(A/N) Hello! It's almost been three weeks! *Sigh* I'm sorry, I was in an accident two weeks ago and hurt my knee, I haven't been very alert since then, so I'm sorry for the delay, but here it is, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 13

I sat in a small restaurant, waiting. I hadn't been able to either drink or eat all day. It was now evening and I was waiting.

I left the house half an hour ago, high on coffeine and impossibly nervous. My eyes searched the entrance to the small restaurant after a blonde head. My heartbeat quickened every time I heard the door open but my companion didn't come.

He was late.

We had planned to meet at six sharp. The clock was 18.23. Maybe he wouldn't show up and I was nothing but a fool.

The clock was half past six when the door opened for the umptienth time, the blonde stood by the seat opposite me. I rose.

"Hello", I said a bit nervously and smiled at him, as if I wasn't a bit pissed off for him being late. "Harry", I said and offered him my hand as he took a step towards me, arms wide open, as if he was going to hug me.

Awkward silence as we both withdrew and sat instead. I coughed, a blush spreading on my face.

"I didn't catch your name", I said and smiled politely at him. His hazeleyes were dazed and I could swear I smelled alcohol when he spoke.

"Jonathan", the blonde man said and smiled at me. He was the kind of man that you called a natural beauty, he had well defined features, round cheekbones and a small, pouty, pink mouth. He was very flambouyant as we started conversing. Voice more feminine than Ginny's.

The blonde hair was cut right above his shoulders and tucked behind his ears. It lacked the shine that I had grown accustomed to on another blonde man.

Don't think about him, I told myself. He's moved on. Though I'm not sure what he's moved on from, we were never exclusive, we were never anything. It doesn't mean anything. It was just an affair.

Jonathan said something but I didn't listen. I told myself that those alcohol dazed, hazel eyes were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen even though I felt with every beat of my heart the word "wrong".

We got our food, I had ordered one dish. He had ordered four.

As we were eating I asked him about school. He went to the same University as him but instead of dancing he studied photography.

Jonathan was nineteen.

"My life is an open book", he said. "Ask me anything". I asked him about his family, turns out he has two older brothers and very loving and accomplished parents, both were lawyers. His brothers were a doctor and a journalist.

When I didn't come up with something else I wanted to know, I told him the same thing.

"What do you want to know about me?" I asked but Jonathan picked up his mobilephone, which had started ringing.

"I don't want to know anything about you", he had said before answering the phone.

"Hello", he said before chuckling. "No, no! You are not interrupting anything at all." He rose from his seat, took his jacket and looked at me. "Thanks for the dinner", he said and patted me awkwardly on my injured shoulder before exiting the restaurant in giggles.

Well, that went fairly well?

"No, 'Mione, I'm serious!" I said exasperatedly as I sat in my livingroom armchair with a glass of whiskey in my hands. Ron and Hermione had come to hear the success of my date.

"I still think you're exaggerating, Harry. Surely it couldn't have been that bad", she said and I rolled my eyes at her. She and Ron sat on the sofa, facing me.

"No, Hermione", I said. "It was worse." Hermione lifted a delicate eyebrow at me. "The waiter came back right after Jonathan's departure and asked me if I wanted my champagne with the créme brulee. I mean who orders champagne on the first date!?" I stared at them.

Ron was laughing. "I still love that he patted you on the shoulder, thanking you for the food. That was brilliant". I glared at him making Hermione snigger.

"Have you tried some other ways of dating?" Hermione asked me an hour later as Ron was on the toilet. They were preparing to go home. "I've heard about this app", she continued and furrowed her eyebrows in concentration. "I think it's called Grindr. Heard it's good, a lot of gay men using it". Trust Hermione to do research in every area. It made me smile.

"Yeah, I can check it out", I said. She returned my smile for a second before her eyes widened.

"Oh, I almost forgot", she said and started digging in her jacket pocket before she sighed in relief and held a piece of paper up into the air.

I eyed it sceptically.

"What is it Hermione?" I asked, she handed me the piece of paper. As my eyes scanned it, realisation dawned on me. My heart was beating faster and my palms had turned just a tad sweaty.

"Ron told me", she said. She didn't need to say anything else because I understood exactly.

It was a ticket to the dance. His dance.

"You know I can't go, 'Mione", I said and looked at her, the hand gripping the ticket fell to the side of my thigh in defeat, brushing the piece of paper against my hip.

