A/N: Wow, this is almost finished. In fact, this is the last "proper" chapter. There are two more coming - one last interlude, all about Bill and Ford's partnership, and then the epilogue, set right after the finale. I'll try to post them next Friday and the Friday after that respectively, so it won't be a long wait, I promise!
Meanwhile, have a Bill fucking up through history.

Years passed. Then decades, then centuries - then thousands and millions and billions of years.

Bill stayed. Bill saw it all. Bill knew everything.

All over the multiverse, civilizations rose and fell. Galaxies were born and extinguished. New dimensions were discovered, old ones forgotten about and left to decay - and no one was left to remember a time when the Second Dimension was known as such, when an orderly world had been where now there was only chaos, where reality itself came apart on a regular basis - its inhabitants having long since turned into misshapen, twisted things that defied reason.

The Nightmare Realm, everyone took to calling it.

There was talk of a demon ancient as time and of immortal demons to his command. They described him in the funniest ways: a beast with a hundred eyes - seriously? - or a creature of fire who ate suns to remain alive. None of them came even close, but who was he to complain? It simply meant that, whenever he found his way to the mind of an unknowing inhabitant of another dimension - because that dumb baby could only trap him there physically, but the astral plane and mindscape were his to roam - they would never imagine who he truly was. No one ever did. No one figured him out.

Not until it was too late.

Slowly, one after the other, the dimensions around his own began to collapse, becoming part of the growing Nightmare Realm. All he needed to do was finding someone receptive enough for him to make his way to their dreams and mind, and get them to open the door from their side. It took work, sometimes, but he never failed: one thing he had learned soon in life was that flattery will truly get you anywhere.

Each time one dimension fell, those closest ones would tremble and strengthen their defenses. That slowed him down, but nothing more. Some dimensions, he took; others, he would rule behind the scenes throughout history by putting in control people he kept under his thumb, each of them unaware of who he precisely was and where he came from, but sucking up each word he said like water during a drought.

Let someone think they're someone special, someone chosen, and they'll be your puppet as long as you need them to.

The Third Dimension, however - the one he had been shut out of, the one he most wished to reach and crush out of sheer spite - still eluded him. The biggest of all Dimensions, and yet the latest in its development: for the longest time, he could find no mind developed enough to grasp even a billionth part of the knowledge he could share, let alone to learn what was needed to create a bridge between their dimensions strong enough to override Time Baby's power.

But it didn't matter. He knew it would get there: he had seen what the future looked like, after all. And he knew that a day would come when a rift would be opened, and he could at last show the Third Dimension how to party. He had seen it - not in detail, not enough to know precisely when, but he had seen it.

It was only a matter of time.

When Gravity Falls and earth becomes sky, fear the Beast with just one eye.

A billion of years later, Mabel Pines would be the last person to fall for his trickery, and fulfill the prophecy.

"Hey, Bill! Was starting to think you weren't coming back this time."

"That long, huh?" Bill muttered, lifting himself up in the air and blinking some against the light. Much of his unlimited time was spent in the astral plane, leaving his body behind encased in stone, and returning to it always meant he needed a few minutes to adjust again to, well, having a physical form at all. In the end, he just decided to let himself drop on a few pillows. A snap of his finger and the fireplace - he had plenty in the palace he had built for himself, more because he liked them than because he needed them to provide any warmth - was filled with roaring fire.

Pyronica shrugged. "Not sure how long, but a while anyway. There were four- no, fifteen attempts at destroying you while you were away. Mostly guys from Dimension 194 - you know, the last one we sucked in? That. Most of those guys tasted horrible, too."

Bill laughed. There had been countless attempts at rebellion, and even more attempts at destroying his physical form when he left it behind to travel through dimensions. None of it was surprising: his world was all about chaos, and chaos doesn't always take it well to obeying one master. It was in its nature, and Bill didn't mind. It made things a whole lot more fun and, really, their attempts were actually kind of adorable.

"Aww, sorry. Gonna take over a tastier dimension next time," he said, and gestured in the air to make a couple of Martini glasses appear. He took one, and Pyronica grabbed the other - not without flopping on the pillows as well, causing him to bounce a bit and nearly spill his drink. "You know you don't even need to guard me, right? I can recreate my physical form any moment when I come back here."

Pyronica shrugged, and emptied her glass in one go. "Hey, doesn't sit well with me and the guys to just let someone waltz in and destroy it. Gotta look after each other. Like in prison, remember?" she said.

