Assistance for the Blizzard

It's not that Akagi avoids the war memorial. It's just that, to her, the memorial isn't personal. As a monument to all those, both civilian and service personnel lost in the line of duty over the last decade and a half, it just doesn't carry as much of a truly personal meaning or connection as somewhere like the hill. Daisuke doesn't begrudge her for that.

For Daisuke the base's obelisk-like memorial cenotaph is still just a hunk of rock as well (and a bit of an easily overlooked one at that), but it admittedly does have a little bit more meaning to him since with his ever-changing schedule he rarely has time to visit Haruki's grave (or even the hill), never mind the graves of so many other good men and women he knew, that made the ultimate sacrifice doing their duty in those desperate early years of the war.

Despite almost a decade and a half of experience working with kanmusu, Daisuke doesn't think of himself as being particularly religious or spiritual. Well, at least not in terms of humanity. If there's one thing he's decided upon after all these years of endlessly fighting Abyssals, it's that if there is some kind of god, pantheon of higher beings, or dictator of fate in general, it's a fucking asshole. Of course, if there's one thing he grudgingly admits he is, it's ruminative and melancholic.

He doesn't make a habit of it, but sometimes it feels right just to stop by the memorial on the odd occasion and pay his respects. Sometimes it's memories of someone or some group in particular that brings him to it. Other times it's the anniversary of something, and the fact that they're putting on documentary specials for these things just feels so damn cognitively dissonant when he still remembers them like yesterday, but there's now an entire generation growing up that weren't even born when some of these actions took place. Sometimes though, the simple thought strikes him just to pass by for no particular reason at the end of the day.

It's more of the latter reason that brings him back on this particular evening. It's kind of a shitty excuse, but sometimes after really trying days, it's a nice spot just to wool-gather and sort out his thoughts. No-one ever interrupts a person, especially one of his rank, at the memorial.

Much to his surprise however, there is someone else at the white stone monument, despite the lateness of the evening and the sunset tinged sky.

"A-Admiral!"

Returning his niece's surprised and nervous salute, Daisuke signals for her to be at ease then regards her curiously out of the corner of his eye while facing the white stone in front of them. The last few weeks have definitely not been the relatively safe working up and acclimatisation period he and Akagi had originally been hoping for her to have, not helped by the fact that when she arrived she turned out to be much less experienced or even familiarised with her equipment and training than anyone realized (he was still trying to figure out exactly who's guts he wanted for garters over that mess, though the fact that it was his ire in particular that had been earned seemed to be speeding the process along nicely).

Originally the plan had been to stick her under Tenryuu and Tatsuta's protective wings, but a rather unfortunately timed sequence of events meant that they were needed on loan to Sasebo for convoy duty, and with the run up to Operation W there was no reason not to attach DesDiv.6 to other operations until they got back. Shiranui's destroyer division seemed like an option for a bit, but then, Kagerou already had enough girls underfoot to manage and look after, without worrying about having a totally green kanmusu to look after on the kinds of missions they went on. Akagi had also suggested attaching her to Taiho and making her a plane guard for a bit, but fears the Abyssals might be trying for a psyche-out this year by building up their real primary forces in the Aleutians and off the coast of Port Moresby while everyone focused on Wake, the Coral Sea and Midway for their historical significance, meant Taiho was currently in Okinawa while command and the USN tried to coordinate and sort out who was actually going to hit what. Kongou had been their other option, as while the sisters were often at the front, they could trust the British returnee to look after her, and the quartet usually only took along Destroyers on their smaller deployments just to serve as ASW escorts. Of course, then they had to be sent out as well.

He hated to admit it, but his niece had really only ended up with Mutsuki and Yuudachi because they were the only other kanmusu on base that were "spare", and not with some kind of deployment or mission immediately planned.

Of course, then Murphy's law and the demands of war promptly threw most of their hopes and plans out the window. Torpedo Squadron Three had to be thrown into a fight almost right off the bat and Akagi ended up having to bail her out of hot water on her first mission. She'd then ended up on the roster for Operation W (and what a nightmare that had been), and then finally there was her little assignment with Kongo at the Battlecruiser's request. While her last mission actually seemed to have done her some good, behind closed doors things had been somewhat frigid for the next few days between Kongo and Kaga over making Akagi fret like she had once she'd worked her daughter's damage report out of him. Sighing, Daisuke resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose with his subordinate/niece present.

Like father, like daughter he supposes. Then again, there is a world of difference between the kinds of things Haruki made their mother and himself worry about, and what Akagi and himself now have to agonize over every time he has to come up with an Operation plan or she takes a look at a mission roster in the morning.

The thought however, is distracted as he notices movement. Slowly, as if trying not to attract attention, his niece almost seems to be examining the white stone cenotaph for something. Seeing his curious gaze, she blushes and looks down in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I just thought... well, there are names here, so maybe..."

