Chapter 23 – Growing up

Looking out into the trees as the sun made the dew glitter was truly a beautiful thing. I was barley looking at the sandwiches I spread, the view was too idyllic to look away. Also my 28 years of being a mother made me extremely qualified to make sandwiches whether I was looking at what I was doing or not. I'd never had any complains about my cooking and I doubt I'd have any today.

Edward and Bella showed up late last night and explained to me and Carlisle what had happened to Jasper on the way here. It broke my heart to hear how ill he had gotten. That poor young man didn't deserve that horrible disease, he managed to hide it from us so well I felt terrible I hadn't known about it sooner. I would never have let him work himself so hard on the cottage if I'd known, though perhaps that's why he didn't tell us. I can understand that when you have such limiting disease that takes up so much of your life you wouldn't want everyone to know because you wouldn't want it to invade every part of your life.

Edward said he was worried about Jaspers health, he said he's in the last stage of his illness and there wasn't much time left before his body couldn't handle the strain anymore. It made my heart ache to know that finally my daughter found someone to love, found someone that she would let love her, and he could be taken away so easily. I don't think she would be the same again if she lost him.

"Mom," A voice rang beside me. "Mom I asked if you want help." Edward came over beside me.

"Oh thank you honey but really I'm okay, I miss making food for everyone." I smiled up at my son.

"You're thinking about Jasper, aren't you?" He asked putting a hand on my shoulder. "He'll be okay mom, they're just keeping him in over night as a precaution. I'm sure him and Ali will be over soon and we can enjoy the day. We'll still get the picnic like we planned."

"Edward I'm not worried about the picnic! I've had plenty of birthdays this one is nothing special, I'm just worried about Jasper…and Alice." I sighed. "I can't bear the thought of anything happening… and to find out he's been this sick for so long."

"I know, he feels like a part of the family already. It's not easy to see someone struggle so much…I was so scared we were too late last night." Edward swallowed audibly, his grip on my shoulder tightening. "Anyway, what have you got for us all today?"

"Well this pile is ham, and there's cheese, chicken salad, hummus and falafel for something a bit different…also because I had a lot chickpeas and thought I better do something with them. Then we have strawberries, blueberries, carrots, cucumber.."

"wow you have been busy!" Bella interrupted me.

"Good morning babe," Edward said moving toward her and wrapping her up in his big arms…which, I blushed to admit, didn't quite fit around her at the size she was. It made me so happy to think they had moved back home and from now on would be living just down the path. I didn't want to be an overbearing mother who would never leave them alone but it was nice to think they were so close and could come over for dinner whenever they wanted. And that I could see my grandchild growing up. A smile light my face to think about the immanent birth of my first grandchild.

My family was growing more and more by the minute. This little one probably wouldn't be the last grandchild. In fact I would almost bet there would be more announcements by the time the year was over.

"We could have helped with all this Esme, it's your birthday you should be the one being spoiled, not us!" Bella said.

"Oh no sweet heart, you should be resting while you can! Trust me you wont be getting much rest when the little one arrives." I smiled. "And besides, its nice to have something to do for a change. When are you two going to move into the cottage? Not that we mind you staying here for as long as you need of course!" I said quickly.

"Well we're still waiting on some furniture arriving, nothing really important but we thought it would be nice to wait until everything is all sorted before we move in. Hopefully in the next few days." Edward replied. "I start work with dad tomorrow though, quick excited for my first day."

"Oh well I know your father is so proud to be working with you, honey."

"Yeah I think he knew all along neurology wasn't for me, it's almost like he had a job sitting waiting for me until I figured it out myself." He shrugged. "Where is dad, anyway?"

"Oh, Alice called and asked if he could pick her and Jasper up from the hospital. They should be back any minute actually, that was a little while ago." I said glancing up at the clock.

As if by magic the front door opened at that exact moment, "It's just me, the town burglar." Carlisle's voice called out.

"Well that was good timing," Edward mumbled.

"And I've brought along some friends," Carlisle said as he walked into the kitchen trailed by Alice and Jasper.

