Hi! I know... It's been a really (x4) long time, and I am so sorry. T_T I've been kinda busy lately... Hehe... ^_^"
Anyways, I'm sorry again, and I hope you guys enjoy! X) Also, I'm sorry for the typos... Hehe... ^_^"
Ranmaru's POV
"Tch... He's still out." I grumbled, letting out a sigh as I scratched the nape of my neck. Glaring at the door to Camus' dorm one more time, I decided to just check on her myself, seeing as it might take him forever to get back.
'He's probably eating loads of pastries again...'
And with that thought in mind, I headed to Nanami's dorm, feeling annoyed because of the situation I was in. I climbed a flight of stairs, took a few turns, then walked through a long hallway before arriving at the door with her name on top of it. Stopping in front of it, I reached for the doorknob. Planning to simply enter without knocking, I grasped the knob, thinking she still might be asleep anyway. And at that very moment, a few thoughts swelled up my head as I was about to let myself in, making me have an irritating debate with myself. And trust me, it was as irritating as fudge.
'To hell with it. Who cares if I just randomly go inside. What else am I supposed to do, wait for a century to pass?'
'Wait... She might wake up at that very moment and I'll be caught and look like some pervert. There's no way I'd want that.'
'But... Ugh! What's important is I know I'm not a perv... Or a freak.'
'Though... What I'm doing is pretty rude...'
'Argh! Shut the hell up me!'
...
After what seemed like forever, I finally ended my self argument, deciding that I would just knock, for me to be on the safe side. Honestly, I only did that because she was a girl, 'cause girls usually demand for people, especially guys, to give them privacy. That was the problem with girls. They're weak, bicker a lot, and are all drama queens. They think they're so special and can get whatever they want just because they're what they are, girls. Though obviously, I disagree with that. And I was and will never be the type to have girls as one of my weaknesses. But, thinking about those things won't make them go away so, I immediately dropped the topic and just concentrated on waiting for the door to open. Knocking a few more times, I continued to wait, standing in the exact same spot I was in while ago.
Having been standing there for over fifteen minutes, I started becoming impatient, my eyes drilling holes through the door as they glared.
'I knew she would still be asleep. I should have just entered her dorm without thinking twice.' I thought, sighing as I grunted in annoyance. I took hold of the knob, turned it, then slowly opened the door, hoping she wouldn't wake up just yet. Why didn't I want her to wake up? 'Cause I didn't want her to get shocked with my sudden entry. Who knows? She might collapse or faint again.
The room I went into was dimly lit, only having the sun as it's light. The air was filled with the faint smell of a rose, together with a little sweetness. It wasn't as irritating as I thought it would be, seeing as she really didn't seem like the type to use those kinds of perfume. I scanned the room, looking to see if I could spot a familiar figure. But unfortunately, there was no one in sight. Suspecting that she was out for a reason I don't know of, I turned to leave, planning to just check up on her again later on. Though, as I was preparing to exit the room, I noticed a small lump on top of the bed. I crossed my eyebrows, thinking about why there was the bump on the bed. Guessing that it was probably her under there, I went closer, being as silent as possible so that I wouldn't wake her up.
'Wait... What? Why the hell would I care whether she wakes up or not? I need her to wake up, not... Ugh! Just... Whatever with it.'
I thought, narrowing my eyes in frustration. I noticed that I've been acting weird lately, and I couldn't help but wonder why. It's not like my outlook of her changed, and I still think of her as someone who can't be my group's composer, so... I couldn't help but ponder on my sudden change in behaviour. I wasn't really pissed off with her anymore, but I was still annoyed. There's this thing about her that annoys me... I just couldn't put my finger on it.
It was true that I really didn't like her, or any other girl for that matter. And I had my reasons for doing so. But, right now, I was just going to have to ignore that. I needed to check if she was doing okay, or else I might get blamed for her situation getting worse. So I did exactly as I said I would.
As I got close enough, I reached for the bed covers and gently pulled it down a bit, revealing a familiar face. She was sleeping soundly, as I guessed she was. I was preparing to sit down on the nearby couch and wait for her to wake up when I suddenly questioned my own actions. I asked myself why I couldn't do something so simple as to wake her up. I then let out an exasperated sigh as I walked back to the place I was previously in, beside her bed, called out to her, hoping she would immediately wake up. I said her name a few times, then waited for at least a sign that my actions were taking effect. But apparently, nothing happened. She only made a few toss and turns, and that's it.
