In a room, on the eighth floor, of UMass Memorial Medical Center, away from the prying eyes of the press and pedestrians, sat two people. Both trying to come to terms with what they had just been told. The one, a boy no older the fourteen (and three quarters he would be quick to tell you) was sat on the bed, gown hanging limply and loosely from his body. His normally bright blue eyes were darker then they'd ever been. His mind reeling as it tried to comprehend what it had just been told.
It was impossible.
There was no way.
He shifted, not knowing what he was trying to accomplish. There was no way after having a bomb like that dropped on him that normality would ever be the same again. What even was normality any more?
Across from him, in an above average hospital grade issued chair sat a man, around the age of forty, his dark hair beginning to finally show the signs of raising five energetic boys, on his own. He watched the young teenager while at the same time unsure as to what he should do for himself. His youngest, his baby, there was just no way. As he looked at the teen's eyes, he could see the unshed tears, refusing to fall because of the boys teenage pride. Taking a deep breath and trying to sound as calm as possible, despite the raging fear, sadness, and terror, that flowed through his entire being, the man leaned forward and lightly clasped one of the boys hands in his own.
"Alan... Allie... Please, talk to me, don't shut us out, don't shut me out"
The news was still too fresh, still too boggling. But when it finally sunk in, it would be devastating. As the doctors had expected it to be as it wasn't every day that a life so young was given such a short time to live.
"Dad...What...I-I don't even know what to do"
Thats when the dam broke, when the devastating news finally sunk in.
Alan broke into soft whimpers, trying, and failing, to hold in his tears. But whimpers soon turned into sobs and soon his entire body was racked with them. He wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around himself as Alan soon found himself doubling over. How was one supposed to move forward when they were just told that their life would not be as long as they had imagined it would be. How did one cope?
Jeff wiped a few stray tears from his eyes as he stood slowly, softly walking the short distance to his sons side. He placed his hands; warm, gentle, firm, and stable, on Alan's face as he gently brought it up, to look him in the eyes.
"Will move together, you will never be alone"
And while it didn't make much sense to any outsiders, this little comment, this moment, meant more to the two Tracy's then anything. Alan found himself collapsing against his father, breaking out into harsh sobs again. Jeff twisted around and sat on the side of the bed, nearest the pillows, and pulled Alan up and into his lap. Instead of fighting the actions, Alan twisted and latched onto the front of Jeff's shirt, burying his face into his dads chest as he wept. At some point, Jeff started rocking them both gently ( an action he had not done since Alan had been six) muttering soft nothings into his youngest's hair.
Mixed with the saltiness of tears as he silently shook himself with sobs.
The knowledge finally hitting him. His baby, not his baby.
For on this day, the Tracy family's lives had changed forever.
On this day, Alan Tracy, the youngest (and some might say, the life) of the Tracy family, was diagnosed with Leukemia.
When Alan's sobs had calmed enough, to the point that he was left a hiccuping mess, did they try to talk again. Softly, quietly.
"Dad, what am I gonna do? I'm going to have to start chemotherapy and I'm going to have to quite the Baseball and Soccer teams, and I'm gonna have to start online school if I wanna graduate before I di-"
Alan's voice broke and cracked at the word, Jeff hushed him and his embrace became tighter if that was any way possible.
"What will I tell the guys, Dad, how do I break it to them?"
Jeff shushed him softly, "We'll get through this Alan, we will, and I'll tell your brothers."
With the tone he had used, Alan knew that it was better not to fight his father on this one and to be completely honest, he was happy that the job of breaking the news to his brothers that he was dying was no longer on his shoulders. Jeff felt more then saw Alan succumb to sleep as the stress of the day's events finally caught up to him.
With Alan finally out for the count, sleeping soundly nestled in his arms, Jeff was able to think more clearly. More thoroughly.
They had thought that it had been a simply case of the flu. Alan had developed a fever, and though he said he felt other wise fine, they found that it was higher then normal. That night Alan had fallen asleep early, after having slept most of the day away, and his fever had skyrocketed as it had him waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat.
Still, written off as flu symptoms.
Then the next day, he woke up very warm to the touch and complaining of a headache. Virgil had given him some Ibuprofen and told him to take it easy for the day, and to come find him if the headache hadn't lessened over the course of the day.
It hadn't.
And when he had lightly tapped the side of the table as he made his way to the pool in the back, the bruise the size of a water melon had formed on the side of his leg.
