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(x)

5 years ago

Gotham City

Her brow furrowed when she said, "I had the nightmare again."

The doctor crossed her legs and asked, "The same one? With the hurricane?"

"Yes, except this time it was different."

"How so?"

"It was worse."

The doctor remained quiet for a moment. Finally she asked, "Do you mind if we talk about it?"

She breathed out a sigh and smoothed her hands down her pressed pencil skirt, steeling herself before she began. "It starts out the same as before. There's an explosion, wind, complete chaos. Except this time when I look for my son and husband and Alfred, they're nowhere to be found. Then it gets worse. I can't find my phone either. Then all of a sudden, the house crashes down. Beams, dry wall, marble, it's all crumbling and falling down on top of me. Then suddenly, inexplicably, I'm outside. And the house doesn't even … look like my house. It's … changed somehow. The ambulances and police cars arrive, and … they can't find anyone, except me."

The doctor frowned thoughtfully. "How are you feeling during the dream?"

"I feel scared, confused, completely cut off. I'm devastated."

She said, "Would it be fair to say that you're feeling every bad feeling there is to feel by the end?"

Martha sent the doctor a look and half-smiled. "Anybody ever tell you that you have a way of hitting the nail on the head, Madeline?"

Dr. Scott smiled back at her. "Someone told me once that my favorite tool was a hammer. He was suggesting at the time that I needed to find a smoother, gentler way to get my point across."

She eyed her. "Did you ever take his advice?"

"Not really," she flatly admitted. She shook her head and got back on track. "But let's get back to your dream. I have a theory if you're interested."

She shrugged and said, "I am. Let's hear it."

"First let me ask you a question. In our last session, you said that you're not the good person I think you are. Could you talk to me more about that thought?"

Martha sunk down in thought, considering, weighing, until finally she said, "When I was younger, in my teens, early twenties, I was what you'd call a party girl."

Madeline leaned in, "Weren't we all?"

"No, I don't think many people took it as far as I did," she said, sounding like a person might talk while carefully skating across thin ice. "My family was rich, powerful. It was just … the lifestyle I led. Poverty, illness, abuse… I didn't think they were a problem, because it wasn't a problem for me personally. Then, I met Thomas. He was … different than anyone I'd ever met. He cared, about everything and everyone. I married him, and everything changed. I changed."

"You grew up," she provided.

"I suppose I did."

"Then, why can't you forgive yourself for whatever thoughts or feelings you had during your teenage years? Why are you punishing yourself?"

"That's what you think? You think I'm working for child protective services-"

"Free of charge," Madeline said, interrupting her.

"And having these dreams to punish myself for dismissing the needs of others."

Madeline said, "That might not be the whole story, but I think we're getting there."

(x)

Present Day

Gotham City

Jim Gordon and Captain Barnes looked over from their post at the two-way mirror. Dr. Scott walked out with Harvey, and to Jim, she seemed even-keeled, despite what had taken place. Barnes said all the right words. He thanked her for her service. He assured her that her meeting with Jack Gruber had been more than helpful and promised that when they caught the criminals responsible that the quality of the information they received from Gruber today would prove paramount in their capture.

Jim overheard Madeline say to Harvey. "I'll be right back. I need to return a call I missed. I'll just be around the corner."

Harvey nodded as she left.

Barnes spoke bluntly almost the second the doctor stepped away. "He knows more, even if he got more out of her than she did out of him."

Harvey said, "Or he's just having a field day outside of his broom closet of a cell."

Jim added, "He doesn't have his tools, but he took advantage of the one time he'll get to mess with the mind of a civilian."

Harvey added, "You wanted results, Cap? You shoulda sent me in there. Not her."

Harvey and the Captain began debating when they would return to pump Gruber for more information (within the confines of the law, Barnes' order) and debated the mystery of the 'doctor working underground'. Jim turned back to Jack Gruber sitting alone in the interrogation room. The man stared upward, smiling to himself.

He loved it, Jim realized. He … savored every second. The images returned suddenly and played before his eyes, the same screenshots every time.

Rough rope tied his wrists to a rusty wheelchair. A flash of the knife under Lee's throat. He slid down onto the ground as bullets flew, using the body of a gunned down criminal to shield himself. He pointed his gun forward from where he sat in the passenger side of the crashed police car. Barbara stared down, as if peering into his soul. 'Are you going to shoot me, Jim?' And then they were back at the shattered stained glass window. Barbara let go and fell down, down, down, down and-

He shook the images away from his mind. They broke like a film reel melting apart, abruptly ending a movie.

Was this what it had looked like when he decided to play Barbara's game? The futility of the exercise was so obvious to Jim now, literally standing from the outside looking in.

Jim stood there, feeling the aftershock of the memories that played back from the night Barbara nearly killed them all. No doubt they'd risen into the ether as he knew Barbara was here within these walls, in this very facility. Even though the memories left, he could still hear Lee tied up beside him gasping for breath… Wait, no. That was impossible. Even though he'd been assaulted by the past, he hadn't actually time travelled.

Jim looked towards where he'd seen Dr. Scott leave to take a phone call. He stepped to the side soundlessly and peered around the corner. He stared into an empty, half-lit hallway, where Dr. Scott stood leaning against the concrete wall, hunched over. She was… No, no, she wasn't crying. But she breathed heavily in and out. Her shoulders shook slightly, just enough that it was clear the movement was out of her control.

She seemed to be coming around, and watching her, Jim began to understand.

(x)

The minute Madeline turned the corner she felt herself cave. The thoughts crashed in, picked up speed, and then they looped, running overtop each other.

The way he manipulated her. The way he silenced her. Once again, the only thing better than being toyed with by a madman was having an audience present when it happened. And the look in Jack's eyes was bad enough. … But they reminded her too much one ones that she'd looked into before.

Inexplicably, Madeline thought of Harvey. He walked in and set things straight. He made Gruber the prisoner and her the free citizen. It brought order. It brought sanity. The facts gave her a tiny hand hold. Carefully, she pulled herself back up out of her panic.

She focused first on her breathing. Inhale, exhale, repeat. Then she reframed some of her immediate thoughts.

This was an opportunity to face my fear, and I faced it.

I tried to aid the police investigation. I can't tell the future. The information may yet prove helpful.

I did the best I could. That's all I can do.

She started to feel herself returning to the moment. She looked around and saw… Detective Jim Gordon stepping back and disappearing around the corner. He hadn't wanted her to see, but no doubt he witnessed everything just the same. She decided it wasn't in her best interest to attend to that now. She filed that away to address later.

One last gasp of anxiety broke through.

Gruber made a threat. It's clear he wants you to think he'll end your life.

Ninety percent of the way out of the attack, she easily thought, He's in Arkham. If anyone did want to hurt me, that's where I'd want them to be.

Her breathing returned to normal. Her mind cleared. She walked back slowly, overhearing Gordon, Barnes, and Harvey discussing their next move.

Harvey looked over and called to her. "Hey. We're heading back. Figure we'll pick back up on our last trail."

Madeline nodded. "I'm gonna need a ride back to my office."

Harvey said, "What do I look like? A cab driver?" Then. "Same place?"

"Yeah, turns out when you pay your rent on time for years, they're happy to make some space. Who'da known?"

"I'll get you there." Harvey took out his keys and called out "Cap, Jimbo, I'll meet you back at the GCPD. Won't be long."

As she followed Harvey, at a safe distance she saw Jack Gruber being taken back to his cell by two armed guards. It was only for a split second, but he looked her right in the eye as she went by.