Knowing that my patience wasn't much, I tried to calm down, deciding to just try and wake her up again.
"Nanami... Hey, Nanami..." I said, repeating the process a few more times until her eyes finally squinted open after a few more movements from her. She made a held back stretch as she struggled to sit up. Her eyes wandered to my direction, followed by her head. She looked up, simply staring at me like she was trying to process who I was. And when I mumbled a small 'what', her eyelids instantly raised together with her shoulders. The reddening of her cheeks followed slowly after as she struggled to get up while trying to call out my name. I wanted to stop her from making any unnecessary movements, but decided to just let it slide, seeing as she seemed well enough to balance herself.
She sat up, simply staring at me until she realized what she was doing. She attempted to say things a few times, but each one ended up with her backfiring. Getting a bit annoyed at the repeated process, I narrowed my eyes at her, letting out a grunt, mumbling a 'what' through gritted teeth, for the second time. Again, she became scared of my sudden annoyance, looking down as if she was doing a silent apology. I sighed, and at the same time scratched the nape of my neck.
"Lift your head up, will you? It's not like you did some crime." I said, hoping she understood the fact that I wasn't mad. But, to my surprise (well, not really), she didn't, as she still had this uncomfortable look plastered on her face despite having raised her head a little. I closed my eyes, crossing my eyebrows as I held back another incoming sigh.
"Look, I'm not mad. I'm just a little tired, so... I'm kinda not in the mood for talking." I briefly explained, looking at her as she calmed down. "I'm just gonna check if you're okay and then I'll go. Camus was gonna be the one to check on you but... He wasn't in his dorm yet when I arrived. So, I'm here, instead of him." I continued, receiving a slightly surprised look from her. I raised an eyebrow, questioning her unreasonable reaction. Noticing it, she immediately focused her look on her thumbs, twiddling them as she did. Taking a deep breath, she told me why she was surprised about what I just said, and unexpectedly, I was surprised as well.
"Well... You see, Camus-senpai already checked up on me this morning. He gave medicine for my over fatigue. So... I wasn't really expecting anyone else to... Drop by. I'm sorry, if my reaction... Bothered you." she cleared up, finishing her explanation with an apologetic smile. I stared, taking in every single word she said and processing it, and when I was done, I realized: I went to her dorm for nothing. My eyes became half-lidded as my right eye twitched, irritation evident on my face. I scanned her face for signs of lying, but I found none. Time passed, with the two of us just staring at each other in awkward silence, the other casually taking side glances. Not being able to take it anymore, I got ready to stand up, and was just going to when she spoke up... Just when I was about to leave. Great.
"Kurosaki-senpai..." she started, looking at me straight into the eyes this time.
"Hm?" I replied, not bothering to pay much attention to what she was supposed to say.
"Um... You can go back to your dorm now, if you want to. I mean... Since, you seem like you want to go, so you should. After all, you do need your rest in order for you to do better tomorrow.I wouldn't want you experiencing headaches during tomorrow morning and afternoon." she said, smiling one of her close-eyed smiles while she was at it.
I eyed her suspiciously for a moment, checking to see if she was faking her concern. But, for some reason, I didn't sense any fraud in her tone. When her eyes opened, her smile faded, her face turning into a curious expression as she looked at me questioningly. I just shrugged, resounding a soft 'hm' as a reply to what she said earlier. She returned her smile, making it a bit softer this time, as she nodded, standing up after I did. While she was keeping her balance though, I noticed her wince in pain. Intrigued, I thought of asking her, but decided to shake the feeling off at the last moment, thinking it was just because of her sensitivity and weakness.
Heading for the door, her eyes followed my movement, only approaching me when I was a few feet from the door. Upon opening it, I paused, raising my hand as to greet her goodbye, before finally stepping out of her dorm. After walking a few steps away from her, I didn't know why but, I had the urge to look back and see if she was still there. I resisted at first, making myself look like a weirdo in the process, but soon gave in and turned my head to check. To my surprise though, she was still there, standing, as if she was waiting for me to be out of her sight before she goes back in to do whatever she wants to. And when our eyes made contact, she blinked, tilting her head a little to the side.
