Chapter 6 Hidden truth

In this chapter time may jump to Burke's tremor drama, but the blank in between will be filled with retrospective chapters later. In my story, everything Burke think that Cristina did wrong, Cristina has a deeper reason behind it that he didn't know.

English is not my first language, so please put up with my grammar mistakes, and I know nothing about medicine, all the conversations regarding med information are from wikipedia or the show, if there are mistakes please ignore them, thank you!

Disclaimer: GA and all characters belong to Shonda and ABC

In the gallery

Burke's POV

Grey rushed in with the other 3 interns, tears streaming down her face.

" Burke, what the hell happened? Why is Katey Kim here? " She snapped at me.

" You know about Katey? How...? Cristina doesn't even..." I'm stunned at her question

" Of course she knows, you said her name in your dreams, how could she not know? WHY IS SHE HERE? "

" She knows...? How could she...? " I couldn't say anything more, I couldn't think right now

" Why is she here when Cristina's hit by a car, Cristina should be heading to your apartment...Oh my god, you bastard, did you cheat on her? "

I couldn't reply a word, too much is going on today, I couldn't understand.

Meredith pushed me towards the wall and screamed, " Do you have any idea what she sacrificed for you? How could you cheat on her? How could you..."

She was taken away from me by the other interns and Katey snapped back at her, " It's not Preston's fault, she ran out into the street at red lights!"

Meredith was speechless and shivering for a moment, she looked at me like it's the first time she saw me, like she saw some kind of monster, " Preston Burke, I have just one question for you, do you love her or not? What is her to you? Is she just a shadow, a replacement for Katey Kim so now Kim is back you are just gonna dump her? "

I still couldn't say anything, it's like I'm glued, frozen at the spot.

" I couldn't believe it! What kind of people did this! She's going to tell you that she's pregnant only to find out that you cheated on her. You always blame her for not taking the steps in the relationship and moving in with you, but you have no idea that she know about your ex all the time. She knew your took your oppourtunity, slept with her professor and left you broken. Your ex left you broken and Cristina tried to fix you. She tried to fix you because she has loved you for 20 years! She couldn't take the steps because she didn't know whether you love her or not all the time! She knew it and she was willing to be a replacement because she loved you for freaking 20 years!"

" What...? " What is she talking about?

" Preston Burke, did you remember that 20 years ago, you witnessed a car accident, a 9 year-old-girl and her father were in the car. You tried to instruct the girl to do CPR on her dead when they were struck in the car, but the father died anyway. The little girl was frightened because she felt her father's heart stop beating. You was there for her the whole time and you comforted her. "

It suddenly occurred to me the freezing night 20 years ago when I was still in med school. Why did she know that? " You're saying that girl is..."

" Yes, that girl is Cristina. Although you didn't manage to save his dad's life, you're like a god to her, the only light in her life. You probably didn't remember, but she asked your name and you told her that you want to be a C.T. surgeon. And that became her life goal ever since. She never realized it but I think she fell in love with you ever since, she wasn't involved with anyone until you. She followed all your research and publish, she went to every lecture you held in Harvard. I think she even unconsciously choose Harvard because you're the guest professor there. She finished phd and md in 5 years and graduated 1st in class. Her step father knew her talent, didn't want her to waste time in intern years so he sent her to work under his friend in Paris. She could perform final year residency surgery in her first year residency, so she has been approved by French medical board to become an attending in 4 years. Have you heard of the famous Rubestein conduit trail ? That's her clinical trail. She published under her pen name because she's too young and she didn't want people's attention on her instead of her trail. Every patient in her trail signed a confidential agreement not to leak her personal information, so no one knows that she's behind this."

" What? Then why did she...? " I couldn't believe my ears

" Why did she come here as an intern? Because she got stuck in the third trail for printing a functional human heart, the 3D printer now can't do that yet. So she wanted to get out of her father's shelter and came back to state to work. She heard you're working here, but there's no budget for hiring a resident or attending here last year. She wanted to work with you so she came here as an intern. Only Chief knew about her real qualification. She didn't care about her title or status or whatever, she's happy as long as she get to cut and she's with you. You are more important to her than her career, because she came here as an intern to get to work with you. You blamed her for using your tremor as a stone to her successful career? George you blamed her for putting patient's life at risk. That is bullshit, she did these procedures like 100 times, she only did this to nurture your pride, because you told her your damn hands are only thing worth value to you! "

I was totally speechless at Cristina's secrets. Katey flew out of the scene in shame.

" George, you tell Dr. Burke who told the chief about the his tremor? "

" Dr. Burke, I'm so sorry, I told the chief because I saw the suture in the gallery and I didn't want another patient like my dad to go through the risk..." George was ashamed. What did I do? What did I do to her?

" You think she betrayed you but she didn't. I guess she didn't tell you because George is your guy and she didn't want you to loose your friend. She never told you any of these because she thinks ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS. But apparently she's wrong, you are no different from others. You think she's a cold and heartless surgical junk who only cares about her career. But she cares enough to be your girlfriend even if you dumped her when she was about to tell you she's pregnant. She cares enough to be your girlfriend even if she lost a baby and she knew you saw someone else in her. She cares enough to tell you to be the other guy and stayed with us at OR1 with Derek even if you told her to go. She cares enough to took a bullet for you and nearly killed herself trying to protect you. She cares enough to lie for you and stick with you even if all she get is punishment and cold stares. She cares enough to want to keep the baby and tell you to cheer you up and talk you into doing the surgery even if you refused to talk to her. What did she get? She lost one baby, one fallopian tube. She got an aorta repair and valve replacement. She lived in silence for 1 week. She saw her boyfriend cheating on her and got hit by a car. She's about to loose her baby and her own life."

"Enough. Stop it, just stop it..." I feel like I couldn't breathe. The whole gallery was extremely quiet and shocked by the outbreak.

" NO. You have no right to tell me when to stop. You want to know how I know all these? She didn't tell me, I stole her diary everyday, photocopy it and read it so I know everything about her. She had no idea that I knew her secrets. She has been a genius her whole life, her father worked in Wall street and left her with a fund and talent in investing. Her step father has no child other than her, he also gave her a fund and taught her skills to be a surgeon. She is an attending at 27 and has her own world famous trail. She's unbelievably rich, success in career, young and beautiful. You know what's the only mistake she made in her life? YOU, PRESTON BURKE. Falling in love with you is the single and biggest mistake she made in her life. You don't deserve her. If she dies, it's on you. You killed her. And I want you to regret it every minute the rest of your life. "

She slapped the door and left. I felt numb and nauseous. She's right, if she couldn't make it, I am the one who killed her. I love her, I don't know what I feel for Katey or if I see her as Katey's replacement. I couldn't think right now, but I know I love her. And I can't imagine living in the world without her.