A/N Another Love - Tom Odell
11.
The days go by slowly, and all I do is.. well.. nothing. Now I don't have to go to school anymore, and our stomachs never empty, there is not much to do for me. Though I do occasionally go hunting to clear my mind. Gale has somewhat forgiven me, and we began hunting together again. Prim was as joyful as she possible could be to have me back. Peeta and I are not really on speaking terms, but we act friendly to each other. Prim told me our mother took good care of her when I was gone. And Madge.. Madge is still mad at me.
There are days I get mad at her too. I mean, I did it to survive! For her! But then, I look at it from her perspective, and I perfectly understand why she's angry at me. I quickly go outside, planning on maybe visit the Hob, walk around the square, buy something for Prim. When I enter the square, I freeze in place. I see a too familiar blonde girl just coming out of the bakery. My heart starts racing while I try to think of something to do.
Walk up to her? Ignore her? I decide to go up to her, since she won't hit me in a public place. Or so I hope. My heart is beating faster with every step I take. I tap her shoulder and she slowly turns around. When her eyes lock on me, I can see a wall going up. I can see she is putting up a mask. ''Have a walk with me?'' I ask. She shrugs and I take her to the meadow.
''What is it,'' she asks me sighing. I take a deep breath before talking. ''I'm.. I'm sorry, Madge. I really am. But you need to know the truth from my side, please promise me you'll listen,'' I beg her. She looks at me, quite unconvinced, but then nods, as a sign that I can continue. ''Peeta's love confessions.. I didn't know about them, I was just as stunned as you were. It was all a trick, made up by Haymitch to get us both out, alive. And.. And yes, during the Games, there were moments that I wasn't sure if he was acting or not. Not sure about my own feelings..''
I can see the pain flicker in her eyes, and notice that she is slipping away from me. I can't let that happen. ''But I thought of you, Madge. All the time. It was always you.'' My grey eyes find her blue ones. She still looks uncertain. I decide to risk it and grab her hand, which feels stiff between mines. ''Madge, I can't promise you everything anymore. I can't. I don't know what will happen now, but Snow is mad at me for showing him off with those berries. I will have to act as if Peeta is my boyfriend, as if he is my life. But he will never weigh you out, Madge. If I could, I would've given you the world. I would've given you my all. But I can't, and I'm so, so sorry.''
She looks down for a moment, and I can feel pressure behind my eyes. Did I really lose her now?
I expect her to pull away from me, walk out of my life. But instead she pulls me towards her and embraces me. I hold her tightly against me, as if I'm afraid she'll run away any second now. She doesn't say anything. But wasn't that what bonded us? We don't need words. Our silence says enough.
I finally get to smell her delicious scent again, and god does she feel good. Though I had countless hugs with Peeta, non can compare to this. This hug, that speaks millions of words at the same time. I'm sorry. I missed you. I need you. I love you.
When we let go of each other, I take her hand and take her to the square. I buy some sweets, and together we sit on a bench in the sun, eating little mints. ''Shouldn't you be in school?'' I ask. She shrugs and pops another mint in her mouth. ''Didn't feel like it,'' she answers. I put the bag of mints away and take her hand, kissing it softly. She smiles and looks down again.
She does that a lot. Looking down. Maybe so I can't see her emotions. I take her chin and softly push her head up so we're looking at each other. Her skin feels like satin. They made me look beautiful at the Capitol with millions of creams and brushes and make up.
Madge doesn't need any of this. She already looks like an angel.
''What are you thinking about?'' she asks me. ''Nothing,'' I reply with a tiny smile.
We sit there, the whole afternoon, enjoying the sun. When it starts to cool down, we know we both need to go home. I walk her to her house, holding her hand as we do.
''See you again sometime?'' I ask carefully. She smiles and nods. ''Of course.'' And then, she kisses me. And I feel like I'm in heaven. I have gone too long without her soft, pink lips, which perfectly fit mine. I missed how she tastes, even almost forgot.
Right now, she mostly tastes of mint. It's amazingly refreshing. I cup her face with my hands and she put hers on my back. This hug. This kiss. They both tell me something very important.
No matter what happens, it will always be Madge. Always. No matter how hard it may get.