The next Tuesday was Thanks giving and Franklin had somewhat reluctantly agreed to dinner at the White House. She hadnt even been able to speak to Fitz to confirm with him because he had been so busy, she had to confirm with Cyrus, who was looking forward to it.
When Tuesday came around, it went quickly and before they knew it they were getting ready to go. Olivia found herself to be extremely nervous, her gut said something was up. When they made it up to the residence Oliva's gut proved right. Jake and Lilly were there. It appeared they had just arrived because Jake was shaking Fitz' hand.
Lilly noticed Franklin which drew Jake's attention to Olivia. He turned around beaming. He walked up to her and planted a kiss on her lips. When Jake broke away he kept one hand on her back as she greeted Fitz.
Fitz was first shocked by Jake's boldness, and then pissed off. Olivia could see all this as she approached him, but knew that he was hiding it well. He put a hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek.
"Good to see you." He said.
"You too." She responded. Then Olivia introduced Jake to Cyrus and James. Just then Mellie came in .
"I believe dinner is served." She said, before she greeted everyone.
"Jake, it is so good to see you. It really has been too long. I was so sorry to hear about your wife." She said hugging him.
"Thank you Mellie. Yes, it has been too long."
"And your daughter looks just like her."
"Yes, she is beautiful." Jake said with a smile.
They all walked towards the dining room. Mellie sat at one end, with Teddy to her left, Jake next to Teddy, Olivia next to Jake, Cyrus next to Olivia with Fitz at the other end of the table with Ella to his left, then James, Franklin, Lilly then Andrew back next to Mellie.
Fitz had invited Jake as a last minitue thing, trying to be the bigger man, also knowing that Jake and Lilly probably wouldn't have plans. They had only just sat down and Fitz was regretting his decision already. Jake stuck close by Olivia and she didn't seem to mind at all. He had seen men fawn over Olivia but she had almost always shown a distain towards their actions, but he saw no evidence of that tonight. And honestly, their interaction put a foul taste in his mouth.
The food came out and Mellie led the prayer. They all held hands, Jake took Olivia's most happily and only put their joined hands under the table once the prayer was over, without releasing untill the food was passed to them.
Everyone made pleasant conversation, however Fitz was visibly in a bad mood. When Olivia would catch him looking at her/them at first she let it go, feeling slightly guilty. But as the night went on she found herself scowling at him in return. What right did he have to look at her like that.
Throughout the meal Mellie became aware of Fitz worsening mood at the interaction between Olivia and Jake which appeared to Mellie to be quite intimate. He had not said anything to her about them, but that didn't mean anything.
After desert was finished Mellie suggested they all head down to the bowling alley in the basement, which may not have been the best idea because Fitz and Jake were notoriously competitive, and now Fitz unilaterally felt he had something to prove. Cyrus and James took Ella home. Olivia, Mellie and Lilly were playing one ally, the boys the other. The girls were just having some fun, not taking it to seriously. The same could not be said for the boys. Mellie courteyesly clapped them all between bowls, Andrew probably with a little more conviction. Lilly was obviously rooting for her dad, as well as Franklin.
Olivia started to feel extremely uncomfortable by the macho display. It was bowling, and yet they both felt it symbolised their masculinity. She found herself rolling her eyes and averting her gaze from them as they would both look to her when they had done a good bowl, looking for her affection, or her approval. Once the girls finished their game Olivia excused herself to go to the bathroom and to get a drink. She wished she had her swimmers so she could for a swim in the room next door which she knew to be the pool room.
She went to the bathroom first and stood in front of the mirror delaying going back when the door opened. It was Mellie. She entered and leant against the wall.
"So you and Jake huh?" she asked casually.
"We have been on one date, but because he is Lilly's dad, I have gotten to know him pretty well." Mellie nodded.
"That explains a lot." She said. When she saw Olivia's expression she explained.
"Fitz hasn't seen Jake in like 15 years, we sent a card when we heard his wife died, but that's it. He would have known he was back at the Pentagon before now and could easily have reached out to him. But he hasn't. So I assume he thought he could invite the two of you and try to be the bigger person and let you go." She shrugged.
