk on her face. Touché!

"Not really… Beebee-Ate here was just anxious to get out of the carriage so we sped things up a bit." He gave himself a pat on the back for that quip as his dog enthusiastically made his way to Rey. All she could do in reply was roll her eyes, ignoring him and walking to meet Beebee halfway.

"Beebee-Ate! It's been too long! Has your master been treating you well? No? Oh do tell me all the evil things he's been doing," As if in response to Rey's queries Beebee-Ate barked excitedly, quite like a human reuniting with his long lost friend and catching up on lost time. Poe caught himself observing Rey and how happily she petted and spoke to his dog. He heard a ruffling sound coming from the other side of the room and it was only then that he noticed there was another young woman in the parlour with them. Rey's companion was also dark haired but slightly shorter than her. She too was very elegantly dressed but her eyes betrayed a fierceness and fire that was not common among the young women of the Republic. Only as he observed these things did he realise how ungentlemanly he was being and how Rey had completely forgotten to introduce them to one another.

"Kriffi—ahem, forgive my rudeness but I don't think we've met before, Ms…?" he sincerely apologised to Jess as he steadily walked to where she was seated.

"Ms. Pava. Lord Dameron I take it? Rey's told me so much about you," she grinned wickedly at Rey. "Although she never did tell me you were so handsome. I daresay she was trying to keep you a secret all to herself. I can see why. Tell me Lord Dameron, what are your intentions toward my best friend?" Poe was absolutely correct in his judgment of Ms. Pava, she was bright and had a fire within her that she clearly did not reign in as other women did. He had to be careful with this friend of hers or his mission could fail.

Poe clears his throat, feigning discomfort at such a bold question from someone he had just met, "Ms. Pava, I assure you I have the utmost respect for Rey and the banter you witnessed is one of old friends. My intentions are completely noble…"

"Jess, don't frighten poor Lord Dameron." Did she just call him frightened and poor? He definitely couldn't have her saying such things about him in public. He was going to have a word with her regarding how their plan was going to fall into place. "Poe, as you've seen Jess is quite bold in her comments, quite like me don't you think?" Rey giggled as she continued petting Beebee-Ate, who was quite content to just lay on the carpet and listen to his Master talk.

"Quite… now my dear, may we have a private chat in your Father's library? Ms. Pava, I do hope you don't mind but I need a word with my… err… with Rey," he said and blushed slightly at the near slip. He'd almost said fiancé even before his actual proposal. What the devil was that about, he scolded himself for the near slip of the tongue. He would have to be more careful with what came out of his mouth.

"Now don't be gone too long or I'll have to write the Lady Leia and Lord Luke for such scandalous behaviour! And yes Rey I did learn about some things in the Academy," Jess waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Good grief Rey's friend was going to be a handful he thought to himself.

As the couple quietly walked out of the room, leaving Beebee-Ate and Jess to get acquainted, they heard Jess shout out "Behave you two!"

"Oh Mother of Kwath!" Rey shook her head in embarrassment at her friend's comments. She was going to have another word with her later in the day. "Please don't mind Jess' inappropriateness. She's worse than me and as you would call it she's quite a wild child."

They remained silent as they walked the rest of the way to the West Wing of the townhouse where Lord Skywalker's library was located. As Poe was a gentleman he opened the door for Rey to enter first. He quietly shut the door behind him so as not to call attention to themselves. Secrecy was their ally and he could not take the chance that some eavesdropping servant may be lurking nearby.

"Tell me Poe… Why are you really here a day early? What's going on? My Aunt and I have been in communication and I know of the plans. Couldn't you have given me just one more day of freedom?" Rey was being overly dramatic she knew that. She wanted more time in town as it reminded her of her Mother. Even at this age a part of her still hoped she would come back. Going back to the Resistance Base meant going into hiding, leaving behind a life she had grown so used to in Naboo. Poe observed her quietly from where he stood, not wanting to scare her off by letting the wrong choice of words spill out of his mouth. But he knew she could take it, she was strong and he believed she had the right to know.

"It's worse than we thought Princess," he knew that the familiar nickname would help ease her, "we received word from our spies about three days ago that you're being tailed by a bounty hunter hired by the First Order. I had to get here as soon as I could because, well, you know why I'm here. I'm here to protect you… not as your bodyguard but as your soon-to-be- fiancé. You know the rest, I know I need not remind you."

