(A/N) WARNING: This chapter has explicit content! I repeat explicit content!
BEWARE if you don't like that sort of things. You have been warned!
(Also I won't warn you again since from now on most chapters WILL have explicit content) \^.^/
Chapter 6
Grey eyes were eying me carefully as I stepped into the building. My third companion were busy talking with the woman in charge and therefore didn't see the way I looked around the big, crowded room.
I think Sirius understood what went through my head. I could've been there, one of those children. Orphans. Just like me. I could have ended up here if my aunt and uncle hadn't taken me in. I don't really know what I'd prefer, to be honest. I mean if you look at Natalia, for example, she has Remus and Sirius fawning over her, waiting to actually signing the forms and become her dads. If I would've gotten a childhood with parents that loved me I would have chosen that, of course but I couldn't help but wonder about all these kids that weren't chosen.
A boy sat in one of the corners. Alone. He held a game-boy in his hands. The other children played together. Well most of them but the boy in the conrner wasn't with them. The woman in charge of the Orphanage didn't even look at the boy as she spoke to Remus about Natalia, who was still in his arms.
Sirius stood next to Remus but his attention was on me. I felt his grey eyes burn the back of my head. I didn't meet his eyes.
I walked towards the little boy and knelt down before him. He looked up at me in surprise. The boy's eyes were big and hazelgreen. There was something familiar with his eyes, as if I've seen them before. His mouth was tiny and gleamed of saliva. The boy looked to be rather young.
"Hello", I said and smiled reassuringly at him. "I'm Harry".
The boy tilted his head slightly to the side and looked at me curiously.
"I'm Teddy, Mrs Peggs says Ted", he answered and lowered his game-boy to his thighs.
"How old are you, Teddy?"
"Five", he said, pushing his chin to his chest looking a bit nervous or unsure. There was however something in his face, those eyes that made me want to just hug him tightly and never let go.
He reminded me of me.
"Harry, are you ready?" Remus said from behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I nodded at the small boy in front of me.
"I'll see you soon", I said and offered him the biggest and most reassuring smile I could. Teddy looked down at his game-boy at that. I went up on my two feet and followed Remus out of the Orphanage.
"That's what they always say", was the last thing I heard from the little five-year old boy before I exitted. There was something in his voice that made shivers of shame slither down my body.
I sat down in the backseat of the car. Remus and Sirius were chatting away, about Natalia, probably. It was just not the easiest thing to do, to forget the disappointed sound of Teddy when I left. It made me want to go right back into the Orphanage and slip my arms around his small body.
Sirius and Remus chuckled a bit, making me turn my attention on the two men. They both looked at me with gleaming eyes and upturned smiles.
"Welcome back to Earth", Sirius teased with a twinkle in his grey eyes. Remus chuckled and I rolled my eyes.
"Where are we?" I asked as I realized the car was parked and I wondered how long I've zoned out for.
"In the downtown", Remus announced and released his seatbelt. "Sirius and I thought a cup of tea should be well deserved now".
Uh. Oh.
A cup of tea could only mean one thing if we're actually in the downtown...
Muggle's.
Which in itself meant something a bit worse. Okay, I admit. A lot worse.
The three of us left the car, I stayed right behind them as if hiding. It's been a couple of days since I left his apartment right when I was about to do something extremely stupid.
It's Thursday today, I just realized I hadn't told oyu that earlier but it is. I'm free until around two pm on the weekdays apart form Friday when I'm free the full day.
Sirius and Remus had wanted me to go with them to the Orphanage. Why they wanted me to do that, I'm not sure. I suppose they just wanted to spend time with me and Natalia. Moral support, perhaps.
"Hello Lupin. Black", a very familiar voice greeted us as we entered.
"It's Remus and Sirius. How many times do we have to say it?!" Sirius exclaimed Sirius dramatically. Remus slapped him on the back causing him to chuckle.
"And Harry's with us today, as well", Remus announced making the air thicken and silence grow.