Olivia nodded, knowing she was right.
"Look, he loves you, and right now he is putting on a show, but I think he wants you to be happy. If that isnt with him, that is something he is going to have to live with."
Olivia looked at Mellie a little shocked. "We arent whatever we were, but he is letting me be happy, with Andrew, so I can only imagine he wants the same for you. It is just a little harder for him with you." Olivia audibly exhaled and nodded.
Mellie exited the bathroom. While she accepted what Mellie said, it didn't make her feel better, if anything it made her feel worse. Yes, Fitz would want her to be happy, but she knew what it was like to try and let him go so that he could be president, and if that is what he was feeling she felt terrible. She wiped a lone tear that had escaped and left the bathroom, headed for the bar where a secret service agent was manned. She asked for a tall glass of wine and drank most of it in one gulp. She asked for another and quickly drank most of that before returning for the guys second game.
Franklin decided not to play a second game and he and Lilly went to play snooker. Olivia continued to drink her wine more quickly than recommended. She got up to get another. Fitz had just bowled and saw her heading for the bar and followed her.
Olivia leaned against the bar when she was close enough and asked for another, her third large glass on top of the three smaller ones she had with dinner. The agent reluctantly gave it to her before Fitz came up next to her.
"That's enough." He said to Olivia sternly. "Thank you Steve, but from now on Olivia only gets water, soft drink or juice." He said, trying to eliminate the emotion from his voice.
"You don't control me." Olivia said once she had taken a sip.
"Clearly." He mumbled, asking for his own glass of scotch. Olivia swayed slightly which didn't go unnoticed by Fitz but he said nothing. She moved off the bar over towards Franklin and slightly stumbled on a lip in the carpet. Franklin was close by and stabalised her. Franklin looked at he glass, which had now half spilt, then up at the bar. He saw Fitz' concerned face looking back.
"Liv. Im getting a bit tired, do you think we could go home?" He asked. He wasn't really tired, he could just tell that she had had a little too much to drink. When the boys finished their game they made their way back upstairs to gather their coats and bags. Jake walked with Liv all the way back with his hand on her back. Fitz and Mellie then walked them to where their cars were.
"Olivia and Franklin, I have arranged a car to take you two home." He said still trying to get a hold of his emotions. Olivia couldn't believe him.
"That wont be necessary Mr Presdient. Jake can take us home right?" Olivia said turning to Jake.
"Of course." He nodded.
"Great" she said turning towards Jake's car before turning back. She hugged Mellie. "Thank you for the invitation, we had a great night." She then turned to Fitz and stuck her hand out. He rolled his eyes at her before taking it.
"Good night Olivia."
The goodbyes continued before they all piled into Jake's car. The drive to Olivia's house was short, but sobering. Olivia thought back to her behaviour and wanted to crawl up in a ball, but before they knew it they were pulling up to he apartment.
"Dad and Liv. Could I stay here tonight?" Lilly asked. They had not done many sleep overs, so she didn't know what they would say.
"If Olivia says it is ok, it is ok with me." Jake said looking at Olivia, even though he had been for most of the drive.
"Ah, sure." Olivia answered.
They all got out of the car and headed up the lift. She let Franklin and Lilly inside before she turned to Jake.
"Thanks for the lift Jake."
"Can I come in. For a nightcap." He asked.
"I don't think that is a great idea Jake." She said looking at the floor. Jake was undetered.
"Ok then. I'll talk to you later?" he asked and she nodded. Then he kissed her lips gently. She waitied till he dissapeared in the lift before going inside. She walked straight to her room, got changed and fell into bed. The wine still affected her so she fell asleep after a couple of minutes of the room spinning.
She was woken, what felt like a few hours later, by Franklin. He was standing next to her bed in a pair of boxers with a look on his face that sobered Olivia almost immediately.
"What is it." She asked. Franlin didn't speak straight away. "Fanklin?" she coaxed.