But, what had caught their attention and changed their minds on this being simply the flu, was when Alan had come into his dads office. Looking equally both parts nervous and embarrassed, as he recounted to his dad how he had found blood. (In his poop).
Jeff had put on hold everything and anything he had been working on and they had both taken Tracy 1 to the nearest hospital that they could think of, finally understanding that they needed more help then Virgil could most likely give. But never had they expected it to be this. The one thing that nobody was ever really prepared for.
The Tracy patriarch was pulled from his thoughts at the soft knock on the door and a head of gray fine hair poked in, the doctor from before. The one who had found the end of the Tracy Family's baby's life. Jeff nodded his head in permission and the man walked in the door, a small smile of relief clouding his face as he spotted Alan asleep in his fathers arms on the bed. It had been a hard couple of hours since they had first come in, and sadly, it would not be getting any easier for the family.
"Mr. Tracy, if I may, your son will need to begin treatments right away. The sooner we get to fighting this thing the large the chance of him beating it gets."
Jeff nodded his head, his eyes never leaving his youngest son's peaceful face. The tone the doctor was using was obvious.
"But, you told us that his chances wer-"
The doctor nodded his head, knowing exactly where the world famous man was going.
"Yes, his chances as of now are looking slim for the age of 21, but with time and careful planning and medicine, I do think we can nip this thing in the butt"
They were silent for a long moment, the doctor allowing time for all this information to sink in for the Tracy Father. If the doctor had been in the same position of Jeff Tracy, even he'd have to admit that this was a lot to take in. However, then the moment was over and it was time to get back down to business.
"Now, , it would most likely be best if Alan had someone sit with him during his chemo-treatments, I have found that other patients have found that it takes their mind off of the things if they had someone to keep them company. I understand that this is a lot to take in and comprehend at the moment and with that being said, the talk of treatment plans and actual medicine he will have to begin taking can wait until the morning, however I would have to extremely advice that we do not wait beyond that point."
Jeff nodded in agreement and finally looked up, "Is there a way that I could make a phone call home, to my other sons, I know that they will want to be here for their youngest brother during this time of need"
The doctor nodded and pointed him to the outgoing phone and left the room to leave them in privacy and for the night, leaving behind a final message of nurses who would be making rounds during the night to check in on Alan. With Jeff's nod the doctor bid him good night.
Reaching over, being careful to mind his sleeping blonde bundle, he reached for the phone and called home. Now came the second hardest part, finding a way to tell his four oldest sons that their youngest brother was sick.
Very sick.
"Dad how is he?"
Jeff took a breath, Scott could practically feel it.
"Dad?"
"Scott...Scottie are your brothers in the room? John there?"
Scott frowned, what was going on. John, Virgil, and Gordon both voiced their own forms of 'Yes I'm here' over the phone line.
"What was the verdict dad?"
"What's sprout contracted?"
"Dad, what's wrong?"
Over the phone line they could hear the intake of breath, and the choke, as their dad finally told them the news. The news that would change their lives forever, the news that would haunt them for the rest of their lives.
"Boys... Boys you need to come to UMass as soon as you can, Virgil and Gordon go up and bring John down, we need you here, Alan needs you here"
There was silence, they would do anything for their youngest brother, anything (except provide bail money, John thought).
"Dad what's going on?"
"Alan...Allie...Oh god... Our baby has... He has leukemia"
At the word, Virgil and Gordon were running to get to Three, John was off to put Five on Standby for the time being and prepare to be there yesterday.
And the phone hit the floor with a loud crash.
The people in the waiting room looked up as the doors slid open with a hiss and four well dressed fine looking young men came running in. As one, the group came to a stop in front of the nurses desk in the waiting room where a young nurse sat, and she blushed at having the attention of all four on her.
"Tracy, Alan Tracy"
Many people in the waiting room perked up at the familiar name, and the power that the title held. One of them was here, in this hospital, as a patient. The young nurse made no movements for a moment, stunned at the smooth deep voice from the handsome man in front of her. However, when the young redheaded man slammed his open palm down on the desk and made a motion with his hand at the computer, the young women blushed deeply and began typing away.
"Is that with an 'I' or an 'Y'?"
The blonde man put his hand on the older dark haired man's arm, in an attempt to calm him, as he muttered something under his breath to him. Whatever it was that he said was never heard by any of the other rooms occupants, it was meant for only his ears and he was the only one who was privy to hear it. The light colored brunette man calmly leant forward and pointed at a name on the nurses computer.