Sirius stepped away from Remus so that I was completely visible for Draco. I felt his eyes burn my skin with its intensity. I could pinpoint the exact spot his eyes were looking. At the moment he was staring at the side of my face as I looked at the floor, hands shoved deep in my pockets.
The silence grew longer and the air grew thicker. I started wondering how long it would take before one of us would say something or until I gathered courage to just look at him. To meet his grey eyes and see if there's a difference since I last saw them.
The eyes that shone like grey gemstones in the bathroom. The eyes that glittered and gleamed as they looked from my eyes to my lips. The way his tongue licked his lips carefully. Hopefully. Just before he leant towards me, went closer and closer.
"Potter", he said. That was all he said. Just my name. Just my lastname. But it was enough. It was everything I needed to hear. The way his voice sounded strained and the name sounded forced. As if he wanted to keep my name on his tongue for ever. As if he didn't want to let it out.
I wish he hadn't said anything. I wish we could just have lived our lives as if nothing had happened, as if I hadn't met him at Sunday. That I was still happily married to Ginny and that I wasn't confused. Suddenly my whole ife was had changed. Sirius and Remus. Natalia. Teddy. Draco. Everything has changed.
How was I going to respond to Draco? Should I call him his firstname, since that's what I always have called him. Will it make things even weirder than before if I call him by his lastname?
You mean like "wanting to kiss a man while married to a woman"-weird?
I don't think anything could make that weairder. Apart from perhaps leaving said man alone in his bathroom.
I coughed and gathered all the courage I could muster and looked at him, into these grey pools for the first time in a couple of days. He stared right back at me, making me catch my breath. His grey eyes looked unsure, they lacked the sparkle, the shine that day had at Sunday night. I felt my heart cringe and a part of me felt like it was dying.
A weak smile was offered from my lips but I suppose they didn't help as he looked into the hollow of my eyes. I flet a part of me want to close the distance between us, wrap him up in a hug but I couldn't get myself to do it.
"Draco", I said, trying to sound as reassuring and warm, but non-romantic, as I could. I think I failed. I saw him swallow and look back at Remus. Shame and sorrow filled my heart and suddenly I felt broken.
"What do you want to order?" he asked Remus and a mask of cold indifference was set on his face. I never thought I'd ever miss his usual expressions. I'd rather have him with his sceptical expression. I'd rather have him with the defeated look he had when I found him the other day. I'd rather have him with... I'd rather just have him.
"One raspberry tea and one chai, please", Remus began before turning his head towards me. "And what would you like Harry?"
I turned my eyes from Draco to Remus. "Vanilla, thank you", I said and while Remus paid for the tea, Sirius and I went to take our usual seats at the round table.
"So, are you going to tell me what's going on with you and Draco?" Sirius asked as we sat down. I felt my face growing warmer and warmer as I avoided his eyes.
"Don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about, the whole shop could feel the tension. What kind of tension, you tell me".
I was completly and utterly speechless. So they did notice, then. Brilliant.
"You're just imagining things", I responded and tried my best to look believable. It didn't seem to be working as Sirius chuckled.
"What's going on here?" Remus asked while setting down a tray with the three cups of tea and Sirius sent him a goofy grin.
"He thinks we're imagining things", Sirius answered and gestured at me. I scowled.
"You mean about the sexual tension?" Remus asked.
"What!?" I spluttered, laughing breathlessly. The two men sent me the look. The one that says that I know exactly what they're talking about and that they're right and I know it.
"So, tell us, Harry. What is going on between the two of you?" Remus asked reasonably. I just looked between the two men. They both had their full focus on their cups of tea. Well not their full focus, I think thay have an unhealthy interest in finding out what I had to say for myself.
I closed my eyes, put my elbows on the table and rested my head in my hands. "I found him last Sunday, followed him to his apartment and almost kissed him in his bathroom", I whispered to avoid Draco overhearing. Sirius coughed and Remus smirked.
"You what!?" Sirius screeched, loud and clear while he turned his head to look at me. Grey eyes huge, but not as huge as mine as I shushed him.