Rey could not believe the words coming out of his mouth, his saying the words just made the circumstances they had to face more real. He knew the vow she made to herself not so long ago. Poe immediately noticed the panic in her eyes and in an attempt to comfort her he slowly walked to her and added, "I know this was not your plan for yourself Rey. You told me not too long ago abut marrying for love… You will have that, I swear it, but for now we must pretend to keep you safe. It's only until we've safely made it back to the base. We just have to pretend for a month; after that, when we get to the Base, we can go back to the way things were."

"A month long charade is too long…" she asked herself why she was so afraid of this faux engagement. It wasn't real, it would end before she'd even notice it had begun. "But as agreed with my aunt and father I need to mingle with the ton, pretend everything is at should be, pretend that my family is still loyal to the Republic. Kriffing hell Jess believes you're a Lord in the Republic not a Commander in the Resistance!" she nearly shrieked in frustration. She was desperately trying to remain calm but all of these military strategies were creeping up on her, reminding her of who she really was and that her fate was not with the ton in the Republic but with the Resistance.

"Rey… I will do what I must to protect you and if that means attending a few parties, making house calls, shopping and the like I will. I wouldn't be a very devoted fiancé if I didn't. As for Jess and everyone else around us, we will continue the charade for as long as we must. You need not worry about me being found out, the Resistance has allies among the ton and I still am known in the Republic as Lord Dameron. No one knows of my identity as a Commander in the Resistance, it's a very well kept secret. Yavin is too deep in the country for them to be suspicious of otherwise. My Father and the servants in my estate have gave grown accustomed to saying I'm off travelling and gallivanting as young bachelors do. That is what they know of what I do, only my Father truly knows I'm in the Resistance. And as far as the ton is concerned I'm a dashing rogue of a Lord always in search of a way to use up my inheritance."

Rey knew it was unladylike but she snorted at that last bit of his speech, "You just had to ruin what you were saying by adding that latter bit didn't you? Alright, I understand. It's all planned out and strategised. It's also rather dramatic and definitely has a touch of my Aunt in it. But then you too have your moments of melodramatics…" she eyed him mischievously, daring him to spar with her.

Ignoring her suggestion that he had a hand in this plan he decided to say, "Speaking of melodramatics, how dramatic were you in proclaiming to Ms. Pava your passionate love for me? She seems quite convinced of our romantic entanglement and that you kept my dashing, good looks as a secret so you could keep me all to yourself," he said suggestively with a waggle of his thick, black eyebrows.

Poe knew just what to say to make her lose her mind, but she knew him just as well. Their sparring of words had always been a part of their friendship, if you could call it that, and it was something she could never experience with anyone else. There was a moment in time where she fancied herself in love with him, until that fateful day almost two winters ago. He was the first man to ever snub her in a dance where the company of young men were very much wanting. And it was in that very party that she overheard him saying to a friend how she wasn't handsome enough to tempt him into a dance. She was a girl back then, only nineteen, and she felt that stab at her pride and insecurities. In an instant, all the love she thought she had for him disappeared. Poe never learned of her hurt and while she was conveniently away in the Academy she didn't have to see him, talk to him or write to him. Her education and training helped her forget the pain. She could pretend like he did not exist and she could focus all her anger and disappointment into becoming the best in the Academy.

And yet here she was, standing beside the man she claimed to loathe not so long ago, bantering with him just like when she would visit the Resistance Base every summer and winter. She was unconsciously letting her walls down again and that terrified her. Rey refused to fall for his charms once again, she'd only find herself in the same old heartbroken predicament of years past.

"If you can play a part, so can I. Really Lord Dameron, you aren't the only one who's mastered the art of strategy and trickery," she said sternly. "A lot has changed since we saw each other last. I'm no longer a child begging for attention and love. I know when a situation calls for an act of deception and that is all I am doing."