"Oh Jasper dear how are you, I heard about what happened, are you feeling okay." I gushed as I rushed forward and pulled him in for a hug. He laughed quietly as he hugged me back.

"I'm fine Esme, really, probably worse for the rest of them than me, I don't remember much at all." Jasper said quickly, obviously eager to change the subject. I wonder how long its been since he had a mother to fuss over him. It made my heart melt for him even more.

"Nice to see you too mom," Alice joked. "Jeez, one little episode of near death low-BP and he gets all the attention."

"Its nice to see you too Alice," I smiled and hugged her quickly. "Thanks for coming."

"So now we're just waiting for Emmett and Rosalie and we're good to go." Carlisle said. "Esme stop making food, go take the kids into the garden and I'll finish up here." I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off before I could speak. "No excuses now, I want to take care of my wife on her birthday…she just needs to let me." He winked. "Come on now, no excuses, out of the kitchen." Carlisle ushered us all to leave. As I turned my back to him to leave he lightly slapped my behind.

I gasped and turned to him. "Carlisle, the kids." I hissed.

He winked at me, "I just couldn't help myself." A child grin spread across his wizened face. Gosh I loved that man.

"Save it for later," I winked at him before leaving and catching up with the kids in the garden. It was cold outside so I grabbed my coast and pulled it tightly around me as I walked out the house. The day would heat up in a few hours and it would be beautiful weather for a picnic, but at the moment the morning chill was still in the air.

Bella and Alice were sitting on the garden furniture chatting quietly while Edward and Jasper tossed a football between them.

"Where did they get that football?" I asked as I sat down next to the girls.

"I have no idea," Bella shrugged. "Sometimes I feel like when men get together a football just appears by magic so they have something to do that doesn't involve actually talking to each other."

Alice laughed, "I think you might be on to something there Bells."

"At least Jaspers up and about," Bella said carefully. "I was so scared last night, I felt like I should have been doing something to help but all I could was watch, I've never been so scared."

Alice lowered her eyes and took a deep breath. "I've kind of been getting used to that feeling recently, it's so hard to watch him fight this on his own. All I can do is pray that a transplant becomes available and…and that just doesn't feel like enough."

I leaned over and took her hand, squeezing it tightly. "You're doing so much more than that sweetheart, you're there for him during such a difficult time. He needs that and trust me, man aren't always big talkers but it will mean the world to him."

"Its not enough," She said, her voice so low it was almost a whisper. "It's not enough to just give him emotional support right now, he needs real help…he's not going to get better and he needs…he needs more." She pulled her hand away from mine to wipe her eyes. I could feel a physical pain in my chest, that one that appeared when I saw my children in pain. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get so dark, I just didn't really get much sleep last night."

"Alice don't be so silly," Bella said sympathetically. "I can't even imagine what it must be like."

"Alice we're all here for you if you need anything, we're here for you both." I said as I inched closer to her on the bench. "I know there's nothing we can do but…anything you need sweetheart we're here for you."

"Thanks mom," Alice smiled and looked up at me, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Suddenly something caught Alice's eyes and in an instant her expression changed, a veneer of happiness took over and she smiled. The sadness in here eyes didn't shift. Something in my heart told me it wouldn't go away until Jasper was okay. I prayed he would be okay.

"Hi Rosalie," Alice gushed. I turned to see Rosalie walking toward us. Emmett was moving over to throw the ball around with the other two, he waved over at me and shouted a happy birthday.

"Hi Rosalie," I greeted her. "How was the drive up?"

"Oh it was fine, Emmett's driving is terrible but we 'didn't die' as he always likes to say." Rosalie smiled.

"I swear Rosalie my heart is in my mouth every time he.."

I didn't have time to finish my thought before Carlisle appeared out of nowhere singing "Happy Birthday" at the top of his lungs, carrying a tall sponge cake with enough candles on top to start a forest fire.

"Happy birthday to you," The rest of my family joined in as they made their way toward me. A smile stretched from ear to ear as I watched my whole family gather around. They looked so happy as they sang to me at the top of their lungs.

It's moments like this I wish I could freeze and live in forever. My whole family happy and whole around me, all in one place at one time, singing out of love. I could feel tears of joy well in my eyes.