"Have you forgotten the part where I got near infinite power and junk?" he asked, filling her glass up again with a quick gesture of his hand. Pyronica laughed and gave his side a light punch. She no longer needed to pull her punches with him, hadn't in a long time, but she did regardless.

"We miss you while you're off, you doofus."

"Of course you do. I don't know what I'd do without me, either."

Another laugh, then she sat up with a grin. "Oh! Here's something funny - I actually caught Kryptos speaking to your statue while it was his turn to guard."

Bill blinked. "... I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"I know, right?" Pyronica snickered. "Teeth, too. He said some sort of joke, I think. Whatever it was, must have been fun. He kept wheezing and laughing to much he couldn't finish."

"Huh. What else?"

"Paci felt like reminding you he slaughtered millions on thousands moons. By the way, he gets on well with the eye-bat thingies from Dimension 987 - you know, the ones that turn things into stone? He can give them commands with his mind, only that at first there was a language barrier and they kept thinking he was asking for them to get him socks. They followed him everywhere just to drop socks on him. Only that they turned them into stone first. It was hilarious - too bad you weren't there," she added, and there was an accusing note to her voice that didn't escape him. Fine, few things escaped him, but that was so obvious it would have been easy for him to pick up even before he became all-seeing, all-knowing and all that jazz.

"Hey, I was busy. Meddling with the multiverse's business is hard work, you know."

"So take a break before you're off again. Party's not nearly as fun without you around," she said, and held up her empty glass. "Fill it up?"

"Sheesh, just admit it's a bartender you missed," Bill said, but he did fill up their glasses.

Pyronica grinned. "That, too. Oh, and Hectorgon's been boasting that he can go faster than you. Been claiming he'd challenge you when you came back.

"Hahahahahah! Now that's rich! I'm going to challenge him first and destroy him."

"Huh… figuratively, right? Just checkin'."

"Maaaaybe," Bill said, and finished his Martini. "So, where are the guys?"

"Out with the new ones. There's a guy with, like, eighty-eighty different faces. Or eighty-seven. Or eighty-nine. Gotta ask again. He's kinda touchy about that. Oh, and there's that Magma guy, bet you're gonna like him. We've also got this funny one with a head… wait, no, he's actually kinda just a head, with one arm like…" she paused and rested her elbow near the top of the head, failing her limb around to emphasize her point. "He'a always hungry, poor guy, and keeps asking people to step in his mouth, but it's not really working."

"Gee, I wonder why," Bill said, rolling his eye. "Sound like we've got plenty new people."

"Yup! Lots of prisons in the last dimension we absorbed!"

It was nothing Bill didn't know, as he was able to see how things were going there even from the astral plane, but it was still good to hear. Most inhabitants of the dimensions he liberated were so unused to freedom that they rejected it, of course, but there were some - usually outcasts and criminals, more often than not ones who had been locked up for quite a while - who didn't mind joining the eternal party at all.

Maybe he could take a break after all - enjoy the party himself, and just check every now and then that his puppets stayed in power in the dimensions he couldn't absorb into his own. The Second Dimension - or Nightmare Realm, he kinda like that new name better - still held up, but its reality was unstable, and he could tell it was ready to tear itself at the seams if he overdid it and expanded it too much. Energy could not be destroyed, sure enough, but Bill doubted it would result with a pleasant experience… and the others probably wouldn't survive it to begin with.

No, the Nightmare Realm was large enough now. He would just keep projecting himself into the right minds to keep other dimensions under his control… and, most of all, keep his eye well fixed on the dimension he really wanted, if anything to spite the one who had thought he could keep him out of it.

Think you can outsmart me, stupid baby? Think again.

It took hundreds of millions of years for the apes on Earth - that tiny planet in a tiny galaxy among millions, the one Time Baby would take over in a distant future if allowed, the one where the fabric of reality was thinnest - to actually, slowly start turning into something else.

Humans. Just not especially smart ones, even compared to the amazingly limited beings he had met in his time in the Infinetentiary, when he had been limited as well but at least already had a thing called personality. His first meeting with the newly evolved species was, to put it mildly, underwhelming.

"Oookay. So, guess I'll give you a few more centuries?"

"Guuughr."

"Wow, rude. Okay, maybe a few thousand years? How 'bout that? Think you guys will be smarter, then?"

