Please note that this chapter has content that could be triggering.
"Rey Kenobi." Mr. Skywalker stares at her with a look of sorrow, of knowing, and also—is that anger? Rey wipes her palms on her pants. It's like she's already disappointed this man, and she doesn't know how or why. It shouldn't bother her, but it does.
"Have a seat," he invites her, waving his hand at a circle of comfortable chairs and benches with clashing patterns and colors. Rey obeys. The moment she sits down, she winces, because it's as if jet lag's sunk its claws back into her and is pulling her towards a cliff of desperately needing sleep.
"I didn't get the chance to meet with you yesterday," Mr. Skywalker begins, taking a seat across from her and folding his hands in his lap. "It's my policy to meet with all new students, especially seniors."
Rey crosses her legs, trying to maintain calm. "Okay…"
"I knew your grandfather," Mr. Skywalker says, his lips twitching in almost a smile. Rey relaxes. "He was my teacher when I attended this school. My adviser, even."
"Write your college recommendation letters and everything?" Rey offers.
Mr. Skywalker nods. "He was a great man."
Rey stifles a yawn. "I'm glad to hear it." She is. She wants to believe that someone in her family is good, so she can believe she's good, that she's worth something.
Although, she supposes being related isn't a sign of any goodness or lack thereof. Look at this man's miserable nephew.
"Have you thought about college yourself yet?" Mr. Skywalker inquires.
She shakes her head, tearing her mind away from the image of Ben following her to her locker. "I thought I couldn't afford it. Although, now… maybe I can, I don't know, get a scholarship or something."
"That's a good idea," Mr. Skywalker encourages her. "You should make an appointment with Maz Kanata. She does counseling, for both college and support services."
Rey swallows and wonders just how detailed the report her caseworker back in the UK sent them was. How much does Luke Skywalker know, and how much is he judging her? "I don't think anyone would write my rec letters," Rey admits. There's no way she'll ask anyone from her old school. "I wasn't exactly an angel."
"Yes, I read several reports about stealing and fighting, but your grades have always been stellar." Mr. Skywalker peers at her. "Avoid those particular activities and you might have staff here lining up to write for you. And, I should add, if you don't, your scholarship can easily be revoked."
The hope Mr. Skywalker just offered chills in Rey's heart. "I won't be. There's no need to, not here." She tries not to think of Phasma and Beebee-Ate. "I stole because I was hungry. And the only fights I ever got in were to help other people." Please don't think badly of me.
Mr. Skywalker nods. "I saw that as well." He sighs. "You should know that at Jedi Academy, each member of staff here, from the teachers to the secretaries—we all aim to be here for students, Rey. If you ever need to talk to any of us, we're here."
She nods. I'm fine.
"So," Mr. Skywalker asks, relaxing. "Tell me. What was your favorite subject today? How's your dorm room?"
"Heard from your father lately?" Snoke inquires when Ben's barely in the door.
He shakes his head as he shuts the door behind him. "He tries to call like once a day. I don't answer."
"Good for you," Snoke says. "Your grandfather would be appalled that your mother had married such a leech. He'd want so much better for his only daughter."
"I think she might be staying with him," Ben blurts out, heart pounding. He doesn't know whether he wants Snoke to condemn this or accept this. He doesn't know what he should feel himself.
"Hm." Snoke leans forward across his desk. "That would be a disaster for her career."
"I know," Ben mutters. "But I don't think she cares about that. She loves him." Anger sizzles inside him. Love is making his mother look stupid in front of everyone. Although she had to know before she married him, Ben figures. Some of it, at least.
When Snoke told Ben about who his father used to be, he tried to tell himself it didn't matter. That it was fine.
"Is it really, though?" Snoke scoffed, leering at Ben with a look of brewing disappointment, a look that Ben wanted to flee from.
"But he doesn't do that anymore," Ben insisted. "He left smuggling."
"People don't change, Ben. You are what you are. Your father is what he is. He can try, but he'll always have that disreputable part of him." Snoke studied Ben, as if he could see that disrepute, that failure, inside him.
Ben presses his thumbs against his temple, trying to block out what he did next, trying to paint over it. It was right. It was justified.
You can't change and that's good. That's fine. It's right.
Why does she fight to stay with him, but sends me away? Sends him to deal with this man Ben owes everything to and yet wants to gag at the sight of?
How can you say that? You're being selfish. Snoke cares. Without him, you'd be nothing.
I'm sorry, Ben apologizes inside his head, hatred twisting around and directed only at himself.
