Evenmoor: Haha! Thanks for that one! And I hope your interest continues; this has been in my head for a long time, and it's good to know somebody knows it exists.
*Cue "In the Hall of the Mountain King" dubstep remix*
25 Years Later...
It was long past Odo's curfew on Deep Space Nine. Two figures crab-walked across the hallway. They poked their heads around the corner, searching for witnesses. Confirming that they were, indeed, alone, they nodded to each other, and lifted their weapons into view.
"Lets do this." they said simultaneously, holding up the buckets and ropes.
The twins set to work, taking turns looking out for guards and using the replicators expertly to fill the buckets. Once the trap was set, Danny took the drone out of his backpack, and pulled a black mask over his head...which was quite redundant, as his shirt was eye-assaultingly orange. He turned to his brother.
"You ready for this, dude?" he asked. The other man pulled a mask over his own head...which was also redundant, for the same reasons.
"Dude, you know I am." he replied, holding up his two cans of whip cream. There were four more in a holster around his waist. Danny had a similar one, though his weapon of choice was a combination of aerosole-can cheese and silly string."Do it."
Danny set the drone down, and took a device out of his backpack, as Rickey took two flat, football-sized pieced of metal out of his own pack. He pressed a button on the side of either one, and they bock extended into identical hover boards, his being painted a horrific pink on the bottom.
Danny tapped the device, and at once, an old earth song blared on at top volume throughout the station. Not many people would know the name of it, but as I'm already shattering the fourth wall, I'll tell you that you would recognize it as a heavy metal dubstep version of the Troll Song.
All around the station, shocked residents were jumping out of their beds, and the night crews were jumping out of their skins. Danny turned on the drone, setting it to follow the remote, and both twins jumped on their hover boards.
"I love our jobs." Rickey said as they took off, the magnetic clamps on their boards syncing with the mag patches on their shoes. They sped out of the Security Station as fast as the boards could go. Any moment now, Odo and his deputies would burst in there, expecting attack and ready to gear up, and they would instead get the soaking of a lifetime.
Danny and Rickey both shook their aerosol cans, and began to spray the walls as they sped down the hallway. Slipper-toed, pajama-clad residents who were leaving their quarters leapt back, yelling, screaming, and shouting profanities at the twins as the streams of silly string, cheese, and whip cream wrecked their beautiful havoc.
"Wotcher, Garry!" they both shouted, Rickey hitting the weird, cardassian tailor their cousin was friends with with a cheese grenade(a marvelous weapon of their own invention). They didn't get to see the shocked look on his face as cheese exploded in the hallway, splattering yellow gooey-ness all over the place.
"DEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH!" Both twins screeched at the top of their lungs.
It could easily be said that they were the most immature 28-and-a-half-year-olds in the galaxy...possibly the universe.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEE AYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" they screamed as they zoomed out into the promenade, the drone trailing after them.
The music switched off to he Nyan Cat theme(which was still going strong, after over three centuries), and the men tossed the empty aerosol cans over their shoulders, and took their backups out of their holsters. Wrecking havok fresh and new on the crownd that was spilling out onto the promanade, they let loose every cheese bomb they had made, cackling like madmen.
"Why do you two do this to me?!" cried a familiar voice. "Why!"
Danny nodded to Rickey as he spotted their cousin up on the second floor, his black hair even messier than usual, and looking fairly out of place in his pajamas instead of his uniform. They did a loop around the bridge, and did a fly-by, Danny throwing a cheese bomb at him.
"AGGGGGGGGHHH!" came the satisfactory yell. Danny fist-bumped his brother as they emptied the last of their cans into the streets below.
"And for our next trick!" they declared as one, both of them taking their last cheese bombs. They zoomed in closer to the ground, and both men gave their respective bombs a kiss before hurtling them in through the first and second floor doors of Quark's bar.
"VIIIIIIICTOOOOOOORRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" They screamed triumphantly as the devices went off, spattering cheese all over the inside of Quark's property(serves him right for breaking the curfew).
They zoomed off, looped back around, and entered Quark's place of business from the second floor. They turned a corner, snickering and laughing their butts off, before Odo(who was thoroughly soaked, shivering, and dripping icy water all over the place) burst in about a minute later, only to find that there were no twins to be found; nothing at all to be found, in fact. He stormed out of the bar, fuming.
