So... this chapter was super depressing to write. I hope it's not too awful to read, but there were things that needed to happen that were unavoidable.
"Raven, honey, I need you to open your eyes for me."
She didn't want to move or think. She just wanted to sleep for a very long time. When she was sleeping, she wasn't puking. Suddenly, someone was opening one of her eyelids and flashing a light, and she squeezed her eye shut, her hand reaching up and pushing someone away.
"Are you awake?"
"Yeah," she grated out, blinking in the bright light.
"We need you to drink some more tea and then eat something."
The girl groaned, closing her eyes.
"Come on, sweetie," Abby said, patting her face lightly.
Raven sighed, and opened her eyes to see a mug being brought toward her lips. She decided to be compliant and take a sip.
"Good girl."
Raven glared at Abby. She hated being patronized. She took a few more sips, and then the doctor replaced the mug for a bowl with a spoon. Raven managed about 5 spoonfuls of the chunky soup, and then began to get tired.
"Just take a couple more bites for me."
She took two more spoonfuls of soup, and then realized with more than a little annoyance that she needed to relieve herself-badly.
"Abby, I need to pee."
"Okay."
The doctor got her brace-which had been taken off the day before-and helped her put it on, then helped her toward the private restroom in the med bay. It was little more than a chamber pot and a bottle of hand sanitizer. When she was done, Raven emerged from the room, feeling dizzy and exhausted. She made her way back to her sick room, and Abby made her eat another half-bowl of soup.
"How long was I asleep?" She asked, giving her fragile digestive system a minute to rest.
"About 34 hours."
"What?"
"We couldn't wake you. I was getting very concerned. We've got to get your nausea under control. Your body and your baby need more food." Abby was about to say more, when she realized Raven was asleep again.
She woke again, losing whatever was in her stomach. She could feel her esophagus burning with stomach acid. Things were blurry, and her head ached. No one was around to keep her awake, so she went to sleep again.
"Raven, wake up." A bit of cold water was dripped onto her forehead, and the girl growled, wiping her face. She was surprised to find how weak she was. Her hand was shaky, and she was exhausted just from the effort it took to bring it up to her face.
"You need some food."
She didn't have the energy to protest. Her saliva felt thick in her mouth, and at the smell of the soup, she gagged. She didn't have anything to throw up, but spat, shuttering.
"Raven, it's okay."
She could still smell the food too near, and coughed before mumbling "Get it away. I can still smell it. Get it away!"
"Okay. Okay." Octavia left her for a moment, and the smell was gone. "Raven, how about a little water. There's no smell."
She groaned, but nodded. Octavia helped to prop her up slightly, then held a bottle to her lips. Raven took a small sip, then pulled away.
"You know," Raven said in a scratchy voice, "I thought I was going to die when Murphy shot me. And then again when I was blown up by my own bomb. And then again when I got drilled by the mountain men. I guess it never really crossed my mind that I'd die from getting pregnant."
"You're not going to die, Raven."
"I'm not an idiot. If I can't eat more and drink more, I'll die."
"Supplies are coming from Mount Weather. There will be things that can help you."
"Do you know that, or are you just hoping?"
Octavia smiled sadly.
"Have some more water."
She took another sip, then began to doze, when she felt something tight around her upper arm. Opening her eyes, she saw Abby swabbing her arm.
"What are you doing?"
"Giving you an IV. I should have done it earlier, but we have to conserve medical equipment. We don't have any medications for you, but the fluids will keep you hydrated."
The doctor stuck her with the needle, then flushed it with a syringe of something. She then attached plastic tubing connected with a bag of clear fluid. Raven got a metallic taste in her mouth and then felt a chill run through her as the liquid started to go into her vein.
Awareness was fleeting for a while. She finally woke to Octavia patting her face.
"I've got tea."
"Don't you have something better to do?"
"No, not really," Octavia said with a smile.
"You know, everyone's been worried," The warrior girl said as Raven took small sips of tea.
"Have you told anyone?"
"Of course not."
She nodded in thanks, then shut her eyes, dozing off. Octavia was quick to pat her cheek until she woke up again, groaning.
"Hey, you've gotta eat."
Raven reluctantly accepted a spoonful of soup, but seconds later, it was coming back up. Octavia got her a bucket, but not before she had vomited down her shirt. When she was finished, Octavia gave her a damp cloth to wipe her mouth and face.
"You need anything?"
She shook her head, wiping her eyes.