"Is there something wrong, Kurosaki-senpai? Have you forgotten something?" she asked, smiling as she finished. Man this was awkward. I didn't know what to do, so I just answered instead of walking away.
"No... Not really." I said, facing the direction of where I was going once more. I was just about to walk away when I heard her reply, making me turn towards her... Again.
'Jeez... What is wrong with me? She's not some kid who needs attention all the time. Hell, I wouldn't even give a kid this much attention. Ugh...' I thought, getting a little worked up with myself.
"Okay then. I hope you get a good enough rest." was what she told me, waving to me goodbye after. I softly grunted, turning away as I started walking back to my , I was going to be able to get some sleep. Well, at least I thought I was going to.
I was nearing the border between the staircase leading to both the men's and women's dorms, when a strange feeling just came to me. Pausing, I began to think about the things I've observed while I was just there, watching Nanami as we exchanged very little words. She still seemed weak in my opinion, and she even winced when she was trying to stand up. I even remembered the fact that I forgot to ask her whether she ate already, because if she didn't, she wouldn't be able to drink her medicine.
'Shiz... I gotta go back. There are so much things I wasn't able to check on. No, wait, she said it herself, I was free to go, meaning to say she knew she was alright.' I thought, hoping I could ease the slight concern I had for her. Geez... I hated this feeling and will continue to hate it for as long as I live. Finally being able to take a few steps again, I resumed my trip back to my dorm. It didn't really last for long though. I few more thoughts came into mind, making me even more exhausted than I already was.
'What if she faints again? Ugh. That will not be good. I have to go back, or else I'll be blamed for whatever happens to her. It's not like I hate her or anything so... I guess it won't be that troublesome... Argh! This already as troublesome as it is. But, if I just stand here like a big idiot, then I'll just be ending up wasting more time... Ugh! Just-! Ugh... Fine. I don't care anymore. I'm going back.'
And with that, I retraced my steps, going from the staircase to her dorm, where I knocked on her door for the umpteenth time today. Fortunately, she ws able to open the door this time, revealing her surprised expression to me. Opening the door wider, she just stared, seemingly wondering why I came back.
"I forgot something..." I started, briefly explaining the reason I came back.
"Oh! I see... Um... I'll just get it for you. What did you forget?" she asked, looking around for something she didn't own that wasn't even there. I squeezed my temple, holding back an exasperated sigh as I let myself in. I stood there for a while, motionless as I watched her look for my forgotten "thing". Unable to notice my presence, I spoke up, catching her by surprise as I said the words.
"I didn't forget anything Nanami. What I meant by that was I forgot to ask you some stuff. Stop moving around too much, you might collapse again."
She looked at me for a while, then looked down, looking like she was trying to process what I just said. Then her eyes found their way back to me, as her finger reached for her cheek to scratch it. Man, this girl really was weird.
An awkward silence started to grow, with me just staring at her while she stares at everything else but me. Then suddenly, she just giggled nervously, following a small apology after. I shrugged it off, seeing as it wasn't much of a big deal to me. When all were settled, she headed for the kitchen, asking her to follow me if I wanted to. Having no choice, I did follow her. When I saw her prepare food for herself, I though my first question was already answered, but decided to ask anyway, just in case.
"Nanami, did you have breakfast?"
She turned to me, taking a few seconds before answering with a shake of her head, a small 'no' escaping her mouth a little after. I just replied with an 'oh', figuring that there wasn't anything else to ask about regarding that topic. I was just about to ask her my next question when I realized... She didn't eat breakfast.
"Wait, what?! You didn't eat this morning? But I thought you said Camus gave you medicine?"
"Yes... He did. But, I wasn't able to drink it because I... Fell asleep. I'm sorry... It's just that, my head started to spin a little and... Well, I ended up oversleeping. I'm really sorry." she explained, upset with her own actions. I then instantly became extremely irritated. Hell, I was even getting irritated with my own thoughts and actions. I even started to overreact.