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
It was three hours before the mess got cleaned up, and even after that, the whole station seemed to have the lingering scent of cheese flowing through it. Everyone that had been covered in the goo had long since washed up and changed clothes, and they went about their daily business projecting stubborn dignity, with just a hint of embarrassment to it.
Julian Bashir was a tall man, though not the tallest. It had been some time since he last got his hair cut, so at this point, it was short enough that it didn't get in his eyes any, but long enough that it now stuck out everywhere no matter what he did to it. Now, make no mistake; he had long considered getting his hair cut again, but there was a young woman(whom he had yet to gather the courage to ask out), whom he liked very much, who found his "raggedy" look very attractive. When he spoke, it was with a fading accent unique to the peoples of Great Britain. He had stormy, grey-green eyes, and he was quite skinny. Well, skinnier than usual.
This wasn't to say he didn't eat properly; one of his friends insisted that he ate too much too fast. He was a very hyper-active man, so he usually burned most of his calories off as fast as he took them in. But this wasn't why he was skinnier than usual. He was skinnier than usual because it had only been two weeks since his liberation, and three days since the biggest secret of his life had come out.
Two weeks since his escape from a Dominion prison camp, where the food was so bad(in a health sense as well as taste), most ate as little as possible. Some braved the stomach cramps, the feverish nights. Some pushed through the exhaustion, the near-constant dehydration. Those people had lasted years. But they had looked like skeletons by the end of it. He had spent a week recovering from his own one-month experience.
And then, three days ago, his secret had come out, announced to the whole galaxy by Starfleet. He had been back on the job for only a day when he had been approached by the opportunity of a lifetime. In just forty-eight hours, his secret had been revealed, and reported. The stress of the last three days had taken it's tole on him health-wise, thus resulting in his current state of looking underfed.
And the fact that his cousins were visiting didn't help matters.
Rickey and Danny were roughly five years younger than him, and they had grown up with him for roughly half their lives. Their father, and his uncle, had died in a shuttle crash when the twins were only two. He had been in the crash as well, but he couldn't remember it that well. All he could remember was that his uncle had had "something very special" to show him, and then the long, painful days in the hospital that had followed, and the long, painful months of muscular rehab that has followed that.
As a result of his uncle's death, Julian had seen a lot of his cousins. His aunt would bring them over often, and sometime leaving them at their house in London for days at a time. He had, at first, enjoyed his "big brother" role; but then, the twins turned five, and they finally understood the concepts of these "pranks" their older cousin kept telling them about. After that, Julian had begun to dread his cousin's visits.
All the destroyed art assignments, all the trashed science projects; all the shredded homework, all the messes in the bathroom from plastic wrap pranks.
All the ruined dates, because his cousins had snuck up the top of the wall they were snogging behind and dumped spaghetti sauce in Margaret Wilson's hair.
And now, his cousins had ruined his station. There was no doubt in his mind that it was Rickey and Danny who had been zooming around this morning. Cheese was their trademark when it came to pranking; the last time they had come to Deep Space 9, they had left a chunk of blue cheese sitting in the station's ventilation matrix.
That was three years ago, and Chief O'Brian was still getting complaints.
This time, the twins were hear on business; or so they claimed to be. An expedition into the Gamma Quadrant had returned with several artifacts, one of which happened to fall under his cousin's range of expertise. The expedition had been charting a planet for possible resources, when, according to the report he had read, one of the scouts had fallen into a system of caves. He hadn't much of the report, but apparently the artifact his cousins were here for had been found in those caves.
Of course, right now, as he stood, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, he didn't care about what his cousins were here for.
"You know, you can't be sure it was them." Dax said. They were just outside the Infirmary, where a patch of cheese was still being wiped up.
"I know it was them, Dax. It had to be. This is their M.O.; do something extreme, and then disappear without a trace." he told her angrily. He never got how they did it, but it was true; every time the twins did something like this(allegedly), they were nowhere to be found once they were seemingly cornered.
"If you're so sure it was them, why don't you tell Odo?" the Trill sighed, sticking her spoon in her pudding cup.
"Because like I said; they disappear without a trace. There's never any solid evidence against them. And you've got a bit of chocolate; just there." he pointed out, pointing to the tip of his nose. She wiped it off on her sleeve, resulting in a large streak of chocolate pudding being smeared all over it.
"I do hope you don't plan on asking me to get that off." Garak commented as he came up to them."I've got my hands full enough as it is."
