*Shout out to my Russian readers! I've never visited but I would love to go to St Petersburg at some point, thanks for reading and please favourite/follow/review*
*Also this was a really tough chapter to write, I hope I did it justice*
Bellamy and Raven arrived at the drop ship within half an hour of each other, but there was no sign of Clarke and Finn. Trying not to panic, Bellamy set about pacing the drop ship to distract himself. Half an hour later and it hadn't worked.
'Where are they?'
'We shouldn't have split up.' Raven said, voicing the guilt that had been plaguing Bellamy. Heavy footsteps, too heavy to be Clarke, told them someone was coming. Bellamy swung the gun from over his shoulder and aimed for the silhouette moving towards the drop ship. With tense shoulders he clicked the safety off the rifle as the figure reached out an arm to push aside the material covering the drop ship door revealing…Murphy.
Bellamy sighed, disappointed, but he didn't lower the gun, maintaining his stance his emotions shifted to confused, and wary. 'What are you doing here?'
Murphy eyed cautiously him before motioning to Raven. 'I believe I was invited.'
Bellamy lowered his rifle and turned to the girl, his hard eyes demanding an explanation.
'I thought we could use an extra gun.' She shrugged casually, and after a pause, Bellamy nodded his reluctant agreement before resuming his restless pacing.
Bellamy was frantic by the time Finn burst into the drop ship, an unconscious Clarke in his arms. He was by her side immediately, hand cupping the back of her head where it was lolling over Finn's arm. His stomach turned as he saw the bloody gash on the side of her head, her golden hair stained dark red.
'What happened?' he demanded wildly, taking some of Clarke's weight from Finn. The two of them carried her across the floor of the drop ship as Finn spoke.
'Grounder, hit her in the head.' He was breathing heavily, Bellamy guessed Finn had carried her a long way, and was grateful for the boy for the first time pretty much since they had landed on the ground.
'Put her over here.' Murphy had laid down a few sheets that had been left behind in the ship and Bellamy felt the same unfamiliar gratitude for the boy who had tried to kill him.
His voice was tinged with a desperate fear as he cried, 'I need a, a, a bandage, a rag anything.' He knew he was panicking but he couldn't stop himself, Clarke was hurt and he should have been there to protect her. Murphy ripped material from one of the sheets and handed it to Bellamy wordlessly, who placed it carefully on her wound, laying her head down gently to stem the bleeding before crouching next to her, brushing the hair from her face.
'Clarke,' his voice was jagged with emotion, 'can you hear me?'
She didn't respond. He brushed his thumb across her cheekbone as he continued to call her name, heart leaping as her eyes finally fluttered open and she groaned quietly.
'Clarke,' he breathed in relief. She looked up at him, face creased in pain. 'You're gonna be fine.' He repeated it over and over again, stroking her hair and her face, until it wasn't clear who he was reassuring. 'You just need to rest.'
Bellamy sent the other three outside to watch for grounders, whilst he stayed crouched by her side for an hour as she slept, cleaning the blood away. He then spent another hour after she woke up refusing to let her move until the bleeding had stopped and her dizziness cleared. He had noticed that as soon as they had laid Clarke down, Finn had stepped back from Clarke and moved to stand by Raven, and his lip curled in disgust - as soon as Raven was in the room Finn's supposedly undying love for Clarke seemed to, well, die.
'I'm so sorry Clarke.' Bellamy's fingers moved from twisting strands of her hair, to trace patterns across the back of Clarke's hand, 'I should have been there.'
Turning her hand she gripped his fingers, stilling them, and looked up at Bellamy fiercely. 'This was not your fault.' Her voice was clear and unwavering.
'I should never have suggested splitting up, I should have been by your side, I never would have let this happen.'
Clarke moved to sit up and instantly Bellamy's arm was around her back, supporting her weight. He shifted so she could lean against him, wrapping an arm around her waist.
'Bellamy,' Clarke's voice was no more than a whisper, 'a grounder did this, not you. And it doesn't even matter, because I'm fine. I promised you I would be here didn't I?'