"I know", she said apologetically. "That's why you have to go. He has the right to know you divorced Ginny. You have to tell him. For both of you." Hermione smiled reassuringly at me.

"I hate how you're always right", I said.

I followed Hermione's advice and downloaded Grindr to my phone. It took just a couple of minutes before I got my first messages.

Most of which never got a response.

After a couple of hours I felt almost defeated and nearly desperate. I suppose I was, because the next person to message me, got more than a response.

Hello

"Hi", I responded, laying down comfortably in my sofa, hoping this one would be better than the rest, not at all as shallow as the rest of them.

How r u?

So he's one of those... Usually I have standards against bad grammar and shortage of words but I'm... I'm not desperate, I just want some fun, surely I deserve some fun, right?

"I'm alright, how are you?"

Horny

U?

Forget I even hoped for even half a second that not all gays on Grindr would message me like that. Hopefully I haven't met the right one just yet.

"Just chilling."

Wanna chill on my cock?

"Depends", I responded and rolled my eyes.

The man had sent me a picture and I found myself staring at the pale, uncut cock in front of me. I wetted me lips and felt the throb of my own length against my thigh as it began to harden.

This was ridiculous! I felt like a thriteen year old boy again. I've seen a lot of cocks but not this way. I've only been with one man, only seen one man in a way that makes my pulse quicken and breath uneven and cock rock hard. Only one man had been wanting me, lusted for me, and I for him.

Just one man.

Until now, that is. Until now. A man had presented himself, sent me a dick pic and before I had realised that I hadn't responded he sent me another message.

Top or bttm

"Whatever you'd like", I found myself typing and smirked.

Show me tight hole of urs

I gritted my teeth as I pressed my fingers on the screen to write the two letters. "No".

Plz, I bet u have butiful ass

"You're right, I do", I could hear Draco's voice in my head. Tosser. And I heard myself respond, you know you love it. He would snigger at that, lift his chin up just a tad as if looking at me through new eyes, his grey eyes would gleam.

Oh God, plzz lemme see it

I laughed, searched on Google for arse pictures and sent him one of those. The man's response was not anticipated.

I wanna b inside u rn, to fuck that ass hard

I want to undres inside thta ass til u bent ovre in plezure on my kichten waiting 4 me 2 cum over u n leave u boneless n wanting more till I take ur big cock in my mouth til u see starzz

My pulse had quickened, impossibly, and my cock was trying to catch my attention. It was impossible not to notice it as I felt my eyes glazed over with lust and in one –not so gracious– movement I removed both trousers and pants. I was suddenly lying in my sofa, stark naked from waist down, cock on display for the neighbours if they wanted to glance into my house. At this second I found I didn't really care.

Surely I deserved some action, right? It's been too long, I think I needed it more than I would ever think.

I gripped my cock firmly, gasping at the sensation of skin on skin. Pretending the hand belonged to someone else, or that it was someone else's cock.

The man kept telling me, instructing me, of how he would go about shagging me, how my skin would feel as he touched it, how my entrance would have been prepared for him with nothing but fingers and tongue so that I would really feel him enter me. He told me the movements of his tongue and hands as he would suck me after my whole back was covered with his come.

I didn't respond to him but I think he knew very well what I was up to. My hand was working me furiously into climax, following the man's instructions until I felt my muscles tense and my release covered my lower stumach. I was breathing heavily, laying my arms above my head, not wanting to rise just yet.

I laid there, on the sofa as something as thick as tar was throbbing in my chest and throat. Something started prickling behind my eyes as another thing dawned on me but I closed them and tried to calm my body until sleep was enveloping me and inviting me to a dreamless night.

I am desperate.

Another month had gone by quickly. I had gotten a job as a caretaker at the local police department. It was only temporary, until I found something else, something better. It was Hermione's idea, naturally, but it was Ron that made it happen. How he managed it is a mystery.

"It was dark and the lady didn't see anything", he had told me with a grin.

"Well, whatever you did, thanks mate. Appreciate it." I couldn't tell him that I hoped he hadn't broken any rules because that would be like telling the desert I hoped it wouldn't be sandy.

I just think Ron saw this as an opportunity for me to get my mind back on becoming a cop. It was our plan, after all and I was the one who didn't go through with it. It didn't appeal to me all those years ago when I found out I could be a karate instructor. Maybe it would appeal to me now.