'That Camus didn't even bother to ask her... Just what time did he come over here anyway?! The nerve of that guy... He was probably too idiotic to remember something so basic. Yeah even I forgot but... At least I was able to remember it a few minutes after. The hell!'
After getting a little worked up with myself, I decided to just set those thoughts aside and focus on Nanami. And when I did, only then I realized that she was staring at me. Okay, that was awkward. Scratching the nape of my neck, I waited for her to say something, anything, just to end this awkward hell of a silence. Thankfully, she did with asking a question. That question though, was practically unnecessary but at the same time, embarrassing. Honestly, I should be the one asking her that, if I had the concern to do so, that is.
"Kurosaki-senpai, are you okay? You... Seem to be spacing out. Wait... Please don't tell me... Have you caught my sickness?! Oh I'm so sorry Kurosaki-senpai! I'll make it up to you! Um... Let see... Uh... Ah! I'll cook you soup, so that you'll be able to drink medicine and feel better after!"
Upon hearing the things she just said, I really couldn't help it anymore... I sighed a very deep sigh. After having a few moments of calming down, I looked at her, my eyes narrowing as I tried to hide my annoyance. 'Hai... This girl really is an airhead.' I thought, my eyes still glued to her small figure. And as I used up a few more moments, I took a deep breath, and said what I had to.
"Nanami... You can't transfer fatigue. So no. I didn't catch your sickness. And will you please stop worrying about me and start worrying more about yourself? You'll never get better if you don't."
At this point, I was expecting her to look away and blush or something but instead, she widened her eyes a bit in surprise. I raised an eyebrow, wondering again on why she was surprised. I couldn't even prevent myself from thinking she really was an idiot for not at least taking a hint on the fact that fatigue isn't the least bit communicable. But, instead of getting annoyed, I ended up feeling... Amused. I don't know, though I was supposed to be annoyed, I wasn't. And so I just decided to let this slip. But, not before commenting on her recent mistake and action.
"What? Did you really think fatigue could be transferred? Nanami... I don't know where you got that idea from but please, forget it. It's not true. Unless... You're talking about some other sickness you have."
Bringing back her senses a bit, she calmed down, enabling herself to smile a little after. She chuckled a bit, before replying to what I previously stated. And unfortunately, she did have this other sickness... It was fever. I wanted to scold her for pushing herself too much, but then what she said next caught me off-guard. It was something I never knew I would hear from a girl, or from any other person at that.
"Kurosaki-senpai... I just wanted to thank you for checking up on me and concerning yourself with me like this. I'm sorry if I've been a bother to you ever since we met, and I would really wish to make it up to you... That is, if you'd let me. I mean, I actually want to make it up to all of you, seniors, because... Despite me being the person who is obviously unworthy of being your composer, you didn't drive me away, and you gave me a second chance. And I really appreciate what you all have done for me. So, in return, I promise to compose only the best songs for all of you so that... I may be able to attain your acceptance one day."
I could only stare at her after what she's said, as I could only wonder why she felt this way. I had, at that time, no idea on how she was ever going to "make it up to me", when she really didn't have to. Yeah, she was quite the klutz, and she looks like someone who can't ever be taken seriously, but still, she didn't actually do anything wrong. I was simply irritated with the way she tried to act all innocent, like most girls do in front of guys they find attractive, even though I didn't know whether she really did act that way or not. I had to admit, I was pretty harsh on her, though I wasn't going to admit that now. Call me stubborn if you will, but I needed to wait until she's shown me her potential in composing, only then will I admit my fault to her.
As more thoughts flowed into my head, I noticed how she looked at me with those expectant eyes of hers. 'She's probably waiting for me to reply or something...' I thought, trying to come up with a meaningful thing to say. I really wasn't the type to say anything when it came to conversations like this, since it's way too troublesome for me. But... Seeing as she's patiently waiting without letting out a single complaint, I guess I could reconsider this, for now.
As I let a bit of air out, I mentally prepared myself. Though I wasn't going to say much so, I just tried to keep my cool. Looking at her for a brief moment as she still had hat same look on, I scratched the nape of my neck, feeling a bit awkward in the current situation. I hated feeling awkward, it was kind of like feeling embarrassed, which I dislike more. That's why, I wanted to get this done and over with, so that I could go back and sleep in my dorm with no one and nothing, not even my conscience, to bother me. Opening my mouth, I got ready to speak when she stood up, balancing herself before she approached the table with a study lamp. I crossed my eyebrows, trying to think of the possible things she would likely do. Nothing came to me though.
