"... And then Tiffany threw up all over the stage and didn't attend classes for several days." Pearl finishes her story.
"Wow... I understand why Steven didn't want involved." Lapis says in astonishment. "That sounds horrible."
"Yes. But it all could've been avoided. If Amethyst would've just waited where she was supposed to and..." Pearl continues her explanation but Lapis's mind begins to wander.
"Ugh... I just wanted to know why Steven didn't want to help. Now Pearl's going on this long winded explanation. Probably about why the plan failed and how her plan would've worked." Lapis's train of thought has left the station. "It just goes on and on and on without stopping. She takes a conversation and makes it a lecture. This is why I prefer Amethyst's company. She says something. Then I say something. Its a conversation. This is a lecture. Is she still talking? Yes she's still talking. Though I can see why Pearl and Peridot get along. One brings up a fancy science term and the other instantly knows what the other is getting at. They mesh well, but that's probably also why they have that whole rivalry thing going on with the robots and the one-upping. But it is fun watching them compete. Its like nothing else matters but crushing the other. Amethyst's commentary also makes it better... Wait... Am I forgetting something?... PERIDOT!"
Lapis remembers that she's supposed to meet up with Peridot for the next stage in their campaign planning.
"... And Hydrogen, while much more dangerous than Helium, would've been a much better choice for the-" Pearl continues on before Lapis cuts her off.
"I'm sorry!" Lapis blurts out apologetically. "I completely forgot that I have to meet up with Peridot for campaign things!"
"Oh. Alright." Pearl says with a sincere smile. "You should probably go then. You know how she gets when she's left waiting."
"Right." Lapis says as she summons her water wings. "It was a nice talk!"
Lapis waves goodbye and flies off. Pearl stands there for a moment before she begins walking back to the temple. "Hmm..." She says as she rubs her chin. "... Calendar pictures..."
When Lapis lands on the beach as the sun begins to set, Peridot is waiting for her, with something hidden under a sheet.
"Sure took your time, Lazuli!" Peridot says with a not so subtle hint of frustration.
"Sorry." Lapis says as she rubs the back of her head. "The office was... Confusing... Human legal procedures are... inefficient?" Lapis is not about to tell Peridot that she wasted several hours talking with Dewey's new campaign manager. "Hm... I wonder if Peridot even knows that Pearl is involved?" Lapis thinks.
"Hm. Fair enough." Peridot says with a dismissive sigh. "I'm sure that's something we can fix once you become mayor."
Peridot walks back towards the object hidden under the sheet, and Lapis's attention switches entirely to the mysterious thing in front of her.
"Peri?" Lapis asks. "What's under the blanket?"
"I'm glad you asked!" Peridot said with a wide grin as she pulls the blanket away. "Ta-da!" Standing there was Onion.
"What is that!?" Lapis asks in surprise as she points at Onion.
"Its a human youngling!" Peridot says full of self-satisfaction.
"You stole a child!?" Lapis screams. "ARE YOU CRACKED!?"
"I didn't steal it!" Peridot yells back. "I found it!"
"Where!? A hospital!? The back of a car!? DID YOU BREAK INTO A HOUSE TOO!?" Lapis is just utterly flabbergasted at Peridot's decision. Sure Peridot has been known to miss small details like 'making sure the drill is off before rewiring it'... But a picking up a random child?
"HEY!" Peridot yells. "I did no such thing! I can promise you that the child was found on the boardwalk and was not acquired by any illegal means!"
Lapis facepalms and groans. "Peridot... You just can't take what you want if its just lying around... What are you even going to do with a child?"
"Its the next part of your campaign training!" Peridot says with confidence as she holds Onion up to Lapis's face. "Candidates show that they are compassionate and relatable beings by showing affection and compassion towards the defenseless offspring!"
"And how am I supposed to do that?" Lapis asks.
"Kiss it." Peridot says bluntly with a wide grin.
Lapis recoils back in astonishment. "WHAT!?" She yells.
"You heard me, Lazuli!" Peridot says. "You have to kiss every pebble that gets shoved in your face."
Lapis looks at Onion. Onion looks back at Lapis and winks. Lapis shudders. She looks away and then back at Onion. Onion opens his mouth and sprays breath freshener into his it. He then smiles and give Lapis a creepy come hither look.
"NO!" Lapis says as she defiantly stomps her foot down on the beach, the tide rises.
"What!?" Peridot yells. She sets Onion down and gets in Lapis's face. "You have to do it!"
"No I don't!" Lapis retorts.
"Yes you do! Its part of the process! And its not that hard!" Peridot yells in frustration. "Even Paulette can do it!"
"I don't care! I'm not going to kiss a random strange... Thing!" Lapis screams. Onion glares.
"Why not!?" Peridot screams. "Its just a human ritual of smashing faces together!"
"THERE'S MORE TO A KISS THAN THAT!" Lapis yells.
"NO THERE ISN'T!" Peridot screams.
The argument continues getting louder and faster to the point where both Lapis and Peridot are screaming loudly and inaudibly at each other simultaneously, both of them flailing their arms around and stomping their feet. Over the course of the argument, a wave grows larger and larger in the ocean behind Peridot. Lapis, Peridot, and Onion do not notice.
All of a sudden, Peridot grabs Lapis by the neck of her new shirt and pulls her down into a full on lip lock. Everything goes silent, and Lapis begins to blush. The wave crashes behind them and water dramatically goes everywhere, catching the light from the setting sun and causing seagulls to spread their wings and fly away in shock. Lapis Lazuli gets engulfed in the moment, having no clear thought nor clear idea of how much time passes before Peridot breaks the kiss and Lapis stumbles back and falls onto her butt, her face as flushed as possible and eyes bugged out in disbelief.
"See! That wasn't so hard!" Peridot says with a smile, and the tone that she's just won an argument.
"C-Clod!" Lapis screams. She turns away from Peridot and hastily flies towards the temple.
Long seconds go by as Peridot stands there in shock, looking blankly at where Peridot once stood. Something about what just happened felt off to her. She then looks down at Onion as if expecting an answer. Onion stares back up at her and gives her a silent thumbs up.
((Well that sure was unexpected... I mean Lapis calling Peridot a clod? That's her catchphrase Lapis! Yours is *fart noise*... But yeah. Kissing babies is one of the staple cliches of running for office. It would only make sense that they'd get to it eventually. And Onion felt perfect for the role... He's like this generation's Mr Popo... Unsettling, but still fun.))