Sooo... Hi.

Two years, huh? Yeah, uh, guess I kinda dropped the ball on updates a little amirite?

...Suppose an 'oops!' and a promise not to do it again ain't really gonna cut the mustard.

Still! On with the show!

"I never meant to fall for you but I

Was buried underneath and

All that I could see was white

My salvation…"

-'Salvation', Gabrielle Aplin

It was a funeral. Simon knew he should be crying, he should be sad, he should be wistfully exchanging stories of the deceased with others who'd known her. But instead he just felt…lost

He'd never had a chance to think about it before- about what he'd given up. Everything had been such a blur that day in the graveyard, and then he was too happy to see Kieren alive, and too devastated to see Amy dead to even consider the repercussions of his actions.

But now he was here, standing alone in the corner while everyone else mingled, and there was precious little else he could think about.

He betrayed them. In the end, he turned his back on the one thing he'd believed in, the one thing he'd sworn his loyalty to. His entire second life dedicated to one cause, and in the one moment it mattered he'd said no. He could see the way the others looked at him now- like they expected any day to find him with a noose around his neck, completing his transformation into the ULA's Judas and punishing himself for his transgression. Like it would be no less than he deserved. Sometimes he wondered…

A funeral was probably the most disrespectful place for self-centred introspection, but Simon couldn't help it. This was the first time he'd been alone in days- not hovering at Kieren's shoulder should he be needed, or helping the other Walkers with the funeral preparations. It was easy to push your own problems to the side when there were others to think about. But now Kieren was away somewhere, probably mingling like people are supposed to do at these things, and there was very little left to serve as a distraction. Nothing to quash the doubts gnawing away at his very sanity.

It was Amy. It had been Amy all along. It had been so easy to let himself believe it was Kieren. That story he told at dinner had been all the indication he'd needed- why wouldn't it be Kieren? Strong, beautiful, unique Kieren. Who could possibly be better suited to the title of First Risen? He still wasn't entirely convinced he'd been misled. For all he knew, Maxine had got the wrong person…

But then Amy's death really had been for nothing.

He didn't know what was worse; Amy dying for a cause that turned out to be false, or Amy dying when it should have been someone else. Both prospects just as horrible as each other.

It wasn't a helpful thought to dwell on, but… he couldn't help but wonder what he would have done. What if he'd got the tip about Amy? Would that have made it easier? Harder? Would he have done his job, or delegated it? Maybe he would have stopped it altogether. Taken the bullet- literally. But he just didn't know. He'd never know. He'd live the rest of his long, undead life not knowing what he would have done if the tables were turned, and that… he didn't even have words.

For a moment, he allowed himself to selfishly wish Kieren would drop whatever he was doing and come back to him. It was easier to think about better things with Kieren close- easier to forget what a royal fuck-up he'd made out of everything. Because Kieren was alive and safe, so he couldn't have fucked up too badly, right? Well, alive, at least. Safe… well, that remained to be seen.

If there was one thing Simon knew, it was the ULA. He'd lived it, breathed it, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was not over. As long as a traitor remained alive, as long as there was a possibility they hadn't yet found what they were looking for, they would be back, and this time they'd be out for blood. His blood. And, more horrifyingly, Kieren's.

His fingers were twitching. His breath was starting to come short. It took a concerted mental effort to calm himself down, still his mind and body. Nothing to be gained from panicking besides funny looks from the funeral-goers. He had this under control.

He looked down to the corner, to the bag he'd packed days ago. Ready and waiting.

The ULA wouldn't find what they were looking for. He'd make damn sure of it.

Simon was practically ready to crawl out of his skin when Kieren found him some time later. With every instinct screaming at him to grab Kieren and get out of town before anyone came looking, he was hard-pressed to stand still. But he owed it to Kieren, the Walkers and Amy herself to at least stay for the rest of the wake- it may be their last chance to say goodbye.

He felt the tension in his body loosen as Kieren approached, but not even his shy smile could stop the warning bells ringing in Simon's mind. He matched the smile as best he could, but felt it must have come out as more of a grimace.

"Alright?" he asked, voice low. Kieren smiled bravely, shoulders hunching slightly in his suit. He'd left out the cover-up and contacts again today, and good lord did he wear his real self well, but a part of Simon was starting to wonder if lying low wasn't a good idea given the circumstances.

He darted a quick glance to his bag, still waiting for him in the corner, and took a deep, unnecessary breath. "After this is over," he said quietly, glancing over Kieren's shoulder to check that no one was listening in. "We should go."

Kieren frowned, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. "Go where?"

"Away from here," Simon said, shrugging slightly. Truth was he didn't care where they went now, so long as he had Kieren by his side and a good head start on the Prophet's disciples. Anything else was secondary. "It's not safe."

