Chapter 11 Renascence

Yay, Cristina will come back in this Chapter! For the record, this chapter happens at the same time at Mercy West as the last two chapters when Burke was living in the aftermath. It happens right after Cristina "died".

English is not my first language, so please put up with my grammar mistakes, and I know nothing about medicine, all the conversations regarding med information are from wikipedia or the show, sorry if this is the worst piece you've ever read!

Disclaimer: GA and all characters belong to Shonda and ABC

Cristina's POV

It is so silent here except for the beeping of monitors. Am I in heaven? Wait, am I out of my mind, heaven can't have monitors. Moving my hands slightly, I can feel the touch of sheet, the smell of aqua sterilisata. If god exists, he must know me well enough to give me a hospital scene for welcome.

" Dr. Kepner, present the case." A somber male voice said.

" Fiona White, suffer from acute heart attack caused by hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, aka a genetic mutation resulting in impairment of cardiac muscle. A mectomy was performed. BP 100/60, her vitals are stable. " Wow, this perky tone is so annoying.

" Good. Keep an eye on her. She's my best protege ever. I don't want anything happen to her. Are we clear? " The male continued.

Lights started to reflect in my eyes. Oh, where am I? This is definitely not heaven, and this is not SGH either. What happened to me? Am I alive?

" Dr. Thomas..." I saw a red head doctor pointing at me.

" Fiona, you are awake! How are you feeling? " A man in his sixties rushed to my side quickly.

" Um...I feel a bit dizzy still. Where am I? What happened? " I'm sure I don't know him, but somehow this old man seemed familiar.

" Oh, after you heard about passing your board in flying colors you are so excited that you had a sudden heart attack. Turns out you have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which I am sure you are unaware of. I performed an emergency mectomy on you. Don't worry, you will be fine. Just get some rest now. Ok? " So he's my doctor?

" Ok. Thank you. " I felt a wave of exhaustion and drifted to sleep.

A girl's whole life was replaying right in front of me like a movie. Wealthy parents both died of plane crash, left the girl with a huge trust fund and greedy relatives trying to dig gold from her. At the age of 18, she could finally control her own life and no longer needed any custody. She worked her ass off in Duke University's medicine programme and joined Mercy West. Here, she found her mentor- Dr. Ciarg Thomas. He was old-fashioned and conservative, but he filled in the missing fatherly role in her childhood. She lived her dream, passed her boards, she was so excited that she passed out on the celebration party.

When I opened my eyes, I realized that is the memory of this body. Her soul died in the heart attack, and now I'm living in her body. How do I feel now? Panick? Guilty? Fear? Hatred? Looking at myself in the mirror in bathroom, the only thing I felt was irony. It's ironic that a girl was finally living her dream died and a girl desperate to die continued to live in her body. It's ironic that no matter who I am, I would be growing up without a father. It's ironic how I loved cardio with all my life once but now thinking of being a CT surgeon would only remind me of HIM. My heart sting thinking of his name. No, you can't think of him. You have a new life now, and probably he has one too. You have to escape from him and start to be yourself again. You can't run away from OR or your dream just because of him. Fiona finally realized her dream, you took her body. This is the least you could do for her. Looking at the date on my phone, I realized I "died" yesterday. Wait, Meredith, she must be mopping over my death. Should I tell her? How do I explain all this to her?

Before I knew, I find myself at the door of Harper Lane House. It has been a week since I found my new identity. It was midnight, Meredith should be off her shift now. I wondered around the door bell, unsure whether to ring it or not. Should I tell her? I have a fatal genetic disorder now. I could die from a sudden heart attack at any minute. If I die again after telling her, it would be cruel for her. But knowing she's grieving over my death while I am still alive is also cruel. Not to mention if she somehow find out that I didn't tell her, she would never forgive me for that. At the sound of roaring engine, I turned around and found a pale Meredith leaning on Derek, pacing toward the house.

" Excuse me, can I help you? " Derek asked softly, not willing to startle Meredith.

" Um...I...I'm a friend of Cristina. You must be Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Grey. Can I have a word with Dr. Grey? " I saw Mer's eyes lit up at my name.

" I don't think Dr. Yang has any friend except for her fellow interns, not that I'm aware of. Sorry, I can't let you talk to Meredith alone now. She's mentally drained. You can talk to us both. " He said firmly. Meredith shoot him a look but didn't oppose.

" OK. Can we find a more private place? I don't want to make a big public scene. " I hesitated but continued anyway. Cristina, you can do this. You have to do this.