"That's quite sad," Snoke muses. "She deserves better. So do you." Snoke switches on his computer.
See?
"How are college applications going?"
"Fine. Essays are almost finished."
"The essays, Ben."
"The essays," he repeats, face flushing.
"Good," Snoke says. "You can't talk like that bum of a father you have. Talk like a professional, Ben. I am your principal."
This is ridiculous. But Snoke is also the only person at this godforsaken school who actually cares about him, about Ben's wants and needs. No one else has ever encouraged him to reach as high as Snoke has. All of his teachers consider him a star student, but nothing more than that, a light for them to point other students to in terms of academia and a darkness for other students to avoid when it comes to his attitude. Snoke'd told Ben he has leadership potential. Snoke's been mentoring him to show him how to lead even a school. Snoke listens to him. Snoke actually answers his questions about his grandfather and his family history, the questions Mom and Dad and Uncle Luke never answer beyond, "it's complicated."
Ben glances up at the photographs of past principals and deans lining the room. There's Qui-Gon Jin with Obi-Wan Kenobi—Rey's grandfather—Yoda and Mace Windu, Grandpa with Sheev Palpatine, and Snoke with Uncle Luke. He gazes at his grandfather's face, tortured and bald after a car accident that killed Ben's grandmother.
And then his eyes move to Obi-Wan's face. The man never wanted to become principal—much like Uncle Luke, Ben figures. He'd rather interact with students than the stuffy board, Uncle Luke once said. So would I.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi's granddaughter is in a bunch of my classes," Ben says, something bubbling inside of him. "She seems really smart. And it's kinda cool, isn't it? Since our grandfathers worked together…"
Snoke snorts. "Without saying more than I can say… she's trouble, Ben. You'd do well to stay away from her. I've seen her file."
Ben's heart sinks. The girl who ate brownies with her whipped cream, who actually took on Phasma despite being tiny in comparison, is trouble? Why?
"Don't tell me you have a crush." Snoke's voice drips with contempt.
"Of course not!" Ben defends himself. He's only just met her. And his mind fills with the image of Rey peering at him around her locker after she called him on his bull. His face turns red and Snoke shakes his head. "I'll stay away from her," Ben insists. "I promise."
"We shall see," Snoke murmurs, getting to his feet. "Show me what you're studying."
Digging through his backpack, Ben drags out his various textbooks and notebooks, laying them out on the desk. Snoke pulls up a chair next to him and comments on his notes, fills him in where there are gaps. And when Ben feels Snoke's hand slide far too low, he tries to remind himself that it's okay. That Snoke's wise and he gives far more than he takes and he doesn't have to be so supportive of Ben, and Snoke has needs too. It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine.
Finn jumps in the shower as soon as dinner is over and they're all ordered back to their dorms. He might actually make it onto the soccer team, if only from a lack of talent, or so Poe assures him. Well, Poe didn't add in the last part, but Finn can figure it out.
Poe's a decent teacher, too. And he's awfully sweet with Beebee-Ate.
Oh no. You cannot develop feelings for your roommate.
Rey is pretty. Rey is funny. He should develop feelings for her, if only because she isn't his roommate.
Shit.
Finn turns off the shower and changes in the small space in-between the shower and the rest of the bathroom he and Poe share with Ben and Hux.
Ben's leaning against the wall, face pale and with his bangs sticking to his sweat-covered face. "You done in there?" he demands.
Finn nods. "Go for a run yourself, Solo?" He didn't see Ben at dinner, not that he was looking for him.
Ben looks at him like he's a fly Ben would love to slap with a newspaper. "Did you just call me Solo?"
"Ben. Whatever."
"Fuck off," Ben snaps, his fists tightening and unwinding.
"Whoa!" Finn flings his hands into the air. "I was just—"
"Leave me alone!" Ben grabs a container of conditioner.
"Okay." Finn watches as Ben drops the bottle and swears. "Hey man, are you okay?"
"Didn't you hear me when I told you to leave me alone?" Ben seethes as he picks up the conditioner.
"You just seem upset—"
Ben storms into the shower stall, yanking the curtain shut. Slams rebound as if he's punching the walls.
"What in the actual fuck?" Finn gasps to Poe as he darts out of the bathroom.
"You've had the pleasure now of witnessing one of Ben Solo's temper tantrums," Poe says drolly. "The first of many we'll overhear."
"Why doesn't Threepio do something?"
Poe shrugs. "Favoritism? Threepio's buds with Mr. Skywalker."
"Poor Hux," Finn moans as he drops onto his bed. "What a nutcase."