"I can see that," he quietly replied to her. He brought his gaze up to meet hers and pleaded, "Please Rey let us try to be friends? The mission will be much easier for us both if we agree to make peace with the past and be friends once more. We need to make it absolutely clear that I've decided to settle down with the heir to the Skywalker fortune. Everyone will consider it a grand match and will shut up about any possible suspicions of where our loyalties truly lie. We will pay our respects to the Republic, play our part and supposedly leave for my estate in the country to be married quietly. To get away with such a plan we need to be, at the very least, friends, not just allies. We only have one another to trust…"

Rey eyed him warily, considering the weight of his words in her mind. She did miss the old days when she could call him "friend" but she was afraid. The past was behind her, true; what mattered was the present and what lay ahead for the both of them. She told herself this as she also decided to keep better guard of her heart. In an attempt to answer his question on friendship, she stood up from her Father's chair, walked to where Poe was standing by the fireplace and reached out her hand for him to shake. Poe watched her with curiosity and— was that hope? No, she thought, don't be silly, he's just hoping to be good friends once more. Instead of taking her hand to shake, he gently held her hand, slowly bent down and softly kissed her knuckles. She could feel the soft curls on his head lightly graze her hand, already she could feel the slight shiver traveling from her neck down to her spine.

"Friends then?" he asked after, looking into her brown eyes. She stared at him for a brief moment and said, "I'd like that…," she let go of his hand and walked towards the door, motioning for him to follow her. "Perhaps we should go back to Jess, we don't want her suspecting we've been up to other… activities," she almost choked on that last word.

"Right, of course!" He gave her his left arm to hold onto and she graciously accepted. After such a heavy conversation, he could not help but talk about lighter more trivial things. "I noticed your Father particularly enjoys collecting bits and pieces of metal. I saw a lot of it in his library, along with multiple drawings of contraptions that had wings."

"You do pay close attention to details don't you Poe?" she smiled fondly at him. "Father believes that humans will one day be able to fly in the air through aerodynamics. If my memory isn't failing me, you too are fascinated by the possibility of flying."

"So were you if I may add," he said in reply. This was good, they were talking as they did not too long ago. He wondered what happened between them after that winter party he refused to dance in; she seemed so aloof and detached after it. He took it as her just being disappointed that he wouldn't dance but when she stopped writing to him altogether he knew something had changed. While they weren't accustomed to writing each other weekly, every other week they would correspond, updating one another on their daily lives and musings. Back then he considered it as a very innocent conversation with a family friend. Looking back he realised that perhaps it wasn't as innocent as he pretended it to be.

"Believe it or not, I still am. Defying the odds of gravity, traveling to new places while soaring through the air. It's absolutely something I could see myself enjoying. I mean if riding is thrilling to me, feeling the wind in my hair, riding fast without a care, I can only imagine how much more exciting it would be to fly. For all we know there are places beyond our wildest imaginings outside of this planet." Poe studied Rey's face, she had this wistful look about her, as if she were in that moment of flight, truly picturing herself up in the air soaring above the clouds and among the stars. Although she no longer was a child, there was a carefree expression that lit up her face, and for a moment he was once again reminded of how they used to race one another on the base's grounds.

They had finally reached the parlour doors when to their surprise it swung wide open. Jess had opened the door for them, "Finally! The lovestruck fools are back! I was so close to having Maz look for you…" she said to them cheekily. She rolled her eyes when she saw their scandalised expressions, "Oh for goodness sake I was only teasing! Relax! Although I do have to say Beebe-Ate here has been getting quite frisky. I think he's hungry for dinner. I know I'm famished and can't wait for dinner. Rey, shall we get ready then? It's almost six."

"Yes, we should change for dinner. I'll have Maz remind the kitchen that we will be dining at half past seven. That should be enough time to set the food on the table. I instructed them earlier today on the menu. Poe, shall we?" The couple and Jess left the parlour with Beebe-Ate following his master close behind.

As they walked up the grand staircase, Poe's attention was caught by the portrait hanging on the wall: Rey's mother. He remembered her and how young Rey was when she disappeared. Nobody knew what happened to her, whether she was kidnapped, passed away somewhere or simply chose to disappear. Poe knew what it was like to lose a parent, he had lost his Mother to pneumonia when he was still young. While it was a dull ache for him, he was lucky in the sense that he had closure. His mothers' death was final. But for Rey and her family to never have answers, to never have that understanding of what happened, was an entirely different sort of pain. It was a pain that would linger for the rest of their lives, haunting them unless by some miracle they find the answers.

