The grandfather clock struck midnight alerting Jess and Rey that it was time to retire to their rooms. Rey let out a long, tired yawn, ready to walk up to her rooms and get a good night's sleep. "Jess, I'm exhausted, let's get some rest. We've both got to get out of bed early for our appointment in the dressmaker. I doubt you'd want to look like the dead when we go out in public tomorrow. Who knows who we might run into! Lord Wexley for example…" she giggled to her best friend as she got up from the sofa and walked to the parlour doors.
"I cannot understand how you could ever think I'd fall for Lord Wexley. He's such a giant goofball! He's ridiculous really," Jess replied with clear annoyance. She wasn't used to being teased as she was quite often the one taunting her friends and acquaintances.
"Oh don't be such a grump. I was only teasing. I only brought him up because he seemed quite taken by you during our last ball!" Rey added, further teasing her friend. Jess was too tired to think of a quip in reply and grumpily harrumphed instead. They were softly treading by Poe's rooms when Rey suddenly heard muffled cries. Jess was too lethargic to pay any heed to the sound coming from his room and simply walked past.
"Jess, I'll see you in the morning. Good night! I realised that I left something in the library," Rey lied. There was no point in letting Jess know that she'd be bursting into Poe's rooms to check on the terrified cries coming from the inside. She heard a mumbled good night from Jess and knew that her best friend would have gladly retired to her own rooms before her.
Rey waited to hear Jess lock her chamber doors before she quietly entered Poe's locked room. She had a master key that opened all the rooms of their home, a safety precaution on her part. She immediately shut and locked the door to Poe's ante-chamber and clearly heard the terrified cries coming from his bedroom. "Rey! Where are you?! Rey! Rey! The First Order! Rey!" he cried out, his voice laced with fear and pain. Momentarily stunned at his words, she could not move from her spot, she wondered why she was in his nightmare and what was going on.
He cried her name out once more and she took this as a sign that she needed to enter his bedchamber. She opened it to find him on his four-poster bed thrashing about and frightfully near the edge. "Poe" she said as she neared his bed. "Poe, wake up. It's only a dream. Poe…" She tentatively moved closer to him, slightly afraid for she had never been to a man's room before, much more a man's bed. Unsure as to what she should do, but determined to wake him, she moved closer to him, gently touched his arm and desperately tried to nudge him awake. "Poe, wake up please? It's all just a bad dream. Wake up!" all sense of propriety gone, she sat beside him and tenderly touched his cheeks in an attempt to calm him and wake him up from his dream. "Poe, it's Rey. I'm right here. Poe, the First Order isn't here. Poe, please wake up, please. You're safe," she said to soothe him. Her hand continued its soothing ministrations on his face, smoothing back the dark curls from his forehead, and it was as she did this and whispered calming words to him that he half woke from his nightmare.
"Rey, I thought you were gone. I thought I had failed you," he choked out. He was evidently in between the dream world and wakefulness. He would never choose such words if he were completely awake she thought. "No, I'm right here Poe. I'm alright, you haven't failed me," she quietly replied to him.
"I'm so sorry Rey. I didn't mean to leave you back there. We shouldn't have had that race to begin with," he replied still not fully awake as he held on to her arm. She got up from his bed, walked to the nearby table and poured a glass of water for him to drink. Perhaps that would wake him completely. "Here Poe, drink up, this should help wake you up. You were merely dreaming. I'm safe. We're both safe." She helped him hold the glass to his lips, emptying it till there wasn't a drop left. He was more lucid with each gulp of water, realisation dawning on him that indeed it had just been a nightmare.
Poe nodded at her as she gently took the glass away from his lips, "Thank you…" was all he could say, for although he did not show it he was ashamed of being found in such a state. Rey did not want to leave him but she knew he needed his rest, "I'll wait for you to fall back asleep and then I shall take my leave." She noticed that he was more calm now, breathing steadily and heart rate slowing down. She began to hum a lullaby, one that sounded very much like the one he taught her not so long ago. It was the lullaby his mother used to sing to him as a child, a song that never failed to calm his nerves and put him into a deep, peaceful slumber. Within a minute or two of Rey's soothing hums, he fell back asleep with the thought that she was safely with him.
