Chapter 2: Gimme my AI!

So after some serious thinking that took a whole second I decided to upload a second chapter of this thing. So this time our heroes face the greatest threat of their lives: a crazy Cortana who randomly appears on the screen and interrupts their epic moments. What are they going to do? How are they going to survive, while being controlled by the greatest noob in HALO history, who just understood that it is an FPS game? Why am I asking pointless questions instead of writing? Read and review and maybe you will get an answer. I do NOT own HALO. It is owned by Bungie. (Italics mean that Cortana is talking)

"Chief this has to stop." Arbiter said. "That's right. We can't have our awesome game play interrupted by-" "And then-" "Shut up, I'm talking!" "Meanie." "If you are done arguing with a voice in your head can we continue? I'm sick of losing in this mission." Arbiter told. "Oh come on. It happened only five times" "In one minute!" "Well… you have a point there." "Let's just get going." "Alright."

About ten losses(thirty seconds) later

"That's it! I quit!" Arbiter shouted. "You can't do that! The author wants to publish more chapters of this story!" "I wonder if he will make a cameo again." Suddenly Blades of Fate appeared. "Cameo time!" "There he goes" Arbiter sighed. "Guys I have news for you! I will abandon this story and start another one in which Arbiter rules this filthy world." the author said. "Oh yeah! Take that Chief!" "It will happen on February 31 this year." "Sweet! Hey! Wait a second! This is impossible!" "Don't worry. I will do it anyway when I publish the thousandth chapter of the tenth season" "I hate you so much right now…" Arbiter said. "I have to go now so that I can write more of this story. See you around." The author said before vanishing… WITH LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS!

"What just happened?" Master Chief asked. "He made a cliché exit. You know… filled with explosions and stuff." "I think he was riding a tiger." "He is a madman." "You don't say!" Master Chief told in a voice so full of sarcasm that it almost crushed the game mechanics.

"So, before the author appeared we were talking about Cortana." "That's right, Chief." "I think I found an easy solution to our problem." "Blow her up?" "No you idiot. Retrieve her." "But according to the script in HALO 5 she will-" "Shut up you game plot spoiling fiend!" "What the-" Don't say it!" "Chief are you alright? You behave kind of strangely." "I'm fine! No wait am I?! Why do you care anyway?! You were an enemy in the last game! What if you are plotting against me?! TRAITOR!"

We interrupt Chief's DMoUS (Dramatic Monologue of Utter Stupidity) to bring you Arbiter and Cortana

"How can you stay with him the whole time?" Arbiter asked the AI that had decided to make another sudden appearance "Well, The best solution is to put his armor to mute. You know, so that no sound can come out." "So that's why he doesn't talk so much." "Exactly." "I have an idea!" "Don't worry. It is could have happened to anyone." "I will pretend that you never said that… So I figured that the only way to stop the Chief is to find you so that you can do that mute thing." "Yeah, right. Good luck with it. You aren't even halfway there." "It doesn't matter. We will face every danger that fate puts in our way. We will fulfill our destinies as-". Suddenly the voice of Blades of Fate echoed through the whole level. "Could you stop with these monologues? They take time to write! I can't have you ruining my schedule! I have scheduled to conquer the universe in three hours, but I will be late if I have to wait for you to finish with your nonsense!" "But we don't have anything epic enough to finish the chapter with." "Oh, don't worry about that…" About 9,983,749,230,472,390 elites appeared out of nowhere. "I hate you so much right now…" "And so our heroes battled for about three weeks against the elites. According to the legend they still haven't finished. The end"

Another chapter is done! The next will be published soon (it might take one week). Let's hope that our heroes will be done fighting by that time (What kind of criminal mastermind would send so many elites against to warriors at once? Oh yeah: me)

Arbiter: How am I supposed to defeat them?!

BoF: Just look at the Chief.

Arbiter: Holy crap!

The chief was jumping around like the maniac he is killing elites, while being followed by rainbows.

Noble 6: Why couldn't I do this at the end of HALO Reach?

Arbiter: What the- What is he doing here?! He is supposed to be dead!

Cortana: There is no logic in this situation

BoF: You do remember who is the author right?

Arbiter: Well… that explains everything.

Cortana: So when are they going to get me back?

BoF (who suddenly has a mustache and a monocle): Very soon… very soon…

Arbiter: He is scary…

Noble 6: This is a madhouse!