The human squinted at him, then reached to scratch his butt with a stick he was holding. A sharp stick. With predictable results. "YEOWCH!"

"... All right, make it a few millions."

The second attempt was some three million years later, and it involved a slightly smarter human. Plus a stick with a sharp rock on top of it.

"Hey there, meatsack! I'm-"

With a roar, the human thrust the stick through Bill's core.

"Whoa! What the- seriously?" Bill protested, crossing his arms. The stick remained stuck through him, but of course it didn't hurt: they were in the mindscape, after all. "What's wrong with you?"

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

Bill rolled his eye. "Oh, knock it off! That guy's overrated, anyway. Plus, he stinks. Literally," he muttered, and snapped his fingers, leaving the mindscape.

Better give them another million years or two.

Gravity Falls, 4,000 BC

"Hello there, pile of bones. Name's Bill Cipher and- hey! HEY! Stop throwing pointy things at me! I'm trying to share knowledge here!"

The human paused and blinked before lowering the bow - why would one keep bow and arrow even in their dreams? - and giving him a quizzical look. "Uh… sorry?"

"Oooh, look at that! It can speak!" Bill laughed, and hovered closer to the young woman staring up at him with wide eyes. "Let's try again, shall we, Khi R'hi?"

"How do you know my name?"

"Oh, I know a lot of things. Name's Bill Cipher, and-"

"An odd name," she declared, reaching up to poke him. "I shall call you Arrow Tip."

"... Well. I've been called worse. Stop poking me. Can we get back to me telling you what I am and you being amazed? Yeah? Awesome."

"Am I dreaming you?"

Bill blinked. "Hey, you meatsacks did get a lot smarter lately! Evolution's done! Now there's just the learning part," Bill exclaimed, reaching to ruffle her hair - only to pull back his hand with a scowl. "Eew, lice. Right. Stone Age problems."

Khi R'hi blinked. "Who are you?"

"The guy with answers, that's who. Here to solve your problems," Bill said, and let his eye roll back in the socket to show several images in quick succession, causing her to back off with a yelp. "Interesting mind you've got. Lots of worries, though. Little sister's sick, huh?" Bill added, letting one image remain in his eye longer than the others - that of a child no older than ten. "And you'd do anything to save her."

Her wary expression turned into sorrow. "She needs more meat. More nourishment. That's why I'm hunting."

"Nu-uh. What she needs is some medicine you guys don't know how to make yet - luckily for you, I know!" Bill said, eye rolling back to normal. "I can show you just what to pick and how to brew it! She'll be back on her feet in no time and live to the grand old age of fifty-five!"

Just as quickly as it had come, sorrow turned into hope. It was kinda fascinating, watching that. Humans were a whole lot more expressive than Bill's kind had been, that was for sure. "Can you truly do that?"

"Of course! I might need a little something in return, but it's a minor detail we can discuss later. Have we got a deal?" he added, and held out his hand, igniting it with blue fire. Khi R'ih winced and stared at it for a few moments, causing Bill to roll his eye.

"C'mon, kid! Shake on it?"

"Shake?"

"Oh. Right. It's a handshake. Just grab the hand and give it a good shake - you won't get burned, no worries. Yeah, like that - atta girl!"

It was the first of many, many deals with the humans living in that place, the one spot on the planet where the barrier between dimension was the thinnest. He held his half of the bargain, and Khi R'ih's sister healed. She held hers by telling the elders about him, and showing them how to summon him so that he'd have free access into their minds - even those that were normally not receptive enough to let him in.

Bill wouldn't share all of his knowledge, of course, but even the crumbs he gave were enough for those stupid meatsacks to trust him utterly. They listened to him. Did as he said without question. And what he asked of them was that the means to summon him would be recorded, written inside of a cave of his choosing, protected by a ritual to ensure nothing would destroy it.

"Someone's gonna come here sometime down the road - not sure exactly who, but I know it will happen. And they've got to summon me at the right time - that's important, okay? Keep that in mind, guys."

He didn't return to that place again for a long time, because there was nothing for him to do there until the day he'd be summoned. He didn't bother looking, either, which was a mistake.

Had he turned his eye there more often, he may have seen the moment a terrified, sweaty man who did not belong to that time and age appeared out of thin air inside the Elder's hut. He may have seen him using a device to take him through time, to show him what would happen. He may have seen them going to the cave and trying, unsuccessfully, to erase the instructions to summon him. He may have seen them resorting to adding something to the cave's paintings instead - a warning not to summon him… and a wheel.

