Raven woke up at 1am, and bolted out of her tent, heaving.
"R-raven?" Came Octavia's voice.
She hiccuped. She couldn't lift her head yet, but waved a hand in Octavia's direction. Octavia put a hand on the woman's back. When Raven was done, she lifted her head, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.
"Why are you up? More nightmares?"
"I haven't slept in two days."
"Good lord, O."
"I can't. Everytime I close my eyes I…"
"Okay." She grabbed the girl's hand, and Octavia helped her up.
"Come to my tent."
"Raven, I'll be fine."
"Nope, you're sleeping in my bed."
Octavia allowed Raven to drag her back to her bed, tucking her under a blanket.
"You know, Wick said he loved me today," the mechanic said, hanging her backpack on a pole by her bed.
"He did?"
"Yeah. Actually, I said it first."
"Wow, Raven!"
"Yeah."
"Do you think you'll get married?"
"I don't know..."
"Wow."
"Yeah. How are you and Lincoln doing?"
"Okay."
"Just okay?"
"Yeah. Uh, he doesn't really understand me right now."
"Really? I feel like because he's been a warrior his whole life, he'd get it more than anyone."
"He gets the reasons I feel… how I feel. But he doesn't understand what I'm feeling."
"And… What are you feeling?"
"Alone."
Raven was nearly 4 months pregnant when her baby bump began to show. She couldn't stop staring at it every chance she got. Wick got a happy, goofy grin on his face every time he saw her, and sometimes he would sneak up behind her and kiss her neck, and wrap his hands around her and around her belly. As her life grew happy and full, she couldn't help but notice Octavia shriveling in on herself. The girl became more and more closed off, and Raven was worried.
Several times a week, Wick and Raven slept together. Most of what they did was truly just sleeping. Raven often had little energy by nighttime to do anything more than sleep. Occasionally, though, their nights were spent enjoying each other. On one such night, Raven and Wick were catching their breath, laying next to each other, when Wick looked over with a goofy grin on his face.
"What's that look, Wick?"
"I have a really good idea."
"Kyle, I don't think I can go for another round. I'm exhausted."
"No, not that. But that's a good idea too," he said cheekily, sliding his hand across her bare thigh as she smiled.
"I think it'd be a really good idea… for us to get married."
"Why?" Raven asked, untangling her NJ tube and tucking it behind her ear.
"Why what?"
"Why should we get married?"
"Well… We're having a baby."
"So?"
"So… I want to be involved in the baby's life."
"Yeah, I want you to too. But that doesn't mean we have to be married."
"Well… I love you."
"I love you too. But that doesn't mean we have to be married."
"Raven, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Y-you do?"
"Yeah. And getting married would be my promise to do that."
"I think we should talk more about it."
"Okay," Wick said, sounding slightly dejected.
"I'm not saying no. But I think we need to get to know each other better. I want you to really be sure. I don't want you to make promises you can't keep."
"Okay. We'll get to know each other. But I'm not giving up on my idea. I think you'd make a great wife."
She snorted at this. She'd be a terrible wife. But she couldn't help hoping that maybe once he knew everything about her, all her brokenness and flaws, he'd still love her.
They went to breakfast together that morning, and Raven managed a small piece of meat before getting up quickly and emptying her stomach near the fence. She still went to work, but there wasn't a lot to do that day. Every few weeks, there would be a lull in their work load, and those times tended to be when they fought the most. Neither enjoyed being idle, and this made them more irritable than usual.
Not anxious to get in a fight, Raven went off to find Octavia. She found her in one of the areas of the Arc most young people hung out. She was alone, drinking from a flask, which Raven snatched out of her hands.
"Hey!" she snapped, turning and seeing Raven. The older girl sniffed the bottle.
"Geez. It's gotta be a bad morning if you're drinking this at 9am."
"Come on, Raven. Give it back."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Oh yeah. I drown myself in alcohol when nothing's wrong too."
"I just feel so shitty all the time," Octavia mumbled, her voice breaking. "It feels like nothing's ever going to get better. I feel like I'm suffocating." Her hands began to shake.
"It's okay," Raven said, pulling her into a tight hug.
"No, it's not."
Raven sat with her for a long time. Neither of them spoke much. After an hour or two, Octavia gave a small shiver, her eyes unfocused.
"Octavia?"
She didn't respond.
"Hey, look at me," Raven said, shaking her.
The girl burst into tears.
"You're safe. Everyone's okay," Raven said softly, rubbing the girl's back.
"I'm so tired."
"Why don't you go back to your tent and take a nap?"
She nodded, getting up.
"But I'm taking this," Raven said, grabbing the flask.
"Why? It's not like you can drink?"
"O, I'm not going to let you drink yourself stupid like my mom did. You're not going to do that. Besides, you're sixteen. Your brain still has growing to do."
Raven felt guilty leaving Octavia in such a bad mood, but knew she needed to check in at the lab.
Thanks for reading. I would love a few more suggestions for this story. I know some of what I want to do, but some is still open for ideas.