May 16, 2014
yesterday was the first day of school! we did a lot of things, but mostly we focused on grammer grammar. daddy says were we're gonna work on grammar until Friday and then we can move on to spelling. I think I spell real good for a 6 year old. My handwriting isn't very good but I can't help that. Im not good at renembering when Im supposed to put in the kwokuot cwotai the marks for when you put 2 words together, so sometimes I have to go back and fix it. yesterday in school we learned about contractions. daddy gave me and Matthew cool new notebooks to rite in, and the first part is all about grammer grammar. I have to cross out my stuff a lot of the time but daddy says its all part of learning. today we went to uncle Mikerofts to learn with his special teachers. we're working on spelling with them. the first thing they did was make us say our abcs wich is dull because me and Matthew learned our abcs when we were 4! uncle Mikeroft has a big house. he's really rich. Anthia is really nice to. I think shed she'd be a good mommy but not my mommy, 'cause I already got a mommy. my mommy is really nice to. she smiles and laughs a lot and she plays games with me and Matthew. mommy is really pretty but she had lots of marks on her. marks on her arms and on her legs. they were big and scary. mommy says there battle woonds and she got them in a fight with herself, but daddy says she got them because she fell from heaven to early and hurt herself, and she didnt want to be here because she belonged in heaven so she tried to get back.
when mommy died she says she wants to be with us, here, but she had to go, and it made me real sad because now Ill never see her again. I wish she was still here but daddy says that she wont come back anytime soon. Matthew crys sometimes but I dont cry anymore not because Im not sad but because it wont bring her back. daddy always says emotions dont save people and hes right, they don't. sometimes I wish I had no emotions at all and that way I wouldnt feel bad when I hear Matthew crying at night, but I do hear him, and I do feel bad, but I cant help him. daddy says you cant save the lost unless you go out into the wilderness to find them, and Matthew is'nt lost, but hes sad and I cant fix it. I dont want to mess with emotions, there a bloody mess. Oops, 'scuse me I'm not s'posed to say bloody I guess. I guess as long as mrs. Hudson dos'nt read my journal it'll be fine. I dunno. last time I said bloody in front of her she turned really red and screamed Sherlock really lowed and then daddy told me not to say anything like that in front of her anymore. so now I'm not supossed to say bloody or hell or dammit or anything like that. Matthew isnt either but he never really swears in the first place so he's fine with it. anyway now I'm supossed to go do my homework so I guess Ill rite tomorow.
Oh! sorry I didnt rite yesterday I didnt have time I guess.