Chapter 11

'Its good to see you, at least except in passing.' Jack sat opposite her, taking a bite from a sandwich and giving her a cheerful grin, 'we don't seem to see you often. Probably busy, right?'

'Yeah. A lot's been happening. Hopefully I can hang out with you more, Jack, you're a cool guy.'

'You think so? I guess I am.' He said proudly.

It was one of those rare times she had eaten lunch at the canteen with someone as she usually went out to grab lunch. It was exactly what John was doing now, and after days of following his lead she had decided to eat with Jack. He was even funnier than she had thought and certainly a talented dancer.

'How's it going with all those dances, then?'

'Okay. John is a good teacher.'

'I know. He taught me the paso.'

'Why doesn't he-'

'He secludes himself. Never eats with us here, always alone. Well, now he has you. I think you might have actually improved his mood, Clara. Maybe you've been a good influence over him. Even I can see an improvement in his behaviour.'

She considered his speech, spinning her water bottle absentmindedly.

'I've gotten that so far. He's too strict sometimes. Schedules, healthy eating, exercise. It's too much sometimes.'

'Yeah, that's practically his whole life. As far as I know he doesn't have any other hobbies except his bookshop and gets here earlier than everyone else and leaves later than necessary. His whole life is his dancing. It's why he's never been with anyone else. He doesn't have time for a relationship, or a job, or an activity.'

She nodded, thinking these things through, suddenly realising the full extent of his obsession.

'I'm warning you just in case, Clara, stay careful around him. He is a nice man at heart, but tricky. If he ever confuses you with random moods and contradictory actions it's because he can't handle his own emotions. I think sometimes he doesn't even know how to feel, or how the things he does affects other people. I went on tour with him once and he was all over the place. So just be careful, because it can be misleading when he's feeling one thing and telling you another.'

Clara finally understood, finally realised. John was erratic, a perfectionist and over-analyst, living in a dream world. What Jack had just told her made so much sense. She stared up at him, noticing how safe she felt under his bright gaze, how John's stare contrasted and made her feel dangerous, like she was on an adventure with him.

'Who should be careful of who?'

Clara turned, startled, to see John standing above her. She hoped her face wasn't too guilty but she couldn't help her broken, staggering voice.

'No one. Me and Jack were just talking.'

'Yeah, I can see that. Now, let's go, we're doing the rhumba.'

Clara rolled her eyes briefly at Jack who smiled, and walked out with John.

'Remember Clara, rhumba is three words,' he reminded her again, holding up his fingers, 'slow, passionate, and sexy.'

Clara tried to focus but every time he spoke her frame melted and her mind kept repeating everything Jack had said to her.

She moved herself back into position, feeling John behind her, his neck almost perched on her neck as she twisted her feet and swayed her hips from side to side. John's hands rested on her thighs and she couldn't help the blush in her cheeks as he came to look at her. Clara knew this was the dance she would be dreading, the one too intimate for her taste. She spun on her heel dramatically, now facing him as she quickly embraced him. His hands were wrapped tight round her shoulders and her face rested in the crook of his neck. For one second she could smell the faint scent of aftershave and cologne. It infected her nose, lingering there. He smelled so nice. She almost forgot to breathe as he bended her upper torso backwards and with sharp clarity she fell back into his arms again, inhaling that scent.

'Good. Now, do you trust me?'

Clara felt a little taken aback at the question, her conflicted mind battling over whether she truly trusted him or not. But as she looked into his eyes she found herself answering impulsively.

'Yes.'

He smiled widely at that.

'I'll be standing right behind you, Clara, okay?'

'What are you doing?' She asked suspiciously.

'Now fall.'

'What?'

'Fall. Don't worry, I'll catch you.'

'And if you don't? Can't we at least get a crash mat?'

'No, because it won't matter whether you have one or not. Fall back.'

She took a deep breath, raised her arms and allowed herself to free fall. At the very last moment he caught her, body almost parallel to the ground. He only held her head and he pushed it back up so she stood up straight again.

'Told you, didn't I?'

'I didn't know you were only catching my head.'

'Well that's the whole point isn't it? From the audience's point of view, it will look almost like an illusion.'

'At least it will look good for the audience, whether I die or not.'

'Hey, ssh, I'm going to catch you.'

'Good.'

'Now you're going to be dancing in heels.'

'Ugh.'

'Come on, better to be practising earlier than later.'

'Can I take a quick break, then?'

'Clara, we have to stick to schedule-'

'Fuck your schedule for a minute, John. I'm getting a drink.'

'Not an alcoholic one, I hope.'

'Come with me, just take a break with me.'

'No, I need to keep going-'

'Don't start this again, John, I'll just get mad. You can't just keep on dancing without a break, that isn't just dedication, that's control freak.'

'Takes one to know one.'

Clara threw him a glare. He smiled knowingly.

'Fine.' He said, following her out the doors. Once hydrated, she felt much better.

'Why are you so strict about dancing?'

'Just the way I am. Plus, there's only 2 and a half months left until the show, so yes, effort, skill and performance is what I want. I don't want to be stressed about it anymore, I want to stay in control as much as I can so the dances are perfect.'

'Yes, but you don't need to deprive yourself for it! Keep the stress to a minimum, focus solely on the dances. I'd say we were doing pretty good at the moment, so you don't need to worry. I don't want you worrying.' She amended, watching his throat constrict with every breath. He looked straight ahead of him, hands clenching themselves.

'Come on,' she said, standing up and holding out her hand, 'let's get back to work.'

John smiled gratefully, and took it.