Hermione told me I should take it, the job, because I've changed so much lately that maybe being a policeman would fit me now. Maybe it would be right for me now.

She had said that different things can be right for a person in different places of their lives. That sometimes we need to grow and change in order to open our eyes for a new path, and a new way of life. Like, a year ago, or just half a year ago I would've said I only loved girls. That no boy –or man– would be appealing to me in that way, that I would never want them like I wanted girls. Girl. Ginny. It's always only been Ginny.

I knew that to be wrong now. There was someone else, I just wish I had met him before I had gotten married and that we wouldn't have met for the first time at my wedding. That is just bad luck. I'm full of it.

As my mind drifted back to the blonde man, Draco, I came to think about the ticket that is still lying on my bedroom drawer. The dance was in a couple of days, but I'm not going. I thought about selling the ticket, because surely someone else would want to buy it. Someone that had actually planned to go. Which I hadn't. I am not going to the dance. I can't. Don't think it's becaue I'm weak and that I can't take the sight of him in another man's arms because it has nothing to do with that.

Absolutely nothing.

Surely.

It has to do with the fact that I'm a busy man, yes. Busy. I have a lot of things scheduled for next Friday, I have four meals of food that won't be cooking itself and I have a lot of wedding plans to go through with Hermione and Ron. I have a bachelor party to plan for Ron.

Maybe this doesn't seem like much but it is a full day of work! I am a busy man, I don't have time to go to a dance to watch a man being all lovey dovey with some egocentric, vain playboy.

I have no problem with that, he can date whoever he'd like.

I'm only fooling myself, but I'm not sure it's working yet.

Someone was suddenly knocking on the door, I went up from the sofa I had been occupying and left for the door.

It was Hermione. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she was biting on her lip. She was soaking wet, that's when I realised it was raining furiously outside.

"Is everything alright, 'Mione?" I asked, she looked at me uncertainly for a second before shaking her head.

"No everything's fine, may I come in?" she stepped inside not waiting for me to reply. She knew I'd say "of course". She hung off her jacket and removed her shoes.

"Have you accepted the joboffer yet?" she asked me as she sat down on the sofa. I went into the bathroom to grab a clean towell from a shelf and then offered it to Hermione on the sofa. I sat down next to her.

"Not yet", I told her truthfully. I wasn't sure yet whether taking the job would be a good idea or not. She nodded but didn't look entirely pleased by it.

"Have you thought about what you're going to tell Draco on Friday?" she asked me. Trust Hermione to jump right to the questions.

I was taken aback by the question, contemplating what to respond because honestly I hadn't planned to go.

Realisation dawned on her and she sat up a bit straighter staring at me. "You have to go, Harry. It's the right thing to do! You have to see him"

"Do you have any idea what that'll do with me?" I asked her.

"That doesn't make it any less right."

"I know, but what will you have me do about it?" I asked her frustratingly but she kept her eyes sternly on me.

"Honestly, Harry! You will go to the dance and you will watch him and when it's done you are going to him to tell him just how good he was", she began as if counting them off on her fingers. "And then you'll tell him you divorced Ginny and that you're hopelessly in love with him. He deserves to know", she finished and I glared at her.

"'Mione it's not that easy".

"If you don't think it is then it's not, but if you're just determined to do it then it'll be easy. It doesn't really matter, either way. You have to tell him, because if you don't then I will and I think it's safe to say that he'd rather hear it from you."

Sometimes I forget how difficult it is to argue with Hermione. Espescially when I know she's right. Agreeing is just sometimes harder than arguing.

I went to it. The dance.

The theater was dark but crowded, I hadn't anticipated that many people to show up. I suppose they're mostly just either family or friends, maybe even talent scouts. I have no idea about stuff like this. Like dances. But I was attending one now, another thing I never thought I'd ever do just a year ago, espescially not a school dance. Because that's basically what it was, I think, apart from the fact that it was a University and they were performing.

God, I sound like I'm judging I just mean that... just forget it, okay. All I wanted to say about it was that I hadn't spared a single thought about attending a dance just a year ago, the thought never crossed my mind.

So many things has changed since then.

Someone hushed me as I went to take a seat by one of the ends. As I sat down, a middle aged woman entered the stage, facing us. She introduced the audience to the concept and the story of the dance performance.