"Keep quiet, he can hear you!" I hissed.
"You heard the boy, Siri. He almost kissed Draco. I don't see what's so schocking about that", Remus said as he stirred his cup of tea almost uninterestedly.
"You are kidding, right?" Remus asked, turning to send Remus a stern look. "He is married, you know. To a woman."
Remus shrugged. "And he's interested in a man, thank you for pointing out the obvious", he responded sending a stern look right back at Sirius who bit back a retort.
"Could you be any louder?" I asked, sarcastically.
"In fact, we can. Have you ever thought about sleeping with a man?" Remus asked, making both me and Sirius splutter and extremely grateful we hadn't had a taste of our tea yet.
I blushed. "Yes", I answered weakly and silently to make certain Draco would not hear that.
"You what!?" Sirius screeched once again. Remus looked at him amused but sternly.
"How are you still surprised?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at Remus. I chuckled but after that one glance Sirius sent me I regretted it.
"Draco!" he called and I had no idea my eyes could get that big. But they did and I felt a sudden want to maim or seriously injure Sirius.
Draco came to stand next to our table, stubbornly not-looking-at-me. "Yes?" he asked.
"Take a seat", Remus began and could have sworn they suddenly reminded me of the Weasley twins. Before Draco could contradict Remus added, "Muggle's is completely empty apart from the three of us. Sit".
Draco looked completely gobsmacked as he sat down without a second word. He risked a glance at me and our eyes met for just a second, but it was the most intense second I have ever had in my entire life. So far.
I looked away.
"When I was fourteen I never thought anyone would ever love me", Remus began while stirring his tea. Sirius looked almost ashamed and then Remus laughed. "My classmates used to spread rumours of me having some sort of 'curse'. I was always a lonely wolf, you see. They said that there was something with me that drove people away but then..." he continued but was cut off as Sirius' hand grabbed his stirring hand. Remus smiled at his lover and tilted his head to the side, Sirius smiled back.
Remus turned to look at me. "That's when your dad, Sirius and Peter started standing up to me and the four of us was inseparateble from that moment and for years to come." Remus turned back to look at Sirius, loosened his grip on the spoon and instead squeezed Sirius' hand, giving him the sweetest smile I had ever seen.
"And now we're soon-to-be dads", Remus said and Sirius chuckled.
"You're such a sap!" Sirius announced with a huge, hearwarming grin and gleaming eyes that were locked with Remus.
Things went from tense to uncomfortable rather quickly! I felt like I was intruding on a private moment between the two men. Draco looked questioningly at me, head tilted to the side. I gather he felt the same way I did. His brows were furrowed and his lips were tense. I would have giiven more than a penny to hear his thoughts as he looked into my eyes. The warmth I've grown accustomed to was gone.
"What do you do?" Sirius' voice came from nowhere and I turned my head to look at him, confused. That's when I noticed he didn't look at me but at Draco.
"What do you mean?" asked Draco, probably more confused than me.
"I mean 'what do you do' as in 'do' on your own time. We've only seen you here at Muggle's and I've never thought to ask before but I'm quite certain you don't only exist in this little cafe", Sirius explained with a teasing grin.
Draco smiled uncertainly between Remus, Sirius and me, who were all looking at him now.
"I'm studying to become a professional dancer", he answered looking down at his hands as if he was ashamed of it.
"Sounds brilliant", I said. Draco looked up at me as if by reflex. His grey eyes were gleaming again, causing my whole body to grow warm and my heart to speed up. His eyes had their warmth back and that made my body react in an uncomfortably comfortable way.
I felt a tingling feeling over my whole body and suddenly I think that what Remus and Sirius said about the sexual tension was more true than I would have liked.
"Why?" Remus asked curiously. As Draco looked at Remus I felt like I could finally breath.
Draco and I didn't speak nor look at each other after that. I assume he felt the sexual tension, too. God, thta felt so weird to think of it like that! Espescially about the fact that it wasn't Ginny, my wife. I mean, I'm surprised I'm so okay with him being a man and all.