Rey quietly stood up from his bed, walked to Beebe-Ate and whispered softly, "Keep a good watch on your Master Beebee, let's hope that he sleeps well through the night now." She opened the door to his ante-chamber and carefully shut the door so as not to wake him. While she could not help but wonder what brought on his nightmare, she was too exhausted to reflect on it, she too desperately craved sleep.
As she lay in bed, she fell asleep with the thought that perhaps Poe was more concerned for her than he showed and would consciously like to admit.
She had woken up because Maz had drawn the curtains wide open, telling her without words that it was time to get ready for the dressmaker's. While her eyes were still adjusting to the bright sunlight spilling into her room, she revelled in the fact that it was another day in Naboo. She didn't have to worry all that much yet regarding the Resistance and had another day to enjoy just being a young woman in a city that was so alive and vibrant. But then she remembered Poe had arrived the day before and she had comforted him as he screamed her name in his nightmares. Poe was the constant, present reminder that she had a duty to the Resistance, a mission to fulfil no matter how desperately she wanted to run from it. No matter how hard she tried, she could not keep running from her destiny.
"Such dark thoughts in the morning," she muttered to herself with exasperation. "No, I shall enjoy this morning with Jess. I must enjoy myself! No point in overthinking the future." Maz overheard her saying these things as she helped her get ready, wise as always she told Rey, "Dear child, I know how afraid you are of the future and what it holds. I've known you since you were very young, but you have to know that the person you've been waiting for, I can see it in your eyes, you've known it all along… she's not coming back. The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead my dear girl. And as painful and terrifying as that may be to you, you must remember you are not alone in this." Rey did not know what to reply to her, she was so accustomed to Maz's comforting words but this, this was both comfort and pain.
"I'm so afraid Maz… what if I cannot be who they expect me to be? What if I can't be the leader they need? I cannot afford to fail," she whispered the only words she could get out of her. "You will not fail. Remember what I always told you about the light? It's always been there. It will guide you especially when you feel most lost and afraid. Just let it in." And with those final words she finished helping Rey with her toilette and excused herself from the room, leaving Rey to ponder on everything she had said earlier.
Not wanting to think much more that morning, she got up from her dresser to check on her friend. They were scheduled to meet with the dressmaker at nine and refused to be late. She gently knocked on Jess' door to which her friend responded by opening the door. "Good morning Rey of sunshine! My you don't look much like sunshine at the moment though, you seem to have storm clouds above your head," her friend greeted. "I do not have a storm cloud above my head! I was just troubling myself over not being late for our appointment. Well, let's go then shall we?" she was hurrying her friend in an attempt to change the subject and quickly erase the worry lines creasing her forehead.
They walked hurriedly to their awaiting carriage, eager to see their dresses for the much anticipated winter ball. It was the annual Winter Ball privately thrown by Hosnian royalty. Only the prominent families of the Republic were invited to this ball, thus forcing Rey and Jess to dress their most elegant. They were graduates of the Academy as well as heirs from families in the Republic, Poe too had to be at his absolute best at the ball for they would be at the mercy of the Republic's scrutiny.
Clark and Debenham was the most fashionable dressmaker in Naboo, known for their cuts that accentuated whatever assets a woman physically had. They knew precisely how to design a dress according to what the woman wanted to call attention to or hide, with propriety considered of course, in order to be deemed more beautiful. While the large boutique was open to the public at certain hours of the day, appointments could be made as well wherein the whole boutique was closed off and ladies who had scheduled their fittings with them had all the privacy and attention they needed. As it was still early in the day, Rey and Jess were one of the few ladies that had a scheduled appointment. While awaiting their gowns to be brought out, they were served hot chocolate, biscuits and toast.
