Chapter 15: Losers, Weepers

a/n: Hey all! With recent events on the show my mojo got a little thwarted, but I'm determined to stay with this thing to the bitter end. Hope you all enjoy angst...

Hayley arrived back at the compound exactly three days after they'd broken the news of her existence to Hope. She appeared intact, albeit a bit thinner than usual and sporting dark shadows beneath both of her eyes. She was calm and subdued, and, other than brief offerings of condolence, no one spoke to her much about the recent death of her husband. She seemed uncomfortable discussing her loss, and no one seemed to know exactly what to say, anyway. She stood in the living room exchanging pleasantries and wringing her hands, nervously, for several tense minutes until, eventually, Freya and Rebekah both found other places they suddenly needed to be. Klaus hovered nervously on the periphery of a room he ordinarily dominated, and Elijah seemed more ill at ease than anyone. In the end, it was Cami who took pity on her and suggested they go upstairs and say hello to the children.

Hayley looked stricken for a moment, but then seemed to recover, nodding her assent and following Cami toward the front stairs. Klaus seemed poised to follow but then appeared to think better of it. Elijah looked on, his eyes filled with concern, as the two women left the room.

"I'd heard you had a child while you were away…I…didn't know if it was true or not," Hayley said, quietly.

"I have a son," Cami confirmed. "His name is Dominik," she offered, politely, as they ascended the stairs.

"How old is he?" Hayley asked.

Cami wasn't sure if the other woman was making small talk in order to calm her nerves or if she was actually trying to glean information, but she answered her, nonetheless. "Two-and-a-half," she smiled, tightly. "Actually, he'll be three on Valentine's day."

Hayley nodded, remaining silent.

Cami couldn't be sure, but she thought the pretty brunette was probably running the numbers in her head, calculating exactly how many months she'd been gone before she'd given birth to her son. It was the reaction she expected, so it didn't really bother her. She was surprised though when, moments later, Hayley offered, "Klaus must have been thrilled when he heard the news."

There was no malice or sarcasm in her voice, just casual observation.

For a moment Cami didn't know how to respond, but after several seconds, having sufficiently recovered, she was able to answer, "He was…Klaus was…I think he didn't know what to think, honestly."

"Really?" Hayley seemed genuinely surprised.

Cami eyed her suspiciously for several seconds before answering, slowly. "Well, yeah…I mean, it's not like we planned it or even thought…" Cami trailed off, shrugging, helplessly.

"Yeah, I guess not," Hayley agreed, empathy arranging her pretty features into a look of understanding.

"Anyway," Cami breathed. "This is it," she said, gesturing toward the open doorway of her bedroom. "The nursery is just through here." She hoped that Hayley couldn't detect the fine tremble in her voice.

"What does she know about me?" Hayley asked, staring straight ahead, not moving to meet Cami's eyes.

"The truth," Cami answered, honestly. "Or at least, as much of it as she could understand," she allowed. "I told her that her mother and father loved her very much, and that they did what they did to protect her." Cami hesitated, and then added, quietly, "She's had a happy life, Hayley."

"Cami…no…I…I didn't mean to imply," Hayley stumbled over her words, before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She stilled. "Wait, she knows I'm her mom?" Hayley whispered, blinking sudden moisture from her eyes.

"I told her that you were her first mother," Cami acknowledged, feeling guilty referring to herself as Hope's mother, at all, while standing face to face with Hayley, but at the same time feeling exceedingly protective of the bond she shared with Hope.

"Thank you," Hayley managed, softly, once she'd regained her composure. "For what you did. You'll never know how much I appreciate it. This can't be easy for you either."

Cami smiled, shakily, and gave a small shake of her head in acknowledgement of Hayley's words. She didn't try to speak. She didn't trust her voice just yet, and she needed to hold it together for Hope's sake. After a few more seconds and a couple more deep breaths, she strode purposefully toward the nursery.

It took about twenty minutes for Hope to interact directly with Hayley once the introductions had been made. The girl stayed close by Cami's side at first, eyeing Hayley speculatively, whilst Hayley attempted one-sided conversation. Dominik, on the other hand, had no such qualms and chatted happily with their new guest, offering her blocks and toy boats to play with. To Hayley's credit, she played sweetly with Dominik, all the while maintaining a steady effort to engage Hope in conversation as well. Eventually, Nik and Hayley's giggles persuaded Hope to leave Cami's side and venture over to the small kingdom they'd built out of wooden blocks. Her tiny hand had trailed behind her, not quite ready to let go of the safety Cami provided. Her fingertips maintained contact with Cami's thigh, until she finally moved far enough away that the connection was lost. Watching her go caused an acute ache to spread throughout Cami's chest, but it was tempered with a strong sense of relief that Hope was feeling more confident with the situation, less afraid.