"We did it Liv and we think it broke." He said shyly. It didn't click at first, but when it did she jumped out of bed. "And Lilly is freaking out." As he said it, Olivia could tell he was freaking out a little too. She rubbed his back gently.
"It will be ok. Where is she?" she asked.
"In the loungeroom." He responded. Olivia quickly walked to the loungeroom. She saw Lilly curled up, her knees against her chest held by her arms, she was crying and breathing heavily whilst rocking. Pretty much a full blown panic attack. Olivia sat next to her and started rubbing her back. When that didn't do anything Olivia pulled Lilly over to lean against her chest. Lilly reached her arms around Olivia and clutched at her, still rocking slightly. She rubbed her back in circles and ran her hand through her blonde locks.
Olivia held Lilly until her panic attack seemed to pass. Lilly sat up and her face was puffy.
"Ok, so what happened?" She asked Franklin, not wanting to set Lilly off again potentially. His face flushed with embarrassment.
"We think the condom broke." He said finding his words.
"Why do you think it broke?" she asked trying to understand while they all spoke in round about terms.
"There was stuff." Lilly said.
"Did you…finish." She asked Franklin. He nodded.
"Where did you put it?" she asked.
"In the bin in my room." He answered quickly.
"Ok, you need to go and get it. Gently squeeze the end and see if it is leaking. Ok." And he ran out of the room. When he returned he looked slightly releived.
"It didn't leak."
"Ok." She thought. "Is this the first time you two have had sex?" she asked. They both nodded.
"We have done…other…stuff." Franklin said. Olivia cleared her throat.
" Ok, well, sometimes when women orgasm their fluid can have a similar texture and appearance to semen, especially when there is" she paused breifly "penetration." She emoted with her hands.
Lilly burried her face in her hands, embarrassed at her, apparently unnecessary response.
"If you guys are going to continue a physical relationship, you might want to consider visitng a doctor about additional contraceptive options." Lilly looked at her a little confused. Olivia realised that she probably had no-one to talk to about those things.
"Franklin, can you make us some tea." She asked kindly and he quickly moved to be helpful.
"Lilly, I said this to Franklin, but I think it is very important that you have someone to talk to about things like this, about sex. I understand that you might not want to talk to your Dad, I definitely wouldn't have talked to my Dad, but you should talk to someone. I know what it is like to go through all this without a mum, so if you have questions I'm here ok."
Lilly nodded "Thank you."
Franklin called from the kitchen, asking what everyone would like. He brought the tea out and they drank quietly. When Olivia had finished she stood up.
"I think we could all use some sleep don't you think. I'll see you in the morning ok." She squeezed Lilly's arm and kissed Franklin's head.
When Olivia's head hit the pillow she had to hide the urge to laugh. She never imagined she would be in that kind of position, explaining to teenagers some of the mechanics of sex. She knew she handled it well though and she was proud of herself. Fitz would have been proud too.
Fitz.
She wanted to tell him what just happened, what she had to handle. Her face dropped. She rolled over and eventually fell into a restless sleep.
When she awoke the next morning the two of them were sitting on the couch watching tv.
"Morning." She mumbled heading for the kitchen. "Hot drink anyone?" she asked. They all had a tea. She sat down on the single seater.
"Liv, Lilly has something she would like to ask you." He prompted. Lilly smiled weakly before speaking.
"I heard what you said last night, about other options, I was wondering if you might help me arrange an appointment. I…I don't really know where to start."
"Of course. How about I make you an appointment with my gynaecologist?"
"That would be great. And thank you for last night."
Just then Olivia got a text from Jake. Lunch? She rolled her eyes and made some excuse.
One week later and Olivia hadnt spoken to Jake or Fitz and it was making her a little crazy. She was tempted to call Fitz but didn't know if he would answer, and she knew Jake would answer, but would that really fix anythign she wondered.
She was on her computer checking her emails when a pop up add came up on the side. It was a travel add for Australia. Olivia stared out the window and let her mind drift from the cold window to a warm beach. She checked the time and went to pick up Franklin. He hopped in the car.
"Do you want to go to Australia for Christmas?" she asked, being the first thing she said to him.