Both young ladies were excitedly waiting for their gowns, it was their final fitting and they were both eager to see the final alterations made to the elegant designs they had chosen. "I can't recall the last time I was so excited for a ball gown," Rey exclaimed with anticipation. "So that's the effect Lord Dameron has on you then Rey? You become more fashionable and concerned of your dress," teased Jess with a naughty grin on her face. "Are you saying I'm not fashionable Jessika? If I do recall, I was the one who chose that design and colour to accentuate your figure and reflect your personality," Rey pointed out and ignored Jess' quip regarding Poe. She wasn't in the mood to think about him and needed some time to better prepare herself for what was surely to come.
"You did indeed and I'm very thankful of that. If I had the choice I'd probably be walking around in more comfortable clothes! You know I hate these bloody corsets," proclaimed Jess in exasperation. As she said this, the ladies attending to them finally brought out their gowns. While their gowns were of the highest quality silk, the elegance of their attire in the ball was simple enough that it would compliment the masks they were required to wear. The Winter Ball that year followed a masquerade theme, stating in the invites for all guests that attire for the night strictly called for masks as well.
Rey's ballgown was made of white satin, with the middle of her dress accentuated by blond lace starting from her waist all the way down. Her sleeves were long and fitted, showing off her femininely shaped arms. To add to her evening ensemble for the ball, she had them sew an evening royal blue robe to be worn on top of her gown and meant to match the royal blue mask she had them create for her as well. Jess' ballgown was slightly similar to Rey's only her sleeves were short and straight, with her evening robe and mask coloured red to suit her fiery personality. Both were delighted at how exquisitely perfect the gowns fit them and further brought out their beauty.
Jess was the first to speak up, "Lord Dameron will be stunned into silence when he sees you. I foresee him kissing you by the end of the ball!" Rey could not help herself, she blushed at such a thought. While the thought did not cross her mind as she was looking at herself in the mirror, she had imagined before what it would be like for Poe to kiss her, to want her. "Don't be ridiculous Jess. Poe could not keep that smart mouth of his shut to save his life!" There was truth in that statement and it amused her to no end, she remembered how often Poe would get into trouble all thanks to his quips. They quickly paid for everything they had made and were assisted into their carriage. Their gowns and accessories would be delivered to their address later that afternoon.
On their carriage ride home, Jess spoke up and posed a serious question to Rey, "If Lord Dameron were to propose to you soon, what would you say Rey? Think about it seriously before you answer me and before you do I will say this as your best friend: he truly seems like a good man. He will be a good husband and I'm pretty sure will also be a doting father. He's of a good, noble family and he seems to be very much in love with you. If you doubt it, I see the way he looks at you when you're talking or telling a story. We've only had one meal with him and already I see how he looks at you." Everything Jess said shocked Rey into silence. Were they both really that convincing in their act? Truly they must be so good at it that Jess actually thought Poe was in love with her. This was what they needed to happen, so why did Rey feel pain at the thought that their charade was brilliantly played by both of them?
"If he were to propose to me… I would agree to marry him. I know he's a good man and I enjoy his company very much. We'd make quite a match and the Republic would undoubtedly approve of it. Two noble families loyal to the Republic and uniting as one would be looked upon positively. But I cannot in good conscience say that I am already in love with him," Rey finally said. This last statement was true. How could she love someone who broke her heart not too long ago?
"Not all of us can afford to be romantic and fall in love Rey," Jess said to her quietly. "Sometimes we must choose duty over heart." That truly struck a chord in Rey, if Jess only knew how much she understood duty over heart. "You are quite right, Jess," was all she could reply as their carriage jolted to a stop in front of their residence.