"How about I go wash your shirt while you take a rest?"
Raven nodded appreciatively, then with some effort, pulled off her vomit-stained shirt, handing it to Octavia. Pulling her blanket up, she fell back to sleep.
Octavia went out to the washing station at the camp, where she rinsed out Raven's shirt. Just then, Wick approached her.
"Octavia, how's Raven?"
"She's okay."
"I haven't seen her in a week. Is she contagious or something? Abby won't let me see her."
"No, she's not contagious. Honestly, she just doesn't have a lot of energy for visitors."
"What's wrong with her?"
She shrugged, trying to imply she didn't know.
Octavia hurried out of the conversation, and when she got back to the med bay, Raven was awake and throwing up. When she finally finished, she looked up at the warrior girl and burst into tears. Octavia wasn't sure what to do. Raven was less like herself every moment.
"Raven, you're going to be okay. We're going to load you up with tea, and get this morning sickness under control, and then in what… 7 months? You'll have a baby."
The young woman closed her eyes, relieved to hear something positive. Even if it was all lies, she just needed to hear that it was going to be okay. With that knowledge, she fell asleep.
The next day, Raven was conscious for several hours, and Wick was insisting to see her.
"Raven," Abby said, "Wick's outside. He wants to see you. Is that okay with you?"
She thought for a moment, then nodded. It's not like he could just look at her and tell she was pregnant.
"Hey, slacker."
"Hey." Her voice grated past her throat unpleasantly.
"You look like shit."
"Thanks."
"Are you feeling any better?"
"Working on it."
"I finished working on the heaters."
"Good."
She was exhausted, and was trying hard to keep the conversation going, but only ended up with a few short words. Wick hadn't known she was feeling this bad. He felt guilty for even visiting her.
"Can I do anything to make you feel better?"
She shook her head.
"I could bring something for you to work on. Some designs of mine for you to crap on."
"I've just been sleeping a lot. I don't really have the energy to do much…" Despite her best efforts, she yawned.
"Does that mean I should go?"
"What no, I just-" she was cut off by another yawn.
"I'll go. Feel better, okay Wrench Monkey?"
She nodded and slumped back in bed.
After Wick left, Abby glanced at her knowingly.
"What, Abby?"
"When are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'll just say it's Finn's baby."
"Raven."
"I know."
Halfway through the following week, Raven was still feeling like crap. Abby got some anti-emetics from Mount Weather, but they only did so much. She was still losing weight and barely managing one meal a day. Abby, Jackson, Octavia, and Lincoln were the only ones who knew, and they did their best to keep her pregnancy a secret until she was ready to tell other people. It was not an easy task. Bellamy, Jasper, and Monty all wanted to know what was going on with her. They had all come to visit her, each on different days, so as not to tire her out too much.
One day Jasper finally popped the question while he was visiting, showing Raven a project he had been helping Wick with. Octavia was braiding Raven's hair away from her face so it didn't get vomit on it.
"So… what are you actually sick with?"
Raven looked up at Octavia in alarm.
"Um...I'm getting better."
"But what do you have?"
"I… I can't tell you that. I'll tell you soon."
"Does Octavia know?"
The warrior girl glanced down at Raven, waiting for her to respond.
"Yes, she does."
"Octavia, is Raven dying?"
"No."
"Really, that's it?"
"Yup. Until she wants to say more, I'm not telling you anything."
Raven smiled at Octavia, but her face fell as she suddenly felt ill.
"Oct-" The warrior had already brought the bucket up to meet her as Raven gagged and retched.
"Holy shit," Jasper said.
"Jasper, you should go," Octavia said.
"Do you want me to get Abby?" Jasper asked.
"No, it's okay."
Jasper left, and Raven continued to be sick.
When her stomach stopped trying to turn inside out, Raven wiped her mouth, looking up at Octavia.
"I'm going to go crazy, O. If I don't die first, I'm going to go crazy."
"First of all, stop talking about dying. You're not going to die. But yeah… If I were in your shoes, I'd be going crazy too."
"I think I should tell Wick tomorrow."
"I think so too."
"But what if… what if he doesn't…"
"He got you into this mess. If he doesn't take responsibility I'll string him up by his testicles and we'll all take turns stabbing him, like the grounders do."
Raven winced slightly at the reference to her torture, which hadn't been that long ago. A moment later, though, she smiled. Although Wick was strong, she had little doubt that Octavia could deck him. She knew, even if he didn't support her, that she had people looking after her.