Chapter 5: Who Are You
Note: Hellooooo everyone! Sorry for the wait, I had a lot of stuff to do in real life and this chapter was a hell of a lot to write. Just a heads up, there is some instance of violence and physical abuse in this chapter, so if that is triggering please be warned. We finally get all Of Marina's backstory, and damn is it a doozy.
I closed my eyes and thought back, 13 years of memories back, to the small, frightened six-year-old.
Every morning the little blonde would wake up to light that trickled through the cracks in the ceiling and shone on my face, alerting me that it was time to get up before he did. Next to her, there was a soft grumble and the warm furs were tugged more to her sister's side. Dark hair was the only thing she could see from her, everything else huddled to the side. She paused, considering poking her to wake her up. That would only earn her a bat on the arm and loud grumbling that neither of us needed.
There was always the threat of a beating looming overhead. His temper could be snapped at any moment, and any noise before dawn would do just that. Dressing quickly like she did every morning, she dashed to the hearth of the small wooden home they had lived in ever since she could remember. Grabbing some small morsel she could scrape near the dimmed fire in the hearth, she started to head to the door, my loose blond hair bouncing with every step. As the little blonde reached the creaky handle, above her on the second level of the house, the wooden floor groaned with the weight that was him getting out of his bed upstairs. She bolted out the door, almost dropping the wedge of cheese.
"What do you want to play today?" the short, brown-haired girl had asked as they passed the trickling stream that flowed through Whiterun, adding to the constant music of town life.
"I don't know. Maybe hide and seek?" the blonde's mind was elsewhere, her hands shaking as they walked. Her mother and sister had been ill for days. Her mama, with her soft hands that held her face when she was scared, who hide her and her sister when he was mad. Whose dark hair and warm brown eyes that crinkled when she smiled. Who told her stories and how much she loved her every day, no matter what happened. For the past couple days, she hadn't left bed, and he was angrier than ever, more bottles of wine being thrown. Her sister, with her dark hair and green eyes was coughing so often, it was almost scary not to hear them cough. She didn't know what to do. Her father would bark at her to fetch water and food for them while he stumbled to the tavern, spending his nights there and his days asleep in twice-broken chair by the hearthfire, his brown hair soaked with sweat.
Today, mama had told her to go play. That she had done enough for one day, that Mama and Ayna what be waiting when she came home.
"Go find Lydia, Marina. Go play with her, enjoy the day." and the little blonde had nodded obediently, but clutched her mother's hand in desperation.
"I can get more water..I can tell you stories! I can, mama!" she insisted, tears in her eyes. Next to her mother, her sister started coughing again loudly, and her mother rubbed her back while still holding Marina's hand.
"No no..it is nice day. The merchants are out, the birds are out. It is a day to be happy." she had said, placing a hand on her daughter's chin. There was adoration in her eyes as she carefully said;
"Marina, you are so strong. My strong daughter. I love you..Ayna loves you.." and she stopped. Of course she didn't say he loved her. He didn't love anyone. Her big sister coughed again, loudly.
"I love you." she said again. "Never let it leave your mind. Be brave always. You are..so special." she kept insisting, the little girl noticing how her mother was growing more hurried in her speech.
"I love you too, mama." she said, growing frightened by her mother's hurried words. She looked like she was going to say something else, when below, there was loud grumbling and stomping. Her mother looked to the little girl in desperation.
"Out the window, my love. Don't let him hurt you anymore. It will be alright, go find Lydia. I love you..I love you.."
Lydia and the girl rounded the corner to Breezehome, Lydia holding her hand as they walked. The blonde had been crying again, so Lydia had taken her to see her father. He had given them sweet rolls and sat with the girls while the blonde eventually stopped crying, assuring her that everything would be alright. After he had patted both of their heads, he had gone to meet with the Companions who waited in respectful silence for their leader. Both little girls watched him go in awe.
"He..he is very nice." the little blonde had said as she wiped her lips of the sweet roll, and her friend smiled tenderly.
"He is, every one in the Companions tells me so!" she said with a huge smile. The little girl looked away, feeling an odd tug at her heart. Her father never said anything kind to her, or her family. The brown haired girl looked at her crestfallen friend and reached to hug her.
"I'll always be there to give you a hug, even if your mean old pa won't. I'll always be there to protect you." she insisted, hugging her as hard as she could.
As the approached Breezehome now, there was a crowd of people surrounding it. All neighbors and friends, everyone the little blonde had known most of her life. Now, as they turned around to see her, their expressions grew sad. Lydia's hand released hers as she noticed her mother standing closer to the door.
"Mama?" she asked, and the little blonde followed. Spinning around, Lydia's mother hurried to their side. "Oh, Lydi, you need to go home to Pa. Go get Papa and the Companions. go now." she insisted, coming to kneel in front of the little blonde, who looked around in confusion.
"Why are there so many people in front of my house?" she asked in confusion, her big blue eyes wide with fear.
"Marina….Metia was my dear friend.." she whispered, and as she began to speak again, there was a roar of anger from the doorway of her home.
"Give me my damn wife! She's fine! Just asleep…Oh Metia, Ayna, no!" he wailed loudly, like a wounded animal, and the little girl tried to turn and see.
"Mama?" she asked, panic fluttering in her chest. Lydia's mother took her in her arms and shielded her while her father yowled and wailed in the background.
"Don't look, dear one, don't look.."
Months passed. He only got worse. She tried not to be at home, for when he was he would strike her so fiercely her head would spin. That's why she now lay camped out under the Gildergreen tree, just below the branches as rain and thunder showered her. Covered in bruises, she had tried to make it to the Companions, but had given up and lay broken under the tree.