"Ummmm. That's random." He said trying to get his head around what she said.
"We went to France last year, thought we could make a habit of it. And I know we havnt got you any languange lessons, so I thought we could go somewhere they speak English and where we can get tans." She joked.
"Oh, well if you are being serious, Australia would be fun."
"Alright then, we are going to Australia."
Olivia wasn't joking and when they got back to the apartment Olivia booked the tickets.
"So we leave two days before christmas, arrive christmas eve, and then leave the Friday after new years."
XXXX
She was feeling good that night so she took a chance and rang Fitz' number.
"Hello." He answered.
"Hi."
"Hi." He said back to her.
"How are you?"
"Fine." He responded shortly.
"Are you mad at me?"
"Why would I be angry at your for being in a relationship with Jake? Why would I be angry at you for flirting with him at thanksgiving when I invited him." He said. Olivia had trouble guaging his tone.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"Liv, Im not mad at you. I'm mad at me. I want you to be happy, and Jake is a good guy. It is just harder than I expected."
"Im sorry." She said.
"Don't be sorry, it is nothing to do with you."
"I don't think that will go any further anyway."
"Why not?" he asked, slightly concerned, thinking that he was the reason.
Olivia moved into her bedroom and closed the door.
"I had to handle a situation."
"What do you mean?"
"Franklin and Lilly had sex, and they thought the condom broke, but it was just her and I had to explain it and it was so awkward." She said in one hushed breath. He laughed, loudly.
"Fitz, it was mortifying."
"Oh, I can imagine."
"And Lilly had a full on panic attack cause she thought she was pregnant, so I suggested she perhaps use other contraceptive methods, and then she asked me to help her find a gynaecologist. I just…I think that Jake and I having a relationship would be a conflict of interest and, I think it is more important to have their trust and for them to feel comfortable coming to me, rather than worrying it will get back to Jake."
"Wow."
"What do you think. Would you expect me to tell you if I knew Karen was having sex?" She didn't think about what she said until after she said it. Did he know Karen was having sex. She gasped and covered her mouth.
"Liv. Karen is almost 20, and has been in a stable relationship for 4 years, I hate to think that she is, but I know that she is already sexually active. At first it was hard not to punch Andre everytime I saw him, but I know that he is good for her."
"So you think I should tell Jake then?" she asked nervously.
"I don't know."
"Fitz." She groaned in frustration.
"What?" he asked slightly offended by her tone, but also confused by what she wanted.
"I want your opinion, your honest opinion." She paused. "Which is what makes this so much harder." She said partly to herself. She was silent before she realised that he probably expected her to go on. "You said I was your best friend." She said referring to what he said to her in France.
"You are." He confirmed.
"Well your mine too. So the first thing I wanted to do after my date with Jake was call you, and I have wanted to ask you about this for a week, but I couldn't because I didn't want to upset you."
"I'm sorry."
"Even when you hurt me, even when I hate you, you're the one I want to talk to. Don't appologise. I can't fix it, you can't fix it. It is just how it is." Fitz listened and waited before he responded.
"I love you too." He said honsetly. He knew that was as close as Olivia came to saying I love you, withou actually saying it. She was silent before she remembered why she called.
"Anyway, that isnt why I called. Franklin and I are going to Australia for the holiday and I know you have been so I thought you might have some suggestions or recommendations.
"Well Sydney obviously has the Opera House and the Harbor Bridge. Canberra is their equivalent of D.C. so if you want a educational holiday that is the place to be. Melbourne is pretty quirky and Surfers Paradise has good beaches. Depends what your looking for. Is it just you and Franklin?"
"Yeah."
XXXX
Olivia avoided Jake like the plague in the lead up to Christmas and their trip to Australia. Jake invited them over for dinner just before they left but Olivia made some excuse and sent Franklin with her gifts for Lilly and Jake. And when it was time to pick Franklin up, she sent Stephen. Jake had send back a nice bottle of wine as her present. She felt bad for avoiding him, but didn't know how to address the situation.
