On Tuesday, Mr. Skywalker greets her with a smile and with news that pours like boiling tar onto Rey. She can't breathe and she's burning and she can't move.
"Hey, Rey," Mr. Skywalker says, crossing his arms. "Artoo's out sick today."
"Okay."
"And I don't really have time to supervise you, so Mr. Snoke said he has some things for you to do. He also said he'd tell you more about your grandfather." Luke claps her on the shoulder as if this is a gift he's giving her, not a flashback come to life, not raw panic clambering up her throat, not frantic fingers shredding her jeans, her top.
And somehow she feels like Mr. Skywalker should know better, like he should protect her, and instead he's offering her up.
"Rey?"
"Um—I'm—" Rey stammers. Cold hatred suddenly washes over her, frightening her with its intensity. Betrayal scrapes and leaves her bleeding.
"Miss Kenobi!" Mr. Snoke calls, appearing behind her. "I don't need you for long. I just want to you edit a presentation."
Say no. Say you're sick.
But if she does, she knows who he'll take it out on, and it's not her.
"Fine," Rey snaps, folding her arms over her chest as she stalks after the principal. Ben would be furious.
"Here." Snoke directs her to a swivel chair in faded red, a powerpoint advertising the school already pulled up. A quirky paperweight in the shape of what looks like an alien and pots of fake flowers, crimson and yellow and violent orange, cover the desk. Rey works fast, her fingers flying and pounding edits with a fury. She imagines she's stabbing Unkar Plutt's eyes. Snoke's eyes.
"Miss Kenobi," Snoke says at last. "I did want to speak with you about what I observed between you and Mr. Solo on the quad on Saturday."
"What?" Rey's fingers freeze. Her knuckles ache.
"You know it's against the rules."
"Everyone on campus was probably making out, or worse," Rey states, fire surging through her veins as she glares at Snoke. I know what you did. I know what you are, you monster.
"I think you were doing a bit more than making out." Snoke comes closer, and Rey feels trapped, as if her own skin is closing around her and she can't move.
"I saw," Snoke murmurs, his hand clutching her shoulder and moving down. "What you let that boy do to you."
Don't pretend you're a virgin, Unkar had scoffed.
Not again.
The tethers holding her back snap, and Rey leaps out of her chair, kicking Snoke in his gaunt gut. "Get away from me!"
Snoke gasps as her foot collides with his stomach, and he stumbles backwards, his head whacking against the chestnut bookcase.
"Oh my God," Rey whimpers, her hands over her mouth. She's afraid to go near him. She's afraid to move.
She pulls out her phone and texts Ben, waiting for someone, anyone who heard, to come in.
I'm in Snoke's office pls come now
Snoke's?
Ben darts down towards the office from the library, heart in his throat. Is Snoke harassing Rey? Does Snoke even like girls?
Ben bursts into the principal's office to find Rey standing behind the desk, face green and her hands shaking.
And Snoke is crumpled on the floor.
"He tried to—he grabbed me—he was going to—" Rey covers her mouth and retches.
"Oh my God." Ben rushes towards her. "Did he—"
"I kicked him," she explains. "He put his hands down my shirt. I kicked him. And he fell. Is he dead?"
Ben doesn't want to look at this man's face anymore, but Rey's eyes fill with tears and she's shaking like a leaf. Ben drops to his knees and holds his hand out over Snoke's nostrils. "No, he's alive."
"Thank God." Rey starts to cry. "They're going to put me in jail, Ben. They are. It's my word against his."
"You were defending yourself." Which he admires. "I'll back you up."
"You weren't here though!"
Ben's chest hurts. His lungs quiver. "You didn't mean to hurt him—"
"I don't know," Rey whispers. "Not that badly, no, but—maybe I did. Somewhat." Her breath comes in quick gasps. "I'm so scared. I want to get out of here."
"We can go to my uncle—"
"No we can't!" Rey cries. "He's the one who told me to work with Snoke today!"
There's no one they can trust. Ben clutches Rey's shoulders. "What do you want to do?"
"I want to get out of here," she says, eyes running as she looks up at him. "I want to get out of this school. I don't want to go to jail, Ben, I can't."
"You're going to run away?"
"Give me an hour before you let anyone know?"
Ben shakes his head, his mind tumbling ahead. "I'm going with you."
"What?"
"Go pack your backpack," Ben instructs her, adrenaline surging as he steps in front of Snoke's unconscious body. "Fast. I'll meet you outside of the loose fence in the parking lot. Hurry."
She nods and kisses him, just for a moment, before scurrying out of the room. Ben runs too, dashing towards his dorm. Hux isn't in. Good. He stuffs underwear, black jeans, his hoodie, his eyeliner in his bag. His passport, too. Running into the bathroom, he grabs his toothbrush and shampoo.