He hesitated to comment on the portrait but Rey spoke up to fill in the awkward silence, "My Mother was beautiful wasn't she? I can't remember all that much about her but till this day I think back to what she said to me: 'I'll come back, sweetheart. I promise.' But she never came back. A part of me still hopes that perhaps she will come back, I suppose I'll never know." Poe could clearly see the pained expression in her eyes, a pain she tried to keep as hidden as possible. She was stubborn and strong in that way, something he came to admire in her.

"I'm sorry…," No other words could be said. "Don't be," she replied. "It was a long time ago. I just hope she's found peace, wherever she may be." It was those words that all the more opened Poe's eyes to the young woman walking beside him. She truly had grown up in their time apart. Although she felt a lingering pain, she knew there was no point in continuing to dwell on it. Rey knew it was time to focus on the future.

"Well, these are your rooms. I hope you find them to your liking," she smiled gently at him. "We'll knock on your door at a quarter past seven so we can all walk down together. Rest a bit my dear for you've been travelling for quite some time."

"As you wish, Princess," he smiled back as she let go of his arm. "See you in an hour then." He turned the brass knob of his bedroom door and with a quick last glance at Rey entered his room.

"Poe… Poe… Poe! It's Rey…"

Poe bolted up from the sofa bed in his ante-chamber; he had fallen asleep from exhaustion. As his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room he realised that the muffled voice and knocking that woke him up was indeed Rey. He checked his pocket watch for the time and true enough it was almost half past seven. "I'm coming! Be out in a minute," he shouted. He hurriedly shrugged on his dinner jacket and checked his cravat for good measure before briskly walking to the door. His hair was hopeless to fix at that point, it was always unruly to begin with and added to his roguish charms.

"Rey, Ms. Pava, I'm terribly sorry for keeping you both waiting! I hope you haven't been standing here long," he said apologetically as he offered his arm for Rey to take. As Rey tentatively held on to him she directed her attention to his face, she could see the sincerity and tiredness in his eyes. He was exhausted from his long journey. "It's no matter, I can see how tired you are. We could just quickly have dinner so that you can go to bed early." He nodded in agreement.

"Alright enough with all the romantic affection, I'm famished. Let's not keep the food waiting or it'll turn cold! I hate cold roast beef. Hurry along lovebirds," Jess said teasingly. She walked on ahead of the couple as she really did feel the need to satisfy her hunger as soon as possible.

The dining room was as elegant as the rest of the townhouse, but unlike other townhouses this was an additional private dining room located at the back of the townhouse and opening up to the garden. While it hinted the fashion of the time, it had a lavishness to it that Poe had not seen in any townhouse he visited before. It was unique and revealed a lot of the character of the Skywalker family, their desire for a certain sense of privacy away from the curious eyes of people on the street. The windows were as tall as the walls and were clearly designed to be swung open during hot summer days, allowing young children to run in and out of the garden and dining room. He could imagine a young Rey running in from the garden, calling out to her father and demanding attention.

The relatively large room had a high ceiling with a beautiful silver candle-lit chandelier. While the colour of the room was neither bright nor dark, the pastel green paint of the walls white embellishments suggested a woman's choosing. The furniture was of the finest mahogany with gold trimming, revealing that while the Skywalkers could be fashionable their practicality in their personal lives was important to them, there was no point in replacing perfectly elegant furniture in their private quarters. The floor beneath the dining table meant for six people was carpeted to match the colour of the walls.

"Shall we?" Rey said motioning to the table.

"Of course," Poe said, guiding her to the head of the table. He waited for Ms. Pava and her to sit before taking his own seat to her left. Rey rang the bell to call in the servants to serve the first course. They quietly entered the room carrying the first course of the meal: Soup, Vegetables, Roasted Beef, Spinage, Bacon, and Vegetables.

Their conversation steered towards the past year and what Ms. Pava and Rey had endured throughout their final year in the Academy. While they complained of the day-to-day etiquette classes, including those classes that taught them how to mange their homes, they spoke enthusiastically of their horseback riding, combat, self-defence and fencing. Every respectable woman knew those arts as they were vital in managing a safe home for their families. Ms. Pava proudly told Poe how Rey would constantly top their classes, particularly combat, horseback riding fencing, and self-defence. She later teasingly added that she was second best to Rey because she would let Rey win. To which Poe added how clearly he remembered his races and combat trainings with Rey. "She learned from the best in the Republic you know," he said to Ms. Pava, who in response laughed at his vain comment.

