The Blizzard Awakens
"I'm sorry, but we have to send you away, little one," she said.
I could only stand there as she kissed my forehead and walked away.
"Wait, Mom…" I lunged forward, hoping I could catch up with her.
She turned around and smiled at me, yet the faster I ran, the farther away she became. "I'll always love you…"
"Mom! Don't leave me here!" I cried out to her.
With all the strength in my legs, I sprinted forward to catch up with the brown-haired woman I could only recognize as my mother. Shimakaze would certainly be jealous, if only my mother's stationary figure wasn't leaving as fast as I was running.
"Mom, please don't go!"
A pair of enormous gloved hands reached out from behind me, seizing my body in its tightening grip.
"Mom, help me! Mom, save me please!" I called out to her as the hands dragged me away from her.
"Mom!" I sobbed, trying to pry the fingers apart so I could run again. "Please don't leave me, mom…"
"Mom!" I yelled as I shot up from my bed, soaked in a river of sweat.
That nightmare again. Again. The word causes me to seize up and fall back onto my pillow. Ever since I became a ship girl, I haven't had that dream for a long time. Some first dream of the new year that was.
"Fubuki-chan, are you all right?" Mutsuki asked as she peeked into my bunk.
"I'm fine…just a bad dream," I responded. "I'll catch up with you guys later. I need a moment."
My red-haired friend nodded assent, leaving the room with Yuudachi.
That dream. I hate it. An amalgamation of my earliest memories, the exaggerations of REM sleep, and my own insecurities. Still, I haven't had it for quite some time, so I was probably overdue for it anyway.
At this point, my morning routine was simple: wake up, wash my face, brush my teeth, change my clothes, eat breakfast, find my parents, go for a run, and stand by for sortie. Simple. Today had a new target for the 'find my parents' step: the naval base hospital. I had already combed the files of the Yokosuka naval base's administrative building. The well of names I was faced with ran bone dry, as many personnel with the name "Yamashita" did not have a daughter named Yuki, did not have any children, or were obviously too young to have me as a daughter. The only reason I didn't look at the hospital first was practicality. Well, actually I did look at it first, but the staff there told me I needed permission due to patient confidentiality. I can understand that.
After trying the hospital when I first got here, I resorted to government records and personnel lists. I didn't want to bother the Commander with what may be to him a trivial pursuit in the grand scheme of things. If he may be, in fact, gung-ho about helping me, I don't want him to use his position as an admiral to find my parents. I would appreciate the help, but this is something I know I have to do on my own. Besides, he has the Abyssal Fleet to worry about, not me. Kongou-san and Houshou-san have been very supportive of me in this quest. Sometimes Houshou-san would treat me to some food or toss a few yen my way or give me a lap pillow. She really is the fleet's mother. If, by any chance, I fail at finding my parents, I wouldn't mind having her as a surrogate mother figure. I would say grandmother, but I know what happens when you bring up her age in front of her. Not a pretty sight. You should know that already, Yuudachi-chan. Kongou-san, on the other hand, was like a big sister to me through and through. Always a shoulder to cry on when the emotions get the better of me. But one conversation we had last month really stood out.
"HEY Bucky! You leafing through the files again, desu?" she announced, grasping my attention within seconds. How did she find out?
I looked up from the file folder I picked up, nearly crumpling it in my grasp. "Kongou-san…"
"What? Bucky, is something wrong?" she asked me.
"I just don't get it, Kongou-san! The orphanage records say I was born here! Why don't they have my birth certificate?" I nearly screamed at her, but I held my voice in.
The battleship gasped, placing her hand over her mouth. "Maybe you weren't born at all, Bucky!"
"Huh?"
"Maybe you were hatched!" she exclaimed.
I stared at her, mouth agape and eyes as wide as dinner plates. The only thing that left my mouth was a low drawl.
Kongou smiled and placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a thumbs up. "JOKE, desu. Don't worry, Bucky. It will turn up. Someday. Maybe in a SURPRISING PLACE."