'I should have made you promise to get here unharmed.' Bellamy smiled, some of his guilt lifting as he realised she was right, she was going to be fine. Still, he vowed to never let anything like this happen again. Next time she was in danger, they would be together.
Murphy's shout interrupted them 'we've got company, get out here.'
'Stay here.' Bellamy told Clarke as he picked up his gun and left the drop ship, knowing Clarke would follow behind him. Sure enough, he heard her soft footsteps approaching him where he was crouched outside the drop ship. 'You're so stubborn,' he said, smiling lopsidedly, 'stay low.' She crouched beside him, eyeing the grounders as they moved in the trees around the camp.
'We're surrounded.' She noted with dismay.
'They're not moving any closer.' Murphy muttered from where he was crouched on the other side of the drop ship doors.
'They're staying out of range, they'll be waiting until it's dark.' Bellamy muttered to her.
The five of them stayed crouched, guns on the trees for half an hour, discussing their options intently, so intently that it wasn't until Raven cried out that they noticed Finn had left his position and was at the gate.
Clarke stood up in shock, 'Finn,' she cried as Bellamy stood up as well, preparing to pull her back if she ran after him, but she stayed by his side.
'Finn, no!' Raven's voice was shrill, 'Finn' she screamed, she tried to run to him but she could never had made it in time, before she had taken more than a few steps half a dozen grounders were there, dragging Finn out of the camp.
It was over in an instant, leaving the other four at varying levels of shocked. Forcing her frozen legs to move, Clarke walked unsteadily over to Raven, who had crumpled to the floor as Finn had been hauled away. She lay curled on her side, but she wasn't crying, she was too numb. When Clarke approached she sat up, pulling her face into an expression of determination.
'We need to get him back.'
Clarke looked over Raven's shoulder to Bellamy and saw that his face matched the uncertainty in her own, before she looked back at the girl in front of her who had once told her that Finn was all she had. She had to try, for Raven, she just hoped Bellamy would understand.
They returned to camp quickly, not worried about the threat of the grounders now that they had what they wanted. When they arrived Clarke found Abby and filled her in quickly. By the time the night fell, jeers and shouts from the grounder camp had been reaching them for hours, and the sky people gathered by the fence to do the only thing they could do – watch.
Clarke stood, Raven on her right, Bellamy on her left, eyes scanning the vast grounder camp, illuminated by thousands of torches, from their position behind the electric fence they could see the grounders building a pyre directly in front of Camp Jaha. The grounders wanted them to watch as they killed Finn.
Clarke could hear Bellamy trying to persuade Kane to authorise an attack on the grounders, and Raven begging Abby, her voice shaking with effort of holding back tears, but she knew what they would say before they could even say it. It was too late.
Bellamy saw Clarke turn to him and give him a meaningful look before walking away from the group, he followed wordlessly, and they strode through camp, towards the gate.
'What are you thinking?' Bellamy knew the look in Clarke's eyes, she was about to do something that would potentially get her killed.
'I'm going to talk to the commander.'
'What else do you have to say?' 'I don't know, ok, I don't know.' It came out harsher than she meant it to. Clarke came to halt, Bellamy almost bumping into the back of her 'I'm sorry' she said quietly.
Bellamy turned her around, his expression gentle, but conflicted. He couldn't just let her walk, unarmed, into the grounder camp and try and rob them of their version of justice. They'd never allow it.
'Clarke,' but before he could try and persuade her to stay, they heard Raven's voice.
'Give me your hand.'
Clarke turned to the girl in surprise, they hadn't even realised that she had followed them. She stretched out her hand towards Raven, who gripped her wrist and slid a small knife into Clarke's sleeve, concealing it next to her forearm. 'If she won't let him go, kill her.' Raven's face was grimly determined, and the desperation in her eyes worried Clarke. 'Things will go crazy, and we'll grab you and Finn.' Clarke nodded once but turned to Bellamy, 'Clarke,' Raven's voice was growing more frantic, 'you have to help him. I owe him my life.'
