Well another speedy update from me. I just want to say thanks once again to everyone who has bothered reading this and I am so surprised of the amazing feedback I've gotten from this, especially when I wasn't expecting that many of you to even like it. So thank you once again, we're so close to 60 reviews and we have 70 followers and 41 favorites. Which is immense. So another lengthy chapter from me, because you guys are worth it. Love you all and enjoy Chapter 13!
(Tori's POV)
Staying with the West's throughout the weekend has been something out of a strange dream that I always seemed to want. Joyce had really gone out of her way to make me feel at home and I had enjoyed every moment of it. It seemed as if she was generally interested in my school life and my interests and I was actually able to talk to her, unlike I was with my own Mother. Lizzie was a lot of fun to hang out with as well, maybe it was the fact that she was completely different to Jade that I couldn't help but be intrigued by the tall blonde. On the saturday Joyce had to go to work leaving the three of us to do whatever. So of course me and Jade laid down on the sofa together watching whatever was on the TV, with Lizzie sitting down opposite of us drawing. I hadn't felt this complete in a long time.
It was around lunchtime when Cat decided to come over and hang out with us. I couldn't help but grin at the way Lizzie's face would heat up in a blush when Cat came round and how she stammered out a hello before running off upstairs. It was actually really cute. We had spent the rest of the day cuddling on the sofa watching films, it was just the three of us until Cat decided that she also wanted someone to sit next to and disappeared only to emerge a few minutes later with a red faced Lizzie. After that there was no more disturbance as I leant on Jade, and Cat cuddled into Lizzie's side. I don't remember falling asleep that night, but apparently I had drifted off halfway through the fourth film we had put in and Jade didn't have the heart to wake me up. I stayed the night, not wanting to go home just yet and to be honest I was really getting used to Jade holding me while we both sleep. I didn't have that many nightmares when she did.
Sunday had been Jade and I finishing any homework that we had to do, then I decided to go home. I really didn't want to overstay my welcome and I really didn't want Jade getting bored of me already. I winced at the thought of that happening and got out of Jade's car, smiling at her as she drove out of my driveway and away from my house. It had taken a lot of persuading on my half, by getting Jade to just drop me off and not come into the house with me. I really didn't want to, but it felt right doing it that way. As much I loved hanging out with Jade I didn't know if she felt the same way, and that was enough for me to tell the raven haired girl that I was fine and spend a night without me.
I sighed sadly when I couldn't see Jade's car and headed inside my house. I was not surprised when I was greeted with the usual cold feeling of emptiness. It was no shocker that neither Mom or Dad were in the house, and I have gotten used to not feeling anything whenever I walked through the front door. Except this time, my stomach twisted inside of me and a sense of longing rose from where I had desperately tried to hide it. I tried to ignore the disappointing feeling growing inside of me, that when I looked in the kitchen and saw that my Mom wasn't there making dinner. And when I walk through the door, she immediately looks up with a smile on her face then just talks to me. But who I was kidding I have been told many times that I don't deserve the treatment she gives me now, let alone that vision that I seem to have stuck in my head.
I sighed and walked further into my house, sitting myself down on my sofa. When I'm here alone, I always stay in my room because I can at least pretend that there is someone downstairs. The living room just doesn't feel right when I'm here alone. But now I didn't head upstairs, I stayed where I was relishing in the fact that I am alone. No matter how hard I want to say that I'm not, that I have Cat, Lizzie and Jade. I just don't have them not really. They will all leave eventually, go onto bigger and better things. Relish in the talents that they posses, their singing, their acting, their art. They will soon learn to live their lives without my presence.
Sinking back in the cushions behind me, I closed my eyes suddenly exhausted. I don't know how long I was asleep for but the sound of someone moving stuff in the kitchen, caused me to open my eyes panic overtaking my body. I don't remember locking any doors, anyone could of just walked in. I moved my head cautiously over to the source to the noise, my mouth hung open in shock. There in the kitchen stood my Mother, she looked exactly the same as when I last saw her which had been a long time ago.
"Mom?" I asked my voice quiet. Was I still dreaming, because I don't think I would be able to cope if this was reality. "What are you doing here?" I stood up and made my way over to the kitchen, keeping my distance from her. Even though all I wanted to do was hug her. I mean she was still my Mom, even after everything thats happened.
"This is still my house Victoria" Mom answered not even bothering to look up at me. A stab of pain shot through me which I desperately tried to ignore.
"You haven't been here in months"
"I've been busy, and all because I'm not here during the weekends or at night doesn't mean I don't come round" Mom said as she took out a few pieces of paper out of her purse. "I just came to give these to your Father" I hung my head and wrapped my hands in the shirt that I borrowed off Jade. Of course she wasn't here to see me, it shouldn't hurt like hell but it does.
