Here's a little update. It's a little sappy, but I don't care.
Finally, Abby cleared Raven for work. She woke up earlier than usual, excited to be productive again. She threw up twice within her first 20 minutes of being up, but tried not to let that discourage her.
"Hey Wrench Monkey," Wick greeted her, as they both walked toward the lab. That day, they were working on reworking the heating system on the crashed arc so that it could be used with a wood-burning furnace.
After sitting in one of the vents for several hours that afternoon, welding, Raven dropped her backpack ahead of her, then emerged and tumbled to the ground, grunting slightly as she landed hard on her hands and behind.
"Woah, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Wick," she said, pulling off her helmet and gloves, and grabbing her feed backpack, which she had dropped down ahead of her.
"You've gotta be careful."
"Lay off it, Wick. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I need to be treated like I'm broken."
"Raven, come on."
"Maybe I shouldn't be working at all, huh Wick? Maybe I should just stay in bed for the rest of my life! Cause I'm just some weak girl, right? Some weak, broken, slutty girl who nobody could ever respect!"
She stormed out of the room
That night, Raven stopped by the med bay to get a new bag of nutrients from Abby.
"How much did you keep down today?" Abby asked, taking her blood pressure.
"I was too nauseated for breakfast this morning, and I had some lunch, but I threw it up."
"What about dinner?"
"I was too angry for dinner."
"Angry?"
"Wick was being so patronizing today. I couldn't stand it."
"Patronizing how?"
"He keeps acting like I'm made of glass. I'm just trying to get work done, and he keeps trying to protect me or whatever."
"That must be frustrating."
"It is. I mean, I have doubts already. I'm scared shitless about being a mom. I don't need him acting like I'm incapable too. I need him to believe in me; believe I can do this."
"Have you told him that?"
"Well… sort of. I guess, not really. I just get so pissed."
"You should try. He seems like a pretty good guy, Raven. I think if you ask him to listen, he'll try to do what you ask."
"I guess I'll try."
"Good, now let me take a look at your wrist."
"What? Why?"
"It's swollen."
Raven hissed as Abby picked up her wrist.
"Can you try to move it?"
Raven, did, and yelped in pain.
"Alright. I'm going to wrap this. It's a sprain."
"Damn it."
"What were you doing when this happened?" Abby asked, wrapping her hand with a stretchy bandage.
"Jumping out of an air vent."
"Hmm… Well, I don't want to patronize you, but you probably should take it a little easier. No heavy lifting with this hand for a couple of weeks, okay?"
Raven glared at Abby. "Fine."
"I'll get your meds and liquids."
Abby mixed together the concoction, then poured it into a bag and switched it out for the finished bag connected to the pump.
"How's your tube feeling?"
"My throat is kind of sore."
"Is it bearable?"
"Yeah, just a little annoying."
"Okay. Let me know if it gets worse. I'm hoping you can tolerate the nj tube for a couple of months, and then we'll have you feeling well enough that you don't need it."
The next morning when Raven went into the lab, Wick was waiting.
"Hey," she said quietly, sitting down on a stool.
"Hi Raven."
"I uh… I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. It's just… I'm so scared, Wick."
"It's going to be okay."
"Please, just listen," she said a bit loudly.
"Okay."
"I'm scared. And I have a right to be scared. We are struggling for survival, and now I have to raise this baby. As tough as I have been down here on the ground, I'm starting to lose my faith in myself. And every time you baby me, it feels like you're telling me that I can't do this."
Wick waited for her to continue, but she didn't.
"Can I say something?"
Raven nodded.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made you feel like you can't do this. You can. Hell, Raven, you're the strongest woman I know. You can do anything. I want to support you. I want you to be safe, but I don't think you're broken. I think you have more strength than you know; that can be dangerous. It can be scary to see you push yourself so hard and not even realize that you could get hurt. But I'm sorry. The last thing I want to do is make you feel broken or weak. So if you want me to, I'll leave you alone."
"Wick, that's exactly the opposite of what I want. I want you. I love you." She surprised herself with the words, but once she had said them, she knew they were true.
"Raven…" He was speechless.
"Oh. I fucked it all up, didn't I? You don't… You don't love me…"
"Of course I do!" he practically yelled, moving over and hugging her and kissing her lips. "I never thought you'd admit it, but I knew you loved me, and I love you, Raven. I love you so much."
Raven kissed Wick, trying not to cry as a sense of relief washed over her. When her mother had drunk herself to death, Raven had thought her heart would be cold forever. Then, when Finn had died, despite him cheating on her, she had truly thought she'd never feel anything again; she hadn't thought she'd ever feel happy. Now, somehow, she was. Sure, there was still fear and pain. But these paled in the light of the love she felt. She knew she was going to be okay.
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