Your grandfather would have expelled you.
But the rules have changed since Ben's grandfather was in charge, so a week-long suspension is all he gets. Maybe. Snoke's fury poured off of him in their meeting, the meeting Artoo attended with Ben since his parents couldn't make it.
And there's the unspoken phrase: you're more like your father than I thought.
For that matter, he's been ordered to stay with Uncle Luke for the next week. Hux smirks as he passes Ben in the hall, and Ben glares at him. He can just imagine what's going through Hux's mind: money for him, his roommate gone for the week… it's a win-win.
Ben's teachers email him his school work, and Ben spend the rest of his day huddled in Uncle Luke's guest room, loathing himself and at the same time loathing Uncle Luke and Mr. Snoke and this fucking school for being stuck two decades earlier in terms of morality.
I'm screwed, Ben thinks. He's never going to be able to get away from here, not really. There's too much of his father in him. He more or less completely at Mr. Snoke's mercy when it comes to whether he can even get into college or not, and he can't tell anyone about what Snoke makes him do, because he's been doing it for years and surely people would ask why a tall, strong kid like Ben didn't fight him off, didn't tell someone years earlier, why he let it continue on for so long.
He needs Snoke, and he hates him for it.
"Ben?" Uncle Luke calls sometime in the evening. "Dinner's ready. And you at least don't have cafeteria food!"
Is he actually trying to joke? Ben rolls his eyes and taps his phone. Six texts from Mom, two from Dad. He cringes.
"Ben?" Uncle Luke sticks his head into the room. "Are you feeling all right?"
"I'm not hungry," Ben says.
"You're a teenage boy, Ben. Logically, you're always hungry."
Ben is starving, and he groans as he sits up.
"Did you stay in here all day?" Uncle Luke asks, frowning.
"I'm not allowed to leave your house, remember?" Ben snaps.
"You are allowed to leave my guest room, Ben. I made pasta. Come on."
Ben trudges down the stairs after his uncle. "How did the soccer teams do?"
"The girls' team won. The boys' team lost."
Rey won. Ben's spirits lift a little.
"Mr. Snoke said to tell you he'll continue mentoring you," Uncle Luke adds.
The forkful of fettuccine alfredo stops halfway to Ben's mouth. "He did?"
"Yes." Uncle Luke leans across the table, studying Ben's face. "I asked him, because I thought you might be relieved if you knew."
He shrugs.
"Do you want to continue with Mr. Snoke?" Uncle Luke inquires.
"Of course," Ben says quickly. The pasta tastes like sludge, because he doesn't want to taste it. "How are your mentoring sessions going?" he asks, spinning the tables before Uncle Luke can notice something to pounce on. "With Rey Kenobi?"
"She's a sweet girl," Uncle Luke says.
"So you're glad you gave her that scholarship after all?"
"I don't like your tone, Ben."
He deflates.
"Yes, I am. She mentioned that you told her about me and her grandfather," Uncle Luke adds, taking a sip of water.
"Not everything. I figure some of it should come from you. Ideally," Ben says, watching his uncle's face twitch.
"There are limits to what—"
"To what she needs to know?" Ben demands. "That's bullshit. You should tell her and tell her soon." Or I will.
"Ben, have you considered seeing a counselor?"
"Don't change the subject!"
"You're acting irrationally," Uncle Luke informs him. "And you're a teenager. When you're an adult, you'll understand why we do the things we do."
"That I doubt." Ben stands, shoving his half-eaten bowl away from him. "I'm done. Thanks."
Two days later, tapping on the door interrupts Ben's empty Reddit searches. He drags himself out of bed and hears a familiar bark.
Chewie?
Oh no.
Ben briefly contemplates pretending he's taking a nap, but that will never work. He opens the door and Chewie bounds in, followed by his father.
"Hey, kid."
Ben tries to ignore Chewie and can't. He drops to his knees and scratches behind Chewie's ears. "What are you doing here? I thought you were too busy."
"Your mother is too busy. They still need her at the foreign affairs office as a consultant. I, on the other hand, can afford to take time off."
Ben rolls his eyes. "And Uncle Luke called and told you I'm a fuck-up."
"You called," Dad points out. "And okay, he called last night." He frowns. "Hey! Watch your language!"
"Whatever. I'm not a fuck-up. I'm fine. I mean, I messed up, I smoked weed, so has practically every other kid. I won't do it again. You can go home and tell Mom that and you can both sleep happy tonight."
"Why would you think that would make me happy, Ben?" Dad demands, adjusting the vest he always wears. "I came up here to talk to you. See how you're doing."
"I'm fine."
"Luke thinks you might need to talk to someone—"
"I'm fine!" Ben screams.
"Oh, for crying out loud!" Dad clutches his hair as if Ben's making him want to tear it out. "If you want help, Ben, this is me offering to help you get some!"
