Chapter 18 The grand speech

Meredith was keeping a life-altering secret from Cristina, what would that be? Will this secret change Cristina's life forever?

Thank you AGK for your review, I would definitely go without Owen.

Disclaimer: GA and all characters belong to Shonda and ABC.

Fiona's POV

At Harper Avery Gala

I was dragged by Meredith to show up in this Harper Avery Gala, Meredith was acting weird the whole time. She seemed wanting to tell me about something ever since the night at Joe's. She even said, "Cristina, you know I would tell you everything if I can. There used to be only you and me, and now there's also Derek and me. He's my boyfriend, but you're my soul mate." She was cut off by me ensuring her that I could deal with Derek. We had our differences towards issues, I used to tell him repeatedly to leave Meredith alone. Now since he divorced and Mer was no longer the dirty mistress, I could cope with him, and it's not like I was his intern and he got to boss me around anymore. I wonder what it is that Mer was keeping from me. It got to be a big secret if she was acting like this. Jeez, did Mcdreamy had another secret lover? Is that what she was hiding from me?

Burke was acting mushy and clinche since the drunk night, which was rare for a logic and meticulous man like him. It had been two weeks since then. Surprisingly, he didn't shower me with his "I want to talk" speech the morning after. Instead, he told me he was grateful that I managed to find a way to communicate with him. Now I would write my random thoughts in the diary at morning and he would explain everything to me if he sensed any misunderstandings here and there. I wouldn't say we were past all the hurts and angst over the past year. But at least we were on good terms for now.

My trial was stuck because I couldn't find the reason why the second patient died. It was supposed to be effective if the two solutions were injected at the same speed. Mer had suggested that I could let Burke have a look at that at that night, when I refused to do so she didn't bug me twice about it like usual. Something was seriously bothering her. I made a mental note to find out about this later. But first, I have to finish this stupid gala and listened to Burke's either arrogant or humble acceptance speech.

Burke was in his charming burgundy purple shirt and the tie with the same color. It was the same outfit he wore when I first introduced myself to him at the welcome party. He was waiting patiently across the table for Catherine Avery to announce the winner of this year. His eyes crinkled a bit at the spot light towards him, like what an Oscar nominee would react when the camera was filming. Mer and Derek were sitting together besides me. Meredith was preparing the phone on speaker nervously, keeping Webber and other doctors in SGH updated. Derek was trying as hard as he could to hide his jealousy towards his co-worker winning the award after he fixed his hands. The moment finally came, "I hereby announce that this year's Harper Avery award goes to- Dr. Preston Burke!" Instantly, Burke perked up, hugged me, Meredith and Derek respectively and took the leap towards the podium with an ear-to-ear grin and a dimple in his chin.

"I want to say a big thank you to everyone who have helped mold me into who I am today. It was a great honour to be conferred this milestone award. However, I would like to dedicate this award to a woman that changed my life. She was my right hand in surgeries, she was my partner after work. I used to be married to my career and then she came into light. I am a heart man. I took them apart, put them back together, hold them in my hands. I never knew that heart spoke volumes until I met her. I've made mistakes, I've had my moments. I've praised this woman's brilliance, I've also denied her ability to be a great surgeon. But I was wrong. She was actually a better surgeon than I was. Not only had she encouraged me to do the bovine valve replacements and other ground-breaking surgeries, she also guided me through the darkness. She was my beacon, my relay station, my hopes and dreams. I made a terrible mistake and I failed to tell her those words when she could hear me. So, today, on this stage, I dedicate this award to her- a brilliant surgeon and an incredible woman. Thank you!"

With glassiness in his eyes, he hugged Catherine for the last time and went down the stage. I blinked hard to keep the tears in my eyes from falling. Meredith was holding my hand and I could see she was moved by those beautiful words as well. I never thought I was the girl that could be moved by a public speech of affection, but there was just something about this man that I couldn't resist. I have always enjoyed his praise, let alone a praise in a Harper Avery acceptance speech. In his black tuxedos, he walked towards me like a knight in shining armour. The room burst into applause as well as the other side of the phone where Webber and other attendings were sitting in the conference room, celebrating his win at the same time. Burke mouthed to me 'wait' and was soon engaged in small talks with eager surgeons surrounding him.