Around twenty minutes later we left Muggle's, Remus, Sirius and me, I mean. Draco stayed, obviously, since he works there.
When the three of us was standing by Remus' car I heard something I never thought I would ever hear, espescially since I knew what they were talking about.
"You never know unless you try", Sirius said. Remus agreed silently with a nod. I knew of what they were referring to and i couldn't help but feel surprised at that.
"I'm married", I answered stiffly and looked out over the downtown. The christmas decorations were up but not lit yet since it was only one pm. In two hours I have my first class of the day so I decided to go straight to the karate building instead of going home first. I needed time to clear my head too.
"Indeed you are", Remus said. "But the way you feel and the way you think are both equal to an act. If you would have acted on the way you feel and think or not you were still thinking about it and feeling the way you did. You won't be able to save your marriage unless you figure this out and to do that you have to try it. If the act doesn't add up to the fantasy then it was nothing more than attraction and your marriage can be saved. If the act is just what you hoped it would be, or better, then your marriage is not worth saving", he continued.
"The least you can do is think about it", Sirius added before we said our goodbies for now and hugged it all out. They went to their car, I waved them off and then went to work.
"You've been spending a lot of time together", Ginny said as she came into our bedroom. She took off her tracksuit with her team's logo on its chest.
Ginny just came home from her football practice a couple of minutes ago. I laid in bed, prepared for sleep, when she came in.
My eyes grew to the double size because she couldn't possiböy mean... him, could she?
"Remus and Sirius", she continued. "You've been spending an awful lot of time with them lately".
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I have. They are the closest thing I have to my parents. Please, Ginny. I'm tired of having to fight with you on this", I said exasperatedly. She turned around to look at me.
"I didn't mean it like that", she began and went to the bed to sit down on the edge. She smiled her sweetest smile at me. "I know they mean a lot to you, so I've learned to accept it. For you", she continued and I felt guilt at the bottom of my stumach start to spread. "I have a game this weekend so tomorrow I'm going away for two to three days. I woul've told you which tema we're playing against but I know you don't know them. I just thought you could invite Remus and Sirius here for dinner or something so that you're not completely alone."
I felt love for my wife grow in my chest as did the guilt. I leant forward to kiss her on the forehead. "Thank you", was all I said and she smiled proudly at me.
Ginny swore. "I forgot to tell mom that you're going alone on Saturday".
Well... shit! "Um... Ginny", I began. "I have a new student for Saturdays right after lunch so I won't be able to make it either"
"Well... you have to tell mom", said Ginny with finality in her words. I sent her a pointed look and she giggled.
That was the first night –or moment– in a long time that we resembled the way we used to be, it's just been so long since the last time. Too long.
On the morning I was back to the old routine of pretending to be asleep so as not to be any more exposed to her morning grumpiness and complaint then I already have to. Remember when I told you that Ginny in the mornings was like having an elephant dancing in the bathroom covered in chains? Well imagine how much worse it is when balls are involved. Well obviously not that kind of balls, you sick pervert.
Brilliant, and now I have that picture in my head. Wonderful.
Just a couple of more minutes of fake-sleep and then Ginny will be out the door, that's all I have to wait for.
The sound of a closing door came sooner than expected and as I threw the cover aside I noticed I had a problem to take care of. A rather big problem, mind you.
I all but jumped out of bed. I checked my watch, it was 10 am. If I was going to do this as planned then I had to get going!
I went into the bathroom, took off my clothes in a haste and piled it down on the cold stoned floor. The tall mirror at the opposite side of the sink was positioned on the wall so that if I went close enough I couldn't see my face. It was placed after Ginny's height since she cares more for her looks than I do.
As I was standing before the sink, my cock was throbbing, getting thicker and longer with every throb. My cock stuck straight out, I felt the sensitivity of the underside as a small breeze came in from the window. I shivered. I went closer to the mirror so that I couldn't see myself.
