Alleghany almost smiled as her favorite dog, or at least the one who had kind of grown on her anyway, jumped up and licked Jackson on the face. She expected him to be annoyed by it, but he only laughed and patted the animal on the head. How could a man be so gentle with the animals and so hard with her?

Well, that wasn't true as of late, she had to admit to herself. She saw him actively trying to curb his temper and succeeding most of the time. And when he didn't, he didn't lay a finger on her. He simply left the room. Still, it couldn't last. The dam would burst like it had before and who knew what ugly deed he would commit then?

When she had finished the dishes, she held her hands up. They were red and so dry they were flaking. She had dishpan hands. "I hate my life," she muttered.

She nearly jumped clean out of her skin when she noticed that Jackson had come in and was standing right behind her.

Jackson had been thinking, wrestling with his conscience. He didn't want to let her go, but he couldn't stand to see her unhappy any longer and he knew it wasn't right to hold her against her will.

He reached into his pocket and dangled the truck keys in front of her. "You're free to go."

She snatched them out of his hand and looked at him hard, expecting a trick of some kind.

But he was perfectly serious. "Go pack up if that's still what you want."

She couldn't quite believe it, but she quickly snapped into gear. She had the luxury of taking the time to take everything this time. Still, she seized her belongings in the drawers and threw everything into the suitcase in a jumble in her hurry to get out of there.

He was waiting at the front door and held out a wad of cash to her.

"What's this?" she asked with a raised brow.

"Money. Take it."

She did after setting her things down and then she counted it. It was the exact amount he had taken back from her. The sum total of what was left of his savings. "Why are you giving me this?"

"Because I don't want to think of you out there somewhere, hungry and cold."

She pocketed the money. She should have left on that note, but she couldn't help herself. "I think you've plumb lost your mind is what I think. You're a fool among other things."

She was trying to goad him into an argument, but it didn't work. "I'm sorry I wasn't the husband you wanted or needed."

His simple, heartfelt apology took all the wind out of her sails. "Well, I wasn't the kind of wife you wanted or needed either, so I guess we're even. I'll send you divorce papers when I get settled."

He nodded and she got in the truck before he changed his mind, wasting no time in starting the car and putting her foot to the pedal.

She did look back once in the rearview mirror and the expression he wore was not the expression she had expected to see. He looked at peace, like he knew something she didn't, not angry with her like her last escape or even in despair. It annoyed her for some reason and she pushed down harder on the gas pedal.

This time she stopped in Knoxville and she decided to use some of the money to see the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra. As soon as she got a hotel room taken care of, she was buying a ticket to the evening performance. Perfect timing for it started in only a few minutes.

She leaned back in the comfortable seat and closed her eyes, soaking in the culture as if it could be gleaned from the atmosphere. When the beautiful classical music started, she almost was able to forget everything that was wrong with her life like the notes could carry her troubles away.

She opened her eyes every so often and every time she did, she caught eyes with the cellist. She knew the look he was giving her so well. It was one that said "meet me after the show."

And she did. She waited at the performers' exit. He took her to his car. A nice car. Not as wealthy as the last catch she had made before Jackson interfered, but he was doing okay for himself.

"You know as a musician I can set a cadence that will leave you positively enraptured and spoil you for a lover of any other profession." He reached over and pulled her against him.

It sounded promising and she tested his boast, but the kiss left her cold. Not because he had lied about his skill but because she knew where it would lead. A few moments of pleasure before the loneliness hit again. It wouldn't begin to touch the void she felt deep down in her core.

Curse that man. Curse Jackson. He was the one who had got her thinking this way, making her analyze her behavior. Before, she hadn't given her passions much thought and had just enjoyed the ride while it lasted. "I'm sorry, but I just got into Knoxville and I'm tired. Maybe another time."

He was disappointed, but he took it graciously.

Back in the truck, she decided she could at least numb the unwanted feelings and manufacture her own brand of happiness. She had brought along the bottle of moonshine she had never finished. She would just pinch her nose and force herself to drink it down, smell or no smell. However as she dug under the seat for her suitcase, her hand touched a sheet of paper before it touched the bottle. Notes from Jackson's Bible study.

"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved" and then it quoted where it could be found in the Bible. She crumpled the paper. A bold promise considering that any number of terrible, criminal sins could be attached to a person. Not that she thought she was so terrible. She was better than some.

She drove the short distance to the hotel. She paused after she got out. Jackson had given her his truck, his only mode of transportation, his money that he had chased her across Tennessee for, and most of all he had given her the freedom that she had once believed his pride would never allow. He wasn't the same man he was before and it puzzled her and made her crazy because she couldn't understand it even a little bit.

In the room, nursing the bottle, she caught her reflection as she leaned against the headboard. She looked miserable. It was a stark contrast to the inner joy Jackson had seemed to be radiating lately. It wasn't fair. If anybody deserved to be happy, it was her.

"Life is filled with suffering. Maybe I should go through with ending yours." It was the first time she had talked to the baby inside her. "But that's not fair, is it? Maybe you'll do better with yours. Oh, I don't know what I want. I want to go home, but I can't. And I think I'd be unhappy there too."

And why was that? Her father doted on her. Her mother loved her too though she might have been a little less obliging. She got along well with her brothers. Her home life hadn't been an unhappy one. What was missing?

In a sigh of frustration, she set her bottle down and pulled open the drawer beside her, bringing out the Gideon Bible.

sss

Giving thanks in all circumstances was the message this Sunday. Apt timing, Jackson thought to himself. It took him 2 and a half hours to walk to church and 3 hours back because of his slower pace. His feet hurt by the time he got back, but it had been worth it.

Still, sitting alone in the empty house with aching feet, it was hard to give thanks. He tried hard to remember God had a purpose for everything He did or allowed. But though he was unhappy that Alleghany had left and had even shed tears into his pillow the night before over the woman, he had a sense of contentment that couldn't be touched and for that, he did gave thanks.

The sound of a grumbly motor woke him up after he had nodded off and he rushed to the window. It couldn't be, but it was. Alleghany was back.

He went out to meet her. Opened the driver's side door for her. "I'm so happy you came back."

She had stayed up most the night reading and she didn't understand a lot of it, hardly any of it, but she was interested in discovering its power. What about the ancient text was able to transform a man's character? "I'm not saying that I'm staying," she warned right off the bat, "but now that I know I got the liberty to go, I want to see what this God stuff is all about."