It is done!
Enjoy 3
"So when I'm ready to be bolder
And these cuts have healed with time
Comfort will rest on my shoulder
And I'll bury my future behind
I'll always keep you with me
You'll be always on my mind
But there's a shining in the shadows
I'll never know unless I try
With every small disaster
I'll let the waters still
Take me away to someplace real…"
-'Home', Gabrielle Aplin
"Mornin', Simon!" Sue beamed, glancing at the flowers in his hands with a raised eyebrow.
He cleared his throat awkwardly, clutching the stems a little tighter. "Kieren in?"
"Just a minute, love," Sue said, leaving the front door ajar as she disappeared back into the house. "Kieren! It's for you!"
"Coming!" a voice called from within, heavy footsteps sounding on the stairs. Simon could just see the ungainly lope that accompanied the sound in his mind's eye, and it brought an involuntary smile to his face.
It was nothing compared to the smile he gave when he finally saw him. Kieren looked… well, he looked as Kieren always looked. Which, as far as Simon was concerned, was about as perfect as any one person or thing could be.
Kieren reached for his coat (as if he bloody needed it, he was wearing at least three layers already). "Ready to go?"
"Of course," Simon said, holding out the flowers. Kieren took them, holding them gently to his chest with a soft smile.
"Have fun, you two," Sue said, glancing at the flowers sadly. "Say hello from us, yeah?"
"Will do, Mum," Kieren said, ducking down to peck her on the cheek.
"Be careful!" Steve's voice sounded from the kitchen.
"Always am, Dad!" Kieren lied smoothly. Only Simon was privy to his subtle wink as he swept out the door.
Sue gently stopped Simon with a hand on his arm, pecking him on the cheek as Kieren had done to her moments before. "Take care of each other, alright?"
Simon smiled. "Will do, Mum," he echoed Kieren's words lightly, delighting in the small laugh it pulled from her.
Maybe staying in Roarton wasn't Kieren's most terrible idea after all.
"They're lovely," Kieren murmured, stroking a lily's silken petals.
"Bumped into Shirley at the florists'," Simon said. "She had some input on the colours."
Kieren smiled slightly. "She would have approved," he said, bending down to lean the flowers against Amy Dyer's tombstone. It was the same one as before, re-used from her first death. No sense letting a perfectly good stone go to waste. The only difference was the new engraving, still fresh beneath the old ones. A new set of dates; 2009-2013. Four years. She'd been given a second chance of life, and in the end she'd barely even gotten started. He straightened up, frowning at the fresh soil. "What happened to the tiger? Thought Phil said he left it here."
Simon shrugged. "Probably came back for it. Couldn't've been easy, leaving it here. Don't s'pose he's got much else left of her."
"Don't suppose anyone does," Kieren sighed. He lowered himself awkwardly to the ground, sitting with his knees to his chest at the foot of Amy's grave as he had at Rick's not so long ago. He was beginning to make a habit of this.
Simon sat at his side, legs stretched out and fingers fiddling with the zipper of his coat. For once, he didn't say anything. Probably didn't feel there was much to say.
Kieren closed his eyes as the sun broke through the clouds, turning his face up into the light. He could feel Simon's eyes on his face, but more than that; for a split second, he felt sure he could feel the sun, warm and golden on his skin like honey. He chased the feeling, craving it like a drowning man craves a breath of sweet winter air. It didn't last. It was gone so quickly, he felt sure he must have simply imagined the temporary shred of warmth in his otherwise cold, grey world.
His eyes drifted open, a deep sigh rattling his lungs as he watched the first sunshine of the winter once more fade behind the clouds. He turned instead to face his companion, and his breath caught.
Simon had that look on his face again. Open, and adoring and about as honest as Kieren had ever seen him. He caught Kieren looking and turned his gaze down, disarmingly shy. "Sorry," he mumbled, tangling his fingers in the brittle grass. "Know you didn't want me doing that anymore…"
Kieren said nothing, leaning forward to wrap his arms around his raised knees. He was resigned to the fact that Simon might stare at him from time to time. He could let it slide once or twice.
Simon cleared his throat, attempting to dispel the tension he'd inadvertently charged the air with. "So," he tried for light-heartedness, bumping Kieren's shoulder in an approximation of playfulness. "You sure about this place, are you? Next train out of here's in twenty minutes. No pressure or anything."
Kieren smirked. "Quite sure," his expression soured, and he turned his face away. "You don't have to stay here, Simon. I won't tell you what to do."
"Don't have to," Simon cut in.
"If you're not happy here…"
"You're happy here," Simon said. "That's good enough for me."
"…Thank you," Kieren murmured.
"S'no problem," Simon shrugged, but Kieren could see the smile tugging at his lips. "You must really love this place."
Now it was Kieren's turn to shrug. "It's alright."
He saw Simon's raised eyebrow. It pulled a dry laugh out of him. "I'm not staying for the scenery, Simon."
"I hear Paris has some nice scenery round this time of year…" Simon said temptingly. Kieren was already shaking his head.
"I've got other things to stick around for," Kieren said. "I'm not staying for the house, or the cave or the pub. Can't even say I'm staying for Amy or Rick, although it does feel nice to be close to 'em. Come sit with 'em like this. But it's not about the place. I just… I wanna stay. For Jem. And Mum and Dad," he ducked his head. "And, y'know… you. If you're alright with that."
Simon was silent for a long time. Kieren looked up to find him staring again. Even more intensely than the first time around.
Kieren just cocked his head. Curiosity got the better of him. "What do you see?"
The disciple watched him closely, expression softening. It took him a few minutes to answer, but Kieren didn't rush him- he wanted the truth, and he'd wait for it.
Finally, Simon smiled. "Life."
Kieren rolled his eyes. "I know you like your irony, Si, but…"
"I mean it," Simon said, in all seriousness. "You may be dead, but Kieren… I look at you, and I see life. As it was intended to be. Kieren Walker, you're alive in a way the word doesn't quite prepare you for," he smiled. "S'why Amy loved you…" he ducked his head, shy again. When he spoke next, his voice was barely above a whisper. "S'why I love you."
Kieren didn't respond. And it didn't look like Simon expected him too.
Kieren didn't have an answer for him yet. A word like that wasn't about to pass his lips, not today.
But when he looked at Simon he could see it. The possibility, perhaps even inevitability. He wasn't in love with Simon Monroe.
But it was only a matter of time.
So even if he didn't have the words, he let the feeling- the warm, fluttering sensation that Simon awakened in his chest- show in his eyes. He really had no reason to keep up the pretence of a mask anymore. "Thank you," he said again, softer this time. For saying that. For meaning it. For every time you've helped me, held me, made me feel more alive than I've felt in years. For everything. "For staying."
The smile Simon gave him was probably the warmest he'd ever seen it. "For you, Kieren Walker? Anything."
"'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone
Is where you go when you're alone
Is where you go to rest your bones
It's not just where you lay your head
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?
Home…"
Hope that was at least partially worth the wait.
Everyone still reading this- cheers for not giving up on me. You're all stars, you really are. And maybe one of these days you'll even see the sequel- although no way in hell am I posting that 'til I've got all the chapters written and am DAMN SURE there won't be anymore two-year hiatuses xD
That'll probably be it for ITF for me for now. But everyone in this fandom rocks, and I still live in hope that one day our beloved show will rise again 3