To this day, I don't know what she meant by that. A surprising place?
Anyway, I digress. Today, I paid a visit to the Commander's office and managed to score a clearance slip to present to the hospital staff. To quote him, it's "to get a list of female children born in that hospital on any given date within one month of [my] birthday." He also elaborated further that because of patient privacy laws, I'm not allowed to ask for information on any name on that list except for my own. Specifically, "Yuki Yamashita". I heartily agreed with that sentiment. I mean, why would I look up any name other than my own at this point? Besides, it's not like "Yuki Yamashita" isn't my real name.
After presenting the slip to the hospital staff, the nurse behind the computer presented me with a single-paper list of names and told us to come back if I find what I'm looking for. I bowed in thanks, leaving the hospital to go on my daily run. As I headed toward the parade grounds, I read through the list of names I was given. It was really short, like nine names. I didn't expect much anyway. This hospital is on a military base and mainly deals with members of the military or dependents, not much civilians. And this list is culled to just October, November, and December of my birth year. My first thought was "Damn, Japan's birth rate is really going down." I read through the list, trying to find my name.
Ando Madoka, 12/17…
Asahina Karen, 10/22…
Chiyohiko Sakura, 11/30…
Fukuyama Aoi, 12/25…
Furusho Hana, 11/6…
Misaki Fubuki, 11/15…
Sekigawa Yukari, 12/31…
Sakai Naoko, 11/20…
Toyama Sanae, 10/8…
It's not here. My name isn't on the list. My heart shattered. My last rays of hope crumbled into a million pieces. I crumpled up the paper in a fit of rage and threw it like an expert fastball into the trash receptacle near me.
Damn it! Damn it! It's not here either! The only girl listed as born on my birthday was this "Fubuki Misaki" person! An idea struck my mind faster than one of my own torpedoes. Wait…maybe I can contact her. It shouldn't be too hard, right? I don't want to do this, but I could ask Commander Misaki to get me her information. A phone number should be enough. Odds are, if she was born the exact same day as me at the same hospital, her parents could have met mine. The hospital has a single nursery ward, which means that the two of us and our parents must have been in the same room at one point. Even if her parents only remember mine as brief memories, it would be the best link I would have to them so far. Unless we were born at different times of day, this Fubuki person should be my best bet.
I'll have to admit though, it really is a coincidence that that girl's named Fubuki and I'm going by that same name while on base. But something feels off. I don't know what. My first thought went to her family name. Misaki. I wonder if she's related to him.
As I stretched my legs before my run (I don't want my muscles to hurt tomorrow), I heard the loud whine of the base speaker systems.
"Attention, all base personnel," Ooyodo announced over the airwaves, "I would like to take the moment to wish you all a happy new year. Now, as you are all aware, with the new year comes the annual inspection from headquarters. We are expecting the inspection team in two days, so please prepare accordingly. Also, a special message from the Admiral. Due to exhaustion and minor smoke inhalation involving last night's fireworks celebration, Battleship Division 3 will be switched out with Carrier Division One for today's patrol. He also emphasizes that otoshidama is limited to those under eighteen years old, destroyers, and certain light cruisers. Please line up in an orderly manner to receive them. On that note, we would like to thank Mamiya and Houshou for volunteering their restaurant's coupons instead of the standard new year's money. Those not on patrol today are advised to clean your rooms in preparation for the inspection. Once you are finished, notify one of your seniors for them to review. We would like to wish you all good luck this coming year and have a safe and happy new year."
So much for getting the commander's help. Today, anyway. I'll ask him about it tomorrow.
After running five laps, I fished the crumpled sheet of paper out of the trash can and returned to my room. I took a highlighter out from one of my drawers and highlighted the name that interested me. I folded it neatly, ironing out the wrinkles in the paper using the edge of my desk. With this new information in my head, I headed to the utility closet down the hall to get what we needed to clean our room. Buckets, cloth, some Windex, a broom, a dustpan, and a feather duster. On my way back, I met up with Mutsuki and Yuudachi, who helped me carry it to our room.
