HALO: Master Chief and Arbiter funny collection

by Blades of Fate

Chief and Arbiter have a lot to deal with: the Covenant, the Flood, a broken TV and a laser that will not shoot properly. This is just a part of what you are going to witness in this fic. The rest are out of the summary, because so much insanity can't be put into words. So, what are you waiting for? Let the reading start! Rated T to be sure.

4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Oh noes!

Hey everyone, long time no see! Man I swear that my school is trying to kill me… Anyway get ready for the return of the madness that made millions tear their computers to pieces. The insanity that began three civil wars and nine rebellions (and yes I've been counting). The lack of logic that… you get the point.

"Arbiter." Cortana called. "What is it?" "It's the Chief…again." Suddenly, they heard a noise from Chief's room. The SPARTAN burst through a wall, shot the computer screen, threw a grenade out of the window, bitch-slapped Arbiter and infected Cortana with a virus that gave her a hiccup… in five seconds. "… WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!" Arbiter asked wondered screamed. "I think that *hic* he is upset because BoF didn't *hic* update the story." Chief burst into the room again (opening a second hole for some reason). "It's been a whole month and there hasn't been even one update! If HALO 6 was released it would be better but now I am stuck here doing nothing but bursting through walls!" "…You do know that your behavior is clearly shattering the fourth wall, endangering the story's space and time continuum and causing me a headache, right?" "AND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, YOU SPACE LIZARD THINGY?!" "Blackboard, please." Arbiter said as a blackboard out of the blue. "Thanks invisible persons that grants wishes" Arbiter said. "He grants wishes?! Hey, I want a giant tank. And make it extra heavy" the Chief said moments before a gigantic tank rushed through the room, effectively making him look like a carpet. Then Johnson came in asking "Did anyone see the prototype radioactive tank?" "Yeah it just passed by." "Where did you get that carpet? It looks great." Johnson asked. "Johnson… Get the hell out of the room before I strangle you using your stomach." The Chief said with a funny voice (Come on everyone! He just got smashed by a radioactive tank! Give him a break!) "HOLY CRAP! THE CARPET TALKED! IT MUST BE A COVENANT SPY! OPEN FIRE EVERYONE!"

We interrupt this scene of excessive violence (and language) to bring you a message from our sponsor U.S.E.L.E.S.S.:

Hey you! Yeah you! Are you sick of waiting for your SPARTAN laser to fire? Do you want a jetpack with infinite fuel? Do you feel like throwing a black hole at your enemies? Well, that's too bad for you, since we don't have any of these. We have something better. The… Chiefinator! By using this awesome weapon you will force your enemies to listen to Chief's dramatic childhood story with Arbiter playing violin for extra sadness.

What the…

After the Chief spent a whole day running from Johnson and his marines he returned to find Arbiter waiting for him. "What do you want?" "Hello SPARTAN. How was your day?" "Awesome." "Really?" "Yeah of course… Now step aside so that I can grief in my room." "Don't you want to hear my plan?" "The one you were talking about earlier? HELL NO!" Chief said as he burst into his room creating another hole… then the building collapsed. "DAMN YOU GRAVITY!" the Chief screamed.

Tadaaaa! I am back! I really don't have anything to say so… Follow and review. And check out my other story too. It isn't too popular, but guess what? I made some improvements and it's much better now. See you next time guys.