Ben shakes his head, the memories of what he did to his father over the summer surfacing and threatening to topple him. It's too late. "I don't need help!" I'm not weak.
He's not. He's more than weak. He can barely look his father in the eye, he likes a girl who will never like him, and he'll never, ever live up to his grandfather's legacy or his mother's or even his damn uncle's, because he's a failure, but he can't fail because it's not an option.
"I smoked pot a few times," he snaps. "It's not like I was smuggling drugs."
Chewie growls as if he knows what Ben said.
Dad's face blanches. "Listen here—that was when I was young, and stupid. Your mother straightened me out."
"I'm not that stupid," Ben says, watching his words cut his father where he's aimed them, and feeling them cut himself.
Dad swallows. "I know you're not."
"I'm not a fool like you." That's the sentence. It sends his father stepping backwards, looking at Ben as if he doesn't know who he is anymore.
"I have schoolwork to do. Studying," Ben says, turning on his heel and stalking into Uncle Luke's guest room. He slams the door and actually pulls out his French textbook, but without Rey's help, the words mean nothing. After about a half hour, he cracks the door open.
Nothing.
Dad left.
Ben stares at the empty living room with its empty couches and its empty chairs.
His dad won't even want to save him now.
Both teams get back to school in the early evening, after a brief stop at a pizza place to celebrate her team's win and Poe's birthday.
"Legally an adult," Poe proclaims.
"Legally being the key word there," warns Coach Connix. "You still have to do what your teachers say, Dameron."
"Yeah, yeah." Poe grins.
Rey notices him checking his phone multiple times, only to lose a little light in his eyes after each check, until at last, as they're arriving, his dad calls.
Finn nods as if giving Poe's dad approval for calling.
"See you tomorrow," Rey says as she gets off the bus, Poe still chattering on the phone. "Happy Birthday!"
Poe nods and waves. Finn gives her a hug.
Jess collapses straight into bed, but Rey can't sleep. She fiddles with her phone, surfs the internet, tries to study, but nothing works.
On nights like these, nights when she prayed to whatever god or universe might be listening, might care, for her mother to return, when Unkar Plutt stomped around their apartment, Rey would slip out her window, scale the fire escape and climb to the roof of their building.
At Jedi Academy, if she goes outside after hours, she'll wind up in the dean's office again.
But soccer's over for the season. There are no more practices to miss.
Rey slides off her bed and cracks open the door, slinking through the dilapidated dorm with her phone in her pocket. She's not even sure where she wants to go. Maybe to the top of the hill, where the quad is, to look at the stars.
It's all too easy for her to scale the gate, and from there Rey hides from an oblivious security guard on patrol and darts towards the quad.
Someone's already there.
"Oh," she says, recognizing him. "It's you."
"What are you doing out of your dorm?" Ben asks, voice tilted somehow. Slurred. He holds a bottle of what looks like red wine in his hand.
"Aren't you supposed to be suspended? Phasma said Hux texted her and said—"
"Yeah, but I'm staying with my uncle. Staff housing is on campus, too. I'm just not supposed to leave. House arrest." Ben drinks from the bottle.
"Where'd you get that?" Rey demands.
"My uncle's cabinet. Picking locks is easy. He's got like dozens of bottles. He won't notice."
"If you get caught, considering the circumstances—won't they expel you?"
"I don't think I care." He drinks some more. "I do care," he admits. "I don't care. Both." Ben peers at her. "I was going crazy in that house. How about you?"
Rey wraps her arms around herself. Her thin jacket isn't enough for the autumn chill. "I couldn't sleep. I wanted to look at the stars."
"Do you know constellations?" Ben asks, almost eagerly.
"No. I mean, not besides the Big Dipper. And the little one."
"Come here." Ben pats the grass next to him, and even though her stomach clamps, Rey takes a seat next to him as he points to various shapes and constellations. Even drunk, his voice has a soft, sensitive wave to it, lulling Rey almost to sleep.
"Am I boring you?" he asks.
"What? No! Not at all." Rey peers into his eyes so he'll know she's telling the truth.
"Want some?" He offers her the bottle, and against her better judgment, Rey takes it and glugs some down. Hot damn, it's stronger than she thought. She coughs.
"Not used to it?"
"I suppose you're more than used to it."
"Not really." Ben puts the bottle down. "I don't really drink much. Except now."
"Why?" Rey leans back on her arms.
"My dad came to see me. Mom's too busy. He just… he doesn't like me, and I don't like him, and he left."
Rey blinks. "But he came to see you."
"He was guilted into it."
"Ben, my mother doesn't… I mean, she was gone. Always. My father could be a prince or he could be a drug addict. I'll never know. My mom probably didn't know. You have parents." She shakes her head, because she doesn't understand how he could reject his parents, how he could hate them.
"You're lonely," he states, and she hears the undercurrent flowing through his voice: so am I.