Five thousand yen says that if I do manage to find my parents are still alive, my mom would complain about the way I make my bed. After all this time in a military setting, I couldn't make my bed to save my life. After taking our sheets down to the laundry room to get them washed, Mutsuki and Yuudachi assigned me to make the beds while they swept the floors and wiped down the windows respectively. If only they knew I didn't know how to do hospital corners. Back at the orphanage in landlocked Gunma Prefecture, I would sleep on a futon. Not the most comfortable, mind you, but when you share a room with five other kids and the orphanage is on a tight budget, they have to make cuts somewhere. And that somewhere was Western-style beds.
"Fubuki-chan, you're doing It wrong, poi," Yuudachi commented. "Want to switch?"
I stared at the bedsheet I sloppily tucked underneath my mattress. The wrinkled corners could be seen a mile away. See, this was why I never volunteered for bed duty back in Kure. And why whenever it was my turn, our dorm failed inspection. Sorry, Miyuki and Shirayuki.
"Yes, please," I responded to the blonde girl's inquiry. She handed me her cleaning rag and smiled at me.
Hour by hour passed as we cleaned our room. After a lunch made of a rice ball fused with a slice of fried luncheon meat, we went back to cleaning our room while the fairies spruced up our equipment. Around two o'clock, we were as done cleaning as can be. The interior of the room sparkled in more ways than one. The bedsheets were wrapped around our mattresses like Christmas presents. So that's what hospital corners are. Mutsuki and Yuudachi volunteered to return the cleaning supplies while I reported to Nachi, who was the senior assigned to this floor for the duration of the cleaning.
"Nachi-senpai," I saluted to her, "We've finished cleaning."
Nachi, unlike Ashigara, is one of the heavy cruisers on base I look up to. According to my senpai ranking, she would be a B-, just under Atago and Takao, but higher than Myoukou. Definitely higher than her sister Ashigara, though. Ashigara scares me a little, not just because of the "Hungry Wolf" moniker.
Yeah, that's right. I have a system for which senpai is better than the other. Akagi-senpai is an AA+. Laugh it up, get it out of your system.
Back to Nachi, after the Second Midway Operation, I was placed in her squadron for a patrol. With us was Kasumi, Hatsushimo, Ushio, and Akebono for a joint operation between Yokosuka, Sasebo, and Kure. After Akebono called the Commander a piece of shit a few times, we headed off to Bashi Island to transport bauxite. While we were there, a Ri-class heavy cruiser slammed a shell into my side, knocking me away. Luckily for me, I wasn't seriously hurt, but the impact gave me a twisted ankle. Nachi jumped between me and the enemy fleet, even though it was supposed to be my job to protect her. During the night battle, she slammed her Type 93 torpedoes and accurate gunfire into the Wo-class flagship. With her help and Akebono's, I was towed back to base to recover. Nevertheless, it was a successful operation. Since then, I looked up to her. Not to the extent as Akagi-senpai, Kaga-san, and the Kongou class but still up there.
The heavy cruiser smiled at me. "Great. I'll check it out now. I won't doubt you were able to get your racks squared away."
"Yes of course!" I confirmed with her.
"Oh yeah. One more thing: Carrier Division One isn't going to be back until sunset and their room hasn't been cleaned yet. Do you mind taking care of it for them?"
Nachi wants me to clean Akagi-senpai's room? "I-I wouldn't mind, at all!" I answered.
"Good. Hop to it so you can get to dinner before they get back." She tossed me a small yellow key connected to a metallic leek-shaped keychain. "Remember to give the key back to the admiral when you're done, and let Houshou-san know you've finished so she can inspect it." She patted my shoulder and waved at me as she walked off to inspect the room. "Catch you later, Fubuki."