The morning light spilled through the heavy crimson curtains and woke Poe. He groaned slightly, not wanting to remove himself from the comfort of the bed and thick blankets. Beebee-Ate noticed his master stirring underneath the covers and took this as a sign to further wake him by immediately jumping atop the bed to join Poe. "Oomph! Buddy… I think you're getting too heavy to still be climbing on to me like this." Excitable and cheerful as always, Beebee began to lick his master's face in an attempt to alert him of his hunger and the scheduled breakfast with the ladies that very morning.
As if trying to remind him of the morning activities, Beebee-Ate jumped off him, ran to the door and began to bark, signalling it was time for breakfast and he ought to hurry up. "Alright, alright, I'm getting out of bed now. Such a demanding dog aren't you?" he chuckled with humour as he removed himself from under the covers. He nearly knocked down the glass beside his bed as he did so but managed to quickly catch it before it hit the carpeted floor. He checked the clock in his room and saw it was a quarter past 9. Breakfast with Ms. Pava and Rey was scheduled for ten in the morning. Poe did not want to be late once more and hurried his morning ritual as fast as he could.
As Poe was getting ready, he looked back at the glass on his bedside table and immediately all of last night came rushing back: his horrible nightmare, his screaming for Rey, her coming in to comfort him, her gentleness and humming, her soft touch, her. He found himself blushing at the thought of all that happening. He was supposed to be protecting her and if the moment called for it, comforting her and yet here she was the one who took care of him. Not only was he embarrassed, his pride was somewhat hurt as well. What kind of military man allowed such nightmares to take over? He thought that perhaps for the sake of the both of them he had to pretend he had no recollection of the previous night. After all, he did not know how she truly felt about all of it, and in turn he wasn't sure how he felt about her seeing him in a moment of weakness. It was so intimate and it was also the intimacy of the nightmare that he questioned. While he knew that failure was never an option for him in his missions, how his heart fearfully pounded against his rib cage was a reaction he did not realise he was capable of. Thus, he resolved to pretend it had not happened, burying within him the emotions he could not yet put a name on nor wanted to at that point in time.
Poe was in the parlour waiting for them when they arrived. "Good morning Rey, Ms. Pava," he got up and bowed to them. "Did you manage to finally see your gowns for the ball then?" he asked good-naturedly. Rey noticed he didn't seem at all awkward, that was odd considering she expected him to react in such a way after last night's incident. He looked better though, as if he really did have a good night's rest. "Indeed we did," replied Jess, "and you will most certainly fall in more love with Rey when you see her this Saturday!" Poe's eyes widened with amusement, "Will I? Is that possible? To fall more in love with her? This must be a very well made gown then!"
"Don't listen to Jess. She's just flattering me and feels the need to pay me compliments as she is residing in my home," Rey said with humility. "Well now that we're back, I'm sure you're hungry Poe. Let's have breakfast shall we? Then we can discuss what we can do to entertain ourselves as Jess makes her calls after breakfast."
With the ladies having had some toast and hot chocolate earlier that morning, they nibbled on some biscuits as they sipped their coffees. Poe on the other hand was quite hungry and ate what their servants had placed on the breakfast table: coffee, eggs, sweet rolls, bacon and cheese. He was used to moderately heavy breakfasts on the base as training would commence a half hour after. This was his plan for the morning with Rey and something he eagerly proposed to her, "Rey, I was thinking, it's been quite a long time since we've sparred with one another. How about we have a go at it while Ms. Pava is off making her calls? I think it would definitely be less embarrassing for me to beat you without her as a witness," he said to her with a wink. He really was infuriating, she'd wipe that smirk off his face as soon as he'd find himself on the ground. "If I didn't know any better Poe, you're trying to get me into a compromising position. But no matter, by the end of our sparring session that smirk will be wiped clean off your face and you'll be begging me for mercy," she said with such sweetness it was quite terrifying. Poe only made it seem like he underestimated her, but really the strategist in him could tell by Rey's gait that she was indeed stronger than she looked and absolutely less innocent than she made it seem. "It's a date then," he said with a grin. Jess rolled her eyes, "Ugh, will the two of you get a room already?"