Picking up what seemed like a music sheet from the top of the desk, she turned to me. Slowly walking in my direction with hesitation, she handed me the paper in her hands. Not knowing what is was, I had second thoughts about getting it, but got it anyway after a few seconds. Taking a step back, she stayed in the spot where she was, waiting for a reaction coming from me yet again. I looked at the score and read the notes, my surprise growing as played every key in my head. I directed my eyes at her, wondering on why she gave this. Then, a thought flowed inside my head.
'Did she compose this? What the... No... She couldn't have... Unless, she really did work hard to finish this song, or even think of it.'
I doubted my own thought, which led me to asking her whether she did make the piece or not. She looked at me straight in the eye, which caught me off guard a bit. But, that wasn't what surprised me... It was her answer.
"Mhm... I was... The one who composed that song. It's the song I made for you guys. D-do you... Like it? Oh no. I mean, is it good enough?"
I was speechless, surprised with what she showed me. I never would have have guessed that she would have this much skill. I mean, I've always thought that she was the mediocre type of person, someone who was good, though not extravagant, someone boring. But, today, at this very moment, I was proved wrong. Seems like she's had the potential all along, and she just had confidence problems.
'Gosh... Camus should really share some confidence with this girl... He has too much of it.'
I could have doubted her, and suspected her for lying, but... No. Something in me made me believe her, and that was something I was kind of relieved about. I didn't know how to tell her, and I knew I wasn't good with expressing my feelings. Though, I tried.
"Uh... I... Don't really know what to say." I said, trying to come up with a continuation. Honestly, I just wanted her to play the song, nothing else. I was too amazed and too engrossed with the song. Though of course, that would be too awkward, which was why I didn't do it, no matter how much I wanted to. I was about to go with my continuation when she suddenly spoke.
"I... I'm sorry. It probably isn't good enough."
'It was an apology again. Geez... I don't get why this woman liked apologizing so much. I wasn't even done with what I was saying. Hai... This girl should really learn to calm down.' I thought, feeling my eye twitch in the process. It's wasn't like I was getting irritated, but sometimes her... over humbleness disturbs me. Disregarding my slightly uncomfortable feeling towards her, I decided to go on with continuing what I started a few minutes ago. Though, unfortunately... And very annoyingly, I got cut off... With an apology yet again. And this thing kept on repeating itself on and on and on. Great.
"I didn't say anythi-"
"I am so sorry. I'll change it, so that it'll reach your standards."
"Look, I wasn't done with what I was-"
"I mean... I wouldn't know what to do if you guys had to sing a song that you're not comfortable with during a competition, and a song that's not good enough at that. I'll be sure to work on my compositions. I'm so sor-"
"Will you just shut up for a minute Nanami!" I exclaimed, reaching the limit of my patience because of the constant cut offs. I let out an exasperated sigh, roughly stroking the strands of my hair as I did. I was now officially annoyed, extremely annoyed. I didn't feel like talking anymore. I was in the mood to rant though. Which was why I was just about to complain to her and her repeated apologies when I suddenly got a clear image of her.
She took a step back as I looked at her, and noticed that she became to tremble as she looked at me in fear. Suddenly, a wave of guilt came rushing through me. I did't mean to make her scared, I just couldn't control my temper sometimes... Okay maybe it's almost all the time but, still, I never really meant to hurt her in some way. I looked away from her, then trailed my eyes down to my feet as I tilted my head a little. Sighing, I placed my hand at the back of my neck, and peaked at her to see if she was okay. Well, she was still trembling, meaning she wasn't okay yet. I sighed again.
I struggled with finding the right words to say, and was conscious with how I said it. The last thing I wanted her to do was to cry. My eyes made their way to her again, and for some reason, the moment they reached her, she stiffened even more than she already was. And before I knew it, a stray tear was seen flowing down her face as she started to cry.
'Damn it... So much for not wanting to make her cry.'