"Y-Yes!"
With a new pep in my step, I literally bounced over to the carrier dorms, the key jingling in my hands. I raided the supply closet nearest her room for the same tools as before. I tuned the key to unlock the room and was greeted by the sight of a room not unlike what Mutsuki, Yuudachi, and I have. Triple bunk beds nestled in a corner of the room, an elevated floor covered with tatami mats, a desk, and some cabinets. It was arguably tidier than our room, but new year's cleaning is still new year's cleaning. I grabbed a spray bottle full of Windex and got to work.
And so, here I am, two hours later, cleaning Akagi-senpai's room. Ah, Akagi-senpai's room! It's like a dream…It's like a dream! Right, I have to do my best!
"Fubuki-san, you cleaned my room?" Akagi asked me as I finished wiping off a smudge of dirt from the floor.
"Yes! I did my best!" I answer, saluting in front of the shiniest room the two of us have ever seen.
"Good job, Fubuki-san." She pets my head and smiles at me. "You're my favorite destroyer."
"T-Thank you, senpai…" I stumble over the words, giddy at her praise.
I snap out of my imagination, knowing full well that if I just stand around fantasizing it isn't going to come true. I finish wiping down the wooden beds and begin to sweep the floors. There sure is a lot of dust under the bed. I'm just glad it isn't mold or I'm going to be here a lot longer... Mold?
Oh shit, the tatami! I have to clean that or it'll get moldy! I remember, back at the Gunma orphanage, all of us kids were in charge of cleaning at New Years while the caretakers made food for us. I didn't clean the tatami mat like I was supposed to and it got all moldy! The caretakers were so pissed off because little Ryuto-kun got sick from the mold. They grounded me for a week. I don't know how it works at other orphanages, but the caretakers had a real hand-on approach and acted like parents for us until we were adopted. We were treated like their grandchildren.
With the futon already set on the unused beds by Akagi-san and Kaga-san, I pick up one of the mats and set it aside so I can get it cleaned. As I pick up the center mat, a brown manila folder falls to my feet the moment I set the mat aside.
"What's this?" I ask as I pick it up. "Ah, it must go on the shelf, I think." I turn around to place the file folder on the shelf when a small picture wafts down onto my feet.
I recognize it as I pick it up. I'm not the brightest when it comes to medicine, but I'm pretty sure it's a picture of an ultrasound. The image of a small baby and an umbilical cord could be seen in the photograph. I wonder why Akagi-senpai has this. Ah, right! It could be hers! I open up the folder to put the picture back in, but what I see I will remember for the rest of my life.
On top of the pile of papers rests an official portrait of an officer. I recognize him. Commander Misaki's brother. That stern face, ready for something to happen. I remember how Mutsu showed me the poster of him back when we were looking around storage. Why would Akagi-senpai have this picture in her room?
I set the picture aside and move on to the next one. My eyes widen as I saw the visage of the same man hugging Akagi-senpai from behind. Akagi-senpai…she looks a little thinner than she does now. So they…were in love? It's the only reason why she would have his picture here with her! I look at the next picture in the folder and blush. Akagi-senpai was breastfeeding a little baby.
"Eh?! Seriously?! Akagi-senpai had a baby?!" I nearly screamed.
How? Seriously, how? She never said anything about having a child!
Waitwaitwaitwait…ship girls can have babies in the first place?! I had no idea!
Right now, my intuition is yelling at me. "Don't look! Something's very wrong here!" But, in my damned curiosity, I turn to the next item in the folder. A birth certificate with a certain name.
Fubuki Misaki.
That name again. She must be the girl Akagi-senpai gave birth to. Something doesn't feel right. Red flags in my head are popping up faster than I can take them down. Sure, Akagi-senpai had a baby. Born in the same date in the same hospital as me. But it's ridiculous! There are babies born the same day in the same hospital after all. It's not like it's super rare or something. I pick up the birth certificate to look at it closely when another piece of paper falls on the ground.