The dance was about a boy who had a dream to become a performer but no one supported him. His classmates were teasing him about his dreams because it wasn't socially accepted for a boy to be interested in dancing instead of cars. His father neglected him.

This made me wonder whether or not Draco's parents supported his choice? I know his father is a business man and surely he had wanted Draco to be a lawyer or a doctor or something of status but here he was. Dancing.

Draco was here, I was going to watch him. I felt my whole body fill with nervous anticipation due to the fact that I'll see him now. After months I'm going to see him, but I'm going to see him perform, dancing, something that he seemed to enjoy doing. It felt a bit intimate to take a part in something he loved doing and it made me forget why I was so against coming in the first place.

I smiled as I remembered when I was supposed to teach him karate and I remembered how we got there, me finding him in a dark alley, and I remembered what my lesson had led to. What everything had led to.

The lights went out again. A couple of seconds of anxious waiting before a single spotlight reached the stage where a lone figure was sat on a chair. Back turned to us and head gleaming white.

For what felt like an eternity he just sat there, unmoving, before music started playing, louder and louder, but still so softly. The figure started moving with a rythm, gracefully and fluidly.

The figure rose and my stumach clenched because of course it's him. That graceful, balanced, beautiful tosser. My heart was beating faster just at the sight of him as he turned around to face us. Maybe he'd see, I wonder how he might react if he saw me.

Draco kept moving, looking as if he was concentrating, he stretched his body, rolled his arms, lifted his legs as if to try the movement. Suddenly the music changed and become both faster and harsher as three other people joined him on the stage, two boys and a girl. The three of them wore jeans and a black top.

The three poeple approached Draco who had turned to them as they had made their entrance. The two boys moved almost as gracefully as Draco had and they reached for him to the beat of the song. The movements of the four on stage together with the song made my stumach tie itself into knots.

They were bullying him. Even though they didn't say anything their actions spoke the truth and I had never understood that more clearly than in this particular moment. The performers were communicating to us, the audience, using nothing but their movements and the music in the background. No words were spoken throughout the act.

One of the boys had pushed Draco so that he fell onto the floor, back down. It reminded me a bit of the dark alleyway and the big, black word on his forehead.

The music changed again, first it was quiet for something like half a minute before a slow song started playing and Draco rose to a sitting position very slowly and very carefully. This time he sat facing us, the light of the spotlight making his eyes shadowed and dark.

A piano was playing, and as multiple keys were played he was moving with them, flowing with them as if surfing on a wave. He was magnificent, I had never imagined seeing him doing something like this. He seemed so careless but careful, still. He seemed like he didn't care about anything, nonchalante and he seemed kind, and loving and caring.

It was different seeing him play a role, someone else. It was odd seeing the man I had grown accostumed to acting all different, moving all different than I used to think he could.

Now that I did know, now that I had seen what he could do and what he loved doing, I wasn't going to stop. This won't be the last time, I promised myself.

I was waiting on the stairwell by the stage for Draco to show up, most of the other audience had either left or was greeting or praising their family or friend who was participating in the dance.

A tall blonde man and an equally blonde woman was standing next to Draco, the woman had hugged him tightly but the man was just looking really professional. If I wouldn't have seen the similarities between father and son I would have guessed that Mr. Malfoy was nothing but either a talent scout or a professor.

The tanned man from the restaurant and the woman from the club approached Draco and greeted his parents. I dragged my eyes away from the pair of them. Maybe it was a mistake coming here.

I turned around to go but heard Hermione's voice of reason in my head. "He has the right to know you divorced Ginny. You have to tell him. For both of you." I sighed. Why does she always have to be right?

"Excuse me", a hard and stiff voice came from behind me, I turned around and noticed that Mr Malfoy was glaring at me, he was almost an exact replica of Draco, only a lot older, and hair longer.

I noticed I was occupying the entire staircase and apologised before walking down them to let Mr and Mrs Malfoy walk by me. Mrs Malfoy offered me a small, polite smile before following her husband out of the theater.

When I turned around to look at the going ons on the stage I saw that Draco was left alone by one side with no one but the tanned bloke. The girl –Pansy?– had gone somewhere else.

I narrowed my eyes and strode over to them, clearing my throat to announce my presence to the couple.

Draco turned around to face me, I could see the emotions on his face as they changed when he recognised me. First he was schocked, then he was confused and a bit pleased, lastly he changed his features to look professional and polite.