Thousands of years from then, a man looking for answers would ignore the warning. Not too long afterwards, his scorned brother would break the wheel.

Unaware of all of it, Bill Cipher kept shaping the world's history so that it would be ready for the day his chosen pawn would summon him. And shape it he did.

With varying degrees of success.

Atlantis, 2,500 BC

"... Whoops. Hehe. My bad!"

Egypt, 1250 BC - Ramses II

"Sooo, yeah, things might have gotten a bit out of hand, but that was all. I mean, it was just a few locusts and frogs and funny-colored water. And an eclipse. No big deal, so no worries. It's not like anyone will write a book about this or anything. All's peachy."

"... My firstborn died."

"So what? You have, like, twenty-five more kids. Busy guy, huh?"

"There is fire raining down."

"Meteors. Pretty sight, dontchathink?"

"People are dying!"

"Really now, can't you lighten up even a little?"

Samos, 520 BC - Pythagoras

"And therefore, the area of the square built upon the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the areas of the squares upon the remaining sides."

"... Huh. Not that it's wrong, but why would a triangle have squares on all sides? I mean, that drawing looks kinda, er… not like something you'd show kids where I'm from, if you get what I mean."

"It is absolutely revolutionary, and I owe it to you."

"What?"

"I thought it up looking at you."

"Well, whoa. You know what, smart guy? Now I'm feeling mightily uncomfortable. Glad I could help been great to meet cha, Bill out BYE."

Athens, 360 BC - Plato

"... Also, got to be careful with this kind of thing. Last time I kinda sunk Atlantis."

"Sunk… what?"

"Heh, that's actually a funny story! Just don't go telling everybody about it, 'cause it was kinda embarrassing. So, it was a Tuesday…"

Misenum, 79 BC - Pliny the Elder

"So the cynocephalus, or dog people, live right by the Sciapod people with only one leg?"

"Hu-uh. Sure. Sciapods have to hop around to move. Kinda funny. Do write that down."

"And where do they live again?"

"Er… the edge of the world. Far away from here. Like, real far."

"Oh. I wouldn't be able to see them myself, then."

"Afraid not. But hey, you know what we could go take a look at? I heard there's this really cool thing going on in Pompeii right now…"

Alexandria, 415 AC - Hypatia

"Aw, C'MON! Are you still giving me the silent treatment over that dumb Library? I told you it was an accident!"

"You are an accident."

"Whoa, rude. "

Florence, 1500 - Leonardo Da Vinci

"Hey, you know what you should do with that lizard? Build it wings and horns, turn it into a dragon and scare the crap out of people."

"That would be absolutely childish. I have important projects to finish."

"So you're gonna drop everything to turn the lizard into a dragon."

"Obviously."

England, 1666 - Isaac Newton

"I told you a million times, gravity is a lie!"

"The scientific evidence is overwhelming!"

"What, you'd trust scientific evidence over the talking triangle in your mind? Sheesh, thanks. Great to feel appreciated."

Washington, 1776 - Thomas Jefferson

"For the last time, Bill, I am not writing that on the back of the Declaration of Independence."

"C'mon, don't be a bore. I'm sure Ben would do it."

"That's precisely why Franklin is not touching this draft again."

"Spoilsport."

Gravity Falls, 1980

"The One with Answers."

Just as the words left his mouth the cave seemed to grow just a bit darker, but Stanford Filbrick Pines hardly noticed: his full attention was on the drawings illuminated by his lantern, painted in bright colors and amazingly well-preserved for being at least four-to-six-thousand years old. He let his gaze wander over the images, pausing on a wheel that showed… wait, were those glasses? Was that a sack of ice?

Most people, he knew, would take that as a sign the drawings in the cave were much more recent than they were made to look like - maybe a prank of some kind - because it was simply impossible for the ancient natives of that land to have known of the existence of those objects.

But not him. Having been there for almost four years, having seen what he had seen, Ford had come to strike the word 'impossible' out of his vocabulary. Unlikely, yes. Improbable.

But never impossible.

His eyes skimmed over the writing next to the wheel - 'TO VANQUISH IT', it read - and then back to the triangular shape at the center.

The One with Answers. The All-Seeing Eye.

There was an incantation to summon it, too, at the other end of the wall, next to the warning 'DO NOT READ'.