Immediately after breakfast, they went their separate ways, Jess to make her calls, Rey and Poe to change into sparring attire. Rey was quite excited to show Poe just how much she had improved over the past year and a half. It really had almost been two years since they last sparred with one another and she was determined to show him why she was top of their class. She remembered quite well how she lost to him the last time they had practiced. Poe refused to go easy on her even if she was a woman, something she was both thankful for and annoyed at as well. He was more than a formidable opponent as he was excellent at observing her moves as well as strategising quickly what to do next. Being the Resistance's leading strategist and rider, she knew why he was so quick, but she had new tricks up her sleeve that would make their sparring that morning very interesting indeed.
They met in front of Poe's rooms as they decided to walk to the sparring room together. "Now that's the Rey I remember well," he smiled fondly at her. She was wearing her hair in her usual three buns this time with her favourite custom-made off white sparring clothes. "Don't tell me you actually prefer me in sparring attire over gowns, Poe. We both know I look more polished in women's clothing." Poe watched her carefully, thinking about whether or not to compliment her, "Either way suits you. I'm merely complimenting on the fact that my last memory of you before you left the base was you in this sparring outfit," he replied to her thoughtfully. What an odd thing to say she thought, perhaps this outfit really is just that uncommon and memorable.
"You have a last memory of me before leaving the base?" she asked boldly and curiously. He didn't think she would ask such a question but he supposed her boldness was a good thing. Perhaps he could tell her what he observed during their last moment together, "I do… I remember sparring with you the morning you were to leave and go back to the Academy. I sensed you were angry at me as we were fighting, you put so much emotion into it that you became so focused on beating me rather than calculating your moves. I couldn't understand why you were so mad at me but then I remembered I refused to dance with you during the ball. So I took it as that but I refused to go easy on you because you'd be able to tell if I did. At the end of it, I thought that perhaps we would be okay once again but I saw this look in your eyes as you said goodbye, you were hurt. Till this very day I cannot fathom what I did to hurt you… That's why I remember how you looked so well. For the first time in a long time I saw you truly hurt and I could sense I was the cause of it somehow. What did I do Rey?" She noticed how his expression revealed pain, she couldn't understand why he would be pained at such a confession or why it should have bothered him so much that he was the cause of her hurt. Rey wondered if perhaps it was the right time to tell him what she overheard, trusting one another and all. She decided to stall in order to gain the courage to tell him what happened.
"How about we spar first? If you beat me, I will answer your question. But if I beat you, you shall owe me several dances," she held her hand out for him to shake. He refused to shake her hand and as he had continued doing since he arrived, he kissed her hand in response. "As the lady wishes," he said smoothly, "shall we?" he added as he attempted to open the doors to the sparring room. "Oh let me, this room isn't accessible to just anyone," Rey said as she brought out her skeleton key and opened the doors. As they walked in, Poe realised why the room was locked. The Skywalkers kept a wide array of weaponry in this large room and clearly access to such weapons by just anyone would most definitely compromise the safety of the family. He observed that the floor was matted in order to prevent slipping and soften hard falls.
They prepared by stretching and helping one another ease tension and knots in their muscles. This was their usual routine prior to a sparring session but this time around Poe was more aware of Rey's warm hands. He hadn't paid all that much attention to it all before and yet this time all his senses were aware of her close proximity and her massaging hands. He cleared his throat and said, "Well, ugh, I think we're about as stretched out as we can get before, ugh, sparring. Let's start then." What the devil was wrong with him, he was never this nervous around her, Commander Dameron of the Resistance was actually nervous about sparring with Rey.