"Going somewhere?" Finn asks.
"Shit!" Ben jumps.
Finn's eyes dart from Ben's frantic face to the stuffed bag in his hands. "What's going on?"
"Can I trust you?" Ben demands, hoping he can. Because he doesn't trust anyone, not really, except Rey, and now he needs to.
"Yes," Finn says slowly.
"Rey and I are running away."
"What?" Finn gapes at him. "You can't be—"
"It's true," Ben says. "We have to—Finn—Snoke tried to rape Rey, okay? He's been raping me for years. I've had enough. I can't—"
Finn's face starts to drain. "Did you do something to Snoke?"
"He's alive," Ben says quickly. "He tried to—hurt Rey. He's hurt now. Unconscious. They'll put us in jail, Finn. We have to get out of here. Yes, I hurt him." He's lying, and he doesn't care. Maybe when they put out an APB for them, they'll put it out for him, not for Rey.
"Jesus," Finn ekes out. "They'll find you—they will—"
"I don't care!" They can get to a city, maybe, and disappear…
"Where are you gonna go?" Finn yells at him. "Huh? Where are you and Rey going to—"
"I don't know! I have money for a taxi, we can figure it out—"
Finn shakes his head. "Keep your phone on you," he says, thumping Ben on the chest. "At least for now. Please. Let me help you." He meets Ben's eyes, and Ben sees another reflection of himself, of Rey, of a kid who's lost and floundering, but who maybe has something more to hold on to than he and Rey do.
"You could get expelled if you help us. Or worse," Ben warns him, remembering what he knows of Finn's history.
"I'm your friend," Finn says. "I might be repeating the same damn mistake as last year, but it's not for the same reason. I know you like me. I know you and Rey are my friends. I'm not trying to earn anything. I'm trying to give you something." He grabs Ben's conditioner and shoves it in Ben's bag. "Take care of her. And Poe and I will take care of things here. Work things out. We won't let you go to jail."
"Luke Skywalker!"
"What happened?" Luke leaps to his feet as Snoke staggers in, clutching his head.
"The Kenobi girl attacked me!"
"What?" The words don't compute. Luke shakes his head.
"She attacked me! Call Dr. Kalonia—and call security!" Snoke waves his hand in fury.
"She attacked you? Why?"
"I don't know!" Snoke groans and slumps into Luke's chair. "I woke up on the floor, and she was gone. I knew that girl was trouble—"
"I'll call Dr. Kalonia," Luke says quickly, even as his mind skitters ahead. Could Rey really have taken down Snoke on her own? And why would she want to?
The possible answers all center on one person: his nephew.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jess whispers.
Snap shakes his head. "I can't believe Ben did that."
Finn told Poe earlier all of what Ben had said, but he hasn't mentioned that Snoke raped Ben to the others. But they deserve to know where Ben and Rey are, even if the answer is simply "somewhere away from here."
"We can't tell on them," Beebee-Ate says.
"Of course not." Poe stands. "You guys need to go. All of you. I mean, Snap and Finn can stay, but it'll look suspicious if we're all here together."
"Right." Jess nods. "You have to text me, though."
"And me," Beebee-Ate adds.
"We will," Finn promises as their friends scatter.
"How are we gonna help them?" Snap wonders.
"Leave that to me," Poe says grimly as Threepio rings the dorm bell.
"Shit," Finn breathes, clutching Poe's hand as they wait for their dorm parent to come around.
"Finn, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to return to your room," Threepio says apologetically. "We're on lockdown, and I must account for all my students."
Finn exchanges a glance with Poe.
"I'll take care of it," Poe mutters in Finn's ear. "Text me."
Finn nods and leaves.
The moment the door slams shut, Poe dials Rey.
"Poe?"
"Hey," he says. "Snoke's okay. Well, pissed off, and they're searching the school grounds. We're on lockdown."
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean—"
"Hey, listen, it's fine," Poe insists. "Where are you guys headed?"
"We don't—"
"Well, give me a city name or something. I'll book you a decent hotel."
"You can't do that!"
Bitterness rises in Poe's throat. "Yes, I can. I have a credit card. Give me a city name, any name." Or, more accurately, his father has a credit card that Poe's mother gave him all the information for "in case of an emergency," not that he's ever used it before.
But he's using it now, and damned if the man who hasn't called him once this semester will even fucking notice.
Ben says something in the background. "Naboo," Rey tells Poe. "That's where we're going."
"Okay." Poe googles for hotels in Naboo. "How fancy do you want?"
"We're kind of trying to stay under the radar, Poe."
"Oh right." So no five stars. Four stars, on the other hand… They deserve a decent place.
Within the hour, Mr. Skywalker shows up at their room. "When's the last time you heard from my nephew or Rey?"