Kieren was already shaking his head. "I can't leave."

"Isn't leaving what you wanted?" Simon asked, mildly exasperated. Trust Kieren to be contrary at the worst possible moments.

"It was," Kieren said, eyes dropping. He frowned, and Simon could see the cogs turning in his head. "Amy asked me once, how many miles I'd have to walk before I was okay with myself. I thought I'd have to go around the whole world…"

He looked back up, and his frown melted away. Something took hold in his expression, something serene and unfamiliar. A quiet sense of… confidence.

It was the single most beautiful sight Simon had ever laid eyes on.

"But I don't think that anymore," Kieren continued, gentle smile still in place. "I'm okay here."

Everything logical in Simon demanded he press his point. Roarton was no longer safe. The ULA would be out for their blood any moment, and he couldn't even guess what the living citizens had in store for them next.

But there was not a force on God's green earth that could make him refuse Kieren anything he wanted in that moment.

"Okay," he mouthed, smiling in turn.

The way Kieren's face lit up in that moment made him feel he could fight an army with his bare hands.

And it was just as well it did, because he could see both Kieren's parents advancing.

Sometimes he really missed alcohol. He could really go for a drop of liquid courage round about now.

"Simon," Steve said, face neutral.

Simon only nodded. He wasn't precisely sure how to respond. Where exactly did he stand with the elder Walkers at this point in time? He hadn't given it much thought. Fortunately, Steve saved him the trouble, holding out his hand.

"Wanted to thank you."

Simon cocked his head. "Thank me?"

Steve didn't smile, or laugh or even frown. He remained the picture of simple sincerity. "You saved Kier's life."

After a moment's hesitation, Simon reached out and took his hand in a firm shake. Some unnameable emotion was fluttering in his chest, closing up his throat. "Reflex," he rasped through the blockage, smiling shyly.

Steve withdrew his hand, Sue smiling from his side. "Got a place to stay, 'ave you Simon?"

"I'm up at Amy's bungalow at the moment," Simon replied, although he suspected he may need to look for somewhere a little off the beaten track if he planned on sticking around.

Sue glanced away, and he saw where her eyes wandered immediately. "Not going away, I hope?" she asked, nodding towards his bag, ready and waiting for his imminent departure.

He could feel Kieren's eyes on him. He glanced at him. He was smiling sweetly, swaying in place in a boyish manner. It was literally too cute for words. Clever bastard.

"No," Simon replied, tearing his gaze away to smile at Sue. "No, I'm staying put."

And to his surprise, he meant it.

Kieren disappeared again shortly after that. Probably to look for his sister- she'd been gone a while. Simon considered checking on her himself, but wasn't sure she'd appreciate the intrusion. Kieren would take care of her. Those two always took care of each other. Jem, Sue, Steve, the infrastructure remained intact. Simon repeated their names in his head like a mantra, as if by naming the people he could trust with Kieren's safety he could ward off evil spirits.

He still wasn't totally sold on this idea. The ULA were out for vengeance, and though the local humans were contrite in the face of Amy's murder he knew their next bright idea was only on the horizon. The safest thing for both of them would be to get as far away from this place as possible, lie low and change their names, wait for the rest of the world to catch up before re-introducing themselves into society.

But he would never force Kieren to go anywhere, do anything against his will. And as long as Kieren stayed put, Simon would stand guard over him.

When he thought about it like that, everything seemed so very simple. Where Kieren goes, he goes. The thought was strangely liberating. He didn't feel powerless anymore, with his heart and mind set on that beautiful man's safety. He felt calm. Purposeful.

All his life he'd been adrift, cast about endlessly in a vast sea of his own doubts and mistakes. The ULA had been a life raft, but Kieren… Kieren was his anchor. He was his compass, his rudder, the brightly shining North Star itself.

And Simon would follow him to the ends of the Earth and back without question.

God help him.

"You are the snowstorm

I'm purified

The darkest fairy tale

In the dead of night."

Sorry it was so short. And introspective. And basically actionless. Not gonna lie kiddos, you basically had the last of the action with chapter 9. Hey, at least I didn't leave you on a cliffhanger, right?

I'm sorry if these last chapters ain't too impressive. I lost passion for this story a little bit a long time ago, got some nasty messages, basically flat-out lost the will to write it. But I re-watched ITF lately, remembered how much I love love LOVE the show, and basically decided I owed it to everyone who ever read this to finish it, even if what I post now really has no way of living up to two years' worth of building expectations. I hope you like 'em anyway- and I promise that should I ever go ahead with that sequel I was planning, I will have it all written BEFORE I start posting. No more two-year hiatuses, pinkie promise!

Final two chapters to be uploaded in the next few days after proofreading, so until then, please don't hurt me! X