They finished singing and I was too stunned to remember what I was supposed to do now.

"Blow out the candles mom!" Emmett prompted me.

I laughed at myself, of course I had to blow out the candles. So silly of me to forget. I took a deep breath in and puffed out as hard as I could, trying to catch every last tinny flickering flame. Of course I didn't manage them all but I gave it a good do. I took one last breath to the blow the last few stubborn flames out as my family cheered me on.

I took one more look around at all their smiling faces. All their worries of impending parenthood and illness forgotten, just for one small moment. What a precious thing it was, to have your family smiling around you. I would never ever ever get tired of that, not in a million years.

I loved my family so dearly and, I could see in their eyes, they loved me too.

The look on moms face when dad brought the cake out was priceless. Her eyes light up and I almost thought she was about to start crying. I felt guilty feeling joy in her happiness because I had had nothing do it with it! I hadn't even thought about a cake, for goodness sake I didn't even remember it was her birthday until Edward phoned me last night! For all my mom had done for me over the years and all she continued to do, the least I could do for her was remember her birthday. When had I become such a bad daughter?

"Babe you look sad, you okay?" Jasper said as he came up behind me wrapping his arms round my waist.

I spun round in his embrace and smiled up at him. "Yeah it's nothing, just feel bad you know...I didn't do any of this," I gestured around at the cake and food and smiling happy family.

"Alice don't do that, don't be so hard on yourself, you can't do everything." He said, cupping my face in his hand. "If anything, I'm the one at fault, you've spent so much of your time looking after me that you haven't had time for your family and that's not right."

I looked up at him frowning, "Jasper don't say that! Of course it's not your fault, I'd do anything for you and trust me...it's total selfishness I promise. No it's not you, I'm just ...I just need to manage my time better that's all."

"Look around you Alice, your family will be happy with what ever time you can give them! They don't care that you didn't bake a cake of buy balloons!" He said softly.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of this miserable fuzz that had suddenly filled my head. "I'm sorry, I'm going to stop bringing the mood down! Just tired I think, this guy I know decided to be over dramatic last and ended up getting himself in hospital so I didn't get much sleep!" I joked.

"Who would do such a thing?" Jasper smiled. He leaned down kissed me, soft and quick on the lips. "Come on now, let's go spend some time with that family that you're neglecting."

"Jasper!" I gasped.

"Sorry, too soon?" He winced.

"You're very perceptive dear," I said sarcastically.

Jasper opened his mouth to retort but he was cut off as Emmett loudly announced we were readying to head to the meadow.

"Are you okay with the walk?" Rosalie said as she suddenly appeared beside us.

"Rosalie I'm fine!" Jasper protested. I tried to slip away, sensing this conversation didn't involve me. I stepped away but Jasper grabbed my arm quickly. 'I love you' he mouthed. I smiled and felt my cheeks turn red, I mouthed 'I love you too' before I moved over to join the rest of my family. I noticed a bounce in my step that hadn't been there all morning. It felt like we'd been together forever now but every time he told me he loved me it made me feel like a teenaged girl again, all giggly and glowing inside.

It wasn't a long walk to the meadow, when we were children it used to feel like a big adventure going on a day out to the meadow but really it was just a clearing about 15 minutes walk from the main house. Jasper faired surprisingly well considering the events of last night. He really had managed to bounce back pretty well which I was very grateful for.

Again there was this niggling voice in the back of my mind telling me that soon he would stop bouncing back like this, but I shushed it for now and enjoyed the walk with my family.

We all chatted and laughed loudly as the boys continued to through the football between them, dropping it on more than one occasion which always caused a string of light-hearted insults and teasing. I loved how well Jasper fit in with my brothers, you would have almost thought they'd grown up together. The three of them just clicked.

"Looks like we're here already," Dad announced, stepping into the cleaning. "Its been years since we were here. I remember you kids used to beg your mom and me to take you and you would run around all day until we had to carry you back home you were so tired."

"Hey, I never remember being carried." Emmett protested.

"Yeah it's a hard life being the oldest, son," Dad teased. "your mother and I made you walk places, you should have called child services."