It had flowery stationary, neatly written by the hands of an elder and was aged with time. Printed on the header was a name I recognized. "Sato's Home for Orphans," it read. The orphanage in Takasaki I grew up in. Steeling myself, I read from it.
Dear Akagi,
I hope you are doing well. My deepest condolences for the death of Haruki-kun, but alas, war is war. I lost my own son in the onslaught that took your other half away from you. Such a bright young man, my son was. He looked up to Admiral Misaki and strived to be an officer like him. But the Abyssals took both of them away from us. I can understand your grief, that's why offered my services for your child. It's what my son would have wanted. You were wise to be concerned about your daughter's safety. But please don't fret, she is in very good hands.
Your daughter Fubuki is doing very well. Already, she's taken a liking to the books we have here. She's also such a ball of energy, my husband and I can't keep up. We can see why you named her Fubuki. It is a shame that you had to hide her away. A shame that she has to live under a government alias. She likes being called "Yuki Yamashita", but I believe she will be happier with the name her mother gave her.
What...?!
Why? My name…it isn't even real?! It's just a government alias?!
Please, don't forget to visit her. You can come by anytime. You are always welcome here. I'm sure little 'Yuki' misses her mother. Someday, she might come looking for you. When that day comes, please don't deny her. Like any little girl, she just wants to be loved by her mother, nothing more.
Love, Hikari Sato.
Granny Hikari. That's why the handwriting seemed so familiar. My hands trembled as I read the fine printed text on the bottom of the stationery.
This is insane. Me?! Akagi-senpai's daughter?!
No…
It can't be true…
It's impossible!
Yet all the evidence points to the same conclusion.
Akagi-senpai is my mother!
Why?!
God, why wouldd she lie to me?!
Why is she hiding this under her damn tatami?!
I feel tears fall from my eyes and wipe them on my sleeve. I clench the birth certificate in my hands. This thing. I was searching for this all this time. No wonder I couldn't find it. I was searching for an enigma.
My name is not Yuki Yamashita at all. I'm Fubuki Misaki. The name right under my nose this whole time. Why haven't I seen this sooner?! I'm not even born human in the first place…I'm a human/ship girl hybrid! A walking, talking, byproduct of a UCMJ violation committed by the person I respected the most!
Akagi-senpai…why?
My mind turns to the picture of the commander's brother. Haruki Misaki. I slam his picture on the nearest mirror. Not on the mirror itself because I'm wary about the bad luck thing, but on the frame. If Akagi-senpai is my mother and this man, this Admiral, is the one who loved her, doesn't that mean he's my father?!
"My brother. He died in the attack here fifteen years ago." Commander Misaki ran his hand on the kanji of the name on the memorial.
He's dead…Dad is dead…I never even knew him. I stare at the reflection in the mirror. I can see it. The faint resemblance between me and him. His eyes. The way he looks when he's serious.
Wait a minute. Commander's brother?! D-Does that mean the Commander is my uncle?! If he was in on the whole thing, then is the reason I was flagship of Mobile Unit Five just a farce? Just because I was his favorite niece? Is that it?! Geez, I don't know what to think anymore!
"All warfare is based on deception."
That passage from The Art of War rips through my heart. So what, because we're at war it gives them the right to deceive me? For Akagi-senpai and Commander Misaki to hide the truth of my parentage? I wanted to find out about my parents, but not like this!
I stare into space, hoping I could find some kind of solace in the information I uncovered.
I've found them. My parents.
But my entire childhood was part of a larger conspiracy.
The familiar chime of the Naval Base's clock echoes through the window, and only now do I notice the setting sun. Oh. Oh no. Nonononono… I didn't realize how much time I spent on this! The clock on the wall reads five-thirty! I've got to put this away before Akagi-senpai gets back!