It was an odd mix of emotions, and Cami suspected she'd be feeling this constant sense of ambivalence for a long time.

She had thought she would be terrified of the idea of Hayley absconding with Hope, but as it turned out, Hayley seemed almost as cautious of Hope as the girl was of her. Cami watched as her eyes continuously dragged over the child from head to toe, no doubt cataloguing all that had changed in the last three-and-a-half years. After all, Hope had been an infant when Hayley had lost her to circumstances beyond her control, and now here she was, a little girl, full of ideas and opinions and knowledge, not to mention the physical changes, which were also vast.

Cami observed Hayley, silently, from a distance. After what had happened to Jackson and the sudden shock of seeing her infant daughter now approaching school-age, the other woman seemed adrift, less of a threat and more just…one more person who needed this to be their home. Cami wondered if the Mikaelson's could find it in their hearts to absorb one more person into this patchwork family they'd created. They'd made it work with Hayley once before, when Hope was a baby. Cami knew that nothing would make Elijah happier than having Hayley here, where he could watch over her. Rebekah would do whatever was best for Hope, no questions asked, and sweet Freya seemed forever willing to accept new family, no matter the reason.

Klaus, on the other hand…

There was no love lost between Klaus and Hayley at this point, though Cami was pretty sure that he would be amenable to any option that might let them all retain equal footing in Hope's life. Whether or not Hayley would accept a place here though, remained to be seen, but she seemed to need the comfort of a home right now, this was the closest thing she had to that since Jackson was gone.

Cami felt a growing sense of certainty that this was her chance to make this work, to make them all see that they could do this as a single family unit. Right now, in this finite window of time, while Hayley needed them, was her chance to make them all see what this family could be.

Cami pulled the sleeves of her sweater down over her chilled fingers and bowed her head against the steady drizzle that had begun to fall not long after she'd left the compound. Her long blonde hair hung in damp waves around her shoulders, but she needed this time on her own, so she pressed on.

She needed space from everyone she'd left behind those impenetrable walls.

Hayley had been at the compound for three days, and it had been a challenging three days to say the least. Cami had gone from being Hope's primary care-giver to being one of three primary care-givers, and she'd poured her heart and soul into making the transition go as smoothly as possible. She'd already been sharing a little of her parental responsibility with Klaus, and even though it had been a welcome change, even that had felt foreign to her. Adding Hayley into the mix was a daunting task, one that had taken its toll on her both mentally and physically. She wasn't sleeping well, hadn't felt like eating, and she knew her temper was getting the best of her. She'd snapped at Nik this morning for no reason, and the look on his sweet little face had made her feel like the worst mother in the world. She'd apologized immediately, and he'd forgiven her and forgotten all about it in a matter of minutes, but hours later, she still felt guilty.

To make matters worse, Klaus seemed to be pulling away from her…now, when she needed him more than she ever had before. They'd been so close the last couple of weeks…that night after the kids had fallen asleep they'd even danced toward something physical, but the past few days he'd grown increasingly distant.

Ever since Hayley had come back.

She sighed.

She didn't really think it had anything to do with Hayley. She thought it was probably just coincidence, though she couldn't for the life of her figure out what had set this sudden change into motion. Granted, Klaus had never been an open book with her, not really. He'd always doled out information about himself in tiny little increments, the one exception being when he'd briefly allowed her to look inside his mind. She cherished the trust he'd placed in her in that moment. Perhaps that's why it stung all the more now that he seemed to be shutting her out once again.

Her booted feet scraped along the wet pavement as she turned a corner and crossed under a large wrought-iron archway. She hadn't had a destination in mind when she'd left the compound, but she wasn't surprised to find herself standing in front of Sean's grave. She ran her fingers over the cold marble, tracing the faded pinky-red streaks of graffiti that had long since been cleared away. Mercifully, there were no current words of hate scrawled across the otherwise pristine stone.