Bellamy stepped forward carefully and took Clarke's arm, leading her away from Raven, who took the hint and backed away from them until they were out of earshot.
'You can't kill the commander.' Looking down at her, Bellamy's voice was firm, but Clarke wasn't arguing.
'I know, it would start a war.' Distractedly, Clarke looked over the grounder camp again, mapping the quickest route to the commander's tent; the red material standing out, even in the dark, before she realised that Bellamy was looking at her intently.
'Clarke, why…' He trailed off, afraid of the answer he might receive, but Clarke knew what he was trying to ask.
'For Raven. She told me once that Finn was all she had. I have to do something.'
Bellamy looked down at Clarke and saw the truth in her eyes. Pulling her to him he sighed, in both relief and acceptance.
Pushing aside the fear and almost overwhelming sense of futility, Clarke lay her head against his chest and focused on the man in front of her, the man she loved, for a moment, before her thoughts were dragged back to rescuing Finn.
'I love you.' Bellamy's voice was low, and she stepped out of his arms reluctantly. Looking up at him, Clarke reached a hand up to brush against his jaw, memorising every detail of his face, just in case.
'I love you too.'
Blue and brown met and their eyes made a thousand promises that they were too fearful to voice. Then, before she could do something stupid like cry, Clarke turned and slipped out of the gate, glancing over her shoulder one last time, vowing to herself that she would be back in his arms, no matter what happened next.
Walking through the grounder camp Clarke kept her shoulders back and her head high. A sea of grounders parted before her, leading the way to Lexa's tent. Finally Clarke reached the tent, but her path was blocked by the grounder woman with the scarred face – Indra.
Bellamy watched as the grounder moved to block Clarke's path, deadly looking spear pointed at her stomach. His jaw clenched as Clarke took a step forward, so the tip of the spear pressed into her skin.
The metal was cold through Clarke's thin top, but she ignored it, meeting Indra's eyes unwaveringly. 'I'm here to talk to your commander.'
The grounder didn't even blink, maintaining her post. Clarke was running out of time. She took another step forward, feeling the tip of the spear slice the skin of her abdomen, blood beginning to pool. 'Let me through.' Clarke demanded firmly, eyes hard.
Indra eyed Clarke with an almost begrudging respect, but before Clarke could decide if Indra would comply, Lexa stepped from her tent, armour glinting fiercely in the torchlight.
'Let her pass.' Indra leant back at the order, removing her spear and, finally, stepping out of Clarke's way.
Bellamy felt some of the tension slide off him as the grounder stepped away from Clarke, and she moved towards Lexa. He knew of the growing alliance between the two women, that they both respected the other, and both knew that they wanted the same things. He trusted that Lexa would at least listen to Clarke, and wouldn't have her killed without good reason, unlike the rest of the grounders.
Clarke came to a stop in front of Lexa, refusing to allow herself to be intimidated.
'You bleed for nothing.' Lexa's voice was detached. 'You cannot stop this.'
'No, only you can.' Clarke told her, allowing her emotions to carry the words.
Lexa seemed to consider Clarke's statement, but they were interrupted by the wild shouts of the grounders as they rippled through the tent, commotion building as a crowd began to form some distance from them. Moments later Clarke knew why, Finn had been led through the camp and was being taken to the pyre, just fifteen feet from where she stood.
Their eyes met and Clarke had to force herself not to look away from the scene as dread settled over her. Her time was almost up.
Bellamy's attention shifted as the grounders became more agitated, cried and shouts echoing through their camp, originating from a fast building crowd that was moving towards where Clarke stood. His fists clenched anxiously, but he soon realised that the grounders weren't marching to Clarke, they were leading Finn to his death.
Clarke turned back to Lexa, mind racing. 'Show my people how powerful you are. Show them you can be merciful. Show them you're not a savage.'