My hand reached down to grab a hold of my pulsing, rock-hard cock. I used my other hand to grab after Ginny's massage oil that was in the cabin above the sink. For a couple of seconds my cock throbbed almost painfully as the hand holding it let go. I covered my fingers with the slick oil and after having put the massage oil back in place I reached down to my cock to cover the tip of it with the oil.
I gasped, started twirling my fingers around and around the head until I felt my senses duplicate as I came closer and sloser to the edge. I stared into the mirror, pretending that it was another's hand undoing me. When I closed my eyes I saw him knelt down in front of, my hand long forgotten all I could see was a blond head where my thighs met. I imagined a tongue stroking my cock and the sensations making me shiver.
When I was breathing unevenly, my body feeling to heavy for my knees, just as I felt the throbbing feeling of an uncoming orgasm I stopped moving my hand.
My cock ejaculated just a little bit and I took deep, calming breaths before I started again. You see, the second time around is indescribably better. I could feel an orgasm around the corner and I saw the blond head go faster and faster. I imagined what it would feel like to drag my hand thorugh that soft hair as I came into his mouth.
It was like the most intense and earth shattering feeling you could ever experience. An orgasm, that is. It's so hard to explain but it's like everything goes black for just a second and then everything becomes clear as if seeing it for the first time.
I have to sya I was quite disappointed when I opened my eyes and saw my hand over my cock and my cum all over the mirror.
After cleaning the mirror I took a quick shower, followed by a stressful amount of time picking out clothes. I usually just pick the first things that show up without caring too much but I have to look presentable today. Okay, wishful thinking. More presentable is more like it.
The chosen parts were a navy blue, simple t-shirt –probably a gift from Ginny, once upon a time– and a dark pair of denims.
When I was ready to go I passed the kitchen where something caught my eyes. It was a note from Ginny.
Don't forget to watch the game tommorrow.
Ginny XX
That was all it said and I can't say I'm that surprised since we always kept things short and simple. I felt a bit guilty about the fact that I hadn't thought about her, my wife since she left this morning. I don't even remember the last time I wanked to her...
Now that there was nothing else that could hold me back from following Sirius and Remus' advice. Apart from the nerves, possibly. Probably.
I had decided to take the car to the cafe to cut the chance of me talking myself out of this as much as I could.
As if I wasn't trying hard enough as it already was. I've never felt this nervous since... Actually I don't think I've ever been this nervous. Maybe I shouldn't have wanked, thinking about him.
I stopped dead in my tracks just outside of the cafe. What the actual fuck was I doing?
He was in there. On the other side of the door and if I felt nervous before it can't begin to describe how I felt now...
Draco was in there and he had no idea what I was about to do, I mean, I myself, wasn't completety certain where this day would end. Hopefully with the end of my fantasies.
"Excuse me, sir. Are you going to get in or not?" a lady from behind me asked politely.
"Yes. Sorry", I said, took a deep inhalation and then opened the door and stepped into the warmth of Muggle's.
He hadn't seen me yet, just the way I had hoped.
I stood last in line, trying to build up a wall of confidence. My heart was beating faster than I have ever known it could. It was just such a surreal experience for me to actually stand in line to ask a homosexual man over to mine and Ginny's house for dinner. And possibly more.
"Potter", he said when I reached the front, my palms sweating and my lips formed in a nervous smile.
"Hi", I responded. He looked at me with an amused expression as well as a curious one. "Call me Harry, please", I said.
He smiled. "Harry", he said. "I like the sound of that". I wasn't going to say it but I did too.
"What can I do for you today?" he asked in a professional. I smirked at myself for the obvious answer to the question.
"Eat dinner with me", I said instead. "Ginny's out of town and I thought it'd be nice if you'd come".
Draco looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes. His lips forming a wellknown smirk.
"Fine", he said as if he gave up in an argument but the way his eyes were gleaming and his whole face radiating warmth I knew he was only playing.
I grabbed the blond man's hand while reaching for the pen with my other one. I set to write down the adress to mine and Ginny's house the same way I did when I wrote my number on his palm all those weeks ago. If I only knew then.