"I'd imagine so." Julian said."Sorry, by the way. My cousins can get a bit...rowdy."
The Cardassian snorted, and Dax rolled her eyes.
"'Rowdy'? They got cheese in places I didn't know this station had." she exclaimed."If it was them, anyway."
"It was definitely them. Trust me; I put with these kinds of things for most of my childhood." Julian insisted.
"What makes you so certain it was your relatives who did this, Doctor?" Garak inquired, one eyebrow raised.
"Garak, they ruined my first date by pouring super glue into Amy Parkins' shoes. Bombing the station with cheese wouldn't even make them break a sweat."
Dax tapped his arm, nodding to his left. "Speak of the devils."
The two men looked absolutely tired, or were trying to appear that way. Rickey and Danny were both taller than Julian by about a head, were much more muscular, had bright blue eyes(which Julian was certain they had been green during their youth), and both sported sandy brown hair that was cut in military fashion. The two had a deep respect for the military(contrary to their behavior), but were, as they put it, "too much in love to make such a devotion."
Exactly who or what they were in love with was a total mystery.
"Hey guys." Rickey yawned. His brother walked alongside him sleepily. "What was all that commotion about this morning? And why does everything smell like cheese?"
"You know perfectly well what." Julian snapped, glaring at them. "You think I didn't know it was you two this morning?"
"Well, you certainly seem to think it was us you saw this morning." Danny(or was it Rickey?) shrugged, grinning at his cousin. "Goodness knows why; Ri and I were up allllll night reading the notes the ever-exquisite Jedzia sent us last night."
"Codswhallop." Julian said as Dax rolled her eyes. "I've known you since you were born; a mask isn't going to hide your identity, or your style for that matter."
"Why, cousin dearest!" the twins clutched at their hearts, looking horrifically offended but obviously not. "We are OFFENDED that you would think any lowly trouble makers to be us! I can't Imagine what would cause you to think such of us!"
"You're the only criminals who would wear eye-burning T-shirts while committing the crime."
"Hmmmm."
"He has a point."
"We would wear eye-burning T-shirts for criminal activity."
"Yeah, just like in second grade."
"Ahhhh, second grade."
"Beautiful times."
"We could get away with anything."
"Everybody trusted faces like ours."
"But alas, age hath made us ugly-"
"-And therefore, made our past cuteness redundant."
"I can see why you think it was them." Garak commented, looking somewhere between curios and wanting to leave as quickly as possible.
"Well, that's because he's the only one you hang out with, Gerald." Ricky said. "Don't be lonely, though; have a kumquat."
He threw several bright orange fruits into the air. "KUMQUATS FOR EVERYBODY!"
"The magical fruit!" Danny sang, pirouetting away with his brother, throwing more kumquats everywhere.
The three "normal people" looked on, jaws hitting the floor, mixed looks of confusion and "I need a vacation" on their faces.
"Yup...that's my cousins."
Okay, this chapter is basically me getting this stuff out of my system before I do it for real. Not the hover board thing; the kumquats thing. Basically, the cheese bomb sequence and the random occurrence of kumquats was a bit of an April Fools vent. Why am I posting this before April Fools, then?
Because one does not simply trust an update that comes on April the first. That, and I figured you guys had waited long enough. And by "you guys", I mean the like, twenty people who have actually noticed this thing in the corner of the interweb. I never thought I'd be like Amberstar; having a fic that's in an obscure crossover section always pining for viewers who never come.
That lonely puppy in the back of the glass tank, watching as everybody takes it's littermates but not itself. Or, in this case, the dusty fanfict that gets passed over because it's the only one of it's category.
Anyway, don't expect the next update for too much of a while; I've discover the joys and sorrow of a game called Destiny recently, and an idea for a fanfic has raged through me like a wildfire. It's a comedy fic called Fever, if anyone is interested in the slapstick adventures of a Hunter who wears a fedora, with bit of dark side to it as well.
My favorite part so far? making Prince Uldren suffer through her antics. He's such a jerk in the game, I'm going to make him pay. He's already lost his hair; I might go for the eyebrows next, his sanity is already too far gone...
Next time: We see this artifact that the twins are here for. Of course, what else can it be, other than the obvious...
Read and REVIEW! That REVIEW challenge from last chapter doesn't necessarily apply to that chapter alone, but if you want something new:
Type in what you would say if you were about to blow something up with a bazooka or/and machine gun.
Cheers!^^