One thing Ford had learned was that such warnings were not to be taken lightly. On the other hand, he had also learned that no one had ever changed the world by being too careful. Plus, he was desperate - his research having hit a dead end he couldn't seem to come out of, no matter how hard he tried.

The One with Answers.

And answers were all he desperately wanted.

Stanford Pines lifted the lantern higher, read the summoning inscription - how odd, Latin words written in characters belonging to a far more ancient language, forgotten by all long before Latin even existed! - and waited.

Nothing happened. Or so he thought.

"And so I told them - no, no, hear this out - I told 'em-"

Triangulum, entangulum. Vene foris dominus mentium. Vene foris videntis omnium!

"WHOA!"

8 Ball blinked. "You told 'em 'whoa'?"

"Was expecting somethin' else."

"Yeah, me too."

"Really, what did ya… Bill?"

But Bill did not answer: he was somewhere else entirely, in the mindscape of the sucker who had finally come along to summon him, having left behind a stone statue still holding a Martini glass. It was lifted as though to raise a toast, and it actually kinda fit: there was a good reason to toast, after all.

It was time.

"Well well, what do we have here? Yup, daddy issues. Go figure."

Bill closed yet another door and took a look around, at the starry sky, instruments and books floating around. It was an interesting mindscape, that of Stanford Pines, although having been summoned allowed him just a superficial look: those doors in the mindscape were windows to some of his memories, the ones in the very back of his mind, but he couldn't actually get through himself, and that was barely scratching the surface.

It would change once he got that sucker to let him into his mind willingly, of course. But even with so little to go by, he could tell he was dealing with someone whose intellect and thirst for knowledge was unmatched by any other of his kind Bill had ever met, and he had met plenty of them. Not that it was going to be terribly relevant - nor very impressive compared to his own knowledge, really - but him being such a smart monkey would make it easier for him to follow his instructions and, at last, build the kind of bridge Bill wanted between their worlds.

It was just perfect, Bill thought with a cackle, and hovered to yet another floating door for a peek. May as well get to better know his most important pawn ahead of the big game, after all, and what better way to do it than- oh, hey, a childhood memory. How adorable.

"Listen, dorks, and listen good. You're a six-fingered freak, and you're just a dumber, sweatier version of him. And you're lucky you have each other because neither of you will ever make any friends! Hahaha! Dorks and losers!"

"Hey. Don't let those idiots get to you."

"But I am a freak. I just wonder if there's anywhere in the world where weirdos like me fit in."

Still worried for that dumb Inspection? Don't be a chicken. You'll be fine. When they see how smart you are, you being a freak won't matter anymore.

… Wait, what the heck was that? That just now hadn't come from Stanford Pines' memory at all. Bill frowned, trying to remember where he had heard that before, but his mind drew a total blank. Maybe he had just imagined it - his imagination was pretty wild after all, if he said so himself. He closed the door and moved on to take a look at the next memory he came across.

"This was no accident, Stan. You did this! You did this because you couldn't handle me going to college on my own!"

"Look, this was a mistake! Although if you think about it, maybe there's a silver lining. Huh? Treasure hunting?"

"Are you kidding me? Why would I want to do anything with the person who sabotaged my entire future?!"

Aww, a betrayal! Now that was cute. Those meatsacks were so sensitive, they couldn't even handle-

Thank you for what? For destroying our dimension? For killing… how many people have died, Bill?

… Ugh, not again - that wasn't coming from Stanford Pines' memories, either, and he couldn't place it. It was weird, and not in a way Bill liked. "Fine, okay, enough with this," he grumbled, and slammed the door shut. He didn't need to know Stanford Pines' life story just yet anyway - and besides, he was just about to fall asleep: he could tell. Soon enough, he would feel the slight ripple telling him he had been pulled into his mindscape and finally, finally get to work.

And once this world is mine, Time Baby, I'll melt you along with the arctic before you even get a chance to-

The ripple came, and Bill could see, through the many eyes in the mindscape, Stanford Pines wandering through it, gaze wide - funny, how humans had no idea what their own mindscape even looked like unless Bill pulled them in - before grasping a sheet of paper in mid-air to read it. He didn't look up when Bill hovered closer, until he was right behind him.

Very well. Time to impress… and, if the guy's startled expression when he suddenly turned around was anything to go by, he had made an impression alright.

"Hiya, smart guy!"

"Gah!"