The rest of the meal passed in comfortable conversation and plans for the following day. Before breakfast, the ladies would pass by their favourite dressmaker as they all had a ball to attend that Saturday. Ms. Pava had some calls to make afterwards and thus Poe and Rey had the day all to themselves. Once dessert was done, Poe excused himself to retire to his rooms for the night as he knew the ladies still wanted their evening tea in the parlour.

"Oh yes of course Poe! Please go ahead. We'll see you in the morning for breakfast. The servants will bring up a bathtub and some hot water for you to freshen up before bed. Don't hesitate to ask Maz for anything and make yourself at home." Rey knew how Poe could stand on such ceremony, she had to make it clear that he didn't always have to do so around Jess and her. After all, they had to feign familiarity in the eyes of her friend. This was just a way for her to make it more obvious she told herself.

Poe surprised Rey yet again as he gently took her hand, kissed it and bade the ladies a good night. His back turned to the ladies, Jess winked at Rey as if to say "I told you so" regarding his feelings for her. She was getting used to their small gestures of affection and with Jess' reactions she knew that they were getting better at this charade however new it all was. Then again he was a Resistance man, a military strategist who knew what he was doing. And she, well, she knew the risk of being exposed if they were to be found out. These were dangerous times, she knew it and she could not risk making a mistake for her safety and for his.

He was on his black horse, racing with Rey to make it back to the Resistance Base. He could hear her close behind him, taunting him that she was going to catch up and outride him. "Not if I can help it, Princess!" He shouts back to her. The sun was high up in the sky, no clouds threatening to release rain on them, an all together lovely summer day. He felt so alive, so free. He loved riding there was no doubt about that and he enjoyed racing Rey whenever she was at the Base. She was the only one capable of matching his speed, style and precision. "I'm going to win flyboy, just you wait and see!" she shouted as she neared him and his horse. She was catching up to him faster than he expected.

As they rode faster through the dirt road in the woods, Poe was beginning to see the Resistance Base's main mansion, D'Qar Hall. The first to make it in front of the Hall's entrance would be the proclaimed winner and would have to take charge of giving Beebee-Ate his bath after the Squadron's scouting mission. They were out of the woods already and on the gravel path winding to the Hall's entrance. D'Qar Hall, the hidden estate of General Leia Organa, was situated on the opposite side of the valley. It was a handsome, large building made of stone, behind which was a ridge of woody hills. In front of the building was a stream that naturally swelled greater horizontally to the Hall's main entrance. The banks were neither falsely nor formally adorned. It was an estate that charmingly wove together nature and man-made structures.

Much of the Hall and land was occupied by the members of the Resistance with their combat training and fencing mostly done in-doors and underground. It was a place Poe had learned to call home for some time and indeed it was a beautiful home, one that came quite close to Yavin Hall. But he knew that for Rey, the Hall reminded her of the heavy weight on her shoulders, an inheritance to a battle that she wasn't sure she could win or lead one day. "Hurry up Rey or you'll be washing Beebee-Ate tomorrow!" he teased. He looked behind him only to find that Rey was nowhere to be found. He stopped his horse, worried that something had happened to Rey. He couldn't hear anything around him. It was absolute silence, how could she have disappeared without him noticing? He motioned his horse to gallop back to the end of the road, towards the woods.

"Rey! Where are you? Rey!" He heard a shuffle of hooves by the neck of the woods and there clear as day was a black horse with a rider dressed in black as well, his face hidden by a black mask. In his arms was an unconscious Rey, her horse nowhere to be found. The rider was taunting him, daring him to chase after him and rescue her. No, no this couldn't be happening! He had to go after her, even if that meant falling into a trap of the First Order. How could they know their location? Should he alert the Base? Without a second thought he chased after Rey and her unknown kidnapper.

"Rey! The First Order!" He was shouting as loud as he could, not to wake her up but for those who might be near to hear him and be warned that a First Order rider had found Rey and him.

"Rey!" he kept shouting out and as he tried to chase after her and speed up his horse, everything seemed to slow down. The world around him was changing, the clouds creeped in, the rumbling of thunder in the clouds followed by lightning shedding the only light that earlier the sun had provided. The rain was pouring on him now, his horse struggling. He could no longer see the black figure and Rey.

It was too late… they were both gone. He had failed his mission, he failed to protect Rey. He failed her…