"Hey, Sean," she whispered. "It's been awhile." She looked up at the gray sky and squinted her eyes against the glare. "I'm a mom now," she offered into the silence. "I haven babies of my own, can you believe that?" She sniffed against the sudden pressure in her sinuses. "You have a nephew. I named him Dominik, but his middle name is Reece…after you. He even looks a little bit like you. You'd really love him, Bub," she whispered, her voice catching on the last word. She pictured her son's wounded expression from this morning, his big blue eyes, shining with unshed tears. She remembered seeing the same expression on Sean's face when they were little, when his feelings had been especially hurt. Pressing her forehead against the cold marble, she gave herself permission to grieve for just a minute…for all the moments she and her brother would never share. He would never be Uncle Sean to her kids, never laugh at their antics or feel pride at their accomplishments, and he would never have kids of his own. She would never be Aunt Cami to his babies. Their kids would never be the closest of cousins. There would be no cousins at all, because there was no Sean, not anymore. No Sean, no Uncle Kieran…and, it would seem, no Klaus. No one at all. Placing one hand flat against the stone, she breathed in and out several times. "Sean," she whispered, brokenly, "I really miss you…and I really wish you were here with me right now."

Klaus bowed his head and faded back around the corner of the nearest tomb. He'd come to watch over her, sensing her emotional turmoil as she'd left the compound. He'd watched her take off in a meandering path, wondering where she would go, and who, if anyone, she would seek out in her despair. He should have known she'd come to find comfort amongst the dead, after all, all those who were dearest to her had been lost, save the children. Given the current situation with Hope, she had to be feeling as if even they were at risk of slipping through her fingers if she wasn't vigilant.

Klaus had trailed behind her, silently, at a distance, watching as she trudged mindlessly through near-deserted winter streets. Mardi Gras would be rolling around soon enough, but for now, the streets remained blessedly tourist free. He'd struggled against the urge to catch up with her when the cold moisture in the air took the form of a light drizzle and began to fall, coating her hair in a fine mist, until it began to dampen and curl. He resisted the impulse to drape his jacket over her slender frame, cocooning her in his warmth and protecting her from the chill in the air. His fists clenched at his sides as he watched her fingers, pale with cold, draw up into her damp sweater for shelter. Only the knowledge that she'd obviously needed time away from him kept him from approaching her.

For the past several days, he had watched her do everything in her power to make Hayley feel welcome in their home, and to make Hope feel comfortable in Hayley's presence. And it was working. It wasn't perfect, by any stretch of the imagination…it would, of course, take time, but Hope was taking it all in stride, adjusting to yet another new person in her life. Thanks, in part, to Cami's insistence that they all spend time together, creating an environment wherein Hope felt safe to explore the new relationship that had been presented to her. Camille's psychology degree was getting a workout, but the child was making strides.

She was a remarkable woman, fascinating even.

She thought he didn't see what she was up to though, making them all realize how grand life might be if only they could all get along. However, Klaus had lived a long time…long enough to know that these types of arrangements had a way of falling apart under the weight of familial tensions and expectations.

And he would not be the thing that caused the collapse of this intricate house of cards that she was constructing around them. Not this time.

He could sense Camille's fear of him, her worry that one wrong move by any one of them might send him into a violent rage, causing him to destroy the fragile structure she'd worked so hard to build. After all, his anger had already cost Hayley years with their daughter, had it not? What was to stop him from making the same mistake again? From letting his anger over-power his self-control?

But if he'd learned nothing else from that calamity, he'd learned the value of time.

He would not cost Camille any precious time she had with Hope, and he knew that by attempting to build a life with her, he would do just that. He was cursed, damned. He had hurt everyone he'd ever dared to love, and he knew with a certainty borne of a thousand years of history that if he allowed himself to love her, it would all turn to ash in his hands.

He would be damned if she'd get burned because of him.

As much as he wanted a chance at the life he'd glimpsed with her…a life with his own family-a daughter and a son and perhaps, if he was lucky, even someday a wife…he knew it could never be. Her fear and uncertainty when she'd looked at him over the past few days had cemented his resolve. She knew him well…perhaps best of all, and if she believed him capable of destroying their happiness, she was right…he knew that she was right to fear the darkness in him. She'd seen inside him, had seen the fate that would undoubtedly await her, should she take a chance on building a life with him. And yet, she would…she would risk it all, for him…because that's who she was.

But he couldn't allow her to do it.

It was best for all of them if he kept his distance. He would still be there for the children, of course, but as far as Camille was concerned, he would stay well removed from her presence unless absolutely necessary.

Perhaps, he thought grimly, after a thousand years on this earth, he was finally growing up. Or perhaps being a father had changed him more profoundly than even he had realized. Regardless, he knew that the best thing for all of them was that he focus on being a good father, and keep his distance from Camille.

He watched as she wiped her eyes and blew out a shaky breath, running her fingers along the cool marble one last time. Goodbye Sean, he read on her lips, before she turned, slowly, and started back the way she'd come.

He followed at a safe distance, making certain not to disturb her solitude.