Something that came to mind whilst surfing Spotify.

Every breath that you take has meaning

You are here for a reason

-Ashes Remain

They say that one never truly knows what they have, until they lose it all. Until it gets taken from you without so much as a warning, with out a say in the matter.

Alan had always been the Tracy baby, the youngest, the protected. But in their need to protect the youngest of them, the Tracy family did the one thing that a family should never do. The family of rescuers put that youngest member on the back burner.

In order to keep him from the cruel reality of the rescues they faced they pushed him away, and inevitably they forgot about him.

To keep him innocent and keep his questions silenced they ignored him and teased him into silence.

Alan Tracy was needed more by his family then they even knew, and they didn't even realize it until it was too late.

It had been a somewhat calm day when John had gotten the call from Alan's school. At seeing the number of the headmaster the elder blonde man frowned, his mind automatically going over a mental checklist of what his youngest brother could have done now. Scott had mentioned earlier about calling the sprout, and it seemed as if the headmaster was returning the youngsters missed call.

"Hello, is this a... Mr. John Tracy?"

John frowned at the elderly voice of the women that worked as the headmasters secretary. His mental checklist went blank at her voice, because if there was ever really a problem (or Alan got into some sort of trouble) the head master was the one who called, personally.

"Yes this is him, how can I be of assistance to you Mam?"

There was a pause.

"I am sorry, I could not reach your father," John of course knew this for him and the others were finishing up over in Chile at the moment and Dad didn't answer personal calls while out on rescues and none of them knew how much this little detail was about to change their lives. Forever.

"Is something wrong?"

"There's been an accident Dear, I wish I could tell your father first, however I do believe that someone should know"

"What are you talking about?"

All formalities were gone now, this was all business.

"The track team went out of state for a meet, dear the bus got into an accident. It was not good."

Alan was on the track team. He had been trying to tell them about this meet for some time now, but they had all said they had been too busy or something had come up.

"Mam?"

"John, dear, I'm so sorry, but your brother, Alan, he was on that bus-"

The blonde Tracy's world froze. He couldn't breath, he couldn't move, everything was wrong.

"Dear, he never made it to the hospital, they need someone to come iden-"

John found his voice, a bit shakier then he liked it to be. He felt dead inside, he felt empty. Alan, not him, anyone but him. He was the life of their family. The light the lead them from the darkness of the rescue business.

"We will be there in an hour"

The woman thanked him, gave her condolences, and hung up.

It took him a moment to move, a moment to draw in a breath. A moment to live once more. Alan. Not Alan. As John opened the line and called out to Dad he couldn't help but think about something Fermat had said after the last track meet that they had promised to be at but never made it to. The last time that they had actually seen Alan (even if it was on a video call as an after thought).

This isn't the first time that you guys forgot about Alan, and it won't be the last time either, I just wish that you knew what you had before it gets taken from you because you never really know it until you lose it.

"John what is it? This is meant to be for em-"

"Dad, its about Alan"

Jeff Tracy, for the first time since his wife had died, cried.

He sobbed.

Scott was numb, and he couldn't breath.

Why couldn't he seem to be able to pull in the much needed air?

For the first time in a very long time, Scott Tracy found himself utterly helpless.

And the one thing that was in motion was the thoughts in his mind, the last thing that he had said to Alan.

I have to go Sprout, call ya back

He never called him back.

And now he'd never get the chance.

Virgil was empty. It was like his entire life force had been sucked away.

It was like the world had swallowed him whole.

And, much like his father, he found himself huddled in Thunderbird Two, sobbing.

Gordon was cold.

And alone.

And very very sad.

There was no more 'Terrible Two', no more partners in crime.

And he felt like a part of him was missing, like he was no longer a whole being, but what was left without his other half.

It was a cold, rainy Sunday when they had buried the sleek shiny black coffin into the lot next to the stone that read 'Lucille Tracy'. And it was on that day, that cold rainy Sunday, that the Tracy family broke into a million pieces.

It was the day that International Rescue shut down for good.

And the day that the Tracy's fell apart, from the inside out.

Jeff was a shell of the man he used to be, on most days, he found him self sitting in the middle of his youngest son's room.

Sobbing.

Scott took his final flight, away from the island, and to the main land. He could never stand to see the sight of a rocket or air craft anymore, not when Alan had loved them as much as he had. Scott had never taken the kid on the ride in Thunderbird One like he had promised to do.

He had always been too busy.

John tore all his star maps from his walls. He refused to even think about Five. In a fit of rage he had broken all of his telescopes. The night sky just wasn't them same any more. At one point it had been their thing, him and Alan, but now it was empty.

Now they were nothing but little balls of gas.

Virgil refused to play on the piano, even went as far as moving to the other side of the island. He broke and burnt his paintings. Alan had always been most of their inspiration. It was like everything that he ever was, got sucked away in a single moment, in a single breath.

Every now and then he would pick up his pencil, and all that he would sketch out was Alan's smiling face, or something that reminded him of his lost baby brother.

Gordon was solemn. Not finding the world funny any longer. He didn't prank any one anymore, it had been the 'Terrible Two's' thing. He hadn't laughed since that Sunday.

The world was a cold place now, cold and empty.

As the years went by, they all eventually drifted apart.

No one had hear from Scott since that fateful day.

Virgil all but disappeared, followed by John.

Then Gordon left, unable to stay in the same home that Alan would never return to.

Never to hear his laugh again, or his sarcastic remarks when he'd come in from being down at the beach. Never seeing him crashed out on the couch, sound asleep.

And so, Jeff Tracy was left all alone on his island home, a shell of the man he once was. His entire life was gone, Alan was never coming back and with him he took the life of the Tracy family.

John awoke with a start, his heart thumping in his chest, sweat beading up on his forehead.

Wiping a hand through his hair and then down his face, John climbed out of bed and made his way to the monitors. Sneaking a glance at the clock, eyes momentarily locking on the blinking 1:34 he reconsidered what he was about to do.

But then his mind went back to the dream he just had, and he pushed a button and Alan's comm. came to life.

"Johnny? Why are you calling me at... One in the morning?"

John smiled at hearing his baby brothers voice, the exasperated, tired, but still chipper voice that Alan could only seem to possess.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok blondie"

Alan sat up on his elbow for a moment, "Johnny? Are you ok? The guys? Dad?"

"Everyones fine bud, sorry to bother you", John literally felt himself deflate in relief as the realization hit him that it had only been a terrible nightmare, "Hey buddy, we're gonna be on the same rotation for Summer Break, we should do something. Just me, you, and the guys."

"I'm there dude! But, like, can we discuss details about it in the morning. Err or later on this morning?"

John chuckled, "Sure thing Allie, sleep tight squirt"

"Back at ya old man"

And with that heartfelt good-bye, Alan logged off. John smiled softly to himself as he made his way back to his bunk.

It had only been a dream.

Soo? Kind of darker then usual. I know!