Rey grabs the wine and drinks some more. She likes the taste.
"Why did she leave?"
Rey shrugs. "Who knows? She's dead. I found out over the summer, when child protective services took me in." She drinks more. Fast.
"Were you on your own before that?" He lies back, staring up at her with concern in his eyes.
"Kind of. Not really. I lived with my mother's sort-of boyfriend. Unkar Plutt." Rey shudders, and she drinks more to wash away the taste of his name, the feel of it on her tongue. She hates him. "He was an asshole."
He sits back up, rubbing his head. "What happened?"
"I ran away. I stole his car and I ran away." Rey swallows several mouthfuls, the wine sending her head spinning. "I didn't really steal it, actually," she admits, fully aware that she's sharing too much and not caring. "I was borrowing it and he freaked out and called the cops. They arrested me but let me go. I guess it was a blessing in disguise."
"Borrowing it to meet with friends?" He's teasing.
"No." The cold seeps through Rey's jacket, through her jeans. She runs her hand through the wet grass. "No, I borrowed it because I—because Unkar—fuck—because he was an asshole and he—he raped me." She's not sure she's ever said that out loud before. Damn wine.
Ben doesn't say anything, but he looks at her, and even though it's dark, his eyes—God.
"I was afraid I was pregnant," Rey whispers. "I wasn't. I was just scared. So I wanted to go to a clinic to get a test and get an abortion if I was, and he wouldn't give me money to take public transport, so I borrowed his car. I'd been more or less avoiding the apartment after it happened, anyways. I think he freaked out. And the policewoman who arrested me figured it out." Rey grabs the wine and chugs it.
"Is he in jail?"
"Yeah." Rey lets go of the bottle, dropping her head.
"He deserves to be shot," Ben spits. "I'm sorry, Rey."
"He does," Rey agrees. "But it doesn't matter—because I'm stuck here. Not the academy, but just—I—he comes into my mind whenever I want to forget him, and he won't leave me alone. And my mother—she should have known what kind of man he was and she still left me with him and I hate her for it. She's dead, and I still hate her for it."
"You could get counseling."
"Me?" Rey snorts. "How about you?"
"Shh." He grabs her arm. "Do you hear that?"
"No." And then, footsteps. "Shit!"
"Come on!" Ben grabs her and they scramble out of the quad, down one of the narrow pathways. Rey stumbles, her head spinning.
"I think I'm going to throw up." She wraps her arms around a tree, panting.
Wtf? Poe texts back. The last person he expected to get a text from right now, in the middle of the goddamn night, is Ben Solo, telling him Rey is drunk and needs help getting into her dorm. How am I supposed to know how to get into Jakku?
It's one in the morning. What on earth is Rey even doing out at this hour?
Can you text her roommate? Ben asks. Then: she's really sick.
I'm guessing the alcohol was yours, bro, Poe texts back. He's awfully tempted to just let this emo brat get expelled. But that would be at Rey's expense, and Poe can't do that to his friend. He climbs out of bed and slips his shoes on, scurrying through Yavin 4 and climbing up one of the pillars, onto the roof, where he crawls to the edge and slips down to the ground.
Jess hasn't responded to his texts, so Poe finally calls her.
"What the hell?" she greets him.
"Your roommate is very, very drunk, apparently, and I'm going to bring her to the Jakku gate in five. Can you help her get in?"
"What? Poe, I'm barely awake here—"
"See you in five." Poe hangs up and jogs down on of the paths, turning towards the right to find Rey clutching a tree, Ben clutching her arm and looking incredibly guilty.
"What did you give her?" Poe demands.
"I drank wine," Rey moans. "It was my own choice, Poe."
"Okay," Poe says, reaching for her. "Okay, Rey. I'm going to take you to your dorm, and Jess is going to let you in, okay?" He glares at Ben.
"I'm sorry," Ben mumbles.
"'S not your fault," Rey slurs.
"You're bad news. Stay away from her," Poe snarls at Ben.
He nods, stepping back. "I know." And then he's gone, disappearing down the path that leads to staff housing.
"C'mon, Rey," Poe coaxes her as she groans. He has to pause and hold her hair as she vomits again.
"How's she going to climb up?" Jess hisses through the gate when they finally arrive at Jakku.
"I'll be fine," Rey sings.
"Uh, Rey, I don't think you will," Poe says, staring at the gate.
"I can do it!"
"Let me give you a boost, at least?" he begs.
"Mm… 'kay."
Poe lifts Rey by her waist, watching her scramble to climb the gate. Her foot clangs against the metal, and he sucks in his breath, but no one comes to bust them.
Rey drops safely to the ground. "Thanks," she says. "An' happy birthday."
"It's not my birthday anymore. Not technically," Poe calls. "Sleep well." He doubts very much that he'll see her in history tomorrow.