"Really, Hux is just as bad. He's the one who went after Beebee-Ate, remember? At least Ben doesn't pick on other kids so much." Poe slaps his history textbook shut. "He just hangs out with Hux and Phasma sometimes."
"Do they even like him?" Finn wonders.
"No one likes him," Poe states. "Why would they?"
Finn remembers back to his old school, where at the end, no one liked him and the loneliness rears, taunting him. He swallows as he opens his laptop. "I guess he was kind of a jerk in history class."
"Kind of is an understatement." Poe bites his lip. "Do you know what he said to me?"
"What?" Finn asks, curious. He notices Poe's hair, disheveled from running around the soccer field and sticking out at odd angles, and smiles to himself.
"He made fun of me for my mom dying."
Finn shuts his laptop, heart sticking to his chest. "What?"
"My mom was in a car accident over the summer. Some drunk guy… she was on her way home and she didn't make it." Poe blows out his breath. "Most people here know, but they won't talk about it. That's how I want it. I think that's how I want it. I mean, I don't know if I want sympathy from other kids I don't really know or trust. Aside from Jess and Snap and Beebee-Ate and you."
And me?
"I'm so sorry," Finn says. "Man, I don't know what else to say."
"There's really nothing to be said." Poe reaches for his phone. "But I just figured you ought to know. Sorry if I seem, like, a little testy at times."
"No, don't worry about it," Finn says.
"How are your parents?" Poe asks.
Finn shrugs. "They could be dead too for all I know. The state took me away from them when I was a baby, and they've never tried to reach out to me."
More screaming from the bathroom. Poe doesn't react. He stares at Finn, dark eyes swimming in sympathy, in a kindred soul. "Did you live with relatives?"
"No." Finn sighs. "I lived in a variety of foster homes, until this guy named Lando Calrissian—a friend of Mr. Skywalker's—took me last spring. I spent the summer with him, and he got me my scholarship here."
Why did you take me? he asked Lando, the real question dangling: why would you take me?
I know you're innocent, kid.
"Wow," Poe says. "That sucks. I mean, the bouncing around part sucks. The part where you're here is awesome."
Finn laughs. "Yeah." I hope so.
"You know Lando Calrissian's a friend of Ben's parents' too?" Poe asks.
"Are they actually sane people? At least, his mother?"
"Yeah, Ms. Organa's great. And Mr. Solo, whatever the scandal of him smuggling drugs in the past—he's great too. Hilarious, kind. I've only met them a few times, though, but Ms. Organa's friends with my mom and—"
"Oh good God," Finn complains. "It's like everybody's interrelated here."
"Not really!" Poe pauses and frowns. "Yeah, okay. Maybe."
Finn tosses a pillow at him.
"You better be studying in there!" Threepio shouts from outside the door.
"Now he comes," Finn grouses.
"Come on," Poe whispers, opening his laptop. "We can study later. Do you want to play a game on my computer?"
After school the next day, Finn encourages Poe to help Rey on the soccer field while he goes to his appointment. Poe doesn't press, and Finn's relieved, because he doesn't want to have to explain the whole mess to Poe. He doesn't want to see that little glimmer in Poe's eyes, the same glimmer he saw in all his teachers' eyes the last month of school: you wouldn't do this. We know you. But what if you did?
"Come in, come in!" booms the voice of an older woman so short she makes Artoo look like a giant. "I'm Maz Kanata. You must be Finn."
He nods as he drops his bag.
"Take a seat." She waves her hand. "So, these are mandated sessions, are they?"
Finn nods again.
"Are you ever going to speak? It will be very boring for me otherwise." She cackles, and Finn starts to smile. "Well?"
"I—don't know. What do you want me to say?"
"Whatever you want to say!" Maz waves her spindly arms. "This is your time. We can talk about whatever you'd like."
"You're not going to make me talk about—what's on my file?"
"Not unless you want to." Maz adjusts her glasses, which really look more like goggles to Finn as she leans forward, peering at him.
"What are you doing?" Finn asks.
"I've lived long enough to see the same eyes in different people."
"Do you know my parents or something?" Because if she does, Finn's going to run.
"No, child." Maz sits back. "I see your eyes. I know your eyes. They are the eyes of a boy who may not be entirely good, but who definitely did not do whatever he said he did."
Finn's jaw drops. And in her eyes, he sees no glimmer of doubt.
"So," Maz says. "How are you liking Jedi Academy?"
"I've made some good friends…" Finn chatters about Poe, about Rey, hope soaring.