"Last period," Poe lies. He's deleted the call from his phone, and the hotel is booked.
"Really?" Mr. Skywalker crosses his arms and studies Poe.
"Yes. Really," Poe says, looking him straight in the eye and only feeling the slightest twinge of guilt.
"What's happening?" Snap asks innocently.
"Threepio will call a meeting for you all as a dorm," Mr. Skywalker says, his face graying as he turns on his heel and stalks away.
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Poe says to Snap, who nods.
"I can't believe Poe did this for us," Ben says as they leave the front desk of a decent hotel, by no means fancy but by every means comfortable, room key in hand.
"Neither can I," Rey mutters as they get into an elevator. "I've never been in a hotel before."
"Really?" Ben stares at her, and she shrugs.
"They're going to find us," she says aloud, examining her nails. Chips appear along the edges of the manicure.
"I know."
"Do you think I'm an awful person?"
"How can you even think I would?" Ben demands, facing her and blinking as if hurt. "You're—Rey. You're so much—you didn't do anything wrong."
"It doesn't work like that, does it?" she asks as the elevator dings on the third floor and they get off. "I feel guilty."
"I know," he says, voice soft, and Rey knows he does.
"Oh my God," Rey says as they enter the room and Ben flicks the light switch on. "We have two beds?" Both covered in deep red quilts and crowned with fluffy white pillows. Rey kicks off her shoes and throws herself down on one. She could cry a liter into these pillows and still not soak one.
Ben laughs. "One for each of us."
"Really?" Rey asks, sitting up and resting on her elbow.
His face turns red. "Well—I mean—"
She crawls off the bed and stands, pulling his head down to kiss him. Their mouths meld together, and Rey tries to push Snoke out of her mind, forget about all of it.
You didn't do anything wrong, his voice knocks from the back of her mind.
Maybe she was wrong to kick Snoke, but no, she wasn't wrong to fight back. She couldn't let Snoke steal from her what Unkar stole, steal from her like he stole from Ben. I'm more than that.
So is Ben.
Tomorrow, she might need to face the music. But not for tonight.
"I love you," he tells her.
He really does, Rey knows. Ben loves her. He knows everything and she knows everything and they're both still here, mouths locked, still alive and still whole. She wraps her arm around him. Her fingers dig into his skin and he presses deeper into her mouth. One arm wraps around her waist. The other hand strokes her chest, and all the things she's been afraid of—that Unkar and Snoke had ruined part of her life, her experience, forever—it's not true. It won't be true.
"You can take my shirt off," she murmurs in Ben's ear.
He pulls away, a slight smirk across his face. "I did pack condoms."
"Oh good." She opens her mouth again, drinking from him and pouring herself into him. Her shirt hits the floor. Her fingers pull his over his head. Her lips graze his chest, and his arms wrap around her and then she's on her back, on top of the bed, heart beating, alive, and Ben's hands are on her chest, taking off her bra and then casting it to the side. He cups her breasts and kisses them.
What do I do now? Ben meets her eyes and smiles, and she almost laughs as if they're thinking the same thing. She doesn't know what she's doing any more than he does. It doesn't matter.
He's hovering over her and she wants to know, wants both of them to make their own choices. And she's making hers. Rey reaches up and unbuttons his jeans.
He pulls back and fumbles for the condom. His fingers graze her belly as he pulls down her pants, and then her underwear. She wonders if he's ever seen a girl naked before—no, she knows he hasn't, and he's kissing her again.
I love you, he told her, she remembers.
And I love you, she thinks. Their mouths meld together as her heart picks up pace and her body starts to ache.
"Are you ready?" she asks.
"Yeah." He brushes the side of her cheek. She sucks in her breath—why? There's no reason—and then breathes out.
Rey's breaths comes in quick gasps as their hips rock together, awkwardly at first and then find a rhythm. She squeezes her eyes shut. He slows.
Her eyes fly open. Am I that bad at this? "What are you doing?"
"Are you okay?" His bangs are strewn around his face, and Rey starts to laugh.
"I'm good." She pulls him closer and arches her hips back up to meet his. This time, she watches his face as his clenched jaw relaxes, as he stops thinking about the mechanics and focuses on her. He leans down and nibbles at the nape of her neck.
Her muscles start to clench and release and she gasps out loud, echoing his own moan. She's shivering and he's shaking and they're holding each other.
When they both finish, Rey's mind still swirling, Ben rolls off her and presses his face against her chest, and she feels like she's about to burst. She's alive and triumphant and she leans her forehead against his, tilting his face up to look into his eyes and seeing something she's never seen in anyone's eyes, not for her. And she wants to say it.
"I love you," Rey says as his fingers twist a tendril of her hair.
He smiles at her, this boy who she really feels knows all of her. "I know."