"With a 'Y'."
The nurse nodded somewhat dumbly, still obviously stunned at the newcomers appearances. Taking a deep sigh, the readhead once again took his full attention.
"Room?"
The nurse fumbled for recovery of her lost common sense and failed miserably.
"R-Room 4-408"
They all nodded as one, making the nurse swoon silently, and they turned and ran for one of the elevators. She watched on baited breath as they all gathered inside to small crammed space and the door shut over their faces. She fanned herself with her hand as the true identity of those particularly good looking men came to the front of her mind.
A little ways off, a paramedic waiting on his partner to finish up in the restroom, turned to talk to one of the elderly well known nurses next to him.
"She new?"
"First day"
"Ahh.. Nice knowing her."
The elder nurse simply nodded in agreement.
Jeff and Alan both looked up at the soft knocking at the door. Nobody called to allow the person(s) entry, but the door opened anyway and a familiar head poked in.
Followed by three others.
"Scott!"
That was all the invitation they needed as the older four brothers of the Tracy family entered the room. Gordon shut the door behind him and joined his brothers on Alan's bed. It had taken them 3 and a half hours to officially get here, and in that time, it seemed that a lot had happened. In that short period of time, Alan's clothes had been exchanged for a hospital issue gown and his examination room exchanged for his permanent resident room. In his arm was an IV port.
"Oh, Allie"
Scott gently pulled Alan up and into his lap, as all four of them (not including Alan obviously) somehow managed to all fit onto the hospital bed. Alan wiggled around until he found a comfortable position in his biggest brothers lap and promptly fell asleep with his head laying softly on the strong but soft chest below him. Scott and John smiled at the sight, one they were accustom to seeing especailly during the wee hours of the night when everyone was supposed to be sleeping, but Alan was caught up and at 'em.
Gordon's hand eventually wound up in the youngsters blonde locks scratching softly at his scalp, when he had started to stiff in his peaceful looking sleep, knowing all too well that it was an easy way to calm down the mini blonde and send him back into dream land estates.
Virgil gently placed the back of his hand on Alan's forehead, frowning at the heat radiating off the flushed (and yet somehow still very pale) pasty skin.
"Dad?"
Jeff sighed as he finally let himself relax for the evening, falling into a chair that had been conveniently placed by the young teens bedside at some point in the day. Running a hand over his face before raising and running it through his hair, something he did when he was clearly worried about something. Not that any of them (who had all somehow found a way to be physically touching the sick teen in their grasp) would ever say anything about it, this would surely be a trying time for all of them. But they would pull through, they always would, together, as a family.
It was a long time before Jeff even acknowledged Virgil's question, and nobody pushed him.
"He still has a high fever, the medicine that they gave him will help bring it down to a more controllable level. Unfortunately, Scott, John, one of the side affects is sleeping and let me tell you that he is still a force to reckon with. If he doesn't want to be put down or moved, then he won't be."
Despite the situation, it was still somewhat heart warming to hear that Alan was still Alan (if not a more sick and fighting version but Alan none the less) and they couldn't help but hope that he would remain himself throughout this whole trial and process, for his sake.
"We didn't know what to bring, besides our over night bags, so Kyrano wanted me to pass along that he would send stuff over in the morning as soon as he can"
"When does his regimen start?"
Leave it to Virgil to ask the important questions.
"Tomorrow, after noon," Jeff was silent for a minute and it looked like he was fighting back more tears (no one commented on it), "The Doctor says that it would be okay if one of you go with him, says that patients find it easier to deal with it when they're not alone and have someone to pass the time with. Only one can accompany him, and who is up to your brother. He has not chosen someone yet, but I have no doubts that he will say in the morning"
And with that silence filled the room once more.
Alan squeezed John's hand tightly as the medicine started to flow into his veins, burning at first. John squeezed his hand back, signaling that he was still there and wasn't planning on going anywhere for the next few hours to come.
The others had been a little put out that Alan had picked John flat out. But his reasoning made sense, they were more 'act on instinct' and 'take out threat first', when John was more 'listen to you' and 'not so violent and super protective' he had his moments but he was more subtle about them.
Alan hissed.
"Its ok Allie"
His attention was turned back to his brother, as his thumb started rubbing soft soothing circles on the back of his hand.