Her explanation trails off, tinged with disappointment as Daisuke connects the dots and then nods sadly with a knowing she probably misreads. Turning his own gaze to the silent stone as his niece goes back to fruitlessly looking for a family name he knows she won't find, he runs a hand over one particularly worn name on a different section of the cenotaph's surface.

He really wishes he could tell her. He'd always agreed to uphold Akagi's wish as long as she would be the one to eventually break the secret, but... There was a world of difference between knowing it would be up to Akagi, and the reality where he was now painfully stuck in the middle of; Torn in a three-way tug of war between his duties and responsibilities as an admiral, his instincts and feelings on family, and his promise as a "brother-in-law" and friend.

For someone who is so used to relying on being sound and confident in his choices and judgements once they're made, it's an uncomfortably foreign feeling to feel so conflicted over something.

Especially something like this.

"Admiral?"

Glancing to the side, he sees her gaze shift curiously from him to the faded kanji his fingers still rest upon.

"That's the same family name as yours..."

Her eyes widening as she realises the possible implications, Daisuke withdraws his hand, mentally kicking himself for being sentimental and getting caught so easily. Then again, it's not like this is a secret. Anybody that remembers or goes looking for the information would easily find out about Haruki's MIA status and eventual declaration of death.

Still Diasuke picks his next words carefully, settling on a half-lie masked by common knowledge.

"My brother. He died in the attack here fifteen years ago."

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

The fact that she does have every right to ask and know burns on Daisuke's conscience.

"Don't be. It was a long time ago anyway. Before..."

He catches himself, though thankfully she doesn't press further. Technically 'before you were born' is true considering her age but... Well, hopefully she just chalking his reluctance up to rawness of the loss he admittedly still feels after all this time.

Thankfully his niece just nods awkwardly, though it's obvious she doesn't quite know how to respond. As it turns out Daisuke isn't entirely sure what to say either. It appears, he soon theorises as they both hesitantly turn their attention back to the stone, that awkwardness is a family trait.

Eventually after another minute of uncertain silence, he figures he should probably get going. Reflecting once in a while can be good for the soul, but staring at a hunk of rock never got anyone anywhere.

"Well, I should get going. Carry on Fubuki."

Turning away, he then moves to leave, thoughts already turning to what to do once he gets back to his quarters. He may have clocked out of the office, but an Admiral's work is never done. There's a folder or two he needs to sort through and read by tomorrow morning, likely more emails to check by the time he's home, and then there's an international conference call he needs to still be up for at 2200. And he still needs to make dinner.

Even lost in thoughts of what to dig out of the freezer however, after a few steps, something makes him hesitate. In the back of his mind, the old, but far from rusty instinct that would often raise a flag whenever something was amiss with a crew member or kanmusu under his command makes itself known. Frowning to himself, Daisuke glances back in the direction of the memorial.

Though her back is to him and her face is towards the carved facade of the cenotaph, the slight tremble of her shoulders is unmistakable.

For a moment he hesitates, uncertain whether he should speak up or not.

The sound of a muffled sniffle decides the situation for him.

"Fubuki?"

She startles slightly at the sound of his voice and his returning footsteps, obviously having thought he'd left. Though she does her best to hide the movement, Daisuke also doesn't miss the quick attempt to wipe at her eyes as she turns around.

"Admiral! I didn't know you were still here."

There's a waver to her voice. One that leaves him feeling incredibly guilty and uncertain what to do.

"Fubuki? Is... everything alright?"

The instant the question leaves his mouth, Daisuke fells like inserting his foot into it instead. It's pretty fucking obvious what's wrong. But normally he prides himself on being direct and cutting to the chase. Bluntness is usually okay around the summoned girls, but truthfully he has no idea how to dance around an issue as insane and delicate as this, especially not when the girl in question is actually his niece, but she doesn't realise it, and he knows most of the answers to all the questions she doesn't even know she can ask.

Another series of sniffles snap him out of his cascade of thoughts, causing him to look down once more and see his niece blinking back another bunch of barely restrained tears.

"Hey, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

For once thankful of the fact that Kongou has been foisting handkerchiefs on to him for years out of some belief that every good officer should have one on the occasion a lady cries, as he produces one and kneels down, she finally gives up and hangs her head.

"I-I can't find them."

"Fubuki..."

What can he say? What can he tell her that isn't an outright lie or digging a hole somehow?

"I've looked and looked and I can't find anything and-"

A shuddering sob cuts her off and Daisuke uses the opportunity to dry the now freely running tears as best he can before a hiccup stops him.

"I-It's horrible but s-sometimes I almost hope I'll find their names on a K.I.A. list-"

The statement leaves Daisuke at a momentary loss for words.

"B-Because I'm not sure what would be worse... I-If they're dead, a-at least then I'd finally know... B-But if they're alive, then that means... Th-that means they..."

As she finally breaks down completely and Daisuke then does his best to awkwardly pull her into a comforting hug, internally all he knows is one thing.

That he officially feels like the biggest heel in the world.

This story is a collaborative effort between myself, Mashadarof402, lt_agn02, and Lord K. This Chapter was written by Lord K.