Chapter 2 Stay with me

English is not my first language, so please put up with my grammer mistakes, and I know nothing about medicine, all the conversations regarding med information are from wikipedia or the show, if there are mistakes please ignore them, thank you!

Disclaimer: GA and all characters belong to Shonda and ABC

Burke's POV

Blood was spreading all over the floor. I felt my hand smeared with her warm blood, endless blood. The world suddenly became silent to me, the only thing I could hear is the sound of blood flowing out of her body. I tried to stop the hematosis by compression, I tried to wipe off the blood flowing from her mouth, but it wouldn't work, her bleeding wouldn't stop. I'm gonna loose her? NO, I can't loose her. I can't live without her. I love her. " Cristina, stay with me, don't give up on me yet. Just stay with me..." Panic starts to spread all over my body, I can't stop my hands from shaking and trembling. At this moment, all the medical procedure I've learned from the past 20 years faded away. I can't think of anything to save the love of my life.

" Dr. Burke, Cristina! Get a gurney here! " Bailey shouted, started to examine the wounds on her chest. " Dr. Burke, is your arm alright? " " I'm fine, save her, I can't stop the bleeding. " " On my count, one, two, three, move! " We rushed Cristina onto the gurney and soon it is soaked with blood. " Page Chief Webber and Dr. Shepherd! We're going to pre-OP! People let's move! " Bailey stopped me ouside the pre-OP, " Dr. Burke, if you want us to save her, you can't go in. Take care of yourself now, just let Dr. Shepherd examine your GSW, okay? "

I didn't reply her, I can only feel weakness, I sit outside the pre-OP and stared at my hands, they are smeared with her blood.

" Burke, what happened? You're shaking and crying, who's in there? " Chief Webber rushed from the corridor.

" It's Cristina, she took a bullet for me, she might have a tear in her heart because I can't stop the bleeding, she..."

" Calm down, Burke. We will do our best to save her. Now wash your hands and wait here, ok? " He rushed into the room.

" Preston, what's going on? You're shot in the arm，let me take a look..." Shepherd came close

" No, I'm fine, I only have a through and through GSW to my right arm..."

Although there's a bullet that scratch through my shoulder too, but I don't care now, my privilege now is Cristina. " I just need you to go in and check on her, Derek." " Okay. "

Cristina's POV

where am I? Why can I see Bailey, Chief and Shepherd doing tests on me? I tried to touch them, to tell them I am right here, to tell them to take their time, but my hand went right through them, and no one seems to notice me. At that moment I realize that I am invisible to them, maybe I'm dead or dying. I can't die, not now, if I die from trying to save Burke, he will live in misery and guilt in the rest of his life. I want him to remember me for his entire life, but not in this way. I want him to love me, to cherish me, I wish I could be the love of his live to the extent that I don't dare to admit to myself that I love him. And this scares the crap out of me, because love is new thing to me, I've never been in a relationship before, the first time I fell for someone, that man who has an ex that he would shout her name in fear in his dream, that man who dumped me when I was about to tell him that I was pregnant, that man who is the opposite of myself and has different belief with me, that man who I don't even know he loves me or he only see me as a replacement for his ex-girlfriend. Still, I took a bullet for him, how stupid am I. I am no longer that almighty Cristina with an extreme edge and self-discipline, because I laid my heart in a man's palm. I can't die now, I have to fight for him. I have to prove that the man that caused me to loose my edge is worth it, I have to know that he can love me back as well.

" I need to do an echo on her, order a chest MRI to see the bleeding site, also order an angiogram to have a closer look for vessels. We need to get her into the OR as soon as possible, she's bleeding out. Who's her health proxy? " Bailey asked anxiously.

" After her miscarriage, she changed her medical power of attorney to Meredith. I remembered her files. " Chief replied

" Ok, page Dr. Grey 911! " Bailey ordered Olivia

Suddenly, the monitor beeped, I can see my heart flat-lined on ECG.

" Give me the paddles! " Shepherd shouted " Charge to 200, Clear! " No change. " Charge to 250, Clear! " My heart started to have a rhythm for seconds and remained flat-lined. " Charge to 300, Clear! " Still no response.