" Fine. You can come in if you don't mind. " Derek finally agreed.

In Meredith's House

" Ok. What I am going to say from now on may be crazy, but I need two of you to stay calm. If you don't believe me, that's fine. Just don't tell anyone about me, can you promise me that? " I played my fingers with the cup of water Derek gave me, not knowing where to start.

" Ok. You have my word. " Derek looked confused me but promised me anyway.

" Meredith, I won't tell anyone that you puked after the first rescue mission. " I turned to Meredith. She stood up immediately and shook my shoulder, I knew she got my point. " Who are you? How do you know that? She's the only one who knows that, she didn't tell anyone. " Tears started to form in her beautiful green eyes.

Derek pulled her back and snapped at me in anger, " This conversation is over. Now get out of my house! "

" No, Derek. Let her finish." She stopped Derek and looked at me with pleadings. I knew she might already figure out part of the truth.

" Do you believe Freaky Friday could come to reality? " I still remembered how we mocked at the plot back then.

" What...OH MY GOD...are you saying? " " Yes, yes, yes. That's exactly..."

She jumped with joy even before I could finish my answer. She hugged me so tight that I couldn't breathe. " Mer, give me some slack here, don't strangle me." I patted her shoulder. She finally let go of me with a huge grin on her face.

" You're back! Come on, fill me in. How did this happen? What's your name now? " She rambled on and on, like I would disappear in the next second.

" Hello, I'm still here, not invisible! Meredith, what happened just now?" Derek butted in.

" Shut up! " We yelled at him at the same time and chuckled at each other.

" Ok. Here's the thing. My name is Fiona White now..." I started to tell her the whole story.

2 hours later

" So you mean you're Cristina but you are not anymore? " Derek asked in conclusion.

" Bravo, Mcdreamy. " I clapped my hands.

" Are you planning on telling anyone else about this? I know this is not my place to ask, but did you tell HIM? " He asked hesitantly. " Derek!" Mer was mad at Derek for mentioning Burke's name.

" Mer, it's fine...It's just...no, I didn't. I don't want to talk about it." I felt a lump clotting in my throat, constricting my airway.

" Cristina, I know he's an ass, he did horrible things to you. But he's a corpse now, ever since he watched your video and read your diary, he just stared at his ceiling every day. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep..."

" Call me Fiona, no Cristina anymore, remember? And how did he have my diary? " I tried to change the subject.

" That's not the point, Cris...Fiona. The point is he's dying now. You should tell him." Derek was annoyed at me.

" Cris...Fiona, I hate to say this, but you should think about it. " Meredith suggested.

" What's wrong with you? Mer, you're my person. I am starting a new life now, I don't want to be go back to be this pathetic intern begging him to love me. I'm not an intern anymore, I'm literally a fellow now. Besides, he's only guilty. He will be fine in a sac, he has Ka...don't make me say her name! " I just want to fleed from all of this. This is too much for me.

" Fiona, I found him beside a pool of blood in his apartment, he had gastrorrhagia because he rarely eat and didn't sleep at all. We had to cut one third of his stomach and sedate him so he can sleep. " Derek looked straight into my eyes and tried to talk sense into me.

" What? Is he stable now? Any complications? When did this happen? " I couldn't believe my ears.

" He's stable, no complications. If I didn't check on him every night he could have bled to death alone. Do you want that to happen again? I know you have your problems, but you have to tell him before it's too late. "

" No, it will NOT be too late, not if you keep an eye on him 24/7, he's gonna be fine. " I refused to think about him dying alone.

" You know, she has a point. Derek, we can stop this from happening again." Meredith interrupted.

" No! He needs to know the love of his life is perfectly alive! "

" I am not perfectly alive! Every day in my life now is borrowed, I could die from heart attack tomorrow, I can't do anything about my gene. Do you want me to tell him I'm alive and die on him the next day? Derek, I'm saying please here, please don't let him die. You or Meredith can drive him home and gave him meds to sleep every night. " I was practically begging them now.

" Fine. But you can't avoid your problems forever. You still love him. A blind man can see that. "

" Thank you, that means a lot to me. Can I sneak into his room and check on him? He's sedated, right? " I asked Meredith hoping to god I can see him right now. I need to see him. I need to know he's ok.

" Of course you can. Come with me. " Meredith agreed immediately and took me to the car. Derek followed us silently, still digesting the stunning incidents.