"Talk to me kiddo! Did you see-"
And, so, for his first time in his job as the Chemotherapy technician, the nurse walked in to check on his patient only to find him and his brother in a deep debate on black holes and their uses.
"No, Alan, they are not holes in time were someone such as Spock senior will come out to save the universe"
"It could happen John, it could happen"
"No Allie, it can't"
"How would you know, you never came out of a black hold/ time and space hole, have you Johnny?"
He left and they became silent again.
"John, I'm scared"
John looked at him in brief surprise for a moment, before his eyes softened and he grasped Alan's a tad tighter for a moment to get his message across.
"Al, its ok to be scared, you'd be crazy not to be," He took a breath, "But you won't have to be strong all the time and you will never be alone. We will fight this together. You, me, Scott, Virg, Gordo, Dad, and everyone else back home."
"But, Johnny, what if I do die? I don't want to die Johnny! I don't want to be alone"
There was never a time in his life that John Tracy wanted nothing more then the hold a person then right now.
"Oh Allie, you will never be alone, never ever never. If it is your time to go then we will miss you greatly but we live knowing that you are safe with mom again. But most importantly, you will not be alone, all of us will be right here at your side through this whole thing."
That seemed to satisfy Alan for the time being.
Alan glared at Virgil, Gordon, and the hair shaver that the elder held in hand.
"No"
"Al"
"Its all I have left Virg, I can't lose the one thing that keeps me being me ok"
Virgil's brows furrowed, finally understanding Alan's out right refusal to let them shave his head into at least a buzz cut. Alan had been taking a shower and rinsing out the shampoo on his head when he had pulled his hands away and found clumps of hair trapped on his hands and in between his fingers. He had gave a shout in a fit of emotion and thrown the shower chair from the shower itself. Virgil and Gordon had run in at the sound of the crash, fearing that Alan had collapsed, only to find him huddled in the shower sobbing as his hair washed off his hands in chunks down the drain.
They had turned off the water and helped him out of the water and dried him enough that they were able to get him into some dry warm clothes and back into his bed. Gordon had simply held onto him as he lost it and balled his eyes out in his brothers chest, going as far as to grasp the front of Gordon's shirt so tight that his knuckles went white. While Virgil had left to get something. Only to return with the hair razor and had asked if he could buzz cut him.
Alan had down right refused, and now they understood why.
However, it was Gordon who gave the response, that even left Virgil somewhat speechless.
"Allie, you will always be you. You could lose you hair or even a limb, but you will always be you. That it something that they can never take from you. This disease and the medicine, it will always try and take charge of you, but if you do one thing such as shaving your head before it can take it away from you, then it would be because you chose to do so, not because it took it from you,but because you decided to"
In the end, Alan let them shave his head into a short Mohawk
Alan was restless, the chemo treatments made it hard for him to fall asleep and the lack of rest was starting to affect his personality.
Throughout the ward, Alan had become know as being the one kid that had leukemia and yet still tried as hard as he might to act as a normal teenager would. He was carefree, somewhat happy (he had his days though), always cracking jokes, and generally a good time. Except now.
Scott had walked in after one of the new nurses ran out of Alan's room crying her eyes out. He'd walked in and immediantly become aware that Alan was simply running on fumes by now, not rested and generally a cranky person in need of a nap.
But that didn't excuse his behavior.
"Al, come on buddy, we're gonna get the nurse back in here and your gonna apologize."
"No"
They locked eyes in a stare down. Neither won as neither lost. Continuing to hold his youngest brothers stare, Scott made his way to the bed side and gently nudged him.
"Come on, scoot"
Alan grumbled under his breath some not so nice things. Scott chuckled under his breath.
"Watch it buster"
But his words held no venom as the elder brother gathered the youngest brother in his arms and surprised the nurses (much to the family's amusement) in his one and only attempt at getting Alan to sleep, and getting it down in less the two minutes. Alan rubbed the back of his IVless hand across his eyes and laid his head upon his brothers chest, falling into slumber a mere moment later.
A total of two and a half years later found Jeff and Alan back inside the doctors personal office.
Tears were shed once more, but this time for a different reason.
After a long two and a half trying and hard three years, Alan was in health once more, his Leukemia in remission.
This time the family shed tears of joy.
So.. Im not really sure where this came from nor if it makes much sense, but I hope you like it none the less!