She had only mentioned her mother and he had snapped that night, the night before she had eaten the last scrap of bread. The night before that, she was sleeping when she should have been cooking. His rage followed her everywhere. Then only time he wasn't yelling was when he was asleep upstairs. She didn't know why he was so angry, but it never ended. It had only gotten worse since her mother and sister had died. The instant their burial was over and the people had dispersed, he had smacked her upside the head and told her to take their well-wished gifts back to the house.
She didn't know what to do. Every day was worse than the last, and fear followed her like a dark cloud. So there she lay, sobbing under the tree, wondering what she had done to make him hit her so.
That's when she heard the grumbling and stumbling of someone trying to make their way through the puddles of the streets.
"Marina! Where…where are you..stupid girl.." and she frozen as their eyes met. He started to lunge for her and she dove out of the way, wincing at her bruised arms as they collided against the stone paving. He snared her arm in his large hand and started to drag her home. She twisted and tugged, trying to free herself, but he held fast. As they started to approach the Breezehome, he slipped in the collecting water and fell, cursing loudly. As he did, several Whiterun guards started to approach and he released her arm, giving her enough time to bolt past everyone, push open the gate and to keep running as hard and as long as she could.
For two days she stumbled through the woods that were on the outskirts of the meadows from Whiterun, and the little blonde never looked back, there was nothing there that she could ever want to return to. Not even her friend, who had promised to protect her. And for those two days, she lived off of stream water and berries she recognized as safe, that her Ayna had taught her from a book she had read.
On the third morning, while curled up asleep under several trees, she awoke to the sound of hushed voices around her. Blue eyes snapping open, there were the shape of figures around her. She squeaked and backed up nervously, looking around her as the figures came into view, murmuring in a language she couldn't understand. There were four of them, tall lean creatures with catlike features, tails, and pointed ears. The Khajiit.
She had seen them before, on the outskirts of Whiterun trading with merchants who had come out to do business with them. They weren't allowed in most major cities, most had had a reputation as thieves and Skooma pushers. The little blonde tried to hold back tears and met their gazes strongly, surprising them, one of them evening chuckling softly. The sound was mixed with a purr.
"This one is brave." he said, his voice soft and kind. She wasn't used to kindness in the months following the deaths of her sister and mother, and she flinched as if he had struck her. His fur was a soft gray and brown, black strips and marks lining his face and arms, taunt whiskers prominent on his cheeks. Next to him, a female Khajiit approached her ever so slowly, sensing her distress.
"Peace now, little one.." she murmured, her voice like warm milk. She stepped closer to the little girl, her wide green eyes full of tenderness. The little girl flinched as she reached towards her, and the Khajiit stopped immiedatly, not wanting to upset her. Since she was the closest, she was the first to see the purple and green bruises covering the girl from head to toe, and her eyes took on immeasurable sadness. She murmured something in Khajiit to the other two besides the the gray and brown Khajiit, who took off.
"Why are you out here..?" she asked softly, moving to sit cross-legged in front of her. The little girl watched her carefully, before answering in a horse voice;
"I didn't want to be there anymore." she whispered, wrapped her arms around herself, trying to give herself some kind of comfort. The female nodded slowly, giving her a soft smile.
"You're very brave to be out here on your own, you know." she told her, and the little blonde lit up a bit, almost smiling. Her mother had called her brave too.
"I am?" she asked the Khajiit, who seemed very pleased she was talking to her.
"You are. But, you see, we aren't as brave as you." the little girl looked up at her in awe. "We could use someone as brave as you to guard us while we have our supper tonight, if you would like to join us."
The little 6 year old looked at them in awe, her blue eyes twinkling at the kindness they were offering her, and she even giggled. Even if the sound was horse and sick with lack of sleep and food.
"I can protect you." the little girl promised, and the Khajiit's smile was radiant. Behind her, the male chuckled gently.
"Well, how kind of you. I am Ahkari. That one is Ra'jhera." the gray and brown one waved at her in a friendly manner.
"I'm Marina."
That night, she dined with a Khajit caravan. As soon as she was full, she had fallen asleep next to Ahkari, snuggling against her and finding a warm happiness she had not felt since her mother. Perhaps never. From that day forward, she was taken in by the caravan. Ahkari and Ra'jhera were a mated pair, then there was Za'ir, Shaar, Nataba and Fa'sien. All of them were welcoming and kind to the little blonde, like an extended family of aunts and uncles. They all cared for her, but Ahkari and Ra'jhera were her "parents" so to speak. She slept in their tent, Ahkari would dote on her, teach her, bath her and take care of her as her mother. Ra'jhera was her adoring adopted father, telling her stories every night and telling her every day how brave she was, and who she could become.
For the next 13 years she grew up with them. She grew strong, fast, intelligent and a very accomplished swordswoman. They taught her how to bargain with merchants, being a nord she would go into cities that wouldn't allow the caravan with Khajiit goods. She learned how to hunt and survive in woods. Everything she learned, she did from them. And she was grateful to them, humble and quiet she had never loved anyone more than she loved the caravan. Not even her mother.
For 13 years she grew stronger. She buried her painful past behind her, never wanting to return to Whiterun again. Even though she could kill him, even though she finally had everything she needed to finally get her revenge, for herself and for her mother and sister, she didn't want to. Ra'jhera had called her Va-Ri all her life, which meant great and brave leader. She wanted to live up to it. She wanted to live up to who they believed her to be ever since they found that little blonde Nord in the woods.
Note: And there we have it. Her full backstory. Now that we know where Marina comes from, let's see where she is going. The next chapter will pick back up where she left off by the fire with the stranger. She will finally make it to Whiterun and then we might have some dragon mischief...maybe even some realization of what a "Dragonborn" is...stay tuned! As always, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means the world to me.