For a second, Clarke thought she might have gotten through to Lexa, but in an instant she knew she had been wrong. The commander's face became closed, and her eyes fell on Finn, being tied to the pyre as they spoke.
'We are what we are.' She said coldly, and Clarke felt her heart drop.
'Then I'm a killer.' She cried. 'I burned three hundred of your people. I slit a man's throat and watched him die. I am soaked in grounder blood.' Lexa's face turned to Finn, expressionless and Clarke's mind was filled with the image of Raven sobbing, her heart broken. 'Take me.' The words were out of her mouth before she could help it, and suddenly the image became one of Bellamy, tears falling silently down his face and he struggled with his emotions, rage crashing together with grief.
Finally, Lexa turned back to Clarke and she knew that her mind had been made up. 'But Finn is guilty.'
'No.' Clarke breathed. She had failed.
Bellamy watched the grounders tie Finn to the pyre as Clarke and Lexa talked, time passing agonisingly slowly, and a feeling of hopelessness settled over him.
'Come on Clarke, do it.' Raven's voice was low but resolute as she urged Clarke to kill Lexa, causing Bellamy's jaw to clench as fear wracked his body. She had said she wouldn't, but he knew that Clarke wouldn't think twice about dying for her friends. This though, this would achieve nothing.
Clarke's eyes dropped from Lexa's expressionless face. She couldn't save Finn's life. She turned to look at him before her eyes slid back to the commanders, her jaw set. She couldn't save him, but that didn't mean she would let the grounders kill him.
'Can I say goodbye?' Clarke allowed her grief to soak her words, and was rewarded by seeing Lexa's eyes flicker uncertainly, before she nodded once.
Steeling herself, Clarke walked over to the pyre. Finn's eyes met hers, searching for good news, but she could tell the moment he found none. The hope died from his eyes and he nodded once in grim acceptance.
'What is she doing?' Raven's voice was tinged with hope, but Bellamy knew that Lexa hadn't pardoned Finn – the grounders were too quiet. He had a sinking feeling that he knew what Clarke was doing, his memory skipping back to Atom, dying on the forest floor, before he could stop it.
Clarke stopped right in front of Finn, and reached out to grip his shoulder tightly. 'I'm so sorry, I tried.' Her voice shook.
'Tell Bellamy he doesn't deserve you.' Finn tried to joke, but Clarke felt her eyes fill with tears. 'I didn't deserve you. I'm sorry.' His eyes found hers and she could see they were filled with regret.
'I forgive you. I just hope you can forgive me.' Clarke's voice cracked. 'I tried.' She said again.
'I know,' he smiled sadly, 'I'm scared.'
Clarke could barely see through the tears filling her eyes as she stepped forward to pull Finn into a hug, wincing at the gasp he let out as Raven's knife buried into his abdomen.
'You're ok.' She gulped, tears falling freely down her cheeks.
'Forgive me' she thought desperately, seeking pardon from Finn, from Raven, Bellamy, her mother. But she knew the hardest would be to pardon herself.
'Thanks Princess.' Finn breathed painfully.
A burning sob escaped Clarke's chest as she felt Finn slip away, his head falling onto her shoulder. After a moment she pulled away, the knife she gripped in her hand sliding out of Finn's stomach silently. She had failed. She couldn't save him, now Raven was alone and there was a hole in her heart where the boy she had once started to fall in love with had been.
Numbly, Clarke saw the grounders begin to run at her, Indra's spear raised once more, but Lexa's outstretched arm stopped them.
'It is done.' Her voice was loud and clear, and although enraged, the grounders lowered their weapons.
Clarke turned her tear stained face to where she knew the rest of her people had seen what she had done, to where Bellamy was.
The night was pierced by the sounds of Raven keening, screaming in an all-consuming grief, and Clarke's heart ripped apart, in a way that was becoming too familiar to her. Bellamy caught her as she crumpled to the ground, holding her as she sobbed.
His shock had passed and now, as he watched Clarke standing next to Finn's body, his only thought was of her.