Olivia and Franklin had an amazing trip to Australia. They did all the touristy things in Sydney like walk the harbour bridge and go up centre point tower and take surfing lessons at Bondi beach, but then they spent the middle 5 days in Canberra. Having become quite the American historian, Franklin loved comparing the histories of the two countries and admiring their democracy. Olivia too found it facinating. Australia was not somewhere she had been before, mostly due to its distance, but the relaxed culture was exactly what she needed.
She was fighting with her emotions about Jake and Fitz though. She had felt more and more guilty about her avoidance of Jake as the days went by, but now felt she was at an impasse. It wasn't a short amount of time that she could simply put down to work, which meant she would have to explain herself, a prospect that turely frightened her.
However upon their return she still made no attempt to contact him. She had been busy with work, but knew she needed to address it.
XXXX
The next time Olivia saw Jake was at Teddy's birthday in late January. It was the first childrens birthday party to be held in the White House in a while, but Fitz decided to invite a lot of Olivia's people as well, because it was her birthday too. He invited Jake because he thought that she had merely refrained from telling him the details of their relationship, but as soon as she saw him he knew she wasn't telling him something. She tensed up and sent him daggers across the garden.
As soon as she had said hello she made an excuse that she hadnt seen Ella yet and needed to find her. Fitz knew that she had seen Ella, because she had all but jumped out of his own arms when Ella spotted Olivia earlier in the day.
Fitz greeted Jake right after Olivia excused herself. They made small talk about their holidays and kids etc. before Fitz spotted Olivia walking inside. He excused himself before he followed her. This didn't go unnoticed by Jake. He followed at a safe distance behind.
Fitz found Olivia in a side room where all the presents for Teddy appeared to be. She was pressed up against a wall, seemingly trying to disappear.
"Liv?" he asked softly. She hadn't heard him come in so jumped at his voice. Olivia went to walk past him but he grabbed her arm. She looked up at him, he could see she was silently begging him to let her go.
"Talk to me. What's wrong. I'm sorry if inviting Jake was the wrong thing, I just thought…" he said apologetically. She ripped her arm from his, but didn't leave.
"I have been avoiding him." She confessed.
"Why?" he asked confused. She laughed.
"Why do you think?" she said. He shrugged, really not understanding her. She waited before responding.
"I don't know how I feel about him." She said turning around. Fitz found a wall to lean on, one where he could stop her if she tried to escape. Olivia did know how she felt about Jake, that was a lie, she just didn't know what that meant for how she felt about Fitz.
"I think you do know how you feel about him, your just scared." He said casually, keeping his eyes on her back. She turned around to look at him.
"Oh you do, do you?" she said snarkily.
"Yes, because otherwise you wouldn't be this confused." She knew he was right and hung her head. He approached her.
"So what do I do?" she asked desperate.
"Be with him." He said standing just a meter away from her. He was furnishing his best encouraging smile, trying to cover his own sadness. She searched his eyes.
"What about Franklin and Lilly?"
"Your Olivia Pope, you're the queen of compartmentalising." She didn't know whether to be offended or complimented by this and her face showed it.
"It's a compliment." He smiled a proper smile. She didn't return the smile.
"Jake. Hi." Fitz and Olivia heard Mellie's chirpy voice coming around the corner. Fitz took a couple of steps back. Oliva shook her head to compose herself. "I was looking for the bathroom." They heard Jake approaching with Mellie and seconds later they rounded the corner, Mellie holding a large box wrapped in red wrapping paper.
When Mellie registered that Fitz and Olivia were in the room she felt awkward. "I hope I'm not interupting anything." She said placing the box down.
"Not at all." They said in unison.
"I just found Jake wandering the halls looking for the bathroom, Olivia do you think you could show him where they are, Fitz, Teddy is asking for you."
Fitz nodded and smiled breifly at Olivia before leaving the room, Mellie close behind, giving Olivia a sympathetic look. Jake and Olivia were now alone. Olivia cleared her throat. "Let me show you the bathroom." She said and Jake followed her. When they arrived Olivia spoke again. "I'll see you back out there." Before she turned on her heels.