Not knowing what else to do, I hurriedly approached her despite her attempts of running away. When I was close enough, I took hold of her shoulders with my eyes still glued to the floor. And finally, taking a deep breath, I lifted my head focused my eyes on her, not minding the how close our faces were. I wanted to wipe her tears away, but decided not to, seeing as it would be too awkward for me. So instead, I just started speaking, ignoring everything else but her.
"Look, Nanami, I'm... Sorry, okay? I didn't mean to scare you. I'm not good with expressing how I really feel so, please... Forgive me. I just... I dunno, I just got a bit irritated. I'm not mad, I just couldn't take any more of your apologies. I mean, you don't have to apologize that much, 'cause, as I said, it's not like you committed a crime or anything, so... Don't bring yourself down too much. And, I know I seem like the type to drive people away... Actually, I pretty much am, but still, you... Ugh. You didn't really do anything wrong. Okay, maybe you've been doing stuff that makes people want to not take you seriously, but, that's not wrong, in your situation, that is..."
"And, it's not your fault you've become whatever you've become. I mean, it's not even a fault. You're you, and you have to accept that. I'm sure Reiji's told you that lots of times, right? So, relax. No one's going to kill you for being imperfect, not even me... Or Camus. And, just go ahead and do what you can to... Impress us. We'll just be here... Waiting. But, just saying, you've already impressed us all. And I hope you know that..."
Finishing my long, and completely unnecessary speech, I held my breath, not knowing why. I wasn't the least bit used to this stuff, so I was kinda disturbed by my own words. But, despite that, I didn't regret what I said to her 'cause... 'Cause... Ugh! I don't know. I guess I really just wanted to make it up to her in someway...
"Ugh! What the hell am I saying?!" I suddenly exclaimed, letting go of both her shoulders and smacking my palm onto my forehead. I hate to admit it, but... I was embarrassed. Really embarrassed. I sounded so cheesy, I hated it. Scratching the back of my head, mumbling a small sorry before turning my attention to her once again.
She sniffed, wiping a few more tears as her eyes made their way to mine. Making a few side glances at first, she looked nervous for a few seconds, her cheeks becoming beet red from both crying and blushing. But then, she started to smile, making me a bit relieved to see her more relaxed. This was what amazed me sometimes, her ability to smile despite what happened before she did. It would always make me wonder how she did it.
We were just there, standing in complete silence, when I noticed her opened her mouth to say something, but closed after she hesitated to.
"If you wanna say something, go ahead. I don't mind." I reassured her, hoping it was able to take effect. She nodded, looking down as if she was thinking of what to say or how to say it. I waited, and eventually took a seat on the floor because of my feet growing tired. I was just about to get comfy on the floor with my back slouched when Nanami's sudden short but loud shriek startled me. I flinched in shock. It wasn't obvious though.
"Eh?! K-Kurosaki-senpai... P-please don't sit on the floor. There's a couch, you can sit there so you'll be more comfortable."
I stared at her for a while, then shrugged, insisting on just following whatever she said. Planning to stand up, I prepared to push myself up and off the floor when an idea came to me. I looked at her again, narrowing my eyes as I replied, "No."
Her eyes widened a little as she tilted her head to the side. She made a concerned look, before joining me in sitting on the floor, joining her hands as she made herself comfortable enough to speak. She eyed me with worry, before answering to what I said earlier. don't get me wrong. I really wanted to sit on the comfortable couch, but I had to do this, or else, she wouldn't speak again.
"Kurosaki-senpai, why don't you want to sit on the couch? Are you really that comfortable on the floor? If so, then I'll just get a cushion for you so that-"
"It's not that I don't want to sit there, I just... Can't." I answered, cutting her off as I did so. This kind of thing wasn't really something I would do, but I've been waiting for far too long for whatever sh has to say, and I'm not going to wait a thousand more years to hear it.
Her face became even more concerned as she replied, "E-eh? Why not?"
"Because... I'm not going to until you tell me whatever it is you were planning to tell me a while ago."
"But I can just tell you-"
"No."
"Kurosaki-senpai-"
"No Nanami. I am not moving from this place until you start talking."