If I only knew then.
I left in a mess of emotions, waved him goodby nervously. It felt like being sixteen again and I saw that Draco blushed just as much as I probably did.
My breath was uneven and my body was shaking with nervous anticipation for the night to come. No pun intended.
As I left the downtown in my car I couldn't help but feel just a tad hopeful.
"How did you like it?" I asked. Both of our plates were now empty. I had made baked potato and filet mignon for dinner. I'm quite the cook, if I do say so myself.
Draco had looked nervous throughout the dinner and the conversations had been awkward. There was this tension between us that I wished I could just erase.
"It was delicious", he answered with a slightly nervous smirk on his lips. His very kissable lips. I wonder what other thing those lips could-
"Do you want a house tour?" I asked and stood up before my mind caused me trouble.
"Sure", he said and got up too.
I hope my nervousness wasn't radiating from my body. I was shaking furiously, at least it felt like it. I was still wearing the navy blue shirt and dark denims. Draco wore an extremely tight black shirt and a little bit looser black trousers. It made me wonder if he was wearing black pants as well.
"This here is the kitchen!" I almost yelled, my cheeks reddening and I waved towards the kitchen.
He laughed. "I know", he said and smirked that infuriatingly handsome smirk. If I won't die of embarresment I will die at the hands of that smirk.
I lead him through the livingroom, asking him about the Academy he was going to. Draco told me about this final performance they'll have and he had auditioned for the main role but he was yet to know whether or not he got it.
"I'll keep my fingers crossed for you", I told him and sent him the best smile I could and the way he smiled back to me was just like being back in his bathroom less than a week ago.
I pushed him against the wall and held him still, his breathing came ragged and his heart sped up. Just like me.
His smell danced around all of my senses and I closed my eyes for just a second and I let it take over me. Overwhelm me.
He still smelled of apples and cologne but the blood was long gone, thank God!
I leant forwards, impossibly close and looked deep into his beautiful grey eyes. They gleamed like gemstones again and the way he licked his lips as if preparing himself sent my whole body tingling and shaking with anticipation.
When I was just a grass straw away I noticed mine and Ginny's wedding photo right next to Draco's head and the moment was dead.
"I want to kiss you so badly, it's killing me not to. I just can't", I said and rested my forehead against his and looked at those welcoming lips.
"I understand", he said, disappointment evident. "I think I should go", he added and I nodded at him, not meeting his eyes.
When I heard the door slam I fell down onto the floor like a baby trying to take his first step but failing. And that is exactly what it felt like. I failed myself.
DU VET MITT NAMN
The day after was a struggle. It was the hardest, most infuriating class I've ever held in my life. Ever.
I tried so hard not to touch him, it's insane! His hair was not in the usually styled way it's been all of the other times I've seen him. It was disheveled and made him look unbelievably sexier than I've ever seen him before. Which I thought was humanly impossible for him. Nothing was.
He did quite good on the lesson. I think he did better than I had expected but he was quite fit. I lend him a karate uniform that didn't give much away to imagination. Just as I wanted, but I shouldn't have since my concentration was completely elsewhere.
When the class was over I sent him to the showers and followed after I had gotten all of the tools back to their own spots.
Draco was already in the showers. I was frozen on the floor, bag in hand, with full sight of his body under the water. I fought the urge to undress and go in there to him and do things my imagination couldn't give me. It took all of me and my self control not to give in to lust.
My eyes followed the curves of his naked, wet body and I did something that I haven't done in a very long time. I gave in.
(A/N) Hope you enjoyed this week's chapter, I have now decided to post a chapter either on Fridays or Saturdays. So sometime between Fridays and Saturdays you can expect a chapter every week.
Please leave a review, I read all and please comment what you'd like Draco and Harry to do if they were a couple!
FUN FACT: the wanking scene was written at a local train and the guy who sat next to me stared at the computer screen. When we had arrived at the end station, I can just say I've never seen someone leave a train that fast in my life. And that's saying something.