The sound of the door behind me slamming open causes me to jump. In my surprise, I drop the folder. The contents spill out onto the floor, leaving a pile of papers and pictures at my feet. The guilt of my curiosity spreads across my face as I realize I was looking through Akagi-senpai's most personal affects as she came into the room. A look of pure horror was strewn all over her frozen face as I held my birth certificate in my hands.
Why? Why did you have to come back now, Akagi-senpai?
I stared at her with my mouth open and tears streaming down my face. I was guilty of invading her privacy, but she lied to me in the worst possible way.
I respected you.
"Stand. Your efforts until now far exceed this." Akagi called from the docks, pointing her arrow at me.
I looked up to you.
"I know how you couldn't even travel through the water and kept going forward: good, unashamed and hard-working. You can do this. Now, stand!" she commands, urging me to prove myself to her.
But why?
Why would you lie to me?
Why didn't you tell me you were my mother?
Akagi steps forward, but my fear, confusion, and distrust causes me to act. I do the only logical thing I can do.
Channeling the "Fight or Flight" response, I bolt out of the room crying my eyes out. Hot tears stream through my clenched shut eyes as I run down the halls and down the stairs, out the door and onto my familiar running trail, fleeing to the cliff overlooking the sea.
"Akagi-senpai…Akagi-senpai, you IDIOT!" I shout to the sea. My tears. They won't stop. I collapse to my knees and sob uncontrollably.
I…I don't know who I am anymore.
Am I Yuki, the girl from Gunma? Or am I Fubuki, Akagi's daughter?
God, it's so confusing!
I was Yuki Yamashita, a simple orphan girl raised in Gunma Prefecture.
Born a human, became a ship girl.
That was all I knew.
All of that, every single last word of it is one brutal lie after another!
My name? It never showed up on genealogy records. Not even the government had anything on me. On official records, I didn't exist. As it turns out, "Yuki Yamashita," the name I've known my whole life, wasn't even my real name! It was a government alias to protect me. My real name is Fubuki Misaki from Kanagawa, moved to Gunma for my own protection.
I was never fully human in the first place. I am a human/ship girl hybrid, the product of a love affair between Akagi-senpai and the Commander's brother!
So, I have to ask: who am I?
What am I?
What am I fighting for?
Mom, Dad, what should I do?
But Mom…is…mom is…
I can't believe this! I can't believe this is true…
Akagi-senpai…my mother.
Dad…he's dead…
The Commander…my uncle.
Who else is in on the conspiracy, huh?! Kaga-san? Oh yeah, she'll know. She knows. Akagi-senpai tells everything to her. Houshou-san knows as well. Why else would she treat me like a granddaughter? Kongou-san? Doubtful... But that conversation I had stuck out.
"It will turn up. Someday. Maybe in a SURPRISING PLACE."
That damn fast battleship! She knew all along, but she didn't tell me! I thought she was like a big sister I can rely on! That makes two people in Mobile Unit Five under my command that knows and never bothered to tell me. Hell, I bet Kongou-san engineered this whole damn thing! I wouldn't put it past her to make this secret come to light!
Who can I trust?
I don't know if I can trust anyone anymore.
Akagi-senpai...Commander...why did you have to hide this from me?
Welp, the tale is drawing to its conclusion. Therefore, this week and next week are special One Hour Specials! The next chapter will come out tomorrow! Now then, some trivia concerning Fubuki's assumed name:
Yuki is Japanese for snow.
Lieutenant Commander Shizuo Yamashita was killed in action at Cape Esperance. He was the real life Fubuki's last captain.
Also, "Yamashita" means "Under the Mountain," and in case you don't know about Japan's geography (don't worry, I won't judge), Gunma Prefecture is where Akagi's namesake - Mount Akagi - resides.
No, nobody on the writing team knew any of these things until after the fact. Spoopy coincidence is Spoopy.
This story is a collaborative effort between myself, Mashadarof402, lt_agn02, and Lord K. This Chapter was written by lt_agn02