Holding back a laugh - it was funny, just how much he looked like a startled owl - Bill began circling him. "Woah, don't have a heart attack! You're not ninety-two yet!"

"Who are you?"

"Name's Bill," he replied, tipping his hat. "And your name's Stanford Pines, the man who'll change the world! But I'm getting ahead of ourselves; let's relax! Care for a game of interdimensional chess?"

A thought was all he needed to summon precisely that, plus seats. Stanford was still confused and still looked a lot like an owl, but Bill managed not to laugh. "Have a cup of tea," he offered before settling down and making the first move with a knight.

Stanford looked hesitant, but he did make a move, then another - and by then, he was already looking like he was enjoying the game.

"Haven't had a good game for a while, huh, Sixer?" Bill asked, moving his Bishop forward. "Gotta be hard, with a mind like yours - hard to find someone who's a real challenge, I betcha."

Stanford raised an eyebrow, and hesitated for a moment before making a move. "Well. I would say you are a challenge, uhm… Bill, was it not?"

"Bill Cipher," he confirmed. Another move, and he captured one of Stanford's pieces. "The One With Answers. The All-Seeing Eye. You called me, remember?"

Comprehension dawned on Stanford's face. "Oh, I see. The incantation from the cave - that is what summoned you, isn't it?"

"Well guessed - though it wouldn't have worked for a mind less brilliant than your own," Bill lied, throwing in some flattery just in case. "Hey, drink your tea before it gets cold. You always let it cool, don't you?"

"Heh. True, I suppose that when I get carried away with work I forget… wait. How do you know that?"

"I know a lot of things. It sorta happens when you're around for… wow. A long time, come to think of it. But I like to think I'm still young inside. Got your bishop," he added, gesturing it off the chessboard.

Stanford frowned slightly at the board, then made another move - and not a stupid one, either. He was good at that, and actually made for a decent challenge as long as Bill avoided taking a peek into his next move. "So… what are you, precisely?"

"I am a muse, Stanford. Every century, I choose… hey, hey. What's with the raised eyebrow? Were expecting you some goddess with long flowing hair, a robe, maybe a cithara in my hand?"

That made him chuckle. "Well… that is the traditional portrayal."

Bill rolled his eye. "Just because people don't pay attention, that's why. I mean, I'm everywhere through history. Check in your wallet if you don't believe me. Plus, the look doesn't really work for me," he said, snapping his fingers, and a robe and wig appeared on him. He frowned. "Or does it? Never tried it. Does it bring out my eye?" he asked, leaning forward and batting his eyelashes.

Stanford made a noise that sounded much like a snort, and pressed a six-fingered fist against his mouth to hide his smile. "... A-hem. Doesn't really suit you, no."

"Yeah, I think I'll stick to the hat and bowtie. Much classier. Anyway," he added, making the robe and wig vanish with a gesture and leaning back on the seat. "I am here to help you out of the slump your research got into. I choose one brilliant mind a century to inspire, and you? You're the lucky winner, Sixer. You hit the Knowledge Jackpot! Oh, and you also lost a pawn. Your move."

Stanford blinked at him for a moment, then his face opened in a smile that most might have described as hopeful, but Bill would more likely describe as 'nerdy'. He leaned forward, eager as a schoolkid. "So you're here to help me unlock the mysteries of Gravity Falls?"

Look at that, Bill thought. As expected, taking advantage of that guy was gonna be easier than stealing candy from Kryptos.

"Wow, you sure think small for such a smart guy. Think BIG!" Bill exclaimed, and lifted his arms. Around them, a grid rose, showing equations that contained answers to most, if not all, the questions mankind had been asking throughout their existence. "I can, and will, help you unlock the mysteries of the universe and more! I'll guide you into-" His eye fell back on the chessboard, and he paused. "... Did you just capture my rook?" he asked, more than a little taken aback. That hadn't been a planned loss at all.

Stanford leaned back on his seat, and this time he had a grin on his face that was nothing short of smug. "Your move," he said, then, "tell me more."

I've got him, Bill thought, and almost laughed in triumph. Almost. For now, he had to hold back… and to take care of another detail first.

"With pleasure, Brainiac. Here's the first bit of knowledge - no one has ever beaten me at chess before," he said, eye narrowing, and made his move.

And, even though he really couldn't remember anyone ever beating him before, something in the back of his mind stirred when those words left him - the annoying sensation that something was amiss.