" Come on Cristina, you can't give up! The Cristina Yang I know will hold on to last minute, think of Burke, if you die from taking a bullet for him, he will hate himself for the rest of his life. Think of Meredith, she can't loose you, you're the only family she's left. Cristina, COME BACK! " The OR is extremely quiet right now. Shepherd is basically yelling now, I rarely see Mcdreamy like this, what an honor. This is so not about me, he must be thinking of Meredith right now. Great, I am a cardio god and now here I am, my body lying on the table and my soul being a ghost looking at my death, and I can't do anything to save myself from this misery. This is just great.

" We got a heart beat! " Olivia shouted with joy, the monitor stopped beeping.

" Oh, no, she has an aortic rupture, let's get her into the OR right now! " Chief barked the orders when looking at the echo and MRI.

The door opened and Meredith came in, watching me bleeding out on the gurney, she couldn't believe her eyes. " What happened to her? "

" Meredith, she got shot, she's having an aortic rupture, we need to do an emergency repair on her. You are her health proxy, I need you to sign the consent forms ASAP. Don't come in, just close the gallery, only you and Burke can watch from there. Are we clear? " Chief tried to calm her down.

" What? Aortic rupture? Where's Burke? He's the best, he should be operating on her. " Meredith rambled.

" No, you know why he can't. Besides he got shot in the arm as well. Just wait in the gallery." Shepherd answered before the Chief, gave Meredith a nod and they transferred me to the OR.

" I need two IV access on her, give her metroprolol and morphine. I am going to do a sternotomy on her. " Bailey ordered Olivia, her hands slightly shaking.

" Bailey, I know it is difficult for you. But you need to be strong to save her, you are her mentor, you trained her how to save lives, now it's your turn to save hers! We will do this together, you're not alone. " Chief tried to ease Bailey. She's always been a mama bear, protecting and mommy tracking us, strict but out of love.

" Listen, Cristina Yang, I've seen you on this table before, this is the second time. Do not let me see you the third time. You are not going to die, not on my watch. Tenth Blade!" Bailey tried her best to rationalize and began operating on me. Thank you Bailey, for always be there for me.

" Start the cardioplegic solution, we need to place her on bypass. " Shepherd ordered. " Don't worry, Cristina, you're going to sleep for a while and we're going to bring you back." He continued. Mcdreamy is really sensitive today, I've never been nice to him, but still he cares about me. He can make a good friend, although I never tell anybody that, but still not a good boyfriend, especially not good enough for Meredith.

" Oh, no no no... she has a dissection in her aortic valves as well. Get me prothetic valves! I need a hand to do the valve replacement so I can go on with the dacron graft on her aorta. " Bailey said with a panic-stricken voice.

" Shepherd, take over my place and help Bailey with the graft, I will do the valve replacement. " Chief made his dicision.

Beep, Beep, Beep-

" Damn it, I can't find the source of bleeding, she's crashing! " Bailey shouted

" Clamp the aorta! I have to defobillate her now, charge to 10 joules, clear! "

The monitor continued making the ominous sound.

" Charge to 20 joules, clear! " Still no change. Am I dying now? I looked at the gallery, Meredith's face was stricken with tears, she stared at the OR with her big grey eyes full of sorrows and desperation. Burke was vomitting in the nearby trash bin, seeing me naked and sliced open on the table must be hard for him. Well, at least I know now he cared about me a great deal, maybe he couldn't forget about his ex and love me back right away, but I have hope, right? I am not going to give up right now, I'm going to give our relationship another chance. I'm Cristina Yang, no man can resist my charm, no man will see me as an replacement. I can obtain his love one day, I will achieve his love one day. As I drifted away from my thought, I heard Meredith's voice through the speaker, " Cristina, don't give up right now, you can do this! I love you, I need you, I can't live without you, just think about me and stay with me! " Hearing her desperate voice made my heart sink. I stunned getting a hold of the other voice. It's Burke.

" Cristina, PLEASE, STAY WITH ME, I LOVE YOU, do you hear me, I LOVE YOU, so don't ever leave me..." He choked with tears. I feel like my body was stricken with lightening, like I have waited for this for ages.

" She's back! " Shepherd claimed. This time I felt a force dragging me back to my body, I realized I've come through this now, I'm gonna make it. I took one last look at Meredith and Burke in the gallery with relieved smiles on their face and drifted to sleep.