Jake returned to the party and chatted breifly with Olivia's team while she was talking to Cyrus and James. Shortly after Mellie and Fitz made their way to the table where the cake was and got everyones attention.
"Everyone. Can I have your attention." The chatter died down.
"I want to thank everyone for coming, Teddy is only 1, but it has been a big year for us too, so thank you. Also, it is also the birthday of a good friend of ours too, Olivia, so we wanted to know if she would like to share the cake cutting honors with the birthday boy." For the second time that day she shot him daggers, but obliged. She handed her bag to Abby before walking over to Fitz and Mellie. Fitz had Teddy on his hip and he went to her gladly when she asked.
She held little Teddy on her hip as Fitz led the singing of happy birthday. Once the song was finished Olivia picked up the knife and closed her thumb over Teddy's hand and they cut the cake together. The knife came out dirty which Fitz noticed.
"Oh, looks like you have to kiss the nearest boy." And tapped his finger on his cheek.
"Teddy, can Liv have a kiss?" she asked and Teddy puckered his lips and planted one on Olivia's lips.
"Hey!" Fitz joked when Teddy kissed Olivia. The crowd erupted into laughter. Olivia looked at Fitz affectionately before Teddy held his arms out for him and Olivia took her leave.
Olivia returned to Abby to get her bag. Steven put his arms around her.
"You ok?" he asked.
"I'm fine." She responded non-chalantly.
About half an hour later Olivia noticed Jake standing off by himself, just watching everyone. She bit the bullet and went over to him.
"Hey." She said shyly.
"Hey." He said offering her a selection of lollies he had put into a plastic chinese take-out like container they had at the candy bar. She shook her head.
"No thanks." She didn't know where to start so she just made small talk. "So how are you?" she asked.
"Me? Well, I've been trying to figure out why the girl I like is avoiding me. And I think I figured it out." He said not looking at her. Olivia blushed slightly at his admission to the fact that he liked her.
"And what have you come up with." She asked crossing her arms.
"I'm just too nice a guy, too charming, too handsom. And maybe she doesn't know how to handle that." He said smiling at her.
"Oh wow, your cocky." She said dismissively.
"You love it." He responded and she laughed. Then he grabbed her hand. "Liv, I would really like to see you again. I know that maybe this is scary for you, it is scary for me to. I havnt really dated since Sarah died. So maybe we can just take it one step at a time." His eyes pleaded further than his words.
"I think I can handle that." She said squeezing his hand.
They were still holding hands about 20 minutes later when Mellie and Fitz came up to them.
"Hey Liv, we wanted to ask you something. We know we have put it off for a while, but with the election and everything, there just wasn't the time. But we would really like to have Teddy christened this year, in a couple of months, and we were wondering if you would like to be his god mother." Mellie said, motioning to Fitz at the appropriate times.
Olivia looked between the two fo them a little surprised. "Of course, I would be honored. Who is the god father, out of curiosity."
"Andy. Who better to be the godparents of America's baby than the person who got us re-elected, and the president's left hand man." She said their public speil, probably for Jake's advantage.
"Well thank you for asking me, I take such appointment very seriously." She said with a serious frown, emphasising how serious she takes it, but ending with a smile.
"Great, well keep an eye out for the invitation." She smiled before escorting Fitz back to the rest of the party.
"Wow, well you can add god mother to the presidents son to your resume." He said with an impressed, but mocking tone. She nudged him.
"Jealous?" she asked.
"No. Why would I be jealous?" he asked on the offensive.
"You never told me you knew the Grant's. Why is that?" she asked curious.
"I knew you worked with him and thought you might not want to talk about work." He shrugged off, but Olivia felt there might be more, but let it be.
"Wanna get out of here?" he said changing the subject.
"Sure. Lets go get the love birds." She said and they found Lilly and Franklin and said their goodbyes.
"Liv, how about we go out to dinner, the four of us, maybe catch a movie or something." Jake said as they were leaving the party. Olivia looked back and as if he knew what she was thinking she met Fitz' eyes and found him smiling at her. She smiled back at him shyly before she answered Jake.
"That sounds good."