The cocktail party came to an end soon after the long night, Derek and Burke were still deep in conversations with doctors that changed the face of medicine, such as Collin Marlow and Harper Avery. Meredith was still lost in her own thought which made me really worried about her," Mer, something was up. What is it that you're so desperately hiding from me? Does Derek has another secret lover or whatever?" I couldn't hide my curiosity anymore. I wasn't the kind to hold back my words in the first place.

"What? No, nothing like that. It's just...I couldn't tell you because Derek made me promise not to. Would you promise me that you wouldn't be mad at me if you find out what I'm not telling you?" Why was she freaking out now?

"Okay. Mer, I'm your person that means I wouldn't be mad at you. So stop freaking out." I ensured her that I wouldn't be mad at her. Little did I knew when the truth was revealed I wouldn't be able to keep my words.

"Deal. Keep that in mind. You're my person." At that moment, Derek came by, gave her a peck in the cheek, bid me goodbye and escorted Meredith to their car through the chilly winds. When Burke finally managed to escape the crowds, I put my hands around his waist, he put his over my shoulder and we headed towards home to rest.

At the apartment

I smiled at the sight of the completely different apartment. One month ago, it was in complete chaos and now it was split into two distinct areas. The kitchen and the bookshelf were spotless. The knives were placed in the holder from higher spot to lower spot. The medical journals were placed according to Dewey Decimal classification. Oppositely, the living room and the bathroom were a disaster. Surgical tapes were scattered everywhere on the side table. Used bath towels were tossed aside carelessly on bathroom tiles. Dirty scrubs were still on the floor waiting for Burke to pick them up and did the laundries.

I snuggled beside him under the cover and asked him the question hovering in my mind all this time, "Why did you say that on the podium?"

"I mean it when I said so. You're a great surgeon. You can save your patients. Don't ever doubt yourself." He answered with a lower tone.

"So Meredith told you about the trial? Is that what she's been hiding from me? Why would Mcdreamy stop her from telling me that?" I was confused at the situation. Meredith's weird actions were getting to me.

"What are you talking about? What about Derek?" Why did his voice sound nervous? What's wrong with everyone around me these days?

"Meredith was keeping something because Derek made her promised not to tell me. He was such a jerk. I guess he was just jealous about how close we were."

"Yea, he should be." He breathed a warm breath to my back, which made me stiffened a bit. After a long silence, I started to call his name, "Burke, are you awake? Burke?" There was no answer but I knew he was awake. There was no way he could sleep so soon after the Harper Avery Award winning night. But I continued my word anyway, because he poured his heart today and I would like him to hear my confession as well.

"You said you practiced to be the best. You said you wasn't the brightest like I was. But I wasn't as smart as you thought. I was among the few Asians in the class. They nicknamed me 'the quote child' because they were jealous I was always first in class. The truth is, there are two kinds of brilliance, one is born with nature, the other is practicing. Meredith was the first kind. She didn't need to practice a stitch or a suture. She was born in this hospital, it was her playground. She knew anatomy Jane by heart. I wasn't like that. I had to memorize the text by heart and took the book with me wherever I went. I had to practice a suture hundreds of times to get it right. But I was the best because I practiced. I didn't let it get to me. I decided very early that I was going to be a surgeon, the best surgeon possible, ever since you told me that rainy night you wanted to be a cardio-thoracic surgeon."

He didn't show me any response. He just spooned me tighter. Inhaling in his scent and absorbing his warmth, I dozed off. Burke always had his way of cheering me up, he said I was his relay station, but to be honest, he was mine as well. Just snuggling to him after a particularly hard day would energize me. Now after his grand speech, I knew I would be capable of finding the right treatment plan. I was determined to get some progress for the trial the next day.