I then felt a sense of triumph as she grew quiet for a few moments. I knew I was right when I though that this would work, and now all I have to do is wait a few more moments. She hasn't been talking much lately, so now I'm giving her all the freedom she needs in order to express herself. Even so though, she was still a bit reluctant with what she was about to do. But, that was to be expected, which was why I just ignored it instead of complaining.
After a few more of twiddling fingers and her created suspense, she finally began to speak. And of course, it started with an apology. As much as I wanted to point out what
I told her minutes ago, I decided to just let her off the hook... For now.
"Um... I just wanted to tell you that I'm... Sorry for crying out of the blue like that. I guess I was just a bit... Too overwhelmed by your sudden outburst, that's all. I hope I didn't make you feel bad."
I remained quiet for a few moments as my eyes examined her from head to toe. I would normally find this type of thing unusual, but did it anyway, seeing as I had nothing better to do while I thought of my response. I few more moments past without a word from either of us, and it was getting pretty awkward. Though, I'm not really the kind of person to give a say about anything like what she said, because I never did hear anything like it before I met her. But I really had to stop this awkward silence, so I just spoke whatever random things popped up into my mind.
"Uh... No, I didn't feel bad. I mean, why would I?" I said, to start off. I soon felt a little sleepy, so I closed my eyes for a bit as I messaged my neck, making myself look bored despite what was happening. I was about to continue when I realized what I'd just said. And when I repeated it in my head over and over again, it started to sound bad.
'Okay. That sounded a but wrong... And rude. Tch... Did I hurt her again?' I though, anxiety filling up my whole body. Not once have I ever felt this way towards anyone, especially not a girl. Although, for some reason, with this one, I just couldn't let seemingly small things like this get away. I've already seen her cry once, and I wasn't going to see her cry again. Maybe this could seem like a sudden mood swing to you, but I can only tell you this: only now have I been able to grasp the idea of the fact that she's never done anything wrong. So, practically, as much as I hate to admit it, Reiji was right. So now, I feel like a complete idiot because of it. Either way, I didn't care anymore.
"Okay... Uh... Let me rephrase that. What I meant to say was... Uh..."
I wasn't able to think of a way to explain my way of thinking, 'cause I don't really think their is a way to explain how I do my thinking. Which is why I was thankful she was able to get my point.
"It's fine, Kurosaki-senpai. I understand what you mean." she said, giggling after she finished. I simply narrowed my eyes at her gesture, thinking that it wasn't really needed. Though, I knew she truly acted that way, so I just ignored it. It wasn't like I wasn't used to it anyways. I scooted a little to the side, adjusting my position so that I'll be resting my back on the bed's side. I was starting to get drowsy, so I plopped my head onto the bed for a while. I was a half inch close to falling asleep when Nanami suddenly spoke. Suddenly becoming fully aware of my actions, I abruptly sat up, trying to act casual as if nothing happened.
"Kurosaki-senpai?" she said, still sitting on the place where I last saw her. I was just about to answer when a strange though came to mind. I then asked myself if she was watching me this whole time, and man... I guessed that she probably was. I mean, it was a possibility.
'Damn...'
Simply pushing the thought away, I replied, struggling to make myself more awake.
"Hm?"
"Um... Do you want to transfer onto the couch now? Or... Do you want to go back to your dorm?"
And then it struck me. I was done with my business here, so I could go back if I wanted to. Though... I could stay, since she offered to sit on the couch. But, I wouldn't really have a reason to. So, I simply decided to go back. I was tired too so, I guess it was about time I head back.
Looking at her, I got ready to speak, but felt my mouth twitch for some reason. And, before I knew it, I began to smile as I answered, "I think I'll just go back, thanks.". After, I got up, and was ready to walk out the room when I suddenly recalled what I just said. It took me a few repetitions for it to finally register into mind, and when it did, I freaked out.
'Wait... Did I just thank her?! What the-?! Why would I... Oh what the hell. I said it already, and it's not like it's a bad thing. And, plus, I only said it once... No biggie. But... Ugh! Whatever with it.'
Shrugging whatever weird thoughts I have, I walked towards the door, passing by Nanami in the process. She was already standing up, and ready to follow me to the door like she did the last time. When I peaked at her again, I couldn't help but notice her shocked face as she just stood there while I made my way to the exit. Subconsciously stopping, I turned to get a better view of her as my curiosity grew.