The two dark-haired individuals readied themselves in their positions, poised for battle. They were moving in a circle, calculating when to make a move. Rey made the first move, tired of their circling, attempting to kick Poe's left side but Poe as usual was quick in his response, blocking her with his arms and pushing her away. She staggered for a bit but found her footing just in time for her to block his jab. They continued their dance, and it was a dance, for each movement was as fluid as the next. Neither of them was really hitting the other, the intention was not to hurt but to block each movement as swiftly as possible. This was a dance they knew well but there were new moves introduced and limits pushed, so much so that more than forty-five minutes had passed and neither of them was ready to give up. They were both on opposite ends of the mat trying to catch their breaths but refusing to throw in the towel.
Poe was impressed, "I have to say, you really have improved since the last time. You're more calculating and less emotional in your movements. That's an excellent change Rey. Okay, one last go, ready?" She nodded in reply as he ran to her and attempted to sweep her off her feet, not in the romantic sense, and nearly managed to topple her down. He took this as an opportunity to grab her from behind and pin her face down on the mat. She calmly waited for him to slowly let his guard down and as expected he did. She hooked her legs around him and pinned him down, only this time she was nearly straddling him in a compromising position. They looked into each others eyes and only then did they realise just how intimate their position was. She got off him quickly as if burned and walked off to the opposite side of the room. She was embarrassed and thrilled all at the same time, "I'm so sorry! That was wildly inappropriate… Perhaps we should call it a day and get ready for lunch." Poe was still lying on the floor, attempting to catch his breath and process what just happened, "Yes, ugh, I think that's a good idea. How about we call it even?" She nodded eagerly, her face still flushed and blushing from such close contact. As she was accustomed to doing when she was nervous, she began to ramble, "Perhaps we could freshen up then take lunch outside? I didn't ask our Cook to prepare anything for us as I expected we'd be dining out. I know of a good luncheon place that serves your favourite dishes," Poe had finally gotten up and attempted to school his features, "That sounds like a good idea. I'll pass for you in your room in an hour then?" She nodded in response, still slightly out of breath. "I'll have the servants prepare a bath for us," he replied, then realised how that sounded and added, "in our rooms of course. Separately. Yes, ugh, I'll go ahead then. See you in an hour." He bolted right out of the room, sorely in need of a distraction.
Rey did not know whether to giggle at Poe's reaction or to be hurt. She wasn't quite sure where they stood yet and although he had shown signs of attraction to her and care, she was afraid to hope it could become something more. She wasn't ready to have her heart broken once again but strangely she was not afraid of seeing what could happen if he did want to try. She was allowing herself to hope and that was enough at that point. As Maz said, 'the belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead.' Perhaps that also meant burying the past and looking to the future.
Poe was, needless to say, confused and intoxicated. Ever since he arrived in Naboo and was reunited with Rey, he knew some things had changed. He had been attracted to Rey before, that much was true, but she was a child then, a young girl still in school. He put an end to his growing attraction to her almost two years back because he believed her to be too young and unaware of what she wanted, that perhaps he was the only man she was familiar with and in consequence was falling for. He wanted her to have the opportunity to meet other men, young men much closer to her age and not as exposed to warfare and death. She deserved that much at least before really deciding if he was the one she wanted, if she'd ever give him a chance that is. With what had been happening in just these two days, he was beginning to hope that there was a chance. Now, she was a young woman, still young compared to him of course, but not as naive and even more headstrong and intelligent than he remembered. He could tell that she was more knowledgeable of herself and what she wanted, yet the question of who he truly was to her had yet to be answered. Further adding to that would be their mission and how everything would come into play; he would have to propose to her during the Winter Ball, and his rekindled feelings were growing. He knew himself enough that with the mission and the charade it would be inevitable that he would fall deeply and irrevocably in love with her. Yet he reminded himself that this was a mission, he wasn't supposed to fall in love with Rey. But if he was being honest with himself, he knew that he was passionately falling for her. So the final question he asked himself was: was he ready to give his heart in the midst of his duty, in the middle of a war where there was no certain victor?