"HAHA, very funny dad," Emmett retorted.

"Doctor by day, comedian by night." Dad boasted. "What can I say, I'm a man of many talents."

"Yes, but you'll notice he never gave up his day job." Mom quipped. I couldn't have helped the smile that spread across my face and the laugh that escaped my lips if I'd tried. The meadow was filled with boisterous laughter as my dad took the good humoured insults on the chin.

Mom spread out the food before us and it really was a feast. By the time I was finished, I was seriously thinking that being carried home would not be a bad idea. Jasper picked at a few things but didn't really eat all that much, I didn't want to push the issue at the moment. He was probably feeling nauseous after last night, dialysis made him feel ill quite often recently, hypotension or no.

By the time most of the food was shovelled away the sun was out and the coats were off. It had turned into a beautiful warm day. I lay basking in the sun with my head rested in Jaspers lap as he softly stroked my hair. I let myself enjoy it. I'd come to appreciate the little moments recently, just little simple moments that didn't really mean anything, yet meant so much. When life was so complicated and serious all the time it was easy to grow to love times like this. Times when your belly was full of good food, the sun was shinning and the person you loved most in the world was stroking your hair.

I don't know how long we sat there, it could have been hours and hours, when someone cried out. I sat up so quickly my head spun. Despite the sudden dizziness I looked around franticly to see what was wrong. My eyes widened when I realized the cry had come from Bella, who was leaning into Edward clutching at her swollen abdomen.

She was in labour?!

We were in the middle of the woods.

Suddenly two utter extremes were happening around me. Chaos and silence. Dad and I were over at Bella side in a shot.

"I'd been feeling twinges all morning but then I dosed off and when I woke up…oh god Edward it hurts." Bella winced.

"How long have you been getting pains?" Dad asked.

"Since I woke up, but I didn't think it was…urgh" Bella gasped.

Dad waited for the contraction to pass before asking, "Bella do you mind if I have a check to see how dilated you are?"

Bella nodded as she caught her breath. I felt rather surplus at the moment and there wasn't really anything I could do, but I stayed by her side none the less. Better too many doctors than too few I guess.

"Bella, Edward," Dad said calmly, using his voice he reserved for work. "This might come as a bit of a shock but I think the baby is going to be coming very soon."

"What?!" Bella and Edward said in unison.

"But…it's a first pregnancy, labour can take days sometimes." Edward protested.

"Sometimes yes, but not this time," Dad said. "Bella with your next contraction you need to push as hard as you can."

For Bella, it must have felt like hours, but three hard pushed later, she brought a baby girl into this world. Ten fingers and ten toes and perfect from top to bottom. She was beautiful. I swear she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. She looked like her dad already but she had her mother's eyes. They called her Renesmee. I admit I'm not the biggest fan of the name but its very sweet and…unique.

While Edward and Bella met their daughter for the first time I moved away to give them some privacy. We would have to get back to the house soon and get Bella and the baby to hospital but we could give them a few minutes to catch their breath first.

"Well that was…unexpected." Jasper whispered to me.

"Yeah," I said, still too stunned to come up with sentences.

"They look so happy," Jasper said softly. "That could be us one day, I mean, I'd like that to be us one day, if that's what you want because.."

I reached up and put my fingers against his lips. "I'd like that very much." I whispered. I leaned into him, reaching my lips up to meet his but stopped as my phone started buzzing in my pocket. "That's weird, I usually don't get a signal out here…hmm, not a number I recognise." I mumbled as I held the phone up to my ear. "Hello?" I asked.

"Dr Cullen, is that you?" A male voice said on the other end of the line. I didn't think my heart could beat any fast than it had been a minute ago when I helped deliver my own niece but…I was wrong.

I only heard half of the words the voice on the phone was saying, but that was enough. My hands were shacking as I hung up the phone and tried to get it back into my pocket without dropping it on the ground.

"Who was it?" Jasper asked.

"It was Dr Hoffman," I said, my voice shaking with the adrenaline flowing through my body. "Jasper we need to get back to Seattle, they have a transplant for you."

Dun DUN DUUUUUUNNNNN! It's looking good for Jasper! or is it...?