I was suddenly nervous, my stumach turning over and making me feel almost sick.

"I just wanted to tell you that you looked amazing up there", I said, he smiled uncertainly at me. "Not that you don't always look good, it was just that... that you... uhm... you moved well, you have a great body", I spluttered, my face bright red. Brilliant, Harry, just brilliant.

Draco looked at me with an amused smirk on his face, I looked away from him and once again noticed the handsome tanned man by his side.

"Well I, I just wanted to tell you that. I'm not going to detain you, you and your boyfriend should go home to celebrate", I said and made to turn around.

"He's not my boyfriend", Draco said and I froze. "Blaise, go and find Pansy, I'll be with you in a minute".

The silence was awkward as I turned around to face him again, he looked really good, I had almost forgotten that. He looked like he could've been a model or an actor, a person people had to pay to see. If you looked at him a bit too long you could be blinded, he was so bloody beautiful I can't believe I forgot that.

No fantasy can even begin to compare with the real deal.

"I divorced Ginny", I pushed the words forcefully out of my mouth in a rush, afraid I wouldn't be able to say it otherwise.

Draco looked shocked before he tilted his head to the side and offered me a small, genuine smile. "I know", he said and turned his smile into a smirk. I felt my heart skipping a beat.

Before I had a chance to ask him how he knew, he asked me something instead.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

I stared at him, what was he insinuating? It took a couple of minute –or forever– before I realised I was still staring at him.

"It's fine", he said, looking suddenly like a sad puppy, a very attractively, intimidating, pointy puppy. "I understand". It broke me out of my trans. Draco turned around to walk away, from the look of it.

"Are you asking me out?" I asked flabbergasted and saw how his whole posture stiffened as he froze in his tracks. "Because if you are, I'd say-", I began but he cut me off, turning around.

"What? 'Sorry, but I'm not gay, thanks for the offer' or something else rich like that? Just forget I said something", he said and instead of turning around he made to walk past me but I stepped in his way, making us stand impossibly close.

"Yes", I said. "I would've said yes, that's basically why I came here. To tell you that...", I cut myself off to swallow, my throat suddenly impossibly tight with both nerves and anticipation. He was so bloody close. If I would just lean forwards a bit I could kiss him, my lips would brush against his and these last few months would be nothing but a memory.

It's been too long. Would he let me? If I kissed him, would he kiss me back or would he slap me or punch me, would he scream at me. Maybe he'd look at me with narrowed eyes, furious and sharp cutting through my chest.

If I kissed him now it would be worth it, his lips looked so pink and soft and almost too kissable. Maybe if I kissed him everything would start to make sense or maybe it'd stop making sense because everything will be a blur. Maybe everything would finally fit. Like I know it had with him before.

Maybe if I kissed him he'd understand what I meant and what I wanted. What I had wanted and needed since I met him. If I just leaned in and pressed my lips against his, feel them pressed against mine, feel his body flush against mine, feel his tongue stroking mine. If I just kissed him.

But he beat me to it. He bloody kissed me. My eyes fell closed to the sensation of skin, his skin on mine. It was sweet and soft but also familiar. I had missed this, what a brush of lips could do to a person if they just let it. I let it.

Draco pulled back and I opened my eyes to look at him, brows furrowed. He looked nervous.

"I'm sorry", he said. "I thought that's what you meant and..." I didn't let him finish that sentence. I pulled him to me, my arms around his shoulders. I kissed him feverishly as if nothing else mattered because it didn't. I wouldn't let it.

It didn't matter what I had meant to tell him, with us actions always spoke more loudly when our words failed. I kissed him and kept kissing him as if I was making up for lost time, this time though I had him right where I wanted him, and maybe someday I'll tell him how I felt. Draco Malfoy, I'm hopelessly in love with you.

Someone once told me that finding love would feel like falling into an endless pit of lava. A content warmth and tingling you just can't get rid of. That everything that happens after you look into his eyes that first time proves you were destined to fall from the start.

I finally understood what they meant.

The End.

(A/N) This weekend I'll post the Epilogue, I hope you enjoyed the story and thank you all for sticking with me, thank you for all the love and the reviews. It means a lot to me that you liked my story. Thank you 3

I'll see you this weekend with the EPILOGUE!

/: Zirijava

FUN FACT: The conversation on Grindr is based on a real conversation my friend had gotten but on another app. Though she only responded with snail emoticons.