A/N, I am unsure about how many lettters to include, but I guess we'll figure that out along the way won't we. Don't be too angry please if this won't be an epic 100K story, I plan on keeping it fairly simple. Still I hope you like it.

Lily girl,

You thought you were done with all paper surrounding the hospital now did you? You are wrong. I have a last letter for you, just to cheer you up after this madness that is dying and the shock that we are not infinite. You always said that I did not dare to do stuff.

But here I am.

And luckily for you, I am here to say that once again you're right (and we both know how much you enjoy being right, so I'm counting on improvement of your mood by this post-mortem, black on white, agreement with your accurate assessment of, well, me).

I know, I know, easy to say 'okay I dare, I also gotta go, bye now'. And you are probably scorning at me by doing it via written word but alas, you know I'd also rather would have done it in embodied person. Not use stating the obvious here.

Firstly: I love you Lills. My rocking, ethical, funny, badass, artist friend. You've been the best, and I am counting a little on that you know that by now. After all I did vehemently defend your honour by pretending Albert (please don't ever date an Albert again) had been kissing me instead of you behind the bike shed when Mrs. Milton caught sight of 'improper conduct during school hours'. Let me tell you, putting a hickey on my own upper arm (why Mrs. Milton believed that was a convincing spot for a hickey is still a wonder to me) was a weird experience. And we worked flawlessly as a team on our scientific research on 'the best Chinese takeout within a radius of 10 blocks of your apartment' (please order an extra portion of Kung Pao Chicken next time. I'm gonna miss that one!). You got my back and I got yours.

Secondly, I also love you because you never tried to be anything but yourself. Always down to earth (except when it comes to pretty bags ;), don't you think I don't know your weak spot miss I-casually-asked-once-every-month-if-Andy-had-got-some-new-goodies-that-she-might-not-needed). You see, you might have been the one that called me whenever you got in trouble (remember your one-night-stand-with-jail after protesting against Bush invading Irak) but when it came to giving rightful pieces of advice I needed your help way more. "'That is not the Andy I know" couldn't have been more truthful words on several occasions.

So here's the truth that took a little longer for me to find out about myself:

I am kind of in love with Miranda.

Minus the kind of.

(please don't spit out the drink you were having).

(please don't yell a fake what?!)

(please don't look at me with a glance of I knew it!).

I know you tried to approach the topic subtly on several occasions, but dropped it when I got diagnosed. But yes, you were right in your hunch even though you never spoke your thoughts aloud. And strangely I don't know why I ever had such trouble admitting it, but that might be because I was under the impression that I could be banned from NY working life by even uttering it out loud. Worries that just poofed out of the window now that I never need to work anymore ;). Which is a weak excuse, yes, you are right about that too. I am glad your smug face is still there.

I will miss you Lills, but I am beyond sure that you will have a terrific career and a great great great earthly life. Go on be awesome, with your talent of calling people out on their shit I know you will make it. And when you're in trouble, I will try my best to use my spiritual powers to get you out of it. See, the fact that I will not be physically there anymore will not put a halt to our friendship.

Nothing ever will,

Andy.

Lilly laughed, cried, looked smug, laughed some more, cried some more and mumbled 'I knew it', without defining whether she was talking about the letter or the fact that Andy had survived. She folded the letter and planned to hug her bestie and rub it in a little next time she saw Andy. Now that Andy was still there she needed to make sure she was calling Andy on her shit as much as possible, because truth be told she needed Andy's help already after the tiny accident she got in with the hospital after they had told her that 'pushpins all over the wall' were considered 'damaging hospital property'.