"Dad hasn't been around in months either" I said not lifting my gaze off the floor.
I heard my Mother sigh then say "Well I'll just drop them off at his office" I lifted my head up to watch my Mom walk towards the door.
"Where are you going?" I asked as I began to panic, Mom can't leave me again, she's just came back now she wants to go. She can't, my breathing began to quicken as I watched as her hand hovered over the door handle.
"I'm going back out Victoria, you of all people know why I can't stay here. Even you Father knows that" She answered not turning to look back at me, but I could tell her shoulders were tense.
"But what about me?" I asked my voice just above a whisper, if Jade was here she would've wrapped her arms around my waist. Her fingers softly drawing patterns on my hip, in an attempt to comfort me. And it would work, because everything about Jade is comforting. Even her obsession with scissors.
"You don't need me, you'll go off to college at the end of the year like Trina did. You have to become independent Victoria, you can't have your Mom to hold your hand throughout your entire life" She said and something inside of me snapped. There was no image of Jade comforting me. Now I let all my emotions that were to do with my Mother spun round inside of my head and I have had enough.
"When have you ever been there for me?" I accused her my fist clenching in an attempt to hold in tears. I can't cry in front of her, not this time.
"It's called independence Victoria," My mother snarled and turned around to look at me. I recoiled slightly after seeing the look in her eyes, seeing all the hostility and anger behind them. Don't back down Tori, be strong like Jade. "Something you need to learn about"
"I'm independent enough, because whenever I needed a mother you wasn't there!" I cried.
"Don't cry, you're being pathetic" She snapped and I quickly wiped away the fallen tears. "You're being over dramatic, when have I ever missed something important in your life?"
I couldn't help but stare at her, I wanted to tell her. Tell her everything that has happened to me over the past few months. Tell her everything about Jade. But something was holding me back. What if she acts cold and distant and uncaring, just like everything else I've told her about.
"What about if I need to talk to you?" I asked as I looked down at the floor again and I was glad I did. I didn't want to to see her lips turn upwards into a sneer as she her ice like laughed pierced through my ears.
"You have friends don't you?"
"Yes but-"
"No buts Victoria, if you want to talk, talk to them. Because I certainly don't care" I didn't dare look up until the sound of the door slamming. A sob came out of my mouth as I brought a hand to my mouth to stifle it. Not that it mattered, no one else was here. I shouldn't be acting this way, seeing as I knew the outcome of it all even before I began talking to her. But I just let the strong feeling of finally seeing my Mother after months take control of the words coming out my mouth before brain could comprehend what was going on.
Wiping away the tears, I made my way towards the stairs. I can't cry over the mess that I am forced to call my family. They're not worth feeling this way, but then again they've always made me feel like shit. I stopped when I ended up by the side of the piano placed by my stairs. When I was younger, I would always sit on the chair my legs swinging freely over the side as I pressed the keys grin on my face getting bigger at every note came out. Sitting down in the familiar seat and stared down at the keys that seemed to be gathering a thin layer of dust. I closed my eyes and let my fingers dance across the keys, random notes being played out. I began to play a song and opened my mouth to sing.
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in a river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh, uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh,
And life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand,
There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by...
...the sharp knife of a short life, oh well?
I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls.
The music stopped and once again the house fell silence. Before the events of the past few months the eerie silence that filled the house didn't bother me that much. But now, every bump made me flinch, every sound made my panic levels rise. I know being around Jade constantly wasn't the best, and I know the more I stay around her the more I'll get attached to her. I pulled out my phone and dialed Jade's number not caring about the consequences that would affect my actions later on.
"What's up Vega?" Jade asked and I felt my heart beat a little quicker when I heard her voice.
"Nothings up" I lied "I was just wanted to chat. How are you?"
"I'm fine, cold though. Someones not opening the door" Jade said and I could hear the smirk she was wearing in her voice. "But I'm just going to go in there anyways" Just as she finished her sentence the door flung open and the raven haired girl who was still on the other end of phone walk into my living room. A grin spread out on my face as I hung up the phone,rushing towards Jade wrapping her in a tight hug that she returned just as tightly. "Did you hang up on me?" She teased in my ear, making a shiver run down my spine.
"You didn't knock," I whispered back "I missed you by the way"
"I missed you too" Jade said pressing her lips against my forehead, it felt as if electricity was coursing through my veins and my skin was on fire just by simple contact, and I wanted to feel it again.
There we have it Chapter 13, and the secrets of Tori's life has been more or less revealed. What did you guys think of Tori's Mom? I personally don't like her, but I'm interested about your thoughts. So review and hopefully we can make it to 60 reviews :D. See you all in the next one.