"What are you looking at?" I asked, hoping to get the answer as to why she had a surprised look on her face. She simply shook her head, still wearing the same expression she had a while ago. Unsatisfied, I persisted, silently asking her again with a raise of my two eyebrows. She stiffened, looking away as she started to fiddle with her fingers. She attempted to reply a couple of times, but, as always, she hesitated and thought twice about what she was going to say, and most probably how to say it. Even so, I was starting to get used to it, and have developed enough patience to wait for her responses.
After what seemed like forever, she finally spoke. They bits and bits of words, each forming a few sentences. They were a bit hard to understand, but I got the message.
"Um... You... I... Did you just... Thank me?"
I paused for a while, feeling a little uncomfortable as I did. Although I started to freak out inside and complain about being reminded of that weird, and accidental word of gratitude, I tried to stay as calm as possible. And with a deep breath, I replied, "Yeah... I did."
She grew quiet for a few seconds, seemingly more shocked than a few minutes ago because of the answer I gave her. Well, I on the other hand, am not surprised. Knowing that I probably didn't seem like the person to thank people in her point of view, I didn't question her reaction. Though, I did know how to be thankful and express my gratitude, so I didn't really see why she was so surprised to the extent of being speechless for a whole five minutes or more. Now don't get me wrong, it was just a feeling. I didn't really time how long she stayed like that. I thought about it more, just concluding to myself that she was that kind of girl who gets shocked easily, but that still didn't answer my question. I guessed again that she might have thought of me as a merciless, good-for-nothing human being, but I ended up contradicting that too.
I remained in deep thought, ignoring all that was happening around me. Until that is, when Nanami's voice disrupted me from my deep thinking.
"Kurosaki-senpai..." she started, looking more determined than she was moments back.
"Hm?"
"Um... Thank you again for everything you've done for me today. And, I know you've told not to apologize too much but, I just feel the need to say it right now so... I'm sorry, for all the trouble I've caused." I was surprised with hearing all those words in one day, because, not even once have I heard these kinds of words before. 'Hm... No wonder she grew silent for a long time. She was embarrassed with what she wanted to tell me, which was why she had that reaction for I don't know how long.' I thought, contented with simply knowing that.
I really should have been bothered by now, but, for some unknown reason, I'm not. Actually, to be honest, I felt kind of... Happy about it. Though I still do try to deny it, I can't erase the fact that the feeling in my heart has become... Lighter, somehow. Though obviously, I wasn't going to make a fool out of myself and show that to her. So instead, I tried my best not to look too scary. Not just for now, but as much as possible, all the time.
"You know, you've said that tons of times already. Don't you ever get tired?"
"Eh?! I have? Oh... I'm so sorry... Ah! Oops..."
I narrowed my eyes, sighing as I thought of how impossible it was to get her to stop apologizing all the time. "Right... I don't think you'll ever be able to take off that habit of apologizing every other minute. Just... Don't do it all the time, k? People might think you're insane."
"R-really? Oh... I never knew that."
"Well, now you do. Now go get some rest, 'cause I need it too." I said, cutting the conversation there as I make my way out of the room. I knew she was going to tell me to wait, so I got ready to stop in my tracks. And, as expected, she did tell me to wait, strangely though, I didn't mind. I wasn't really annoyed with her gestures and habits anymore. Sure, she was annoying sometimes, but, I guess I've grown fond of her more than before.
'I guess Reiji isn't always a goofball after all... And this girl isn't the klutz I used to think I knew of.'
"Ah! Kurosaki-senpai, please, wait!"
I paused, lifting my hand as to say goodbye, before finally leaving her, a weird smile plastered on my face. And as I was walking away, I heard her call out to me again, and without a second thought, I looked back. She smiled, bowing to me as she said her final thanks and goodbye. My eyes widened at first, but soon began to relax as I made a very small and almost unnoticeable smile before walking away, and back to my dorm.
Okay! That's all for now. I'll try not to update so late... But I can't really promise anything so... Gomen! U_U
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this in my previous chapters so...
For those reviews that I can't reply to, thanks so much! Again, I'm sorry for making you guys wait... ^_^"
That's all, bye-bye! XD