Here we have another update. My next chapter probably won't be for a while though. But anyways, here is chapter 20, and I understand I left you all on quite a big cliffhanger yesterday as many of those who reviewed picked up on. Also many of you kind of liked hearing from Lizzie's POV so I may do more who knows. Anyways enjoy this chapter :)

Disclaimer- Victorious is not mine :(

I have dealt with more than my fair share of my pain, and I was sick of it. I wanted it to end, but I know there is only one way out. A couple of months ago there was two ways that this pain could stop. One of them was Jade West, the other was death. Before, I thought that Jade would be the one to cure me of the pain, I thought that even more when I had fallen desperately in love with her. It's my fault that I'm feeling like this.

I had trusted Jade. I had given her my heart, and she squeezed it until I bled. I should've known better, but I was blinded by the care and love I thought she had. I was weak and I thought she would make me strong. She didn't it, instead she broke me. I wanted someone to care for me in a way that my family never did. So I turned to the raven haired girl in desperate attempts to fulfill that need.

I stared down at the phone that was clutched in my hands, it had been ringing several times none with the name who I really wanted. But who was I kidding, she wouldn't have called me and I hated myself for thinking of her doing so. I felt the dampness of my cheeks from my tears, and I knew it was time. I dialed her number into my phone and put it up to my ear.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and I hated what I saw. It kept ringing and ringing and the longer it rang the more tears seemed to fall.

"Tori?" Jades voice asked and I tried hard not to think of her, tried hard not to place any emotion to her voice. It justs makes it all easy.

"I need you," I said my voice quiet "You left me and tore my heart out of my chest"

"I know and I'm so sorry about that"

"No," I cried "You don't get to apologize, you are the reason this is happening. But it's not your fault though, no matter how much I want to think that. It's mine, all my fault. I trusted you, I cared for you. And now you're gone. I hate myself for it"

"Tori, don't say-"

"I loved you," I said my voice breaking "Fuck I still do. I love you way to fucking much, and it fucking hurts!"

"Tori I love you too"

"No, you don't get to say that. Don't you dare fucking say that" I yelled "I'm just ringing to say that I love you" I hung up the phone chucking it away from me. I kept on staring at myself in the mirror and I couldn't even focus, my vision was so blurred out by the tears. I furiously brought my hands to face and wiped rubbed my eyes until my vision began to darken. I looked at myself again and I could see clearly.

My tanned skin looked pale, and my eyes were red from the force that I had rubbed them. I looked like myself. Happy, perfect Tori it was everyone thought me to be. Hopefully no one would remember me as being happy and perfect. I want them to look at me and think, Tori Vega that girl was a complete mess. The girl that wore a fake smile throughout most of her life. Let them think of what they want as long as it's something that I'm not.

All throughout the months I stayed by Jade's side not trusting anyone else apart from Lizzie and Cat. But now Cat's gone, Lizzie's gone and Jade's gone. I have no one left. I guess that's a good thing, less people that care the better.

My hands were shaking, I had thought I would do something amazing with my life. See the world, accomplish my dream of living in the music industry. But now it felt as if I couldn't breath. Drowning in my own emotions. She had every right to say that to me. I thought back to that night that caused me to feel as if my heart was being ripped to shreds. I should've known not to kiss her. Should've realized that everything that she was doing was out of pity, not because she cared for me. I really wanted to believe that she liked me back, and fo a few moments today I thought she did. We danced, we ate dinner together, she opened doors for me, she had looked at me as if I was the best thing in the world to her. I had forgotten how much of a good actor the goth was. But I have now been reminded of that fact.

I opened the medicine cabinet and stared at the bottle of strong prescription of pain killers.I grabbed the pot and continued to stare. It would be so easy to take a few of them right now and end this suffering and a huge part of me wants to do this. But there is this small part in my mind telling me to not do this.

But I've learnt to block that part out.

I'm tired of thinking.

I'm tired of crying.

I'm tired of losing people I care about.

I'm tired of being alone.

I'm just so tired.

With that in mind. I poured a few into my hands and downed them.

(Jade's POV)

I held her body tightly against my body, tears streaming against my cheeks. I was too slow. I should've gotten here sooner, I should've stopped her. Helped her, saved her. God I should've done something sooner. My body began to rock back and forth as I buried my face in her hair. I have already called Lizzie even then I struggled to get words out. I feel as if I can't speak, breathe or do anything. All I could do was cry. The hot tears leaving trails down my cheeks as they fell onto her face. She didn't stir.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. So I did the only thing I could think of. I opened my mouth and began to sing softly.

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night dear

When I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms

When I awoke dear

I was mistaken

So I hung my head and I cried

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear how much I love you

So please don't take me sunshine away

So please don't take her away.

The tears came harder than they did before.

So what did you guys think? I personally wasn't a big fan of the ending but that's where I thought would be a good place to end it. So I'm kind of sorry for the cliffhanger on this chapter. So please review and I'll see you all in the next one.